"Did you call?" Egrer asked, entering the empty classroom after curfew. Lord knows how much effort it had cost him to sneak past Illmond, who, per his usual routine, had zero intention of going to sleep at night... And how much he'd have to spend to sneak back.
They stood in near total darkness, only their eyes glistening slightly, reflecting the light of the shattered moon.
Sun gave a welcoming wave with his monkey tail and yawned, examining the dozens of photographs on the desk. His nunchucks, which he carried with him at all times, poked slightly out of his jeans pocket. After the news that The Puppeteer was planning to get into Beacon, none of them parted with their weapons. Sure, the rules forbade carrying sharp or shooting objects through the corridors, but Egrer and Sun's weapons were pretty compact. Blake, however, had problems; she had to hide her broad blade under her clothes, which made her walk look a little funny.
"I've compiled a list of all the female tournament participants who have arrived at Beacon," Blake cut right to the chase, not wasting time on greetings.
During this time she had started to look much more exhausted; a couple more days at this pace and no one would be able to tell her apart from a corpse. However, the fruits of her labor were immediately apparent: dozens of photographs of girls lay on the desk with brief profiles on the backs.
"Just don't tell me you hacked some Beacon database or something," Egrer said blankly, flashing an awkward smile. A gold tooth glinted in the moonlight.
"I don't have the necessary skills," she shook her head. "I just personally photographed every human and Faunus of the female sex I didn't recognize."
"Personally?" Sun asked in disbelief. "Like you just walked around with your Scroll and took pictures of everyone?"
"Yes. Unnoticed, of course."
"Damn, and you called me a creepy stalker."
"There is a difference between obsessively pursuing someone and searching for a dangerous criminal passing herself off as a student," Blake explained like she was talking to an idiot. She was clearly not in a good mood right now. "We have certain characteristics of The Puppeteer, so by sequentially checking each candidate, we will be able to find Her."
"Right," Egrer uttered, picking up a photo of a laughing girl. "But she's one of ours, the leader of Team BSMT. Can't remember the name, but considering Ozpin's passion for naming teams to sound like their leaders' names, she's probably called something similar."
"Oh, this girl is from here too," Sun picked up another photograph. "Neptune was hitting on her recently, she's a third-year."
Why did Blake, with her famous observation skills, manage to mix up locals and visitors?
The bags under her eyes were an eloquent answer to that question.
"I've heard that lack of sleep has a bad effect on memory," Egrer casually noted. "About a third of these pics are Beacon students. And you photographed a couple of them twice. Wait, what is Madge doing here?! Are you serious?!"
Blake, meanwhile, stared at the pile of photos as if seeing it for the first time. She braced her hands on the desk and loomed over her work, intently examining the faces. Finally, she rubbed her eyes and sighed heavily.
"Apparently, I'll have to take a rest."
"You say that like you're about to undertake a great feat," Sun chuckled. A sharp glare from Blake instantly wiped the smile off his face.
"And what have you two been doing?"
"We-e-ell... I was walking around Beacon with my bros. There are so many interesting places here."
Blake closed her eyes, seemingly trying to calm down. A gesture like that clearly boded nothing good. After a couple of seconds of breathing exercises, she was already looking demandingly at Egrer.
"I... Uh... currently busy running the union. Filling out various forms, holding rallies... helping Jaune with some personal drama." He shot a disgruntled look at Sun.
"Seriously?!" Blake yelled at them. "You idiots, there's an enemy nearby, and you're busy with some nonsense! Sun, you were the most scared of all..."
"I wasn't scared!"
"...then why are you just living like you don't know anything?"
"Well, The Puppeteer is out there somewhere... doing something... for whatever goals... But my bro's got some personal drama right here and now." He cast a disgruntled sideways glance at Egrer.
"A wonderful excuse, simply marvelous! I wonder, will you say the same thing when She slits your buddy's throat?" Sun frowned, clearly picturing this scene. "We need to identify the enemy as soon as possible, The Puppeteer obviously didn't sneak into Beacon for some trivial matter. If She needs the White Fang, Torchwick, and several hundred tons of Dust for something, then She a priori[1] can't be up to any good."
"Blake, you're right, no argument there," Egrer started, "but you're working yourself up too much. Rather, you're wearing yourself out too much."
