Under the twilight, Hori squinted slightly. One hand held Diego's as she pulled him forward, the other raised a water cup. Full of energy, she hummed a tune.
In stark contrast to Diego, who walked like he was staggering from exhaustion, completely burned out.
"By the way, I picked this up today." Diego snapped back to reality, reached into his pocket, pulled something out, and gave it a little shake. An accounting report appeared in his hand.
"Huh? Didn't I give this report to Ayasaki-san? This is bad—they must be really worried…" Hori took out her phone, opened LINE, found Ayasaki Remi, and started typing a message.
Whoosh!
Diego snatched the phone away. Hori's eyes flashed with shock. She tilted her head in confusion, staring at him.
"Whatever—home first. If those student council jerks come looking for trouble tomorrow, heh heh~" Diego showed a sinister grin.
"…That's so evil."
"It should be 'so cool.'"
...
—Hori Household—
"Dance lessons?"
"Everyone dances together~"
In the living room, Sota sat in Diego's lap, asking Hori about the essence of dancing.
"I'm the only one who can't dance. Jolyne refuses to teach me… Big sis, what should I do!!" Sota puffed out his cheeks. His gaze swept toward Jolyne, who was perched on Diego's shoulders.
Jolyne placed her finger under the corner of her right eye, pulled downward slightly, stuck out her tongue, and laughed: "No way I'm teaching a sis-con like you!"
"It's fine. You just need to remember the steps." Hori spread her arms, clapped her hands, and called to the three of them: "Who wants to dance with me for a demonstration?"
Diego's ears perked up instantly. His peripheral vision kept drifting toward Hori.
"Me!" Jolyne raised her hand, jumped down from Diego's shoulders, and excitedly ran over to grab Hori's hand. The two immediately began to spin.
Cha-cha-cha…
"…Do you even have the right to say that about me? Too sneaky—I want in too!" Sota left Diego's lap and joined the spinning circle.
"See? It's really simple. Left—right—left—right—" Hori smiled and continued: "You two are already doing great!"
"Hahahaha…"
Stare…
Jolyne is so cute… I like her… wanna pet…
Hori is so pretty too… I like her… wanna pet…
Sota also… uh, let's play airplane instead.
Diego—currently trying to find an opening to join in—|_・)
Wanna spin in circles…
No no no—this would damage this Dio-sama's dignity!
Watching Diego inexplicably shaking his head, Hori fell into thoughtful silence.
Somehow… it feels like Dio's face is screaming "I wanna play…"
"Dio—wanna dance together?" Hori tilted her head and extended her hand toward Diego, issuing a party invitation.
"Big bro, come too!"
"Dio-oniichan, come play!"
"Can't be helped. Since you all want me this badly, I guess I'll reluctantly join." Diego's lips curved. In one swift step he rushed over, took Hori's hand, and started spinning with her.
But his other empty hand…
"Big bro, hold my hand!"
"No way! Dio-oniichan obviously wants to be with me!"
The two little ones started their usual fight…
...
Dinner time…
"Everyone—eyes on me! Look at me, look at me! I hereby announce something!"
Diego stood in front of the TV, shouting loudly: "Tonight's dinner will be handled by the savior of the hungry—the one whose cooking is so good it starves people thin—the pinnacle of culinary arts—Lord Diego Brando himself!"
Clap clap clap…
The three exchanged glances, silently agreed not to speak, and clapped in unison.
"Question for the savior: why the sudden urge to cook?" Hori raised her hand like a student in an open class asking the teacher. Her eager, curious eyes gave Diego a huge rush of satisfaction.
Diego extended one finger, pointed at Jolyne—who was secretly slipping small pebbles into Sota's pocket—cleared his throat slowly.
"Ahem…"
"Eek!"
Jolyne quickly hid them, pretending nothing had happened.
"Ahem… a while back, little Jolyne had her birthday, but she had such a high fever we couldn't celebrate properly. So today—since everyone's here—we're giving Jolyne a belated unforgettable birthday. Applause if you understand!"
But the main reason is probably my fault… According to the little dinosaur, Jotaro Kujo had actually cleared his schedule for Jolyne's birthday…
"So Sota—you're the MVP today. You did great bringing Jolyne back." Diego pointed again—this time at Sota, who was secretly moving the fruit in front of Jolyne over to his own side.
"Eek!"
Sota whistled, then casually moved it back.
Diego pulled several knives from behind him, pinched the tips, and started juggling them. They flew into the air and fell one by one, landing precisely back into the sheaths tied at his waist.
"Since it's a birthday celebration, naturally the best cook in this house—this Dio—will prepare tonight's meal!"
"Oh? I can't just let that slide. When it comes to cooking, I won't lose." Hori rolled up her sleeves, gave a dangerous smile, and met Diego's blue eyes.
"Then the first-ever Kitchen King Tournament officially begins~" Hori Yuriko suddenly appeared, eyes half-closed in a beaming smile as she raised her hand. "Mama will be a judge too~"
"Mom?!"
"Auntie?!"
...
In the kitchen, Diego tied on an apron, took out a hairtail fish he'd snatched from Crab King Burger, and tossed it onto the cutting board.
Staring at the hairtail, Diego felt a wave of emotion.
It's just a fun little competition… just perform at normal level…
Lies!
This man had cooked for himself almost his entire life. He'd been praised to the point of floating by Frieren and the others for his culinary skills.
So when it came to cooking, he had his pride. One phrase echoed in his mind: Absolutely cannot lose!
To win, this guy even threw away his dignity and secretly activated Scary Monsters.
Caution is a prerequisite for victory—after all, the opponent is Hori, specialist in home cooking…
Scary Monsters!
