[Heraclitus, a famous Greek philosopher once stated that "No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man" It reminds that life is a constant change, everything flows forward, everything changes, some vanishes and some people stays. But, there are some people who clings to their past, unable to walk forward alongside the river of life and time, unable to look forward to what kind of event would unfold for their own. Some struggled to do so, yet they kept trying and trying. Most of the time, people succeed to do so and some... are unfortunate to bring the burden forward.]
Sebastian took a sip of his coffee before continuing to type on his laptop. It was around 3 in the morning, the neighboring apartments are silent, most of the windows are turned off. It seems like Sebastian was sitting on his seat for more than 3 hours already.
[Eurydice died on Orpheus which Orpheus did not take it for himself, his love for that girl was so immeasurable at the very least as to the point he even went to the underworld just to see her. A bard himself, venturing through the nightmares and souls that sings with songs of lost throughout the river of Styx. He soon meets Hades, the God of the Dead, and her queen, Persephone. Convincing them both with his songs of love and loss, they approved of Orpheus bringing her beloved to the land of the living with a condition. A condition of which Orpheus must bring his beloved, lead her upfront without looking back or at her face till they reach the land of the living.]
Sebastian gave a sigh as he kept typing on the laptop, an emotionless face and a deep sense of loneliness is obvious from his expressionless behavior.
[And as we know what happened. Orpheus looked back before they even reach the surface, trapping Eurydice forever in the Underworld. Although they soon get reunited at the Land of the Blessed after Orpheus died later on, we cannot ignore that Orpheus was also in denial in the story, he himself struggled moving forward, having the inability to accept any losses, struggling to face the unknown future. The myth also reminds us the struggle lies in wanting to regain what was lost rather than accepting the new reality, which later leads to most people being at lost-]
"And possibly leaving them broken for most or rest of their life." Sebastian pressed enter on the keyboard, he leaned back to the chair, relaxing himself as he look at the ceiling. Its been years since he graduated Highschool, now, he is now going for his Decree in Master of Law.
"Am I right? Yssa?" He said as he felt a presence behind his chair, a girl with a brownish long hair with a flower hairpin, in a white dress that makes her stunning. Yet the face is not visible due to the dim room.
"Did you eat? I cooked up your favorite curry." He gave a chuckle while looking at the Laptop and resting his back at the chair, his chuckle was slightly off as it felt like a void, somewhat expressionless. Going back to the question, the girl did not answer nor it moved.
"I'll assume you did. After all, you liked that dish when we were in the Philippines... It's been a while since we left that country, huh?" He chuckled once more as he turn his head towards the window. It was Mid-October now, slightly cold on his place. Yssa gave a faint sound of approval. "Mhm..."
"I wonder... How is Daniel doing? I heard he also went abroad... As an engineer if I remember correctly? Also Andrei, I saw his post online, he's with his fiancée, they are surely having the best of their time." He looked back at the laptop, his draft paused on the screen. He stood up and stretched his arms as he walks to the window. "Should we return to the Philippines and call everyone for a reunion on my semester break?" He asked Yssa while looking at the window.
"Maybe we should, Love." Yssa's answer to Sebastian. It was a faint voice, as if a whisper. Sebastian let out a whimper before letting out a faint chuckle as he touched the window with his palm.
"Love... It's been a while, huh?" A single tear fell from his eyes. Yssa remained silent as Sebastian looks at the window while reflecting to himself. "Maybe its time to face them, right?" Yssa ask Sebastian with a faint voice.
"Yeah, maybe its time to face them..." He made a chuckle, yet, now expressionless, full of blank and void as if no emotion was put into them. "Face reality..."
"Face... Reality?" Yssa asked back with a voice of confusion. She stepped forward, stepping towards Sebastian as she hugged him from the back. Sebastian felt some warm from the cuddle, yet, he also felt nostalgia from it, he forced himself to make a smile. "Yeah..."
"..." A moment of silence for the both of them. "Can you face me, Love?" Yssa asked gently. Sebastian hesitated for a moment, but he turned to face her. Yssa touched Sebastian's left cheek. "Why are you crying, love?" She said as Sebastian rest his left cheek to Yssa's hand, he was shedding tears while forcing a smile.
"I- I just can't overcome it." Sebastian's stutters as he is about to cry, he kept forcing a smile.
"Overcome what? Stress? I am here for you, Love." She said to him, trying to give Sebastian reassurance.
Sebastian became silent for a moment, although she is there, he kept shedding his tears, saddened and somewhat tired as it is obvious from his eye bugs and pale skin.
"Come on, Love. Stop being a crybaby, my Husband is one strong of a lawyer." She chuckled, although with a faint voice, as if a whisper.
Sebastian was not filled with stress or exhaustion from work. He was filled with something, more like a feeling of lost and depression.
"Although I can sense you, making me feel like you're here..." Yssa kept silent as Sebastian took a breath before continuing. "Although you're here giving me assurance..." He stood there as his hand was shaking, breaking in cold sweat, he was stuttering for the start before letting out of what he was about to say.
...
"I was never you Husband right? Love?" He said before the whole room drowning to silence for a moment.
...
"You're finally facing it, Love?" Yssa asked while keeping her hand on his left cheek, Sebastian tries to feel her hand, but as soon he was gonna grab her hand, his hand passed through.
"Although I can see you, hear you... The very truth still exist... You're not here. You're just the very fabric of the past I remembered about you. The White Dress, the white lily flower hairpin, it was from that day, that time when I felt that time stopped moving- the time I felt alive than the rest of my days..." Sebastian made a *Hic* sound as tears slid down his cheek.
"I'm slowly... Slowly! Forgetting your voice, slowly forgetting how you laugh and how you look! I just cling to the past of you. I just... Missed the old you..." He looked down at the floor, before looking at her. In his perspective her face was blurred, it explains why her voice was a faint whisper... It was fading from his mind.
"Last time I saw you was years ago during my 3rd year bachelor. You, in a majestic wedding gown, walking down the red carpet to the alter..." He gulped before continuing to speak, remembering the very past.
"As you get married to my very first friend, Daniel..." He forced himself to smile, trying to keep a facade. "You're just a hallucinations now, created by my own mind while trying to cope to this constricting life where I cling to the past. Where I crave for your presence! Where I isolate myself from everyone due to how broken I am!" His voice became louder within the room as he looked down.
"You were never here... but, I do wish you were, Alyssa... I do wish I was the one who was marrying you on that altar." He was in pain as he slowly faces the reality. The body of Yssa soon become transparent, the hands then lift his head to look at her face. Erasing the blur from her face as he sees the face of Yssa again, but, its the face from the past.
"Don't blame yourself, love. I know you're in pain, but, remember. You still have a future ahead." Yssa's voice fading away as Sebastian kept a look on her smiling face one last time. "Just... Face the reality slowly, you'll overcome everything. Don't harm yourself, love. Everything will be okay... Just remember-" Yssa says to him before fading away. "Despite everything, it'll be you as always." Yssa faded after a single blink of Sebastian.
Sebastian was close to breaking down, his hands shivering from the coldness of the room as the first drop of snow came down from the sky outside. Sebastian soon tries to compose himself, walking to the table as he drunk the coffee from the mug.
"Despite everything, it'll be me as always, huh? Yet... in the end, I was not the man." He gave a blank chuckle as he sat on the chair to continue his draft. As he was about to continue his work, a notification pop up from his notification tab, a message from someone.
[From Daniel Santiago: Are you free this semester break?]
-End of Prologue-