"Eg is making sense." Sun nodded toward the scattered photos on the table. "You're too scattered, and at this rate, you won't achieve anything. Get a good day's sleep, eat normally~"
"I don't want to hear anything from lazy bums who have done NOTHING all this time!"
She turned and left, not even bothering to close the door behind her. Her stomping footsteps were heard for quite some time while Egrer and Sun exchanged glances.
"Well... she's right about some things," Egrer noted. "We somehow quickly got used to a psychopath roaming nearby."
Arguing with that was difficult, so Sun nodded in agreement.
"Yeah. Let's sort out the pics first." He nodded toward the desk. "And tomorrow we'll show them to her. If we can't calm her down, at least we'll take some of the workload off her."
***
Egrer walked down the corridor at a brisk pace. He had recently received a message from Illmond demanding that he and Jaune immediately report to the fountain. Apparently, their cyber-heartthrob wanted to share some important data. So important that he was afraid to just drop it to their Scrolls.
Like they were discussing something illegal, honest to god. Even if Goodwitch herself caught wind of this intrigue, she wouldn't do a thing. It's unlikely she's interested in her students' love lives and the resulting conflicts.
Suddenly, a pair of students ran toward him.
"Run!" they yelled, not slowing their pace. Egrer didn't pay proper attention to their panicked cries and kept walking toward the meeting spot. Even if Illmond sometimes acted like they were planning a murder, that wasn't a reason to put on the brakes.
He really should have taken a detour.
Turning the corner, he was met with the sight of a briskly walking Chuckler. The old janitor didn't suffer from back pain as much anymore, so lately he had been very actively catching disturbers of the peace. Namely—anyone who crossed his path. He always had a knack for coming up with nitpicks that even the most skilled lawyers would envy.
And since Egrer had only recently finished his detention work, he boldly jumped out the fourth-floor window. No one would blame him.
"And the rain just keeps on falling," chuckled someone near the bushes into which yet another body had tumbled. "Yo, Tarzan, approximate speed of Chuckler?"
"Hat? About a hundred and twenty steps a minute. I didn't really look too hard, just jumped immediately."
"The old man's hauling ass, no joke," chuckled some tall upperclassman with piercings all over his face. "Bet he's even drifting around corners."
Egrer climbed out of the bushes, fixed his hair, and straightened his clothes. He found a greenish stain on his jacket, which he immediately started scrubbing furiously while continuing to walk.
"Hold up, we need help," Hat blocked his path. As always, his eyes were hidden behind the brim of his own hat. "Since Chuckler's now strutting around with Aura because of you, you're gonna pay it off."
"What do you mean, 'because of me'?! What kind of bullshit are you spitting?"
"Great guilt lies upon you," a third upperclassman spoke up. He stroked his long gray mustache reaching down to his collarbone, and cunningly narrowed his slanted eyes under equally long eyebrows. "The food fight in the cafeteria was started by you, breaking the vow and severing the ancient promise. The evil hath awakened due to your fault as well, Tarzan."
"I don't have time for this, I need to hurry!"
"It'll be quick," Hat grabbed him by the sleeve and dragged him into the ranks of his team. Besides the gray-haired Mistralian and the metal-studded beanpole, there was also a bald midget. "A five-minute job."
"Fine, but make it quick. What are you scheming?"
"Putting the tyrant in his place." With those words, a female student jumped out the window. Upon landing, she was immediately asked about Chuckler's movement speed, resulting in the disappointing figure of one hundred and forty steps a minute. "Oof, he's accelerated, practically running. Let's go boys, don't lose him."
Hat and his team broke into a jog alongside the building, from whose fourth floor students continued to occasionally jump. Egrer still hadn't been let go, so he was forced to follow them.
"Because of you, the balance of power hath been disturbed," the gray-haired Mistralian spoke up. "We have always known where the janitor was, but now he is swift and daring. There will be no peace for the forces of good today."
"For every action, there will be a reaction," the tall one said with a smirk. "The old man's gotten awfully active, he needs to be sent to bed for a couple days. To get some rest, heh."
"I didn't start the food fight then! Take all complaints to Yang, got it?"
"This is war," the midget said sternly. "There is no room for compassion or mercy here. Innocent casualties are inevitable."
