The next morning felt heavier.
Not because anything had changed—
But because now,
I was starting to notice it.
I reached the classroom earlier than usual.
The room was quieter.
A few students were already there, talking softly.
For a moment,
I thought maybe today would feel different.
I walked to my seat.
And stopped.
Sihoon was already there.
He was looking down at his notebook,
writing something like always.
Calm.
Focused.
Unchanged.
"…Good morning," I said quietly.
He looked up.
"…Morning."
A simple reply.
Nothing more.
I sat down slowly.
For a moment,
I didn't say anything.
But the silence felt longer than it should.
"…Sihoon."
I called his name again.
He turned.
"Yes?"
I hesitated.
"I…"
The words didn't come out the way I wanted.
"I wanted to talk to you."
He looked at me for a second.
Not avoiding.
But not close either.
"…About what?"
stood beside him for a moment.
Before I could say anything—
"Hey, you're here."
Yian's voice cut in as he walked toward us.
"Today we have to join a club," he said casually.
I blinked slightly.
Right.
I had forgotten about that.
"Wow, that's interesting, isn't it?"
Minhu's voice came from the other table.
He leaned back in his chair, looking at us.
"What club are you going to join?" he asked.
Yian didn't hesitate.
"I think I'll join the film club," he said.
"I like videography."
"That suits you," Minhu laughed.
Then his eyes moved to me.
"What about you, Jia?"
I paused.
"I… haven't thought about it yet."
The answer felt incomplete.
Without thinking—
I turned slightly.
"…What about you?" I asked.
My eyes went to Sihoon.
For a second—
I thought he would look at me.
But he didn't.
"I haven't decided yet," he said.
His voice was calm.
But his eyes stayed on his notebook.
Not on me.
"Come on," Yoonji said from her seat beside Minhu,
smiling slightly.
"He'll definitely join the math club."
Minhu laughed.
"Yeah, that sounds like him."
Yian groaned dramatically.
"Ahh, math club is the worst. I hate math."
A few of them laughed.
I tried to smile.
But my attention stayed somewhere else.
On the space between us.
So close—
and yet,
he still didn't look at me.
Before anyone could say more—
The classroom door opened.
The teacher walked in, and the noise slowly settled.
I returned to my seat beside him.
For a moment—
I almost looked at him again.
But I didn't.
"Alright," the teacher said, placing his books on the desk.
"You all know that today we'll be choosing clubs."
A few students straightened in their seats.
"You can submit your names within two days," he continued.
"There are many options. Choose something you're interested in—something you enjoy."
He paused, looking around the class.
"Think about your passion."
A voice from the back spoke up—
"What if we don't have a passion?"
A few students laughed softly.
The teacher smiled slightly.
"Then this is your chance to find one," he replied.
Another student added—
"Or maybe we'll never have one."
The class laughed louder this time.
The teacher shook his head lightly.
"If you keep thinking like that, then yes—maybe you won't."
More laughter filled the room.
I tried to smile.
But my thoughts drifted again.
To something else.
Two days.
That's what he said.
I glanced down at my notebook.
I hadn't even decided yet.
Without thinking—
my eyes moved slightly.
Toward him.
Sihoon was writing something again.
Focused.
Unbothered.
Like none of this mattered.
I looked away quickly.
"…What should I choose?"
The question stayed quietly in my mind.
But somehow—
it didn't feel like the only question anymore.
The class slowly settled again.
Some students were already whispering to each other—
talking about which club they wanted to join.
"Film club sounds fun," Yian said from behind me.
"I heard they even make short movies."
"That's because you just want to skip studying," Minhu laughed.
"Excuse me? That's called creativity," Yian replied dramatically.
A few students around them laughed.
I listened quietly.
Their conversation felt light.
Easy.
The kind that didn't need thinking.
"…What about you, Jia?"
Yian leaned forward slightly, resting his arm on my desk.
I paused.
"I'm not sure yet."
"Come on, you have to choose something," he said.
"There's music, art, sports—"
"Or math," Minhu added with a grin.
"Don't even start," Yian groaned.
I smiled a little.
But it didn't last long.
Without meaning to—
my eyes moved again.
To him.
Sihoon was still writing.
Like before.
Like nothing had changed.
"…Hey," Yian said softly, following my gaze.
I looked away quickly.
"…Hmm?"
"You're really distracted today."
"…Am I?"
"Yes," he said without hesitation.
I didn't reply.
Because I didn't know how to explain it.
The teacher continued speaking at the front—
something about deadlines and forms.
But the words didn't stay in my mind.
"…Sihoon."
I didn't realize I said his name out loud—
until he stopped writing.
He turned slightly.
"Yes?"
For a moment—
I forgot what I wanted to say.
"…Are you really not joining any club?" I asked.
It wasn't what I meant to say.
But it was easier.
He looked at me quietly.
"…I'll decide later."
That was all.
No explanation.
No question back.
I nodded slightly.
"…Okay."
He turned back again.
And continued writing.
The conversation ended—
before it even started.
I lowered my gaze to my notebook.
The page was still empty.
"…Why does it feel so difficult?"
I whispered to myself.
Not about the club.
But about him.
Because before—
talking to him was the easiest thing.
And now—
even simple words
felt out of place.
The bell rang again.
Class was over.
Students began to stand, talking about lunch and plans.
I stayed in my seat for a moment.
Watching as he packed his things.
For a second—
I thought—
maybe this time,
he would wait.
But he didn't.
He stood up—
and walked out with the others.
Just like yesterday.
I looked down again.
My fingers lightly tracing the edge of my notebook.
"…It's nothing."
I told myself again.
But even then—
it didn't feel like nothing.
It wasn't that he ignored me.
He was still there.
Still the same.
And yet—
I had never felt this far from him before.