Following Rias into Fushimi Inari Taisha, one of Kyoto's top ten tourist attractions, Cid instinctively glanced at Kanade beside him.
Good. Maybe because he'd reminded her several times along the way, Kanade finally wasn't staring around like some clueless country bumpkin. Instead, she wore a calm expression, as though she'd seen it all before.
"Something feels a little strange."
Rias lightly gritted her teeth and frowned as she surveyed their surroundings, murmuring uncertainly.
"Is something wrong?"
Noticing Rias's expression, Cid instinctively looked around as well. Then, remembering that he couldn't detect anything anyway, he gave up on trying to prove his investigative abilities and simply asked her.
"No. It's just that compared to the last few times I came here, it's a little... too quiet."
She was right. They could still hear a few voices coming from somewhere in the distance, but for a famous tourist attraction, wasn't it far too quiet?
There was probably an ambush!
The instant Cid realized what Rias found strange, he was about to step forward, explain the danger, and suggest that all six of them immediately make a run for it.
Before he could speak, however, an unexpected voice cut in.
"It's probably because so much has been happening in the world lately that people don't have time to come sightseeing."
Kanade, you're as dumb as a pig.
It was precisely because so much had been happening lately that people would be running to churches, temples, Taoist shrines, and places like this for peace of mind.
Cid cast a contemptuous glance at Kanade, who looked rather pleased with herself after arriving at such an absurd conclusion, then stepped forward.
"I think Kanade makes a very good point. This is the headquarters of Fushimi Inari Shrine, after all. Even if someone on the level of Shadow or Great Red came here, I'm sure the Inari God would personally intervene and suppress them all!"
Cid immediately endorsed Kanade's opinion, tossing every bit of slander he'd just directed at her out of his mind as he put on a confident smile.
"Hmph, hmph. It must be because the Church recently opened a church in Kyoto, so everyone has started going there instead. Naturally, that means the local Gods have fewer believers now."
Irina Shidou chuckled smugly, completely failing to notice anything strange and casually dumping all the blame on the newly opened church.
Cid could only admire her.
Even someone with as little emotional intelligence as him knew that when you were standing on someone else's turf, you should at least say a few nice things about them.
And if the other side couldn't live up to his praise and ended up looking like a clown... what did that have to do with him?
These days, you just enjoyed today and worried about tomorrow when it came. Talk big now and worry about backing it up later.
"So it really was a trap. And here we were planning to apologize and compensate them. Hmph. A mere heretical God. If they have the guts to attack us, then let them come... Cid, stay behind me when it happens. I'll protect you."
Unlike the smug Irina Shidou, Xenovia still had the distress signal Irina had mentioned on her mind. With murderous intent practically radiating from her body, she made it clear that she feared nothing.
She had obviously decided this place was enemy territory. In her mind, the local faction had lost believers, so they'd deliberately lured the Church here to wipe them out.
At this point, she'd abandoned all thought of explaining anything and was already preparing to fight her way out.
Cid looked left and right.
Whether it was the extras or the idiot duo, regardless of whatever strange conclusions they'd reached, all of them were in favor of going farther inside.
So Cid turned his gaze toward Souna Shitori.
"Xenovia, no matter what the local factions in Kyoto are like, there's no way they'd go to war with Heaven over something like that."
"Exactly. I'm sure they'd be happy to gain more believers, but they shouldn't have the courage to start a war with us over it."
Souna Shitori and Irina Shidou took turns calming the battle-ready Xenovia.
An exhausted look appeared on Souna Shitori's face. After being interrupted by the others like this, she no longer had the energy to wonder whether something might actually be wrong.
Compared to the possibility of two factions going to war and dragging them into it, Rias's vague unease suddenly seemed trivial.
Under the influence of the group, even Rias accepted the explanation and enthusiastically resumed acting as their guide.
Cid watched all of this coldly and sneered.
Classic.
Absolutely classic.
Was nothing really going to happen?
Of course something was going to happen!
The protagonist senses something is wrong. Two extras talk her out of her suspicions. An idiot distracts the group's only strategist.
It was the most textbook plot imaginable.
The flags had already been planted. How could nothing happen now?
Thank you, Kanade. Without you, I might not have been able to properly play the role of an extra.
Thinking this, Cid gave Kanade a grateful, approving look.
Kanade noticed and responded with a baffled expression that clearly said, What's wrong with you?
...
Fine. She wasn't worth sympathizing with.
When the fighting started, he'd kick her out first and use her as a scapegoat.
Cid looked away and began enjoying the calm before the storm.
At the very least, he had to act like a proper extra.
