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As a highly experienced adult Wizard, exactly what specific, fundamental qualities are completely, logically needed to actively live a vastly more comfortable and significantly longer life?
Regarding this highly specific, philosophical question, Professor Horace Slughorn, the esteemed Head of Slytherin House, Hogwarts' absolute most senior Potions Master, the United Kingdom's undisputed magical bartending expert, and the absolute premier collector of highly potential new stars in the Wizarding World, absolutely possesses his very own, highly defined set of absolute survival philosophies.
A massively long string of incredibly impressive academic titles? Highly extensive political connections completely throughout the United Kingdom? Incredibly smooth, flawless social networking skills? Astute, highly profitable corporate dealings?
These are all mathematically, undeniably good things to have, but entirely in his highly experienced opinion, they are ultimately completely just the decorative finishing touches on a cake. As a Wizard operating in a dangerous world, there is absolutely, mathematically only exactly one fundamental thing that can completely, truly ensure he successfully lives a highly leisurely, safe life—
Absolute Strength.
He highly enjoys living an incredibly superior, luxurious life and occasionally happily indulges deeply in the sweet, intoxicating taste of premium aged mead; but this absolutely, fundamentally does not legally mean he will ever passively tolerate completely becoming a highly incompetent, pathetic person who absolutely only knows exactly how to lazily enjoy himself.
You can happily enjoy the finer things in life, you can definitely occasionally indulge your vices, but you absolutely, fundamentally cannot ever legally afford to be truly, physically weak—
When it's finally, violently time to actively fight or run, you absolutely must mathematically be highly capable!
For a massive example, although he is formally currently employed simply as the school's Potions Master, his raw, highly advanced Transfiguration skills and his absolute mastery of Defense Against the Dark Arts are mathematically absolutely no less lethal or powerful than those of the specific, highly specialized Professors who actively teach those dangerous subjects. Furthermore, although he completely, actively doesn't easily, casually use highly invasive Legilimency normally on people, and absolutely no one currently dares to violently do so directly to him, his highly advanced, impenetrable Occlumency shields are absolutely already completely superb.
Not absolutely only must the physical mouth be kept completely, strictly shut, but the highly fragile mind must be guarded completely, entirely even vastly more securely. Absolutely only then can one logically live long enough and feel completely secure enough to actually enjoy the honey.
On the freezing, bright first morning of 1974, the beautiful morning light completely streamed directly through the tall, highly ornate arched windows completely into his luxurious private quarters, beautifully casting a heavy, warm layer of spun gold completely onto the thick Persian carpet.
Slughorn stood completely straight directly before a massive, highly polished oak dressing mirror, carefully, highly approvingly examining his incredibly radiant, healthy reflection. He reached up his plump hands to meticulously straighten his highly expensive, dark green silk tie, raised his bushy eyebrows with immense, profound satisfaction, and showed a highly kind and slightly, deeply smug Slytherin smile directly to himself.
Very good, very nice indeed.
Slughorn was very, highly pleased completely with himself.
The warm room was currently entirely filled completely with the incredibly enticing, mouth-watering aroma of a massive breakfast—the rich, creamy scent of flawless golden scrambled eggs, the highly sharp, spicy aroma of premium Italian pork sausage, the incredibly sweet, fresh fragrance of an expensive imported fruit platter, completely accompanied entirely by steaming, warm Florentine rolls and incredibly rich, dark black coffee...
Clearly, his highly devoted personal House-elf had completely quietly, flawlessly completed absolutely all of this massive preparation, even highly elegantly placing a perfectly blooming, fresh red rose completely in the expensive crystal vase directly on the dining table.
Exactly what a highly wonderful, perfect start entirely to the new year.
Leisurely, highly comfortably sitting completely down at the heavy dining table, the Head of Slytherin absolutely first took a highly appreciative, slow sip completely of his hot coffee completely before finally picking up his heavy silver knife and fork—
Exactly what a highly wonderful, safe life!
He actually really, genuinely deeply liked his highly comfortable work completely at Hogwarts. In absolute addition entirely to the massive, highly lucrative various resources and massive political privileges he actively received completely as a senior Professor, he also greatly, genuinely enjoyed the highly rewarding, psychological process of actively interacting completely with brilliant young students.
Absolutely every single year, completely fresh, new faces violently join the school here, entirely full of massive vitality, raw enthusiasm, perhaps a highly little bit deeply silly and naive, but absolutely all are completely young people heavily possessing unlimited, massive political potential. As a highly experienced Professor, he can completely, easily highly mathematically identify exactly the absolute most promising, brilliant candidates possessing highly unique, massive potential and actively, smoothly recruit them completely into his highly exclusive Slug Club.
For a massive example, exactly this specific year, the absolute, highly specific ones he completely, most desperately wanted to aggressively recruit were the two incredibly brilliant, highly wealthy Black Family brothers.
Highly especially the younger, vastly more calculating Black currently entirely in his own House—Regulus.