"By the way," Hat chimed in, "since you so generously decided to help us, let me introduce you to my team. Meet, from left to right: this is Sensei, our personal sage, a walking library, and best fighter all rolled into one. If you have life problems, he'll give you a thousand and one pieces of advice on how to solve them."
The Mistralian stroked his long gray whiskers and slightly bowed his head in greeting.
"This one here is The Rock, and never mind that he's a midget. Neither a Goliath's blow, nor a direct rocket hit, nor even Goodwitch's strict voice will faze this shorty. An impenetrable guy."
Egrer glanced at the shortest member of their team, who had to run to keep up with the rest. His caricaturishly stern and square face looked as if it had never seen a smile.
"And Joker, our main mastermind for chaos and various pranks. Most of the practical jokes on Chuckler are his doing. Pulls off the impossible every day, just don't ask him how—he won't shut up."
The lanky upperclassman with facial piercings extended a hand. Egrer shook it hesitantly, expecting some stupid joke at any second. This type of person always caused him apprehension with their unpredictability.
"Nice to meet you," he said merely out of politeness. "So why do you need me?"
"Chuckler hath become far more nimble," Sensei spoke, stroking his mustache. "Swift, agile, and as pesky as a mosquito buzzing in the night. We need bait to divert his attention. Then the mischief will succeed."
"No-no-no!" Egrer recoiled immediately, forcing everyone to stop. "What if they send me back to detention? I just recently finished my old ones!"
"Well, it's 'cause of you guys that he's strutting around with Aura now," Joker noted. "Atoning for your sins."
"There were twelve of us back then, why did you pick me?!"
"Alright, Tarzan, don't get cocky." Hat gave him a cuff on the back of the head. "Senior says—junior does. Forward! Climb back up; if my calculations are correct, Chuckler will come around the bend in twenty seconds. He's bound to bump into you, from there just stall for time. I promise nothing will happen to you, we'll draw him away immediately."
"May I be damned if I ever agree to anything again..." Egrer didn't dare refuse. After all, they were fourth-years and much stronger than him. And even understanding that they wouldn't do anything bad to him, refusing was still somewhat scary.
Clambering up to the fourth floor, he waited for the walking nightmare of all Beacon to emerge from around the corner. Not even Goodwitch inspires the same level of terror as Chuckler with an unlocked Aura.
Sometimes it felt like the entire meaning of the janitor's life consisted of picking on everyone around him. The particularly fearful even called him all-seeing, but only recently had he truly begun to earn such a grand epithet.
The footsteps approached, and a second later, Chuckler spotted Egrer. Even though the student in front of him clearly wasn't doing anything illegal or reprehensible, the old man still found something to harp on.
"What kind of look is this? Have you been sleeping on the street?" Chuckler pointed at the greenish stain on the jacket that Egrer had failed to scrub off. "The school uniform costs money, in case you didn't know, you incompetent brat! And I won't believe for a second that you can find any, you animal!"
Please, hurry up, Egrer prayed. He could feel his blood starting to boil; not even Torchwick's racist jokes were this insulting. And that guy knew perfectly well how to piss off even a Grimm.
Movement started behind Chuckler's back—Hat's team had slipped inside and crept toward the end of the corridor. They nimbly tied the ends of a thick elastic band to the two marble pillars of an arched passageway, while Hat held a watermelon that came out of nowhere. Their actions fairly oozed with years of experience in cruel pranks.
And Egrer very much disliked what he was about to be dragged into.
"Are you even listening to me?!" Chuckler yelled.
"I'm listening, I'm sorry."
"If I see you, you thick-skulled animal, running down the corridors one more time, I'll send you to scrub the toilets!"
"But I wasn't running..."
"That's exactly why you're not in detention yet!"
Hat pulled back on the elastic and began to take aim, while Joker steadied the watermelon with both hands. Sensei was apparently the spotter; he raised and lowered his palm, and in time with these gestures, Hat lowered and raised the elastic band. The Rock stood nearby with a serious face.
Then came the vibrating twang of a released bowstring, and the watermelon hurtled straight into Chuckler's back. Despite his Aura and his extraordinary sensitivity, he only managed to twitch when the projectile slammed between his shoulder blades at near-supersonic speed. With a loud pop, the red mush exploded all over the corridor, somehow sparing only Egrer, who stood right in front of the old man.
