Author's Note:
Honestly, I don't know if I consider myself a true Harry Potter fan; I only read crossovers that include Harry Potter and the wiki pages when I'm looking for more information.
I don't particularly like any of the golden trio, though I admit I have a soft spot for Hermione. But I do like Hogwarts, the magical system, and the hidden world of wizards—they have their own charm.
Anyway, to write a good story, I listened to the audiobooks of [Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix] and [Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince] and will probably listen to the rest of the books. My appreciation for the franchise has grown.
Trivia: My username, Demon Dark Mezzo Sangue, which I made up when I was 14, is based on the Half-Blood Prince.
Mezzo Sangue translates to [half-blood.]
Luckily, thanks to Percy Jackson, my name gets a second reference.
XXX
Story Arc: Welcome to Hogwarts
Episode 2: The Co-Teachers have arrived
Chapter 5: An unbreakable contract
Plot: Dumbledore meets Zelretch, who brings him both good and bad news about the contracts for the new DADA co-teachers. The next day, Hagrid gets one last assignment at Hogwarts before going on a mission.
XXX
POV Narrator
August 15, 1995, Hogwarts, Scotland (Earth-1965)
In the Headmaster's office, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore sat at his desk, his quill gliding rapidly across the old parchment. He was drafting an official communication for the Ministry of Magic: "happy" news that would certainly dampen Cornelius Fudge's ambitions.
The "dear" and "reasonable" Minister for Magic no longer has to worry about providing Hogwarts with a Ministry-approved teacher; the Defense Against the Dark Arts post has finally been filled not by a single professor, but by two twin Co-Teachers, a male and a female.
However, Dumbledore hesitated before placing the parchment in the envelope, sealing it, and sending it directly to Cornelius Fudge's office. The current situation of the Headmaster of Hogwarts was... unusual, even by his standards.
Only two days had passed since Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg had appeared in his office with a proposal for help and three candidates for the position of DADA teacher.
After Albus had chosen the third profile, Zelretch had dragged him all the way to Boston, America, to meet a so-called 'Occult Detective': aka Belmont, aka the 'Atomic Bomb' among the candidates.
Dumbledore was no stranger to magical travel, but this particular form of Disapparation used by Zelretch was... brutal.
Albus had always considered him the most gifted wizard in history in that art, capable of covering transoceanic distances with disconcerting fluidity, but that leap to Boston had left him with a nasty dizziness.
From that moment on, Dumbledore embarked on a journey he couldn't have described as bad, just... unusual. He found himself entering a nine-story building protected by unique defensive barriers, encountering two Homunculi guarding the lobby, having to sign a patronage agreement, and even receiving a suitcase as a welcome gift.
He then had to board a multi-directional elevator, similar to Willy Wonka's, in the company of two young men, as attractive as they were dangerous, and emerge at a secret subway station, dozens of meters below the ground of Boston.
Finally, Dumbledore, accompanied by Zelretch and his two escorts, Lancer and Archer, boarded a bullet train: the Midnight Express. They found themselves in a carriage converted into a mobile office, only to find themselves face to face with Lord Belmont, full name Bruce Bel Bahamut Belmont, the Chief Detective of the B&L Detective Agency.
Then the real challenge began: the negotiation. Convincing him to accept the assignment, agreeing on the fee, and handling the cumbersome matter of his family. Dumbledore was literally speechless to discover that the Occult Detective, at just thirty-one years old, already had nine daughters, the youngest just three months old, and had no intention of leaving them behind.
Fortunately, Zelretch had taken the reins of the negotiations. The price, however, had been extremely high: the Marshal had had to "empty his pockets," offering perfect replicas of the Hogwarts Founders' artifacts and a couple of items so rare that Dumbledore had been unaware of their existence. Furthermore, he had had to promise to pay for the entire family's stay and expenses in London himself.
Dumbledore, for his part, had only had to offer a teacher's standard pay, along with all the privileges and obligations of the position.
Added to this was a promise not to interfere in his lessons and a commitment not to involve him in their problems with the Ministry of Magic, as well as granting Belmont's family permission to visit Hogwarts on weekends.
Due to a certain policy of equal exchange between Belmont and Zelretch, the Hogwarts library was about to receive a generous donation of books and exotic plants for the greenhouses; furthermore, DADA's study manuals for all seven years would be paid for entirely by Belmont.
All in all, Dumbledore had come out of it pretty well; Zelretch, on the other hand, decidedly not. But sometimes, what can you do but watch a friend down on their luck while luck kisses you?
The agreement had finally been sealed, though only verbally; the contracts had not yet been signed, which is why Dumbledore had not yet sent his statement to the Ministry of Magic.
Belmont was to become DADA's teacher, but Zelretch had also managed to convince the investigator's twin sister, Adeline, who was in his office.
From what Dumbledore had gathered, the two of them had ruined Adeline's plans, as she had just taken a sabbatical; to make up for it, she had decided to spend the entire year at her brother's side, bringing along her own children: Kong and Yang, four-year-old twins, a boy and a girl.
However, in addition to the "Golden Diva," Adeline Wu Jones, who Zelretch believes is as skilled a witch as her brother, but more akin to a biological weapon, an assistant named Mash Kyrielight was added. She wasn't present at the meeting, but Zelretch assured him she would follow Belmont to the ends of the earth.