"This is where people worship the Inari God. Cid, Kanade, you two can go pay your respects. Souna Shitori and I won't. You already know what we are, after all."
"If I may ask, what would happen if you and Souna Shitori actually worshipped here, Rias-senpai? Would you get a headache?"
"It wouldn't give us a headache. Reading the Bible is what does that. The problem is that if we did it without notifying them beforehand, we might end up fighting. But going all the way to another faction just to inform them about something like this..."
"Oh, I see."
Having satisfied his curiosity, Cid decided to send Kanade ahead first to test the waters. He had no interest in pointlessly asking whether Irina Shidou and Xenovia would be joining them.
With Rias guiding her, Kanade completed the worship ritual without any trouble. After clapping her hands twice, she stepped aside and gave Cid her place.
Cid walked forward.
First, he stamped the ground twice to make sure there wasn't some huge pit hidden underneath.
Then he looked up at the shrine roof to confirm that no cage or giant net was waiting to drop on him from above.
Kanade had also made it through safely.
Deciding there probably wasn't any danger, Cid finally looked at the shrine in front of him and slowly closed his eyes.
During his occasional walks, Cid sometimes ran into actual figures from mythology, so he wasn't particularly interested in worshipping Gods.
Still... well, he could at least pretend the other side had the power to grant wishes.
[Please make the world a little more peaceful. If that's too much to ask, at least make people a little more normal. It's not like I dislike things this way, but the problem is, I want to destroy the world too. Everyone else doing it first is making things really awkward for me. Please. Just let me destroy the world once.]
After finishing his wish, Cid opened his eyes.
Before he could even bring his hands together and clap twice, he saw a barrier appear right in front of him, enveloping the entire shrine.
"..."
Cid silently turned around.
Rias and the others had also been trapped inside the barrier. Weapons in hand, they tensely watched the creatures that had appeared around them at some point.
Some had black wings and bird heads. Others were Beastmen with fox ears protruding from their heads...
No, sorry.
By the local terminology, they should be called Youkai.
Cid looked around at the numerous Youkai who had clearly surrounded them, then turned back toward the shrine of the Inari God.
His silent expression gradually turned into one of contempt.
He hadn't seriously expected the other side to grant his wish. Making a wish was mostly about giving yourself some peace of mind.
But getting slapped in the face immediately after making one?
A God who couldn't even provide that much peace of mind...
What good were you?
Cid separated his half-clasped hands and raised both middle fingers toward the shrine.
Useless piece of trash.
Youkai were running rampant right inside your own shrine.
How embarrassing could you possibly be?
"Hey! How dare you show such disrespect toward the Inari God!?"
The sudden voice beside him startled Cid.
Just as he thought someone had caught him committing blasphemy, he realized...
The voice didn't seem to be directed at him.
Cid quickly changed his hand gesture and looked toward the source of the voice.
A shrine maiden wearing a fox mask was furiously pointing at...
Kanade?
Kanade, who had one middle finger raised toward the shrine?
...
Kanade, I love you.
You really are my one and only scapegoat.
You've saved me from disaster time and time again. Until the day you die, I swear I won't even consider looking for a second scapegoat.
While Cid was deeply moved, Kanade was sweating profusely.
The fox priestess's accusation had drawn everyone's attention toward her. Feeling the intense killing intent from the other side, Kanade instinctively took several steps toward Cid, pulled him closer, and hid behind him.
"Cid, save me!"
"Don't turn this around on me, you bastard!"
Cid's eye twitched.
Aside from a few priests who were still glaring murderously at Kanade, everyone else had already prepared for battle.
"Cid, stop messing around."
"Okay, Rias."
Hearing Rias quietly stop him, Cid lost interest in continuing his struggle with Kanade and simply joined the others, preparing to flee if necessary.
"What are you Youkai trying to do?"
Seeing Cid obediently listen to her and stop fooling around, Rias breathed a sigh of relief while feeling secretly pleased.
But this wasn't the time to think about romance.
She turned toward the Youkai surrounding them, her expression becoming serious as she sternly demanded an answer.
"I am Rias of the House of Gremory, an Underworld Devil. Are you planning to attack us? Do you intend to go to war with us?"
At her words, several of the Youkai surrounding Rias and the others showed signs of fear.
They were only following orders, after all. They certainly didn't have the courage to shoulder the consequences of starting a war between two factions, even if war was only a possibility.
"We don't want a war. If you're willing to let us leave and provide a reasonable explanation afterward, then we can pretend none of this ever happened. The heir to the House of Sitri beside me can serve as a witness."
