Kael Varon POV
Iris's face was the first thing Kael saw when he closed his eyes.
He was dreaming again. The same nightmare that had been haunting him for three years. She stood in the temple, wearing that borrowed dress, her violet eyes hopeful and desperate. He could see the moment she thought he would claim her. The exact second her heart believed in him.
Then he destroyed that hope with a single sentence.
Kael jolted awake gasping, his entire body drenched in sweat. His chambers were dark and cold. His sheets were torn from his thrashing. His claws had extended without permission, shredding the fabric.
His wolf was still howling inside him.
That was the worst part. The constant howling. The desperate, broken sound of a beast tearing itself apart from the inside out. His wolf would not stop. Would not sleep. Would not accept what Kael had done.
The Alpha King rolled out of bed and walked to the window. The Northern Kingdom stretched below him. His kingdom. Everything he'd built. Everything he'd sacrificed for.
Including her.
Kael was thirty-one years old and looked like he was fifty.
The mirror in his chambers showed a man with hollow cheeks and dark circles under his eyes that no amount of sleep could fix. His black hair had started to gray at the temples. His golden eyes looked dead. Haunted. Like something inside him had broken and never healed.
Garrett had stopped trying to hide his concern months ago.
His Beta found him every morning in the same place. Standing at the window. Staring out at nothing. Waiting for sleep to end so the nightmares could start again.
"You need to eat something," Garrett said from the doorway. He was holding a tray of food that Kael would not touch.
"I'm not hungry."
"You haven't eaten in two days, my King."
Kael didn't respond. Food tasted like ashes anyway. Everything tasted like failure now.
Garrett set the tray down and stepped closer. His Beta was one of the few people who could speak to him honestly anymore. Everyone else walked on eggshells around the Alpha King, afraid of his mood, afraid of his power, afraid of what he might do if they pushed too hard.
Garrett had known Kael since they were pups. Garrett didn't fear him.
"The scouts report that everything is ready for the ceremony," Garrett said carefully. "The temple is prepared. The other Alphas confirmed their attendance."
The ceremony.
Kael felt his wolf lurch with something close to panic.
The Moonrise Ceremony. It happened once every ten years. Which meant it was happening again. Which meant he had to go back to that temple. Had to stand on those steps. Had to do this all over again but knowing what he'd lost.
"I should have claimed her," Kael said quietly.
It wasn't the first time he'd said it. He'd been saying the same thing over and over for three years. His wolf agreed. His heart agreed. Everything inside him except the part that had made the decision agreed.
"Yes," Garrett said simply. He never lied to Kael. Never softened the truth.
"I told myself it was the right choice. That a King has to make hard decisions. That she was wolfless and powerless and politically useless." Kael's hands clenched into fists. "I told myself I was protecting the kingdom."
"And now?"
"Now my wolf is tearing me apart because I rejected my mate." Kael turned from the window and looked at Garrett. "Now I know the truth. She was always mine. I felt it. My wolf knew it. And I destroyed it because I was too much of a coward to defy politics."
Garrett didn't argue. There was no point in arguing. Kael was right.
Over three years Kael had slowly fallen apart. At first he thought he could forget her. Thought the rejection would fade like any other failed courtship. He was wrong.
The broken mate bond didn't fade. It festered.
His wolf became unstable. Violent. Kael found himself snapping at his court. Destroying things when his anger spiked. Nearly killing a sparring partner when they said something careless about female wolves.
He'd stopped attending social functions. Stopped pretending that the Alpha King was stable and strong. Started spending all his time in his chambers, unable to sleep, unable to function, unable to do anything but exist in this hell of his own making.
Garrett had watched it all happen and never once told Kael he was overreacting.
Because he wasn't overreacting. Kael was losing his mind exactly the right amount for a wolf who'd rejected his fated mate.
"The other Alphas are arriving today," Garrett said. "Theron sent word that he's been researching something. He wouldn't say what."
Kael didn't care what Theron was researching. Kael cared that going to that ceremony meant standing where he stood three years ago. Meant remembering exactly how Iris looked when she thought he might claim her. Meant facing the fact that he'd hurt the one person his soul was tied to.
"Maybe she's dead," Kael said the words out loud for the first time. "Maybe the Shadowlands killed her."
He wanted that to be true. Wanted to believe she was at peace somewhere instead of suffering like he was suffering. At the same time, the thought of her dead made his wolf scream so loudly that Kael had to grip the windowsill to stay upright.
"The scouts never found a body," Garrett said quietly. "And they looked. The King ordered them to search the Shadowlands. No sign of Iris Thorne."
So she was probably dead. Probably suffered and died alone because Kael had destroyed her.
That was somehow worse than knowing she hated him.
A sudden commotion came from downstairs. Shouting. Running. The sound of guards being mobilized. Kael's wolf surged to attention, ready for battle.
Garrett moved to the door and disappeared into the hallway. Kael could hear his Beta running toward the main war room.
Then Garrett was back, and he was moving fast.
His face was pale. His hands were shaking.
"My King." Garrett's voice came out strange. Shocked. Like he was about to say something that didn't make sense. "The scouts just rode in from the southern border. They have news."
"About what?"
"A woman." Garrett's eyes locked onto Kael's. "Matching Iris Thorne's description. Entered the kingdom at dawn. The scouts say she's... she's different. Powerful. They said the ground trembled when she passed. That she glowed with some kind of light."
Kael's entire world stopped.
His wolf exploded inside his chest, howling so loud he was surprised the windows didn't shatter.
"Where?" The word came out as a command that made the stone walls vibrate.
"She's heading toward the temple, my King. She's heading toward the ceremony."