That morning, Zelretch had shown up to collect the official contracts for final signature. But even though it was well past lunchtime, there was still no sign of the old sorcerer.
"Zelretch? Did something happen to you? A mishap? Did the twins change their minds at the last minute?" Dumbledore muttered, his voice cracking with concern as he fiddled nervously with his quill.
Suddenly, the office was flooded with a flash of multicolored light, a phenomenon the Headmaster had come to recognize all too well: the Wizard Marshal had returned.
"I've done it, Dumbledore! I have the signatures. Belmont, Adeline, and Mash will be here tomorrow morning, luggage included," Zelretch announced. With a dramatic flourish, he placed three duplicate contracts on the desk and, in a touch of anachronistic modernity, a USB stick containing the digital versions.
Dumbledore, however, wasn't looking at the documents. His eyes widened, his gaze fixed on his old friend.
"Zelretch... for heaven's sake, what happened to you?" he asked, dropping his pen.
The Wizard Marshal was reduced to the remnants of a man. He had lost an eyebrow, clearly burned; his face was marred by small cuts, and the vivid imprint of a violent slap reddened his cheek.
Of his impeccable overcoat there was no trace left: he wore only a shirt with one sleeve torn off and, even more bizarrely, he was completely barefoot.
"Dumbledore, let me give you some advice," Zelretch explained, rubbing his face with a grimace of pain.
The Wizard Marshal stepped forward and leaned in, as if whispering a secret: "When you enter the lion's den, you don't just have to worry about the lion, but also the lionesses and their cubs who can tear you to pieces. Creatures like that, when they gather and procreate, become the worst thing you could ever encounter."
"An enlightening piece of information," Dumbledore commented, feigning full understanding as he scanned his friend's head for any sign of a possible bump.
Regaining his composure, despite looking like he had just been attacked by large cats, Zelretch continued speaking as if nothing had happened.
"Actually, I did pretty well," Zelretch said, smiling, revealing a missing tooth.
"I find that hard to believe," Dumbledore commented, wondering honestly what state his friend would be in if things went badly.
"Explaining the situation to Adeline's three roommates and the women in Belmont's circle was more difficult than I expected. But in the end, I only got five slaps and a dozen threats," Zelretch explained, rubbing his sore cheek. As if that were truly a good result.
"And why didn't you stop them?" asked Dumbledore, certain that the Wizard Marshal could handle far more lethal threats than a few angry women.
Evidently, the Headmaster did not consider that certain women, under the right circumstances, can be more fearsome than the devil himself.
"If I had, they would have become even more furious and used magic. A slap is the lesser evil," Zelretch retorted, knowing when to fight and when to take it and run.
The Wizard Marshal touched his beard, trying to look wise just as he was about to say something shocking.
"The real problem, though, was the girls. They overheard the discussion and realized that, because of me, their father will be away for ten months. An eternity, for little girls under nine," said Zelretch, who seemed to find it almost amusing.
"Understandable; little ones tend to overdo things at that age," commented Dumbledore, drawing on his long experience as Headmaster of Hogwarts.
However, he paled at the thought of having to deal with so many children that age and their quirks, which became significantly worse when mixed with magic.
"Adara Tsuruhime B. Kurata, the heiress of Belmont, was the worst: she's only nine years old, yet she hit me with a fire spell that burned my eyebrow to ashes," Zelretch said, pointing to the area above his right eye.
"If it weren't for her parents, she probably would have pulled out her sword and SHAZAMmed," Zelretch added, gesturing, referring to the one-eyed Black Dragon heiress's unique abilities.
'What does it mean to make a SHAZAM?' thought Dumbledore, having absolutely no idea what DC Comics were.
"After Adara's fire attack, Beatrix, the seven-year-old 'long-haired', hit me with a miniature warhammer wreathed in lightning. That's where I lost my tooth," Zelretch explained, pointing to the empty spot. There was no anger in his eyes, however, but rather a glint of amusement.
"Then, the first set of twins, Aria and Alix, five years old, cast a combination of wind and water spells on me, shredding my coat and shirt. Aria used crayon runes, while Alix used an emerald jewel," explained Zelretch, who was well acquainted with the basic tricks used by the girls.
"After the first set of twins, the second arrived: Megan and Francesca, both four years old. They haven't mastered magic yet, since in their family training begins the day after their fifth birthday, but they certainly have the theoretical knowledge. They threw potions at me that literally melted my shoes," Zelretch said, looking down at his bare, cold feet.
'That's why he has so many daughters at such a young age: it must be a genetic trait. Adeline and Belmont are twins, Adeline has her own set of twins, while Belmont has two. The Weasleys are lucky not to have such a 'blessing,'' thought Dumbledore, unwilling to even imagine his school with twice as many Weasleys.
"The last three of Belmont's litter didn't do anything: two are too young and the other isn't violent. Luckily, Adeline's children were upstairs playing with some magic cards. A shame, I would have liked to see how they would have reacted," Zelretch said, sounding almost disappointed that he hadn't been attacked by the entire next generation.
"Why are you so happy, Zelretch? You've just been attacked by six little girls," Dumbledore asked, raising an eyebrow in puzzlement.
Here is the corrected and refined version of the ending of this scene:
"Because in ten years those little ones will be identical to their father," Zelretch replied, his enthusiasm beaming.