"Yes. I am Souna Shitori of the House of Sitri, younger sister of Leviathan, the current Devil Leader. If you're willing to let us leave, we can treat this as though it never happened."
Hearing herself mentioned, Souna Shitori immediately responded and backed Rias up.
"Why don't we just fight them? They're only a bunch of weaklings anyway."
Holding the recovered Excalibur Destruction, Xenovia looked at the surrounding Youkai with open disdain.
She'd said from the beginning that this was a conspiracy by another faction.
At this point, there was no reason to bother with negotiations. Fighting their way through was clearly the best option.
"I don't mind fighting either, but if it isn't necessary, I'd rather not cause trouble for the priests back at the Church."
Powerful light energy gathered in Irina Shidou's hand, taking the form of a mimicked Holy Sword.
Even she was starting to get a headache.
Had she really fallen into a trap?
"Ah, look..."
The other five followed Cid's pointing finger.
The many Youkai surrounding them had parted, opening a path.
At the far end stood a small girl dressed as a shrine maiden. With a gloomy expression and two guards protecting her at either side, she walked toward them along the path the Youkai had opened.
How should he put it?
She clearly looked like an adorable little girl. Her brilliant blonde hair and golden eyes were especially striking, and the cute fox ears and fox tail were definite bonuses.
But for some reason, Cid couldn't shake the feeling that she was making some kind of noise.
Wait.
It wasn't just her...
Cid suddenly realized that the two guards he'd casually glanced past earlier looked strangely familiar.
He turned his gaze back toward them.
Their watchful eyes met his.
Then...
All three of them widened their eyes at the same time.
"Hand over Mother, and I'll let you leave!"
The moment the little blonde girl appeared, she angrily pointed at Cid and the others and shouted something that made no sense to them.
"What do you mean, 'Mother'? Who are you?"
Straightforward as ever, Xenovia apparently had no awareness whatsoever that they were surrounded and immediately responded with provocation.
Irina Shidou had dragged her here in a hurry after receiving a distress signal. Then they'd encountered Devils but hadn't gotten the chance to start fighting.
Xenovia had been bottling up her frustration for a while now and was practically hoping for a battle.
"You rude outsiders. My mother is the person you kidnapped."
There it was!
Cid smiled in relief.
No one had insulted Kanade even once along the way, so he'd almost started wondering whether regional prejudice had disappeared.
"Kidnapped? I understand now. Xenovia was actually right. You must have kidnapped one of the Lord's believers to lure us here and wipe us out, then planned to use this excuse to start a war with us."
"Huh? What are you talking about!?"
Now it was the little blonde girl's turn to look utterly confused.
But the idiot duo had already gathered a wealth of "evidence" and uncovered the "truth."
They simply raised their swords with solemn expressions.
"In other words, you want a fight. Fine. We don't mind fighting you heretics."
The moment Xenovia finished speaking, the Holy Sword in her hand erupted with sacred light.
She swung it through the air, leaving a glowing trail as the blade slashed toward the nearest Youkai.
As warriors who fought on the front lines, Xenovia and Irina Shidou might not be particularly flexible thinkers, but they certainly weren't lacking in fighting spirit.
Irina Shidou and Xenovia immediately engaged the enemy.
That left Rias and Souna Shitori with no choice but to join in as well.
They might not have wanted to fight, but they hadn't lost their minds badly enough to turn on their own side and suddenly distance themselves from the Church duo in the middle of battle.
And so, the fight began for no apparent reason.
They had been surrounded for no apparent reason.
They had exchanged incomprehensible accusations for no apparent reason.
And now, for no apparent reason, everyone was fighting.
Rias and Souna Shitori still hadn't figured out what was happening.
In fact, there probably wasn't a single person currently fighting who understood what was going on.
But Cid did.
"I hate you, Cid-kun!"
Cid dodged Kanade's attack, then countered by kicking her squarely in the butt, sending his scapegoat out to take the heat while he quietly slipped away.
And at that moment, he understood everything.
It was happening again.
The thing he hated most.
Both sides talking completely past each other.
Both sides possessing inexplicable confidence in their own conclusions.
Their negative brainwaves somehow synchronizing perfectly.
Then the idiots initiated the fight and dragged all the smarter people into a battle before anyone could properly explain anything.
There seriously wasn't a single normal person here.
As Cid lamented this, he silently cursed the Inari God a few more times.
It couldn't make the world more peaceful.
It couldn't even make people act a little more normal.
What a useless God.
He'd beat it up someday.
"Senpai, why are you here...?"
The voice behind him made Cid turn around.
Correction.
It wasn't that he'd successfully slipped away.
He had ended up face-to-face with the little blonde girl.
***
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