"He's not invulnerable after all!" Joker yelled. "See Chuckler—prank Chuckler!"
"Run, you goofball!" The Rock hoisted him off the ground and sprinted after the others. Their unrestrained laughter echoed over Beacon for a long time.
"You!" The janitor whipped around and tore off after the rule-breakers. "I'll catch you and whip you, you menaces!"
Egrer remained alone in the splattered corridor and decided to pretend he had absolutely no part in this, and overall, it was time for him to go.
***
It's not very often that Illmond displays such proactivity that one shouldn't at least encourage it. At this rate, he'll soon stop being a hikikomori and start socializing with someone outside their circle.
Everyone had already gathered at the edges of the fountain, waiting only for him. Jaune trailed a hand through the water while Illmond kept his eyes glued to his Scroll, so no one noticed his arrival.
"Well? What did you gather us for?" Egrer asked wearily, flopping down onto the bench opposite them. Exposing his back to the splashes wasn't something he particularly wanted to do.
"I found out some things about our opponent," Illmond raised his head. "His name is Neptune Vasilias; born and raised in Mistral, but he isn't a native. His parents are refugees from some village somewhere between Vale and Vacuo. Loves superhero comics, dislikes large bodies of water. Presumed unable to swim."
"How the hell did you sniff all that out, you creep?"
Jaune looked highly surprised too. He clearly suspected Illmond of stalking or even something worse, but it turned out to be much simpler and more legal.
"Social media," the hikki waved his Scroll. "He has an active social life on the extranet, I just skimmed his page. He didn't state most of the information there outright, like the stuff about his parents, but it was easy to deduce certain nuances. And by the way, this was supposed to be your job, Eg."
"Since when?"
"You're our hacker. Why haven't you cracked his shit yet?"
"You're a hacker?" Jaune asked, surprised.
Egrer shot a displeased glance at the overly talkative Illmond. As always, whenever he wasn't glued to his Scroll, an actual need for interaction seemed to wake up inside him.
"Ill, I'm gonna ask you to keep your mouth shut. And yeah, Jaune, I was more of an electronic cracker than a hacker. Remember I told you I didn't grow up in the best environment around criminals? Well, Dad forced me to figure that stuff out."
"Don't tell me if you don't want to!" he waved his hands defensively. "I don't care what happened before, you don't need to make excuses."
"You already figured it out anyway, hundred percent. I broke into Team CRDL's room right in front of you, or did you forget?"
"Oh, right... I kinda didn't pay much attention back then..."
Illmond slapped a palm against the water, drawing their attention. He was visibly dissatisfied that they'd veered off the initial topic.
"What are we doing with this info? We need to use it to our advantage. For example... look, Eg, you're our pro when it comes to friendship and other crap."
"It's not crap," Egrer stamped down sternly.
"Whatever you say. Anyway, the plan goes like this: you worm your way into his confidence and stab him in the back at the opportune moment. Metaphorically, of course."
"Are you kidding me? Just up and betray someone? Who the hell do you take me for, you homegrown hikki?!"
"Right." Illmond slapped his forehead. "An unlocked Aura has multiplied your manic passion for friendship hundreds of times over. Inconvenient."
"Duh!" Egrer answered caustically. Just a little more and he'd push their cyber-heartthrob right into the water. "Principles are like that, yeah. Inconvenient, but damn necessary."
"Then let's hear your suggestions."
"Let's not go to extremes," Jaune requested peaceably. He still didn't like the idea of stepping over others to get ahead. "As an option, we could just show Neptune in a less-than-flattering light."
"Hm..." Egrer pondered. "Like, let Weiss know that Neptune... I dunno, picks his nose."
"Kinda petty," Illmond pointed out.
"Believe me, it means a lot to her. She's almost as big a neat freak as I am." Any doubts about it being petty were immediately discarded. "After something like that, Weiss wouldn't hold his hands unless he washes them with soap right in front of her. And that's at the bare minimum, not to mention the long-term reaction. She'll constantly be thinking, 'Did he wash his hands this time?' and will always be on guard."
"Okay, now you're definitely exaggerating," Jaune noted skeptically.