"Think of how much fun I'll have finding them part-time jobs. The Belmont lineage will provide me with entertainment for centuries to come!" declared the Wizard Marshal, revealing his true nature as an observer of chaos.
'He will never change,' thought Dumbledore, shaking his head with a resigned sigh.
"I'm sorry for what you've been through, Zelretch, but at least the agreement is sealed. Now I'll add my signature and finally let the Ministry know their intervention is no longer welcome," Dumbledore declared. With a mixture of relief and recklessness, he ran his quill over the underlined lines of the three contracts, failing to read them in his haste to close the matter.
Zelretch stiffened when he saw what Dumbledore had just done: overwhelmed by the story of his own attack, he had not had time to inform the Headmaster of a much more serious matter.
"Dumbledore, I should mention that some... minor changes have been made. The women persuaded Belmont to ask for more; negotiating with an entire family is much more difficult than doing it face-to-face," Zelretch said sheepishly, scratching his cheek. Perhaps a concussion wasn't such a remote possibility.
Or perhaps Karma had come to strike Dumbledore with bad luck, as his wallet had miraculously remained intact until that moment.
"In addition to his Defense Against the Dark Arts teaching position, Belmont will be teaching an extra course in Modern Magic. He's also requested the right to form three extracurricular clubs and approval for a sports team tied to his paternal grandmother's culture. Oh, and other little trifles," Zelretch explained, casting his memories from memory.
Dumbledore dropped his pen, his mouth hanging open in shock: he had made an unforgivable mistake due to haste.
"I almost forgot one more important thing: Belmont is a true master of magical contracts," Zelretch added, gesturing to the scrolls on the desk.
At that instant, the three documents burst into flame, transforming into particles of light that washed over Dumbledore like a swarm of fireflies; they passed through his clothes, entering directly into his flesh.
A slight burning sensation hit Dumbledore, and he sprang to his feet.
"Well, it's too late to renegotiate the terms now," Zelretch shrugged.
Dumbledore frantically pushed up his sleeves: his arms were entirely covered in runic symbols and indecipherable lines that, if stared at for long, changed to English writing.
"Old-school magic contract," the Wizard Marshal explained, failing to mention that it was a variant used by Fay and demons.
"Once signed, it becomes pure magic and fuses with the skin of the parties. Anyone who attempts to break it will end up with, at the very least, fifth-degree burns all over their body," Zelretch added, providing the technical details.
Then, to demonstrate that he was on the same boat, he raised his arm towards the Headmaster: in a flash, his skin too was covered in identical, though much more complex, glyphs.
Belmont had clearly gone easy on Dumbledore, while showing no mercy to Zelretch.
"For convenience, they appear and disappear on command," Zelretch said in a calm voice, making the contract symbols etched into his skin vanish with a mere thought.
"I screwed myself," said Dumbledore, suddenly and desperately in need of a very strong Butterbeer.
The Headmaster of Hogwarts rarely felt so vulnerable; but, as they say, the mistakes of great men are destined to be catastrophic.
"Only halfway, Dumbledore," Zelretch pointed out.
"The contract has been written into the skin of all the parties: me, you, Belmont, Adeline, and Mash. None of us can break our word or shirk our written duties. You will have a Defense teacher who, even if he were dead, will leave his post before the end of the year. You will be the Headmaster who can boast the best pair of professors in the history of the British wizarding community, or perhaps the whole of Europe," Zelretch explained, laying out the good part of that airtight contract.
Zelretch paused, enjoying his friend's bewildered expression, before moving on to the 'bad' part.
"The real bummer? One of your co-teachers is dying to work. He wants to be deeply involved in the students' lives, invest in infrastructure and school supplies, build a new sports arena, and expand the library. There will just be... a few more explosions. A few fireworks, confetti, glitter dust, neon lights, and pop-star singing. Hogwarts will still be Hogwarts, just a lot more colorful, louder, and more well-equipped," Zelretch concluded with a wolfish grin.
Dumbledore's thirst for drink subsided slightly, replaced by a flood of new questions. Zelretch continued to smile: he knew full well that the castle was about to become the scene of the greatest tumult in centuries.
Centuries of dusty traditions were about to collide head-on with the vision of those who looked straight to the future.
"I was afraid earlier that, in trying to keep rats out, you had let a tiger into my school," said Dumbledore, unsure whether to be relieved or concerned.
"But from the way you talk, perhaps this 'tiger' will benefit the students... even if it costs me my peace of mind," said Dumbledore, looking to Zelretch for an explanation.
"Tranquility is overrated," Zelretch commented, completely honest about it.
"Any advice on what I should expect from them?" asked Dumbledore, hoping that Zelretch, knowing the new teachers well, could at least provide him with some useful information.
"As for Defense... Dumbledore, your students will receive the best teaching possible this year. They will be unconventional, perhaps controversial, but they will certainly find nothing better in the world. After them, no other teacher will ever be able to compete." Zelretch said, pausing dramatically.
"Belmont, no matter what you do, will remain a unique case, for better or worse. He will be a dedicated teacher, ready to make a single year under his tutelage the equivalent of two or four years of DADA teaching at Hogwarts, thus making up for the lost years. Fortunately, with Adeline and her artistic and narcissistic inclinations, and Mash as your moral compass, nothing serious will happen. If any problems arise, ask Mash for help; she knows how to make students think," Zelretch declared, a glint of impatience in his eyes for the imminent start of the school year.
