We bolted out into the maze out of this stupid ass forest again. Tripping on sticks and logs, maybe the occasional fox here or there.
"Hey dipshit!" Andrew yelled while panting "where are we running to?!"
"Where do you think, Sherlock. The Boateng house obviously!" I yelled back.
Ethan, like the clumsy fuck he is, trips on the fifth fox we've seen. Eating shit in the process.
We both just start cackling like crazy. Ethan got so mad he just started crying. The more I look at him, he just looks more like a tomboy.
Anyway.. Somehow, someway, we make it out of there. Apparently Andrew has experience with this forest, but not Arthur. That fucking loser.
"Damn, I hate that forest," Ethan said, still with dirt on his face.
"Why do you guys even live there?" I added on.
"We don't have to pay rent, obviously" Andrew responded with some attitude.
We both ignore him and start the predator manhunt. You ready? I hope.
"Where does google maps say the house is?" I say.
"Hold on a minute damn" Ethan shoots back while trying to figure out his own goddamn password.
"Are we so deadass.." I say while wanting to strangle this dude.
"What bro I'm just nervous right now.." Ethan says while shaking a tiny bit.
"Why.." Andrew asks.
"Is it because of what lil' Arthur said?" I add.
"No not that, I haven't taken my benzos" Ethan responds.
'What the hell are benzos?" we both ask in unison.
"Anti-anxiety medication"
"Damn.." I say now feeling bad, just a little though.
His dumbass finally opened his phone, but we had to wait an hour because he locked himself out from guessing too many times.
I said that the Boateng family house was about a 3 hour walk from where we were.
"Damn, long walk ahead I guess" Andrew sighed.
"Why don't we just steal some Randoms' car" I wonder "it would be a 15 minute drive if we do".
"But that's illegal, and I'm too skinny for jail" Ethan retorted.
"Oh don't be such a wuss, we won't get caught if we're sneaky about it" I clap back.
"Aight, let's head off already" Andrew demanded as he walked away from the both of us, having to jog to catch up with him.
You know. Whenever I walk through a promenade, It feels so koozie and light on my chest, like I don't have to worry about anything.
The place was so lively, there were people walking around and laughing with their families. Having a good time with people who care about them. I hate seeing happy-go-lucky things like that.
Why should they be allowed to be happy while people like us are seen as disgusting afterthoughts. It sickens me to see people without caring of whatever others around them are going through. If you had to walk in the shoes of someone like me for even a day. You'd think twice about flaunting your happiness.
Whoa there.. Sorry about the rant it's just, stuff like that just sends me over the edge sometimes.
Any who, Ethan's beaming from ear to ear just from the sight of this.
"Hey Guys!" Ethan shouts enthusiastically "you think that we could maybe get some sweets one the way"
"Neither of us have any money on us" Me and Andrew say together.
Ethan sulks like the annoying bastard he is. We get to this beautiful plaza. There were so many places to try, I almost lost my cool, but we got a job to do. So we hard pivot, just to the dismay of Ethan. He tried to run away from the trio of doom, but Andrew grabbed his shirt and dragged him to the mission.
"How much further do we have to go?" Ethan whined while his stomach was growling.
"We got.. Another 2 hours and 30 minutes" Andrew said, annoyed.
After I heard that, I knew this just could go on for any longer. I mean, we were all dying from hunger by now. So I sneak away from them and see if I can find a sweet ride.
I walk maybe 2 to 3 meters away, somehow without noticing. When I see this absolutely crazy 2026 Bercedes-Menz C 600. I immediately got erect 'cause that shit was clean.
I looked inside of that thing and noticed the keys just laying on the car seat, other dude must've been a doofus to mess something like this up.
After elbowing the glass of the car and shattering it. The thing started going off, getting the attention of the mortified Ethan and Andrew.
"What the fuck are you doing you idiot!" Ethan screamed at me.
I signal then you hop in, because if they stay here, their asses are gonna get arrested. They reluctantly get in the car, and we drive off to the Boateng family home.