"Are you the Professor of Weissology here or am I? I thought so. I know best. And so that Weiss doesn't have time to find a new suitor, we have to do this right on the eve of the dance. Then she'll only have three options left: go to the dance with Neptune anyway and disgrace herself; start asking every passing guy if he's free, and disgrace herself; or she'll accept Jaune's invitation."
"And disgrace herself," Illmond finished.
"Hey! I'm not that bad of an option."
"Yeah, on the principle of the lesser evil, she'll definitely choose you."
"Ill, don't be such a downer," Egrer sternly wagged a finger. "Or I'll tell Madge you curse when she's not around."
"And you said you were against betrayal," Illmond grumbled indignantly. "Fine, the plan is solid, but how do you propose we pull it off? Why don't you just talk shit about Neptune to Weiss? She'll believe you."
"Are you suggesting I trick her? In case you forgot, I can't lie."
"Well, how is she supposed to know about your idiotic smile?"
"Do you genuinely think that after all this time she hasn't learned to notice such details about me? Funny, real funny. Either way, I'm not going to just exploit our trusting relationship like that. You've already pointed out my attitude towards friendship, so don't talk nonsense."
"Eg, this is primarily for your sake. You want the rumors about you two to disappear, right? Then do something about it."
"I could actually do nothing at all for that," Egrer noted, crossing his arms over his chest, "then Weiss will go to the dance with Neptune, and everything will die down on its own. I'm only helping Jaune because I promised to help him."
"Well then, help."
And there was this dilemma again. Help Jaune—meaning betray Weiss. Don't help Jaune—betray Jaune. Sure, it wasn't strictly categorical enough to directly call it "Betrayal," but Egrer couldn't help falling into extremes right now.
Whichever way you looked at it, he had backed himself into this corner. He definitely wouldn't be able to sit in two chairs at once. Just as he couldn't pick one specific side to help. He couldn't even just stay on the sidelines. The situation was shaping up to be extremely unpleasant and convoluted.
To be honest, Egrer no longer believed that this bizarre matchmaking could lead to anything remotely positive. Matchmaking itself was a pretty shady concept and hadn't been relevant for a hundred years. If people gravitate toward each other on their own, a little nudge from the outside might be helpful, but this was a different situation. In essence, they were stripping Weiss of any choice by shoving Jaune onto her so aggressively. While she, meanwhile, had her own plans and desires.
"Why did I even get involved in this mess?" Egrer muttered under his breath. "Fine, I'll try."
The target was found surrounded by her team in the arena. After all, a true Huntsman must not only be comprehensively educated but also strong. And no matter how much Weiss loathed physical education and physical labor itself in principle, she always pushed past her limits.
It was nice to see that she had fully integrated into her squad. She no longer nagged Ruby over every little thing; she and Blake had established a sort of parity and hints of a normal friendly relationship; and Yang no longer lunged at her for looking sideways at her sister.
Team RWBY split into two pairs and sparred, practicing new techniques and teamwork. In general, doing the exact same thing as all the students at Beacon... With the exception of MJEI, of course. That team was rarely spotted doing anything useful, excluding detention.
Egrer knew where Weiss would head after practice, so he decided to intercept her halfway. Such social activity still took a toll on her, so after interacting with her team, she usually sought a more secluded place to recharge and take a break from their company. Illmond acted similarly, as did all other not-so-sociable individuals.
A few minutes later, Weiss appeared. As expected, she was walking all by her lonesome towards her abandoned gazebo. Smiles weren't a frequent guest on her face, but right now the corners of her lips were noticeably lifted.
"Hi, Weiss." He gave a welcoming wave, but she merely nodded in response. Apparently, she didn't realize Egrer was calling her over for a chat... Well, in that case, he just hopped off the windowsill and matched her pace. "How are things?"
"Fine. It is rare to see you without your team."
"And it's just as rare to see you with yours. Though, things have been getting better lately. I'm glad for you."
"Do you need something?"
"Don't need anything. Why do you always play that same tune when I initiate contact first?"
"Hm..." Weiss mused. "Perhaps because I am projecting my own behavior onto you. After all, I've never approached you just for the sake of it. And let's be honest, I am not the most pleasant companion to pass the time in conversation with."