"And what about the extra Modern Magic course?" asked Dumbledore.
Despite the simplicity of the name, the term made him uneasy: it seemed vague and he feared it could become a source of problems with the more traditional Purebloods and for the Ministry of Magic, which lately had been looking for any excuse possible to stick its nose into matters that did not concern it.
Zelretch let out a deep sigh, thinking for a moment before answering.
"Knowing him, he will explain, demonstrate, and teach types of magic from every corner of the globe, stripping them of unnecessary cultural trappings to maximize their effectiveness. Perhaps he will introduce some of the styles of the new school of magic tied to his paternal grandmother's culture: Plant, Bard, and Illusion Magic, but also Abomination, Beast, Construction, Potion, and Healing Magic," Zelretch said presumptuously.
"I think I'll have to discuss the details in person," Dumbledore said, sensing he'd need to consult Belmont personally to see how he intended to handle the extra course. He intended to ask specific questions about the spells Zelretch had mentioned: some were already clear to him, but others decidedly less so.
"Of course, this is just one direction the Modern Magic course could take. There's a good chance Belmont will decide to turn the students into full-fledged Artificers," Zelretch explained. He knew well what the detective would do as soon as he realized that no subject at Hogwarts dealt with the creation of magical artifacts.
"It will teach them how to imbue metal, gears, and jewelry with Mystery, or how to carve components from animal carcasses to assemble artificial objects or beings. The most promising students might even learn to forge Mystic Codes, truly personalized magical artifacts," Zelretch said, pausing briefly to observe the effect those words had on Dumbledore.
The Wizard Marshal saw that Dumbledore was extremely interested: his gaze was the same as before, the same one he had when he was young and magic still held secrets for him.
"At the very least, a handful of kids will learn to make Golems of all shapes and functions. And I wouldn't rule out creating humanoid puppets: Belmont attended a specialized magical university on an island populated primarily by Yokai-like beings, specifically to perfect that art. He also spent a fortune tracking down and studying under Touko Aozaki herself," the Wizard Marshal concluded, aware that Belmont's obsession with magical craftsmanship bordered on fanaticism.
"I knew he was an alchemist, given the presence of Homunculus in his office lobby; but if he is indeed a Maker of Magical Items, an art that was almost extinct when I was young, then the Modern Magic course will have my full support. First, however, I must speak to Belmont and see what he is capable of," Dumbledore said enthusiastically, though tempered by his role and his experience.
"Is there any need to worry about the clubs?" Dumbledore asked, less anxious about it. After all, he remembered Horace Slughorn's Slug Club: a circle of favors, certainly, but nothing that had ever harmed the students; in fact, many had benefited from it.
"It's hard to say. Belmont is a man who gets bored easily; he's always seeking new stimuli and cultivates an infinite number of pastimes. But I'm sure at least one will be a Film Club," Zelretch replied with complete casualness.
"A Film Club?" Dumbledore repeated, surprised. He'd expected something exotic or dangerously extravagant, not something so... Muggle-like.
"I remind you that the Belmont Detective Bureau is located directly between an old movie theater and a Dungeons & Dragons store," Zelretch pointed out, as if the geographic location explained everything.
"That Occult Detective is filthy rich, Dumbledore. He's ingratiated himself with the mayor, the police, the district attorney, and half the bigwigs in Massachusetts. If he wanted, he could just make a phone call and have an entire city block razed and rebuilt in his image," Zelretch explained, with the casualness of someone talking about something very simple.
"So... a Muggle film club?" Dumbledore finally asked.
"Exactly. He'll bring everything you need: projector, films, and food. Your students will have the opportunity to enjoy a relaxing evening this weekend," Zelretch said.
"That sounds like a welcome idea. After all, I'd like to try popcorn again," Dumbledore admitted, allowing himself a small smile.
Then the Headmaster of Hogwarts, remembering the last clause, added: "And what about the sports team?"
"You can ask him that in person tomorrow. I'm going home now, I really need to change my clothes," Zelretch replied.
And before Dumbledore could object, the Wizard Marshal vanished in a thunderous flash of rainbow lights, leaving the office in an almost eerie silence.
All that remained of his passing was a note lying on the desk: "The Midnight Express will arrive tomorrow at 10:00 sharp. Send someone to meet Belmont, Adeline and Mash."
"I think Hagrid can take care of this last task before he goes on his mission among the giants," muttered Dumbledore, picking up the scrap of paper with a sigh.
The Principal wasted no further time.
With renewed determination (and a constant thought of that magical contract burning invisibly on his skin), he dipped his quill pen into the ink.
He had to send the letter to the Ministry of Magic to nip Cornelius Fudge's maneuvers in the bud.
He would then convene the faculty and inform the members of the Order of the Phoenix of the good news: the Ministry had failed in its attempt to take over Hogwarts.
XXX
August 16, 1995, Hogwarts, Scotland (Earth-1965)
Rubeus Hagrid was a sixty-six-year-old half-giant who certainly didn't go unnoticed: at twelve feet tall, he was twice the size of an average man and at least three times as wide. A shock of raven hair and an unkempt beard framed his face, revealing only his dark eyes, which glowed like black beetles. He wore his trademark moleskin overcoat, a garment so packed with pockets it could hold anything from Hogwarts keys to illegal dragon eggs.
