"Tommy, darling," Evelyn cooed, her arm wrapped tightly around an older, distinguished-looking man. "I'd like you to meet my sons. This is Charlie, Alan, and my grandson, Jake."
"Ah, there you are, boys," Tommy said with a warm, oblivious smile. "And this is my daughter, Olivia."
As Tommy's daughter stepped out from the hallway, the blood instantly drained from Charlie's face. His entire posture stiffened.
"Hello, Charlie," Olivia said, her voice dropping ten degrees.
"Hey there... stranger," Charlie replied, desperately trying to pretend they didn't know each other.
"You two know each other?" Tommy asked, noticing the sudden, suffocating tension in the room.
"I thought I knew him," Olivia said, with a double meaning.
"Oh, no," Evelyn muttered under her breath, realizing exactly what was happening. Her perfect evening was about to detonate. "Okay! Who'd like a drink? I would certainly like a drink. Alan, talk to Olivia. Charlie, come help me with the drinks," Evelyn ordered, practically dragging her eldest son across the living room by his collar.
"Alan was a cesarean, by the way," she added over her shoulder to Tommy.
"It wasn't medically necessary. She just had a function." Said Alan
Left alone with the awkward silence, Jake decided to step up and ease the burden of the conversation off his sometimes socially inept father. "So, Tommy, what business are you in?"
"Oh, I'm an architect," Tommy said, smiling happily to change the subject. "I own my own firm."
As Tommy started talking about commercial zoning, Jake noticed that Olivia wasn't paying a single ounce of attention to the conversation.
She was just staring straight across the room at his uncle. If looks could kill, Charlie would already be in the county morgue.
"You boys don't know how lucky you are to have a mother like Evelyn," Tommy sighed affectionately. "She is the warmest, most affectionate, giving woman I've ever known."
"That's my Mom," Alan said, his voice laced with a thick, heavy sarcasm that completely flew over Tommy's head.
"She's just the gift that keeps on giving," Jake added dryly.
"Here we are!" Evelyn announced loudly, marching back over with a tray of cocktails.
"Ah, there's my little karaoke cupcake," Tommy beamed.
Evelyn flushed, playfully swatting him on the chest. "Oh, Tommy, you are not telling that story!"
"We took one of those little luxury cruises up to the Alaskan glaciers," Evelyn explained to the boys. "I didn't quite see the point of it all, but during the evening, there was a karaoke competition. And as you know, your mother is no stranger to the stage."
"Yes, Mom, I know," Alan said.
"Excuse me," Olivia interrupted abruptly. She left the group and marched straight toward the bar where Charlie was hiding.
"Uh, anyway," Evelyn continued, her voice rising an octave in panic as she tried to distract everyone. "You know how I always sing These Boots Are Made for Walkin' with my little dance routine..."
"I know, Mom. I have it on my wedding video," Alan muttered bitterly.
"So, I'm zipping up my boots, I'm about to go on stage, when this hausfrau from tone-deaf Texas gets up and starts singing my song!"
Well, I think you can imagine how unhappy I was—"
Evelyn's story was entirely drowned out by the sudden, vicious bickering erupting from the bar.
Jake desperately tried not to smile. He bit his lower lip and clamped a hand over his mouth to hide his amusement.
"So... um, uh, I sidled up to the woman, and—and very smoothly turned it into a duet, when suddenly she starts pushing me—!" Evelyn shouted, desperately trying to ignore the chaos.
"You said I was very special to you!" Olivia yelled, her voice echoing through the house.
"You were!" Charlie defended himself, holding his hands up.
"Yeah? Me and three other women, you absolute pig!" Olivia fired back.
"I said you were special, not unique!" Charlie argued, genuinely acting as if he didn't understand what the problem was.
"Drop dead, you bastard," Olivia snarled. With a swift flick of her wrist, she threw her entire martini squarely into Charlie's face. She turned on her heel and stormed toward the front door.
"Excuse me," Tommy said to the group, completely bewildered. He set his drink down and hurried after his furious daughter.
The front door slammed shut.
Evelyn stood frozen in the middle of her living room, staring at her dripping, soaking-wet eldest son.
Jake fully turned his head away, covering his mouth with both hands as his shoulders shook with silent laughter.
"In my defense..." Charlie paused, looking at his mother's murderous expression. "...ah, screw it." He picked up a fresh glass of scotch and took a long drink.
...
November quickly rolled around. Jake, finding himself bored on a Friday afternoon, came up with a brilliant idea.
"What if we go to Vegas?"
Charlie looked up from his racing form. "Vegas?"
"Yeah, you know. In Nevada."
"I know where it is, kid. Why do you want to go to Vegas right now?" Charlie asked.
"Because it's the first week of November," Jake explained. "The brutal summer heat is finally gone, so it's actually comfortable outside. Plus, it's the sweet spot right before the Thanksgiving and holiday tourist rush, so the hotel rates are heavily discounted, the casinos are less crowded, and the big heavyweight boxing matches are coming up. It's the perfect time."
Charlie lowered his newspaper, impressed by the kid's logic. "Well... I never say no to Las Vegas, baby."
"Awesome. I could invite Malcolm and his family to come with us. I can pay for our share with my savings," Jake offered.
"Oh, no way. Put your piggy bank away. Let me pay for everything," Charlie insisted, waving a hand. Thanks to Jake's highly "lucky" sports predictions over the last few weeks, Charlie had made a small fortune with his bookie. Treating the kid and his friends was the least he could do.
Alan walked into the room just in time to hear the end of the conversation. "Oh, thank you so much, Charlie! That's incredibly generous of you."
Charlie looked at his brother, his expression instantly going flat. "Oh, I'm not paying for you." He raised his newspaper back up.
Alan stopped dead in his tracks. "What?! You're willing to pay for a whole family you don't even know, but you won't pay for your own brother? That's unbelievable!"
"You want to know what's unbelievable?" Charlie shot back. "That I've let you stay in my house for two months."
"It's barely been a month!" Alan corrected defensively. "And once Judith and I reconcile, I'll be out of your hair completely!"
Charlie let out a loud, mocking laugh. "Yeah, right. That's gonna happen."
"What does that mean?" Alan demanded, clearly hit in a very sore, vulnerable spot.
Charlie sighed, rubbing his temples to stave off the impending headache. He just wanted to read his racing form in peace. "Alright, fine. I'll pay for your room. Just stop busting my eardrums and let me read in peace."
Alan blinked, his righteous indignation instantly fading. "Well... thank you." He clearly wanted to press Charlie on the Judith comment, but he wisely decided to keep his mouth shut. A free trip to Vegas was a free trip to Vegas after all.