They fell silent. Egrer pondered how to broach this difficult and slightly personal topic, while Weiss generally had little desire to chat about anything due to fatigue. Thus, he opted to be direct.
"Weiss, have you decided who you're going to the dance with?"
"Perhaps." She looked at him with suspicion. "Why are you asking?"
"Just asking," he shrugged, concealing his dopey smile with an innocent scratch of the nose. "Don't have to say if you don't wanna."
"I do have one candidate in mind..."
"That blue-haired guy? I see you two together pretty often."
"Neptune, yes."
"A-a-and... how is he?" Egrer tried to ask casually, deliberately making it seem like he wasn't particularly invested in her answer. "What do you even see in him?"
"He is sweet, courteous, and attractive. Of course, I doubt that with his personality type it will amount to anything more serious, but it is simply pleasant to be around him."
"So you perfectly understand that it's going nowhere, but you're still gonna go to the ball with him?"
"Why not? I just told you, I simply find his company pleasant, something far from everyone can boast of. Furthermore, this is not a wedding, merely a dance."
They fell silent again.
Damn, where to begin, Egrer thoughtfully chewed his lip. If he was going to slander Neptune, it'd be best to use grains of truth... but they weren't even acquainted. How can you state something with total certainty about someone you've only seen from a distance? That meant he'd have to lie through his teeth...
But it's one thing to lie to, say, Magenta, telling her that her delusional ideas will surely be implemented later, and another thing entirely to purposefully destroy someone's reputation, even if just in the eyes of one specific person. To Egrer, that felt repulsive.
After all, Neptune might actually be a decent guy, and he'd be treated so unscrupulously.
"Listen... I heard that Neptune is..." His tongue refused to move and speak the necessary words. "I heard he's Mistralian... but he doesn't look like one."
"Not all of them must have narrow eyes," Weiss explained as if to a child. "There are many other ethnic groups in Mistral that migrated there from other continents since time immemorial."
"Yeah, right. Just kinda slipped my mind..." Egrer mumbled, restoring his mental equilibrium. "Well, hope Neptune won't mistreat you."
He was just about to leave when Weiss posed a single question.
"By the way, who are you going to the dance with?"
"Me? No one. I've already got my hands full, don't have the time to waste on girls too. Ain't got time for that."
"The next time Vytal is held in Vale, we will have already graduated from Beacon. Therefore, you should seize this rare opportunity to have a good time."
"Whoa. Didn't expect a stance like that from you."
"Frankly, I am nauseated by all sorts of balls; in Atlas, it was my primary nightmare. All those 'important' gatherings, building bridges with future business partners, empty talk about politics," Weiss rolled her eyes and huffed. "No, for me as the future head of the SDC, these are critical events, but as a seventeen-year-old girl, it is a sheer waste of time."
"Well, things will be different here. If only because the students themselves are responsible for organizing the ball."
"Exactly why I am now eagerly anticipating how delightfully destructive a festivity where adults are forbidden to interfere might turn out to be. So I hold great hopes for this event, and I must extract everything I possibly can from it. And I do not entirely understand your apathy, since such an event happens once in a lifetime. Not Vytal itself, I mean, but the student ball in its honor."
"If I don't let loose at one party, there's always time for another," Egrer brushed it off.
"First you must learn to seize every opportunity; it is only with experience that one can afford to be more selective."
"Sounds like a quote. Some of your father's wisdom?"
"Yes," Weiss nodded anxiously. "Is it that noticeable?"
"I quote my pop pretty often myself, maybe that's why I caught onto that... particular intonation. Not quite admiration, but a touch of shame that you're taking the words of someone like that to heart," Egrer shuddered. "Anyway, thanks for your concern, but I don't even have a suitable candidate."
"Is that so?"
"Well, if we don't seriously consider Madge..." he mused for a moment. Weiss raised an eyebrow, and Egrer immediately took a couple of steps to the side. "Wait, don't even try hinting at yourself..."
"Is that so?" she repeated again. It seemed she was offended that someone dared not to even consider her candidacy. "I am not even on your list of potential dance partners? Even accounting for the certain awkwardness in our interactions caused by Yang's little jokes, I still should have been the first person you thought of."
"I think I already told you that you've got an inflated ego," Egrer reminded her. "You are on my list, yes. The blacklist."