At that moment, the half-giant was on the platform of Hogsmeade train station, a few steps from the shores of the Black Lake. Dumbledore had entrusted him with an honorable task: to escort the new DADA co-teachers and their assistant to the castle.
It would be his last official assignment for a while; in a few days he would set out on a secret and dangerous mission, an attempt to curry favor with the giants.
Luckily, the half-giant would have the support of an old acquaintance of his who lived in France... and, judging by the way his eyes lit up at the thought, it was clear that Hagrid had a major crush on her.
"The Headmaster made it clear... be here outside the station by ten o'clock sharp and wait for a train other than the Hogwarts Express," Hagrid muttered to himself. He consulted a pocket watch that, in his enormous hands, looked little more than a penny.
He stuck his head over the edge of the platform, scanning the tracks left and right with a hint of confusion.
The air was still, the surface of the lake as flat as a mirror. There was no sound of a locomotive's chugging, nor was there smoke on the horizon; there was no sign that a train was actually approaching.
"Are they late? Or maybe they've had trouble with the engine? Maybe they've taken the wrong train line..." Hagrid muttered worriedly.
It was less than ten seconds before ten o'clock and there was still no sign of the new DADA teachers.
The half-giant's eyes were fixed on the second hand which was advancing inexorably towards the number twelve, while the silence of the station became almost deafening.
Without warning, just above the railway line and a hundred yards from Hogsmeade station, five spheres of vibrant light appeared: red, blue, black, white, and green. They were arranged in a perfect pentagon.
Suddenly, the spheres began to rotate, accelerating until they merged into a complex chromatic spiral that tore through space, opening a multicolored portal initially just large enough for a couple of people to walk through.
The scene is depicted with great visual impact; the contrast between Hagrid's bulk and the force of the blast conveys the power of the Midnight Express well.
Here is the corrected and polished version, where I have fixed the punctuation and verb tenses to make the action more pressing:
Within seconds, the portal expanded, humming electrically and shooting out sparks of five different colors, until it was large enough to allow a truck, a tank, or even an entire train to pass through.
The half-giant turned toward the blinding light, his mouth hanging open as he attempted to form an exclamation of disbelief.
Hagrid took a step back, shielding his eyes with an enormous hand; he had never seen anything like it, yet he had seen plenty thanks to his work at Hogwarts and for Dumbledore: he had even once held the Philosopher's Stone in his own hands.
But the half-giant didn't have time to make a sound: from the heart of the portal a dark purple trail shot out, fast and deadly as lightning.
The blast was so sudden and violent that Hagrid, despite his colossal size, staggered and nearly fell.
In his surprise, his grip on the pocket watch slipped; the object slid to the ground with a clang, shattering on the pavement of the platform. The hands, now motionless, read precisely 10:00.
The purple smoke began to clear, revealing the massive shape of a bullet train that looked like it belonged to neither the wizarding world nor the Muggle one.
In front of Hogsmeade Station, under Hagrid's gaze, was the Midnight Express: a dark purple bullet train with obsidian-black panels, embellished with intricate silver threads. For some inexplicable reason, the train had no windows; instead, its sides were clad in a mechanical armor with an aggressive, futuristic design.
"Dumbledore wasn't joking at all... a train appeared like something out of a nightmare or one of Arthur Weasley's dreams," muttered Hagrid, placing a massive hand over his heart to calm its pounding; the Midnight Express's single appearance had caught him completely off guard.
'A train with no windows... I wonder how they know when to stop or see what's outside,' thought Hagrid curiously. He couldn't even begin to imagine the existence of technologies like micro-cameras, thermal sensors, sophisticated human-machine connections, or, much less, the idea that sentient machines might exist.
The door of the first car slid aside with a pneumatic hiss. But before passengers could disembark, a flock of crows burst from the train: a sea of black feathers that engulfed the platform. Leading them was a majestic female, with icy blue eyes and a silver beak and legs.
The alpha bird wore a sort of silvery armor, metal protection designed to enhance its lethality. An unsuspecting person could lose a piece of their hand, face, or even their throat with a single blow.
Hagrid wasn't frightened; his walks in the Forbidden Forest had accustomed him to much more imposing creatures. He simply raised a massive arm to shield his face from the whirlwind of wings.
The ravens quickly dispersed across the Scottish sky: hundreds of them, eerie red-eyed creatures with X-shaped pupils.
As the flock took up position, their leader began flying in perfect circles above the station, transforming himself into a silent sentinel: a watchful eye in the sky, scanning every corner of Hogsmeade.
Only after the 'air escort' had taken up position did the four figures begin to descend the steps of the Midnight Express.
"They're magnificent! I've never seen birds like them... I wonder if I could persuade Dumbledore to buy some armor for our owls, they'd be useful," muttered Hagrid, looking up instead of straight ahead at the people he was supposed to be welcoming.
"He's taller than Heracles (8'10") and even Asterios (11'8")," commented a kindly female voice from the third figure, who had to crane her head upwards to look Hagrid in the face.
"Mash, that's practically an insult to those two Greek guys! It's like comparing a bison to a divine war bull," the second figure added in a soft, androgynous voice, referring to Heracles' divine nature and Asterios' Minotaur-like nature.
These words brought Hagrid back to reality, making him look down.
The half-giant saw four figures disembark from the Midnight Express, each one standing out for a multitude of reasons, starting with their extraordinary beauty and a style of clothing never before seen within the walls of Hogwarts.