Akira Otoishi's Red Hot Chili Pepper—who never managed to force out Scary Monsters even in death—would approve.
The skin at the corner of Diego's eyes cracked. His pupils turned into vertical dinosaur slits. His enhanced dynamic vision ensured no imperfections in the cooking process.
Then, with swift knife work, the Split Soul Katana precisely sliced the hairtail into segments. He placed them in a small basin, turned on the faucet, and rinsed them clean.
The severed fish head wasn't wasted either. He stuck three incense sticks into it, creating a simple altar for the little sprite.
After all—it's kono Dio's subordinate. Rewards are mandatory.
(PS: The little sprite has a weird quirk—likes animal heads.)
The cleaned hairtail was marinated with Sichuan peppercorns and cooking wine—entering the most dangerous step of the dish.
Sizzle sizzle…
High-end ingredients often use the simplest cooking methods. The hardworking master chef poured a large amount of oil into the wok. The hairtail went in. Wait three minutes, then flip.
The frying was intense—like it had been touched by Killer Queen—oil splattering everywhere.
The fried fish gave off waves of fragrance. The tempting golden flesh showed faint red spots. Crispy and crunchy, it instantly stimulated the appetite.
Diego picked up a piece, tasted it, and went "yee": "Good texture, but no flavor."
He took condiments from the fridge: sliced green onion, ginger, garlic; two dried chilies; one star anise for garnish.
"Time for the sauce…"
Three spoons soy sauce, one spoon dark soy sauce, one spoon oyster sauce, one spoon vinegar, 10-20g sugar—they probably prefer sweet, so one extra spoon—plus one more spoon cooking wine. Stir well.
Sauce so good even Mahoraga would eat it—done!
New pan. Diego added a little of the frying oil, stir-fried the aromatics until fragrant, then added the fish.
"The essence of deliciousness is… don't flip right away. First pour in the sauce, then add boiling water."
Finally spread the fish flat, simmer on low for ten minutes, reduce the sauce on high, gently flip once. A perfectly colored, fragrant, and flavorful braised hairtail—complete.
"Ahahaha—hairtail's here…" Diego carried the finished dishes to the table. The upward curve of his lips betrayed his restless excitement.
By the way, Hori made potato curry.
"Then… I'll dig in!" Hori Yuriko picked up her chopsticks and tasted both dishes.
Under the expectant gazes of the two, Hori Yuriko cast her vote.
"I like little Dio's cooking~"
Next was Jolyne.
"I like Hori-nee's potato curry. It tastes like home."
Last was Sota. The intense stares from Diego and Hori made it hard for him to breathe. His hand trembled as he picked up a piece and put it in his mouth.
"Sota—you just need to give the most honest opinion!"
"Yeah yeah—don't mind me and Hori's looks~"
I'm being threatened, right? Definitely threatened. What should I even say…
"I think D… no—big sis's is delicious."
Hearing this, Hori jumped up happily. Diego grabbed Sota's shoulders and shook him in disbelief: "Why?! You were clearly about to say Dio just now!"
"Because… that one was made by big sis… Food made by family tastes the best… urk—" Sota gave his answer while being shaken. After recovering, he whispered to the now-silent Diego: "Sorry, Dio-oniichan… actually I think yours tastes better."
"No… you're right. Family flavor is the best. I… lost…" Diego gave a relieved smile and gracefully accepted defeat.
[You have to grow up properly, Diego.]
How pathetic… even I'm starting to miss Mama's cooking…
I've forgotten everything. I can't even remember the taste. What I ate back then was extremely simple. So why did I look forward to it every day…
For some reason, his childhood self seemed to appear at the dinner table—full of joy, eagerly awaiting the meal Mama would bring out today.
"Um… since it's to celebrate Jolyne's birthday, I also made dessert today. But for some reason it turned out like this…"
Hori's words interrupted Diego's thoughts. He looked up to see Hori sweating coldly, face full of guilt, pulling out a "black charcoal" from behind her. It was vaguely recognizable as a cake.
"Belated happy birthday."
"Jolyne—run! Big sis is trying to poison us…" Sota whispered extremely quietly into Jolyne's ear, then put on a face of accepting death. Eyes closed, trembling, he prepared to eat his sister's heartfelt offering.
"Looks like we don't have to…" Jolyne patted Sota.
Sota opened his eyes. Diego was devouring the "black charcoal" like a whirlwind—thumbs-up the whole time.
Dio-oniichan is a hero!
"Wah… I'm so unsatisfied! My first loss in cooking!"
Truth. Diego's earlier gracious acceptance of defeat was purely to save face.
In reality, this man was so unsatisfied he was on the verge of tears. If he weren't in the Hori house, he'd already be crying, throwing a tantrum, rolling on the floor.
So Diego chose vengeful eating.
"Chew chew… I vote for Dio too. So it's a tie~" Hori chewed on the hairtail, winked at Diego, and showed a brilliantly sunny smile.
"Hori—"
The Hori household today was once again filled with joy and peace.
Today's result: Diego—victory.
(Defended the undefeated legend of cooking.)
Mini skit:
"Dad—I'm back from messing around outside. Brought you dessert on the way." Jolyne returned home, took a cupcake from her bag, and placed it in front of Jotaro, who was working.
"Really good… ten out of ten. Who made it?" Jotaro selectively went deaf—only hearing "I brought you dessert from outside." He rarely showed a smile.
Jolyne's grown up…
"It was Dio-oniichan…"
"Pfft! One hundred million out of ten! Tastes awful…"
"Hey hey—don't waste it if you're not gonna eat—"
By the way, the dessert voting result was a complete landslide victory for Diego.