'Ah, the sky is clear.'
As I say in English class, I lazily glanced at the windows which revealed the outside.
It was the second period of a Tuesday, meaning I had just come from Phys ed so I was a bit tired.
But I didn't get distracted for long and I soon began to pay attention to Mrs. Moriel's teaching.
Still, a few lingering thoughts slipped out.
'I wonder…what would the world be like if I didn't exist? Would anything change?'
My lips slightly quivered as I tried to prevent a grimace from appearing onto my face.
And then, a feeling of sorrow washed over me.
'Nah, nothing would change.'
In all the time I had spent living, I hadn't really changed or impacted anyone or anything.
If I never existed, everything would fundamentally be the same. That was the truth.
A very unfortunate truth.
'Self awareness is truly a curse now isn't it?'
Without giving those thoughts any further attention, I continued my studies.
**
"Elliot?" Nishimoya called my name.
"Yeah, what is it?" I replied.
Nishimoya and I sat in science class, taking notes on the lesson Mr. Bostav was teaching.
'Now that I think about it, isn't it kind of weird that Nishimoya and I have science together two days in a row? That's really odd.'
After having that momentary realization, I listened to what Nishimoya had to say.
"How likely do you think it would be for someone to get hit by a car twice?" Nishimoya asked.
I gave her a confused look.
"Um, well probably unlikely? Getting hit by a car isn't that uncommon but twice is definitely out of the ordinary. Wait…did you get hit by a car again?! That makes this the second time,
Nishimoya made an embarrassed expression.
"Actually…the third time. I didn't tell you the second time I got hit?
"What?! Why does this keep happening to you?"
Nishimoya shrugged and said, "I don't know."
I shook my head in disbelief.
"I'm somehow amazed and disappointed simultaneously. Congrats, you're quite the specimen Nishimoya," I commented humorously.
Nishimoya made an awkward smile before going back to focusing on our schoolwork.
I did the same.
I really didn't want to get yelled at again like the day before.
**
"Hey, Tristan," I said.
"If you say I don't know or ask me a stupid question again, I'll kill you," Tristan said in a monotone voice.
"Chill out. I have genuine questions this time," I said as a bead of sweat dripped down my face.
"What is it?" Tristan questioned.
"Why doesn't the earth get any heavier when we make a bunch of buildings?" I asked curiously.
Tristan looked up from his book to stare at me.
It was lunch so he probably assumed I was going to ask a dumb question like usual but I guess this question had some logic to it.
"Oh I think I know. All of the materials already existed on earth so it's not being added, just transformed. Think about the law of conservation of mass," Nishimoya chimed in.
My eyebrow twitched.
"Dammit! How the hell do you know everything? I asked Tristan specifically because you would've known the answer!" I explained as I slapped myself in the face.
"Oh, sorry," Nishimoya said apologetically.
I blankly looked at her for a few moments.
'Oh wait did she think I was serious? Crap, I'm such an idiot!'
"Wait no. Don't worry, I'm kidding," I explained in an attempt of reassurance.
"Oh. Okay then!" Nishimoya replied.
From there Nishimoya and I began to talk for a bit with Tristan joining in a couple of times.
But soon, I noticed something was wrong.
'Why isn't Soriel talking?'
Soriel had been sitting at the table with the rest of us but hadn't said much since the beginning of lunch. At most, she said a few sentences.
It was a bit unusual.
'Does she just not feel like talking today?'
Even though it wasn't a very drastic change, I still decided to speak out about it.
"Hey Soriel, you okay?" I asked casually.
Soriel looked towards me and nodded with a smile.
"Yes, I'm okay," She said.
"You sure?" I asked again.
"Yes," Soriel confirmed.
Soriel's smile was uplifting and quite reassuring so I felt that my worries were unfounded.
And soon, she began to speak up like normal again.
Yet, in my heart, a sliver of worry still lingered.
'Eh, it's nothing. I shouldn't rely on my gut too much, it's never helped me much.'
Even with those thoughts, my worry persisted.
Once lunch had ended, I resumed my other classes as usual.
But despite the fact my full attention was on the lessons, my unease didn't disappear.
It lasted all the way to the end of that school day.
Eventually though, it disappeared.
I had forgotten about it.
However, I wouldn't forget for long.