"With such thunderous honesty, you truly could not possibly have had a date for the evening."
"What's the point in lying unnecessarily?"
"Unfortunately, girls are highly susceptible to lies. There is even a saying—men fall in love with their eyes, and women with their ears."
"So you think that if I skillfully feed a girl some bullshit, she'll be mine?"
"I wish I could be a naive little girl and believe in till-death-do-us-part love at first sight, but conversely, I am rather cynical. So yes, I do believe that high charisma alone almost guarantees success. But it is precisely this understanding that is my primary defense. I have always been wary of compliments."
"Well, in that case, I have zero chances with anyone. I don't know how to lie, and even if I manage it, it's with immense effort." Egrer chuckled. "But on the bright side, you'll know for sure that if I call you beautiful, it'll be the pure and unshakable truth, not just an attempt to make you feel good or suck up to you."
"There is a certain charm in your sincerity, too," Weiss said with playful condescension. "I believe honesty is exactly what our world lacks. So do not lose heart."
"I'm not. When I become a world-famous musician, girls will throw themselves into my arms. And to make that wonderful time come sooner, I can't let myself be distracted by nonsense right now."
"In any case, even if you had invited me to the dance, I still would have refused," Weiss suddenly said.
"Really? Why?"
"What a foolish question. The reasons are so numerous that I would grow tired listing them."
"Hey, that's not an answer."
"Why are you so interested in the reason?"
"You wounded my manly pride!" Egrer theatrically clutched his heart. "Unless you want me crying into my pillow all night, explain yourself."
"Reason number one: Yang. Listing the rest no longer makes any sense."
"Well, at least the problem isn't me."
"I said 'Listing the rest no longer makes any sense,' not that the 'rest' did not exist," Weiss noted with a chuckle. "For example, your new gold tooth. Hideously tasteless; it would be far better to just leave a gap there."
"Hah, you sure know how to ruin a mood."
With that, they parted ways. Weiss headed to her secret gazebo, and Egrer froze by the arched exit.
He may not have achieved his set goal, but the main thing was that his soul was at peace, and his conscience was clear. Yet Egrer was still torn between two choices, not knowing which side to take. One day he'd just collapse on the floor from exhaustion.
Jaune and Illmond had been tailing them the entire time, keeping a decent distance. So, soon enough, they approached him themselves.
It was going to be so awkward to disappoint them...
"Well?" Illmond asked.
"I can't lie to her. I'm essentially her only friend. I can't use my position for personal gain."
After all, that was Weiss's deepest fear. The fear of becoming a puppet in someone's hands again, of losing her freedom, of becoming a bargaining chip for someone else's interests. Egrer would be the lowest of the low if he did that.
"What are we supposed to do with you?" Illmond was indignant. "Or are you actually starting to enjoy the rumors circling you two?"
"And why did you get so invested in this?" Egrer asked irritably. "You're the one who has absolutely zero stakes in this. Why are you bending over backwards to help Jaune?"
"If you start something, see it through to the end—that's my credo. And everything must be perfect—also my credo. So I'm with you on principle."
"Don't worry, Eg," Jaune placed a hand on his shoulder. "You don't need to beat yourself up over it, it's actually for the best. I wouldn't want you and Weiss getting into a fight because of me."
Egrer looked at his hand and raised an eyebrow.
"You know, I'd have been a lot more grateful if you'd said that earlier."
Jaune scratched the back of his head in embarrassment and gave a sheepish smile. Obviously, if everything had gone as planned, he wouldn't have said a word.
"And how do we get Neptune out of the way then, genius?"
"What if we just ask him?" They stared at Jaune in bewilderment.
"And you think he'll actually just give up his claims on Weiss?" Egrer asked skeptically. For once, his opinion on relationships aligned with Illmond's. "If it were that simple, then~"
"It actually is very simple. What we need here is honesty. I'll just walk up to Neptune and explain my situation to him."
"This plan is doomed to fail," Illmond shook his head.
Egrer was just about to agree with him, but considered the alternative. And the alternative was spinning a web of lies and intrigues, constantly bargaining with his conscience, and pretty much declaring war on a regular blue-haired guy. Who, by the way, Weiss found cute.
If there was even the slightest chance to resolve everything peacefully, they had to seize it.