The first figure was a woman of dazzling beauty: five feet seven inches tall, with short, golden-blond hair that covered her right eye.
Her skin was amber, and her left eye shone a pure, unnatural gold. She wore an elegant, seductive dress in shades of white and blue, complemented by long gloves and immaculate boots, a blue ribbon around her neck, and a matching cap.
Over her gloves, she wore ten gold rings, each set with a different precious stone. On her arm, she sported a small blue handbag that, ironically, alone cost more than everything Ron Weasley's family had ever owned.
"From the descriptions Dumbledore provided, this lady must be Miss Adeline: peerless beauty and ten distinctive rings. Not exactly my type, as I prefer women my own size, but she'll certainly turn the heads of a lot of students at Hogwarts," thought the half-giant, having eyes only for Madame Maxime.
Next to Adeline was practically her male counterpart: same height, same build, identical facial features. The man appeared markedly effeminate and had marble-pale skin. His hair was pitch black and very long, tied in braids that covered his left eye; the only visible eye, the right, was a pale, glassy gray.
He wore black and red robes reminiscent of a detective's uniform from Muggle movies, but infinitely more elegant and impeccable. Around his neck was a strange white ferret imitating a scarf, and just below it was a "replica" of Salazar Slytherin's golden locket. In his hands he clutched a walking stick, half wood, half metal, decorated with a fair number of glittering trinkets.
"If Dumbledore hadn't warned me it was a man, I would have sworn it was Miss Adeline's twin. But this must be Lord Belmont. He looks powerful... he reminds me of some of the creatures I encounter in the Forbidden Forest," thought the half-giant. He felt strangely at ease: after all, he had always preferred wild beasts to people.
The third person, Mash Kyrielight, was a twenty-eight-year-old woman who nevertheless appeared to be eternally eighteen, if not younger.
Standing five feet tall, with pale skin and long lilac hair that fell to her waist, she inevitably caught everyone's eye. Her bangs covered her left eye, lending her a mysterious air that contrasted with her athletic, harmonious figure. She wore an impeccable professional outfit: purple jacket and trousers, a pink shirt, and a matching tie, all complemented by gloves and high heels that gave her a touch of severe elegance.
Finally, the fourth figure was Levi Kazama. Despite his thirty-four years, he barely looked twenty. Small and slender, he wore his long brown hair pulled back in a high ponytail, secured by an ornamental shuriken. He wore a red kimono with a floral pattern and a long white scarf that flowed down his back. The most unusual and enigmatic details by Hogwarts standards were the short katana tied behind his shoulders and a peculiar ring-shaped tattoo on his left index finger.
I don't know which of these two ladies is Lady Kyrielight, the assistant... Dumbledore didn't tell me there'd be a fourth individual at all,' thought Hagrid, slightly confused. But he didn't stay confused for long: he soon remembered some of the Headmaster's words.
"After all, he warned me that anything could happen to Lord Belmont, even a little girl clinging to his leg." This thought reassured him, but his mind was soon gripped by far more pressing doubts.
'But why are they all so attractive?' wondered Hagrid, scratching his beard vigorously.
'And what's with those covered eyes? Is it a new Muggle fad or something?' Hagrid began to seriously suspect that, instead of just teachers, the Headmaster had brought a group of Veela or those "supermodels" the Muggles talk so much about to the castle.
One thing was certain: with that look, the new DADA teachers would become incredibly popular among the students.
Belmont, looking at Hagrid, snapped his fingers at Adeline. The woman stepped forward, flashing a foxy smile.
"Hello, great man! Have you been sent by Headmaster Dumbledore as a welcome escort?" Adeline asked friendlyly. She had a melodious voice and that French accent she loved to flaunt.
That inflection sent a shiver of pleasure down the half-giant's spine.
'This woman must be half mermaid, she's got a spellbinding voice,' thought Hagrid, making a mental note that he absolutely must learn French... for the love of art and a certain lady as tall as himself.
"Hello... I'm Hagrid, I work at Hogwarts. The Headmaster sent me to greet you and take you to the castle," explained the half-giant, feeling strangely on edge.
"Adeline, take a few steps back. Your charm might knock this..." The Occult Detective was about to say a word like vagrant, bum, or Sasquatch.
But he was stopped in his tracks by Mash, who gave her Senpai a sharp and efficient elbow in the ribs, preventing him from inaugurating his new job with his usual lack of tact.
"...Dumbledore's employee," Belmont concluded with stoic detachment, then glanced at Mash. She simply smiled back, not at all intimidated.
"As you wish, brother," said Adeline, backing away. She hadn't really meant to tease the half-giant; after all, her taste in men was the polar opposite of Hagrid's, in every possible way.
Adeline returned to her other half's side and took his arm, pressing her generous breasts against him without too much fuss, but without producing the slightest effect.
The Chief Detective remained completely still and impassive like an ice statue, where so many other men, and just as many women, would surely have reacted.
Seeing that scene of fanservice bordering on twincest, Mash and Levi rolled their eyes, even though deep down their minds began to give birth to strange ideas.
The two women were now all too accustomed to an ultra-clingy Adeline, completely incapable of understanding the concept of "personal space" or "keeping your hands at home."
"I don't know whether to be jealous or feel sorry for you, Mash. Sharing quarters with Adeline and Bruce for ten months," Levi commented in a joking, suggestive tone.