Although Regulus's highly polite, incredibly flawless pureblood demeanor highly, deeply reminded him of completely another highly brilliant, highly terrifying dark-haired student he had actively taught completely many, many years ago, who was exactly equally talented and highly, terrifyingly polite. But completely unlike that specific, highly dangerous one... Regulus was clearly, undeniably vastly more politically favored entirely by Albus Dumbledore—
Undeniably, Hogwarts' absolute brightest, most highly massive future political star was currently entirely, safely sitting completely in his very own Slytherin House. This corporate realization gave him a massive, profound sense of absolute accomplishment.
This highly specific time, it's absolutely not exactly that Ri...
Stop!
Slughorn violently, instantly realized his highly dangerous, dark thoughts were actively, rapidly drifting entirely vastly too far into the highly classified past, and he quickly, violently slammed his impenetrable Occlumency shields completely shut.
Sitting in the pouring, warm sunlight, he actively, heavily felt the physical weight completely of the heavy silver knife and fork entirely in his plump hands and actively, highly focused entirely on beginning completely to happily enjoy his hot scrambled eggs—
Aggressively, highly seriously eating a massive, delicious breakfast is a massive, highly fundamental virtue of a good life.
This is absolutely also exactly one of his core survival philosophies.
...
After finishing his massive breakfast, Slughorn completely, neatly tucked his Slytherin House's highly detailed annual administrative summary completely directly into his expanded velvet pocket and highly leisurely, comfortably walked completely towards the highly secure Headmaster's office. He happened to actively, pleasantly run completely into Professor Minerva McGonagall, who had absolutely just physically come directly out of the Headmaster's office entirely on her way back to Gryffindor Tower.
"Happy New Year to you, Minerva!" Horace smiled warmly and waved his plump hand happily.
"Happy New Year to you as well, Horace!" Professor McGonagall also completely smiled highly warmly and politely nodded directly to him. "Albus is currently highly eagerly waiting completely for you inside."
Exactly after the New Year holiday, the highly busy Heads of House were absolutely, mathematically required, completely as usual administrative protocol, to actively submit a highly detailed, massive annual academic report directly completely to the Headmaster. It was honestly completely unclear exactly when this specific bureaucratic tradition started, but absolutely everyone coincidentally, highly politically chose exactly the absolute very first day completely of the New Year to do it. This had almost completely become a massive, highly unbreakable tradition entirely at Hogwarts.
Perhaps, highly psychologically speaking, this was actually exactly one completely of their highly subtle, respectful ways completely of showing massive, absolute respect entirely to Headmaster Dumbledore—after all, that man was the legendary Albus Dumbledore.
It's absolutely no massive exaggeration entirely to logically say that this massive, profound respect absolutely alone could easily, highly mathematically help Dumbledore completely successfully finish exactly half of the highly complex Headmaster's administrative work.
Standing completely directly in front entirely of the massive, highly secure stone gargoyle exactly at the heavily warded entrance entirely to the Headmaster's office, Slughorn highly carefully adjusted his silk tie completely again, then highly leisurely, comfortably stepped directly onto the smoothly rotating, magical spiral staircase.
...
The massively spacious, highly magnificent circular office was completely currently bathed entirely in bright, freezing morning sunlight, making absolutely everything highly magical inside completely appear entirely even vastly more beautiful and pristine.
"Ah, Horace—" Sitting completely directly behind the massive mahogany desk, the highly respected, powerful Headmaster immediately stood completely up with a massive, highly beaming, grandfatherly smile. His highly expensive, deep purple silk robes beautifully trimmed completely with white ermine were absolutely exquisite.
"Happy New Year!"
"Happy New Year to you too, Albus!" Slughorn replied completely with massive, highly genuine sincerity.
Oh, absolutely yes, Slughorn thought warmly. Exactly another massive, highly undeniable political benefit completely of safely working entirely at Hogwarts is actively being completely, legally able entirely to closely work directly with the specific Wizard completely widely, universally acknowledged entirely as the absolute greatest, most terrifyingly powerful of the entire modern age! Regarding this massive fact, absolutely no one completely among the entire Hogwarts teaching staff did not actively feel highly, profoundly honored.
"Please, do sit!" Dumbledore waved his long, uninjured hand highly elegantly, and a massive, highly soft, incredibly comfortable plush armchair instantly, flawlessly materialized completely out of thin air directly across from the desk.
Slughorn sat completely down highly happily, and completely with exactly another smooth, casual wave entirely of the Headmaster's hand, a delicate crystal cup completely full of a highly hot, golden-red drink gently steaming in the cold air flawlessly appeared completely directly before him, entirely with a bright, fresh slice of yellow lemon perfectly inserted on the rim.
"Please, do highly have a taste," Dumbledore said incredibly kindly, his blue eyes twinkling over his half-moon spectacles. "This is a highly authentic, delicious Hong Kong-style lemon black tea entirely directly from the exotic East that my devoted elf Creevey recently, successfully learned how to brew."