"I'm certain Madge would advise this exact way out," Egrer finally stated. "Besides, we shouldn't ignore the simplest solution just because you don't believe it'll work. If it doesn't pan out, then we'll brainstorm further."
"Eg, do you have his Scroll number?" Jaune asked.
"I've got Sun's number. I can arrange a meeting through him."
"That'd be great."
Sun's reply did not keep them waiting long. A rather skeptical reply, it's worth noting. He clearly expected some foul play or dirty trick from them, but still agreed to relay everything to Neptune. The meeting was set for right now.
Jaune set off for the negotiations alone, leaving his gurus to observe the proceedings from the dorm roof. Illmond watched his back as if seeing him off on his final journey; he clearly had no faith in a successful outcome of this enterprise. At roughly the same distance from the meeting spot, Sun could be seen, clumsily trying to hide in the bushes. He, too, had decided to observe the negotiation process.
The delegates met under a cherry tree. A handshake marked the beginning of the dialogue.
"We are just wasting time," Illmond complained.
"But imagine if Neptune actually is willing to back off. Rejecting this plan would mean we'd keep suffering over some absolute bullshit. Now that would truly be a waste of time, you gotta agree."
Illmond said nothing more, but from his focused gaze it became clear he was already drafting other strategies in his head for fighting Neptune. Egrer simply lost the desire to talk about anything.
He wondered if he would be able to play dirty tricks on Neptune if the guy dug his heels in. And he came to a disappointing conclusion—he'd just drop the whole endeavor.
If Weiss liked this blue-haired prep, what right did they have to throw wrenches in their works? The best solution would be to stay the hell out of this love triangle altogether, but time machines hadn't been invented yet, so he wouldn't be able to stop his past self.
The negotiations didn't last long; just a couple of minutes later, Jaune started heading back. It was hard to determine the outcome of the entire endeavor from his tense face. Egrer and Illmond jumped down from the roof and landed next to him.
"So?"
"He..." Jaune looked at them with wide eyes and swallowed hard. "He agreed..."
"How is that even possible?!" Illmond roared. "This didn't happen in the visual novels! The malicious womanizer is always supposed to be a malicious womanizer who would never let go of his victim!"
"The real world isn't a game," a satisfied Egrer uttered profoundly.
"But he really should be a scumbag! In case you forgot, the entire Beacon thinks you're the one dating Weiss. There is no way he didn't hear about that, but he started seducing another guy's girl anyway. That blue guy is an amoral freak!"
"About that," Jaune raised a hand. "Neptune told me that Weiss herself told him the whole truth. So he wasn't seducing anyone."
"But he still approached her for something the first time, even before he found out the truth," Illmond pointed out.
"He said he was just lost back then and asked her for directions to the visiting students' dorms."
"That's just an excuse, a blatant, brazen lie."
"Settle down, Ill." Egrer placed a hand on the pervert's shoulder, just to keep him from attacking Jaune for the audacity of shattering his stereotypical world. "There wasn't actually an enemy to begin with, and everything could be resolved just by talking."
"What did you tell him?" Illmond wasn't letting it go. "What kind of trick did you use?"
"None. I just said that he'd be leaving soon, and Weiss will be staying here. I confessed that I've liked her since initiation day and just asked him to back off. He agreed."
"Behold, the power of true love," Egrer said in the tone of a gray-haired sage. "I count this as a plus to our karma, and with good karma you're bound to have good luck in life."
"Yes, but now we have to make sure Weiss doesn't find another visitor for the dance," Illmond nitpicked. "We eliminated Neptune too early."
"Doubt it'll be a major problem with our new weapon—sincerity."
"Just sheer luck. It will never be this easy again."
"We'll see about that."
After all, Weiss hadn't chosen Neptune for the dance as part of some cunning plan. Not to maintain the reputation of the perfect lady, and not to avoid awkwardness in the future. She simply liked him.
And now the main problem was that she might cling to her suitor in a death grip. If Neptune had renounced his claims, Weiss, on the other hand, had promised them absolutely nothing.
In that case, things would get even more tangled and bizarre.
[1] In everyday Russian, the word 'a priori' is casually used to mean 'by default', 'by definition', or 'automatically'. So in this context, it just means that if she needs all those villains and dust, she automatically / obviously can't be up to any good.