"You Idiot!" Ethan screams at me "what do you want the police to hunt you down"
"Trust me bro, you're not mainly enough to go to prison, your butthole will not be the same" Andrew added on, clearly not giving to shits about the situation.
"What, you know a guy?" I ask.
"Man I'm the guy bro, I couldn't sit down for a month after that"
Me and Ethan look at each other in horror.
"What in the hell.."
…
Andrew snickers a little bit.
"Dumbass really thought I was telling the truth," Andrew giggled.
"Oh fuck you" we both say while also trying not to laugh, I'm guessing we were fried at that moment because looking back, it really wasn't that funny.
WE almost got to the place, but Ethan said he had to pee. So we stopped at the nearest gas station, and all went in because I haven't peed since the hospital.
"You guys don't have to follow me here.." Ethan said with caution.
"Don't tell you got a shrimp dick bro" I tease Ethan, If only I knew sooner.
So we reluctantly left him alone with his lil meat and decided to get some sour candy before leaving. As we were driving off and eating our candy, Ethan began to start rethinking things again.
"Do you guys think that this is even a good idea to begin with, I mean we're just kids up against grown ass men" he says.
"dude , most of them are probably old as shit, just wasting away. We would be doing a service to be honest" I responded.
"I guess.." the car becomes awfully quiet, the awkwardness is building up in this cramped car. At some point I just can't take it anymore. So I speed up just enough for them to notice.
"Dude, what the fuck?!" they both yell "at this rate you're gonna get us killed!"
"At least it ain't awkward anymore, right?"
"I-i guess, bu-"
"Hushh… little one…" I put a finger over Ethan's lips. He goes all silent with this weird flustered expression. That shit kinda weirded me out, so I moved away quickly.
I know what I'm doing anyway, I've been stealing cars since I was 8" I say while full throttling this hoe. The ride was going smoothly, we were having fun, I think? A dunno about the other two, they looked like shit was about to fly out of their pants.
It was getting pretty hard to focus on the road while they were screaming like pussies in the back seat. So I pulled over for halftime. Also, so I can eat my delicious candy from the gas station.
"Hey ! you want some?" I ask while shoving the bag in Ethan's face.
"I think I'm *hack gonna be sick.." Ethan says while looking like a pea.
"Oh don't be such a wuss. You need to eat anyway, look at you.." I responded to Ethan with, while staring with disgust at the throw up on the floor.
"Where the hell even are we?" Andrew ponders.
"I dunno, probably just some old house, it looks like no one's in there anyway" I explain.
Wait, just before we continue. I know I suck at describing things, but let me set this beautiful, surreal stage just so you have an idea of the beauty I was looking at.
So there was this dirt pathway leading to the wooden house. It looked like it was laid out recently. There were flowers that were laid out in some sort of polychromatic sequence.
There is a battered up porch, with some spider webs laying around in the railing. A rocking chair was also sitting in a corner, just cucking the whole world.
By the way, it looked like the house was a two story, with an attic as well.
Aight, that's all, this explanation is getting boring. You can use your imagination for the rest. Maybe the whole thing was covered with drawings of dildos and you will never know.
"Let's go set up camp here and think of a plan" I say while walking inside.
"Wait.. We didn't have a plan yet! We were just gonna wing it and see what happens!!" Ethan yells in frustration. I tell him to shut up so that we don't attract any more attention.
"Hey.. what if there's some crackhead lurking in there" Andrew says two feet behind me.
"Well if you shut up like Ethan, then maybe we'll be fine" I say while giving him a dirty look.
Then, we hear a creak coming from up the stairs.
"T-that could be a mouse or something" I say while genuinely shitting my pants.
Then another, which sounded a lot closer than the first one.
"Oh god.." we all say while shaking violently
We try to get closer to the noise, without provoking whatever's making it. Then I hear Ethan's butch ass tripping on straight air like some bum.
"Oh my god.. This guy sucks.." I think out loud to myself, just loud enough for retard over there to hear. He then flips me off like I was the one who ruined my plan.