A highly pleasant, incredibly sweet and sour fragrance immediately wafted completely over the desk, and Slughorn's sharp gaze completely followed the highly powerful master completely of the Castle entirely down to the massive, crystal-clear glass teapot and a massive, heavy glass jar completely of golden honey sitting completely exactly between the two of them.
But exactly the absolute very next second, his dark eyes were suddenly, violently drawn completely like a highly terrified magnet entirely directly to a massive, highly damaged book resting highly casually directly behind the glass pot—
It was a highly thick, incredibly heavy, ancient book completely with a violently torn, plain black leather cover, highly casually lying entirely directly behind the glass teapot, entirely with a highly simple piece of folded parchment completely tucked exactly inside the jagged pages as a highly prominent bookmark.
It was exactly that highly specific, highly terrifying restricted book... "Potentia Animarum" (Soul Power).
Slughorn's racing heart completely, violently skipped a massive, terrifying beat, and he actually physically felt the fine hairs on his thick arms immediately, violently stand completely on end in pure, unadulterated terror.
Could this highly specific, highly damaged book actually completely have been highly deliberately, calculatingly placed completely exactly right here entirely by Dumbledore specifically as a trap?
He immediately, violently became completely, highly alert. He quickly, violently suppressed absolutely all panicked, highly dangerous thoughts completely in his brilliant mind, and aggressively, flawlessly locked them completely, highly securely entirely under the absolute, impenetrable protection completely of his Occlumency shields, completely while highly successfully still smiling entirely brilliantly completely on the surface.
Slughorn intimately, highly legally knew that completely after Dumbledore officially became Headmaster, he had actively, aggressively conducted a highly massive, ruthless "sorting and purging" completely of all the highly dangerous books entirely in the Restricted Section. He had completely, highly securely hidden the absolute darkest, highly lethal ones completely exactly inside the warded Headmaster's office, such highly terrifying titles exactly as "Secrets of the Darkest Art," "Bloodborne Curses," and "Dark Souls"...
This highly specific book, "Potentia Animarum," was technically a highly massive administrative slip-up by the Headmaster—after all, theoretically speaking, it technically absolutely wasn't completely categorized formally as a highly lethal Dark Arts combat book, and it was highly complexly written entirely in ancient Latin.
But he, Slughorn, happened to highly unfortunately completely have physically, actively read this highly specific book in the past, and he had completely actually, terribly even actively recommended it entirely to certain highly inquisitive students completely before.
Perhaps this was absolutely, mathematically just a massive, terrifying coincidence—
But completely of course, absolutely any highly intelligent, politically surviving person actively knows entirely that absolutely only a complete, braindead fool would actually completely dare take Albus Dumbledore lightly.
"Ah, thank you so much! Albus."
Slughorn blinked his eyes highly naturally, slowly picked completely up the hot crystal teacup with a steady hand, highly gently blew completely on the hot steam, and took a highly small, polite sip.
The hot black tea was absolutely, incredibly deliciously sweet and perfectly sour, highly fragrant and deeply mellow, completely exactly matching his absolute favorite taste profile. He highly successfully raised his bushy eyebrows slightly and said completely, highly admiringly:
"An absolutely, incredibly very good taste! Exactly where on earth did your talented House-elf actually learn it?"
"Ah, highly interestingly speaking entirely of exactly which, it's actually completely highly related entirely directly to a brilliant student currently completely in your own House—" The highly terrifying Headmaster completely exactly before him laughed highly pleasantly, "This is actually a highly specific, exact Muggle recipe Regulus highly generously gave completely directly to Creevey. It was actually his highly thoughtful New Year's corporate gift completely for me."
Dumbledore's grandfatherly smile deepened significantly, and he continued highly warmly, "He's truly, undeniably an incredibly highly thoughtful and terrifyingly clever child, absolutely isn't he?"
Slughorn leaned entirely back completely in the plush chair highly relaxedly, actively smiling completely in highly genuine agreement, "Yes, absolutely, Albus. I completely, mathematically must honestly admit, Regulus is absolutely undeniably exactly one of the absolute most highly likable, brilliant students I've absolutely completely ever taught—he is highly intelligent, incredibly graceful, entirely possessing a highly massive, incredibly promising political future..."
As he was completely, smoothly speaking, his sharp gaze completely inadvertently, highly accidentally met Dumbledore's incredibly deep, terrifyingly piercing blue eyes over the tea, and he immediately, highly smoothly looked completely exactly away—
"There's absolutely probably completely no one completely among the entire Hogwarts teaching staff who completely doesn't actively highly like him. This highly specific time, actually even you, Albus..."
As he spoke entirely completely, his voice highly involuntarily, completely physically became significantly quieter, and his highly panicked gaze highly unconsciously, violently swept completely directly over the massive, damaged black book completely on the desk exactly again—
In the incredibly bright, pouring morning sunlight, Dumbledore was absolutely still completely, warmly smiling, and the massive room was actually so incredibly, terrifyingly quiet completely that absolutely only the highly gentle, soft sound completely of the phoenix Fawkes lazily preening his red feathers completely could actively be heard.
Slughorn's cold heart completely, violently tightened entirely in pure terror...