I was on the patrol when I saw a woman swaying throughout the crowd, almost like she was doing something.
As she went past me I felt a little hand in my pocket, my money pocket to be exact.
'Really smooth with it, quirk or skill?'
I grabbed her hand and pulled down.
She tumbled down and hit the floor.
"Criminal caught. That's good enough for today."
It was nearing tea time so I wanted to get something to eat.
"Haven't caught me yet!"
She started to run away.
'That's ballsy…'
I vanished from her sight as she looked back, she had only made it five metres which was still within my striking range.
"Chop." I said in a flat tone before karate chopping her neck.
She was still turning around since I was infront of her and took a tumble.
"I should have something with meat tonight."
My phone dinged, it was a message from Nagi.
"Want to get something to eat? You're paying!"
'I am rich so I don't blame him.'
The police arrived and then I went to find Nagi.
He was at a bar.
"Are you trying to get arrested?"
"Huh… wha? Blitzey Blitzy!" He slurred from his stool at the counter.
'It only took me 10 minutes to get here, and he's already this drunk? And there's no way he's this much of a lightweight…'
The bartender leaned towards me.
"Are you the one picking up his bill?"
"Yeah, and get me a pint of whatever he had too."
I took the stool next to Nagi and flicked him on the head.
"Can you hold a conversation? Or are you going to keep acting?
He immediately straightened up.
"How was my acting?"
"It'd work well enough on most." I thanked the bartender for my drink.
It was alright, I didn't even know the name of it.
"Cool, wanna know why I called you here?"
"Do you need a reason?"
I looked at the TV intently. It was displaying predicted rankings for heroes.
All Might was number 1 of course.
"Do you know any dating advice man?"
I nearly choked on my drink.
"Eh? I've actually never been in a relationship before."
'Geez what am I doing, 2 lives and time travel yet I haven't done anything close to that…'
I was deep in thought.
"I need a gift idea, for my 1 year anniversary in 5 days."
"5 days? Cutting it close… can't you just read their mind?"
"She doesn't like it when I do that…"
"No shit, so just don't get caught."
He chugged a bit more of his drink.
"She knows man, she knows…"
"Well I don't know her do I? Why you asking me?"
He sighed.
"Tut tut tut. Is this not what friends are for? Come on man, throw some shit at the wall and hope it sticks."
"Flowers?"
"Haaaah. I regret asking you."
"Ask your other friends then."
"They have actual jobs, so no."
'Ouch.'
I ordered some nachos.
'Weird for a bar too have…'
"Maybe… maybe something that she likes?"
"GODDAMMIT!" He slammed the counter only to reel back in pain.
"OW!!"
"I was just joking dude, calm down."
"Tsk. Gimme something good."
"You thought about marriage?"
"Not the time, I've got a better idea for that."
"Hmmm."
I stroked my nonexistent beard.
"A spa trip?"
"Oh my-. Wait a minute, that's a good idea…"
He fell deep into thought.
'Ooh! My nachos! That was fast.'
"Yummers."
The outing ended 15 minutes later, I had offered to pay for the trip but was declined.
After saying goodbye my stomach grumbled.
"Ah. Nachos wasn't enough."
—Rankings Reveal—
The rankings had been revealed. All Might was first, as always.
'Deserves it though.'
He had started working with a sidekick recently, or was planning too. I think they already started.
'Nighteye, from what I remember… something to do with future sight. They kept details under lock and key, no form of knowledge about his quirk other than those he entrusts the knowledge with.'
He was a smart man, there was no digital or physical record of his quirk. Even the authorities had scrubbed it clean.
I kept scrolling through the results until I saw my name.
Whoop whoop! I had reached the top 100.
I was sitting pretty at rank 97.
'I expected around 160, not this high…'
After scrolling through streamer reactions and slander I decided to make a social media account.
My first video was a uncut full vod of an entire days patrolling. I added 3 more after that.
The channel name was Blitzen.
Creative indeed, but what else would I call it.
'Now I can delete that from storage and have it online if I need to access it.'
Sure there were lots of other ways to do so, but who cares. I want to see if this format gets any kind of traction.
No hashtags, no fancy thumbnail, literal nothing burger.
'Most patrols are just me buying groceries anyway, no one's gonna care about this.'
My phone rang as I got a call from Nagi.
"Na-"
"TOP 100??! I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST A NEPO BABY WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO?! HOW ELSE DOES YOUR PATROL PLAN AND INSANE AMOUNT OF MONEY MAKE SENSE IF NOT?!? ARE YOU JUST A HERO FOR FUN OR SOMETHING?!?"
"Yeah basically, I got nothing better to do other than invest so why wouldn't I be a hero for fun?"
…
"Tsk whatever man, were you at least born rich?"
"I was actually abandoned on the doorstep of an orphanage when I was born."
In the background I could hear a woman shouting.
"RYUU SHUT YO ASS UP OR IMA MAKE YOU SLEEP ON THE COUCH!"
'Hah, someone's in trouble.'
"I don't wanna hear you talking fool."
"You can do that through the phone?"
"Nah I'm just a genius."
"Hmmm, beg to differ."
He muted his mic for some reason.
After 10 seconds he unmuted.
"Hello~ is this Nagi's friend?" A female voice came out.
"Dang Nagi. You got a split personality and can do voice impressions."
"Huh?" Clearly she was confused.
Out of the background I heard Nagi.
"You just said some stupid shit didn't you Blitz."
"Shut it." The woman said.
She then cleared her throat.
"Hello, I'm Nagi's girlfriend. He's said a lot about you."
"Only great things I hope."
"I guess you could say that… how about I meet you? If you have a girlfriend then it could be a double date!"
"I don't mind, I ain't got a girlfriend though."
"Great! I'll sort everything out, does next Tuesday night work for you."
"Yeah. Should be fine, unless the job gets in the way."
"Okay okay, see you then."
"See you."
She hung up.
'Commanding woman you got ther Nagi, I respect it.'
A/N: 97th hmmm. Hasn't done anything great but his entire nearby community knows him, he literally lowered crime rates every time he went to buy groceries.
I've got like 10 ideas left in me before making this day completed. It's nearly over, I can be free…