Mash blushed visibly, aware that the nights ahead of her would not be easy or restful for many reasons: some work-related, others decidedly more personal.
'They look like a very close-knit bunch,' thought Hagrid, smiling, confident that he was looking at a united and happy 'pack'.
"Hello, Mr. Hagrid! I'm Mash Kyrielight and I'll be the full-time assistant to my Senpai and his sister," Mash introduced herself warmly.
Just then, a cloud moved, revealing the sun: the light struck the girl, making her appear almost like a celestial figure.
An impression that, after all, was not so far from reality.
'Good, now I know who Lady Kyrielight is,' thought Hagrid, relieved. His gaze, however, immediately slid to Levi.
The woman didn't look like a witch at all: she had a unique air all her own.
'But who is the lady in those bizarre clothes? And what is she doing here?' thought the half-giant, unable to find a logical explanation for her presence.
"Mash, you can call me Onee-sama! We've known each other for a long time and we're close now," Adeline interjected in a languid, provocative voice.
"If you overdo it with Mash in front of the students, I'll beat you," Bruce interrupted, coldly pointing the metal end of his walking stick directly under the twin's throat.
"Brother, why are you always so protective of Mash and never of me?" Adeline asked, putting on a childish pout.
"Because you are a lethal woman with a host of psychological problems," he replied in a flat, detached voice.
"It's the people who need protection from you," Belmont said, ready to harm his sister if she so much as tried to harm Mash or the rest of his family whose blood wasn't shared.
Instead of taking offense, Adeline smiled even more playfully. "Then hurt me, because I want to kill you with hugs!" she exclaimed, completely ignoring the tip of the stick pressing against her throat.
Unfazed, Bruce used the staff as a catalyst: he released a precise telekinetic push that sent his sister flying backwards for about ten meters, sending her sliding along the pavement of the platform.
"You must have a lot to do here, Mash," Levi commented, chuckling at the twins' usual antics.
"I know. I love them both, but one moment they're trying to gouge each other's eyes out, the next they're hugging each other," Mash replied in a low voice, lowering her gaze slightly.
And he wasn't exaggerating at all: after all, there was a very specific reason why both Bruce and Adeline kept one of their eyes permanently hidden under their bangs.
"Um... sorry to butt in, but may I know who you are, miss?" asked the half-giant, turning to the smallest woman in the group.
"I'm Levi Kazama. I'm the mother of that mystery and magic fanatic's youngest child," she introduced herself, nodding toward Belmont.
"Says the ninja fanatic," Bruce retorted, without even turning to face the small Japanese woman.
"I'm not a ninja fanatic, I'm a kunoichi!" Levi declared proudly.
In a movement so swift it was invisible to the human eye, he flicked a small shuriken from his sleeve straight at Bruce's head.
Belmont, unfazed, blocked the weapon in midair with a telekinetic grip using the staff as a focus and compressed it until it was reduced to a tiny, harmless metal ball.
"I really like it when you do that," Levi commented.
In the blink of an eye, it appeared right next to the Chief Detective, moving so fast it looked like a teleportation or a trick of pure ninja magic.
"May I know what brings you to Hogwarts, Mrs. Kazama?" the half-giant asked with extreme politeness, trying not to get too involved in the strange dynamics of that bizarre quartet.
The odd couple formed by the investigator and the kunoichi turned in unison towards the giant, forcing him to instinctively take a step back.
"I just want to have a word with the Headmaster and remind him to be very careful how he treats my daughter's father," the female ninja stated.
To emphasize his words, he gave the detective's leather-clad bottom a resounding slap.
"If anyone else had done it to me, I would have broken his forearm or chopped off his hand," Bruce muttered under his breath, making no effort to hide his lethal nature.
Levi, amused by that reaction, playfully squeezed his hand that was holding the stick.
Hagrid, being a simple, good-natured man, saw nothing wrong with it. It seemed natural to him that a teacher's partner would want to reassure the Headmaster, especially when it came to the DADA chair, and he simply considered them a very close couple.
'It's a good thing the last Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers were all single,' thought Hagrid to himself, stroking his beard.
'Otherwise Hogwarts would have a slew of feisty widows suing the school by now,' mused the half-giant, trying not to think about the bad things, especially in these dark times.
Adeline returned to her brother's side, while Mash positioned herself next to Levi, who finally let go of Bruce's hand.
"So, how do we get to this castle? On foot? By car? By flight? Or by teleportation?" Belmont asked, listing some decidedly modern methods of travel.
"There are two ways: by carriage or by boat," explained Hagrid simply.
'Carriages and boats? The wizards of this world are even further behind than the more traditional members of the Wizards' Association!' Mash thought to himself.
She was accustomed to a whole different level of technology, having been born and raised within a hyper-technological base with the purpose of safeguarding humanity and the world.
"Would it be a problem if we took the boats?" Hagrid suggested, sounding almost regretful.
"Normally, at the beginning of the year I take the first-year students across the lake in boats, but this time I won't be able to do that because of my trip."
"It makes no difference to me," Levi declared, shrugging.
"No problem for us, Mr. Hagrid," Mash reassured him with a kind smile, happy to do such a small favor for the good-natured man.
The kunoichi and the lilac-haired girl then shifted their gaze to the "Diva" and the "Detective", who remained the most authoritative voices in the group when it came to making a decision.