"Hey dipshits! Look" Andrew whispers at us while pointing at the creepiest thing I've ever seen. It looked so pale and wrinkly. Then I realize that it's just some old homeless guy.
A sigh of relief washes over my face, and then horror falls shortly after as the crackhead I was worrying about, was a flight of stairs away.
"Yo, you're friendly, right?" I yell at Voldemort lookin' ass, he gives me this "you serious.." expression before starting to speak.
"Could you guys leave me alone.." he says with the raspiest voice known to mankind.
Ethan and Andrew immediately nod their heads and begin the walk out of their, but I wasn't letting this crusty old fuck take our camping spot. So I grab their hands and yank them back inside, with Andrew stumbling a little and Ethan eating shit again.
"Yo, this is our place now so you gotta skedaddle. Or else ANDREWS gonna beat your ass"
Andrew looks at me with horror and points to himself, mouthing "me?!". I nod my head, what makes you think I'm gonna get my hands dirty.
"Look man, I don't want to fight right now. You guys can leave and we won't have any problems" the old guy says.
I cross my arms, 'cause no way this guy is some sort of karate ninja. Just in case though, I gotta make sure my guard is up at all times.
I tip-toe my way to the stairs, and I make sure to do it really slowly. When I say slowly, I mean that Andrew was falling asleep before I even touched the railing.
As I was about to put my left foot on the first step, all of a sudden the old guy whips out a Glock 19. Pointing directly at my forehead with scary accuracy.
So like a normal person, I freeze up. Shit leaked out my pants a little but I got more things to worry about right now.
"I told you guys to leave, but you just had to be little assholes about it, so I'm gonna blow your brains out" the old guys snarled.
We all comically gulp. I mean, this might be the end of my story. What the fuck are you guys gonna read now?! Percy Jackson?!! Screw that guy!"
"Come. here." the old fart says calmly, which sends a shiver down my spine. I comply like a bitch and walk up the flight of stairs, making it two steps away from him. I could feel the warm and smelly breath, hitting my face every two seconds or so.
"What the hell are you gonna do to us?!" I say while trembling in fear.
"Not us. Only you.." he says sinisterly.
He signals with his gun to come with him into one of the rooms on the second floor.
"You two can leave, don't worry about your friend over here" he says while waving them off.
"This room. In. now." he says while pointing the gun at the door. I walk in there with sweat dripping down my face and onto the cold wooden floor.
"You know" the old guy begins to say while coughing up some blood, I think. "Kids like you think that they can do whatever they want without consequence. Well that ends today. Now, tell me your name."
"Oh what- u-uhm.. Lukas Ludo. Now what do you want from me?" I say, trying to act though, I could tell that he was not buying it one bit.
"Your consequence.. Is going to be helping me finish the job with that shitty family that live a little way away from here"
"Wait hold on.. We were about to do the same thing tomorrow."
"Hold on really, well I guess I don't gotta threaten you then, I hope you don't take this interaction personally.."
He lowers the gun and puts it back in his pants like some sorta hood rat.
"so , we're cool?"
"Yeah sure bro"
I dapped him up perfectly, didn't know anyone that old could be so cool. Like, I looked behind me, and there was just a big ass fleshlight, just sitting there. Didn't even look like it was used.
"So what's your guy's plan for this?" old man Robert told me, his name is Robert. I asked him in between these two convo's
"Dunno.." I say while shrugging my soldiers.
"So, you were just gonna go in there with no plan and get your shit blown clean off. You do realize how rich and powerful these guys are, right?" Robert says while knowing damn well the answer.
"Yep" I seal the deal, he looks like a blood vessel is about to burst out of his head.
"OKAY.. If you guys are gonna do this, you gotta get a plan going. By the way, could you invite those other two back, they need to be here for this"
"What 'chu need us for you old fuck" Ethan pops out of the corner. We both jumped a little from the surprise.
"Alright then, sit down, both of you. We need to come up with a plan.
"Okay!" Ethan says while plopping down right next to me.
"Okay, let's get this shit started.." We all laugh maniacally.