"We're going boating!" the one-eyed twins exclaimed in unison, speaking with one voice.
Hagrid blinked several times, genuinely surprised that two such elegant, wealthy, and well-dressed people would have accepted such a humble, basic means of transport with such enthusiasm.
"Thank you so much for granting my selfish little wish!" said the half-giant, almost moved.
"Don't get all sentimental, big man. We're not doing this out of empathy at all... at least, not Adeline and I," Bruce, who wasn't exactly known for his emotional sensitivity, quickly snapped.
"So why do you prefer boats?" asked Hagrid, genuinely curious.
"I don't like to fly," declared Bruce, who much preferred to keep his feet firmly on the ground, even though his mind often traveled to faraway worlds.
"I love flying!" Adeline replied with a radiant smile.
"I prefer to stay underground," continued Belmont, who had a deep love for the secret bases dug deep into the rock.
"And the idea of being stuck with tons of earth above my head gives me the shivers," added Adeline who, ironically, was an archaeologist and often ended up working right underground.
"But we both love water!" the brother and sister admitted in unison, speaking with one voice again.
"The swimsuits are a dream, not to mention the beaches!" Adeline chirped, shooting a knowing look at a visibly embarrassed Mash.
"I, on the other hand, like fish, boats, yachts, submarines, sea monsters, pirates, and water-related magic," Bruce concluded, suddenly revealing an unexpectedly talkative side to his personality.
"Surely you'll find something to do on weekends when you're not teaching!" exclaimed the half-giant, genuinely appreciating the change from cold ice king to passionate sea dog.
"So? Shall we head for these boats?" Levi asked, planting a hand on his hip.
"I have to take care of the train first," Bruce replied, turning one hundred and eighty degrees toward the engine.
Effortlessly, he waved his walking stick: from the first carriage sprang a massive rectangular metal suitcase, which remained in mid-air, supported by his telekinesis.
Immediately after, a precious glass bottle floated out, inside of which was the perfect "model" of a Megayacht, an extremely luxury vessel.
Staring at that bottle, Hagrid couldn't help but smile to himself.
'He must really love the ocean. I think that's a very good sign; the previous teachers had far worse habits,' thought Hagrid, having a good feeling about this year's new DADA co-teachers.
Adeline seemed to be able to read the half-giant's mind. Which was partially true: if her brother was a telekinetic monster, she was a telepath of the same caliber. At the moment, however, she wasn't using her magical abilities, just pure intuition and intelligence.
"My brother even bought Great Inagua, an island in the Bahamas famous for being the secret lair of the legendary pirate Edward Kenway," Adeline revealed proudly, recalling the beautiful memories spent in that corner of tropical paradise.
The metal suitcase literally opened in half, forming a large "V" filled with small drawers.
At the bottom of the cabinet stood a sci-fi-looking pistol, two-tone black and white, with two barrels. The drawers above were filled with miniature replicas of train carriages and other luxury vehicles, such as motorcycles, cars, campers, and even airplanes.
Belmont, with a measured wave of his staff, sealed the door of the first carriage and then struck its metal surface with the tip, applying a spell that instantly froze time within.
Bruce grabbed the sci-fi gun and pointed it at the colossal Midnight Express.
He pulled the trigger: a beam of red light hit the train which, rapidly shrinking, became as big as a harmless plastic toy.
Using telekinesis again,
Bruce guided the now tiny carriages and the locomotive to separate and slide with pinpoint precision into their respective drawers of the suitcase, which finally closed with a metallic click.
"Now that's some serious magic!" said Hagrid, genuinely impressed by what he had just witnessed.
'It's actually pure science: using Pym Particles to reduce the distance between atoms,' Mash thought to himself, remembering well how he had personally helped his Senpai obtain that extremely rare and precious resource.
"Now we can head to the boats," Belmont decreed, passing the heavy metal suitcase to Mash. The girl caught it effortlessly, now accustomed to carrying the group's disparate luggage.
With the bottle containing the yacht under one arm and his walking stick clutched in the other, Bruce started the march.
The bizarre group then began walking towards the boat dock.
"Are you getting ready to make a grand entrance of your own, little brother?" Adeline asked in a visibly playful tone.
"Maybe," Belmont replied vaguely.
"You're not planning on letting me sleep in the castle rooms, are you?" Levi asked, looking at the imposing stone fortress on the horizon.
"We'll be much safer in the center of the lake, aboard the Solstice," Belmont concluded.
His paranoid nature prevented him from blindly trusting an unknown place like Hogwarts until he had had the chance to study it thoroughly.
"Senpai, I know what you're about to do, but wait until after the meeting with the principal and the teaching staff—a little restraint won't hurt," Mash said, trying to be the voice of reason.
"For your sake, I won't weigh anchor until after noon," Belmont said, glancing quickly at the glass bottle and then at the body of water in front of Hogwarts Castle.
Continues ...
XXX
Author's Note:
I've bought the Percy Jackson books and read them several times, but I haven't written any fanfiction about him, although I've introduced some of their weapons into some of my stories.
I haven't bought any Harry Potter books; I recently started listening to the audiobooks, obviously free on YouTube, but I'm writing a fanfiction about him.
What does this mean?
Out of curiosity, who do you think is better, Percy Jackson or Harry Potter?
I vote for Percy.