…
"So, are you telling me that since you weren't fully developed yet, your dick can still get hard?"
…
— Essentially, yes.
Yashin, sitting on the edge of his bed, brushed back the long bangs that fell across his forehead.
— Since I never had a reason to mess with my balls—because I always preferred to use peripheral conversion instead of fiddling down there—it seems that's the only thing that still works normally and, therefore, wasn't ruined by the hormonal stimulation.
…
"So, what exactly is this for…?"
…
— Not at all, I suppose. At first I thought I could use it as a stepping stone to a full recovery later on, but in the end it's a lost cause. It's just a little extra testosterone, estradiol, and DHT. Beyond having to spend a little less chakra on some of the shit that keeps me alive and a possible increase in my future sexual enjoyment, it's no big deal.
Instead of rushing to answer, the voice in Yashin's head began to laugh with obvious exasperation.
…
"Setting aside the fact that your balls woke up way too early—when they're supposed to wake up between ages 9 and 14…"
…
— It's not that strange. Remember that this world has chakra. What's so strange about my testicles being a couple of years early?
…
"… Just shut up and let me finish. Instead of focusing on how much fun you'll have if you ever get to roll around with that unbearable sister of yours…"
…
— Hey…
…
"You'd better ask yourself, 'Why on earth did whatever's inside your scrotum wake up out of nowhere, when it supposedly needs the hypothalamic-pituitary axis to do so?'"
…
Although Yashin wanted to keep protesting, the question posed by the voice in his head made him shut his mouth.
It was right. After all, the pituitary-hypothalamic-testicular axis was entirely chemical—that is, hormonal.
That part of him had woken up out of nowhere was still inexplicable.
Could he once again attribute that abnormality to chakra?
Before Yashin could even begin to hypothesize an answer, his bedroom door was violently flung open by an even more furious Sakura.
— You… Why do you always have to be so annoying?
Confused and taken by surprise, Yashin barely managed to put his arms in front of his chest before Sakura's blow landed on him.
Immediately, his sister's excessive force sent him tumbling backward, while a painful numbness spread through his body.
Almost at the same time, Sakura realized she had gone too far; however, although her body urged her to step closer to check on her brother, the whirlwind of emotions inside her kept her frozen in place for a moment before driving her to flee out the window.
Completely bewildered, Yashin remained lying there, his gaze fixed on the spot where his unpredictable sister's back had vanished.
Before he could wrap up the matter by declaring that the eldest Haruno was simply a lunatic who needed to be disciplined by his own hand, his mother's voice came from the doorway.
— Yashin, where's your sister?
Although the pink-haired wanted to protest the gruff tone of the question and his mother's casual way of linking him to that lunatic, he knew from the look on Mebuki's face that it was better to keep quiet, unless he wanted to listen to one of her endless lectures.
Instead of wasting his breath, he extended his arm to point at the half-open window and, in passing, show her the reddened skin from the blow.
However, Mebuki was too upset to notice such an insignificant detail.
— That girl… Why can't she be at least half as tidy as you are? I swear, if she keeps this up, one of these days she's going to drive me to my grave with anger.
Despite his mother's unintentional compliment, Yashin was not at all pleased.
And how could he be, when it was obvious that the reason his violent sister had come to hit him was because of this woman's justifiably hateful comparisons.
After being scorned, what Yashin hated most was having to bear the blame for something he didn't do—or did do… Either way, any negative consequences that fell on him were something he deeply disliked.
However, even though his hands were itching to do something, he had nowhere to vent that frustration, so he could only lie sulking in his bed while rubbing his aching arms.
— Yashin, even though you're the younger one, as the more mature of the two, you need to take good care of your sister. And while you're at it, teach her how a young lady should behave.
…
"Hehehe… It seems your mother has also noticed what a little bitch you've turned into. Make sure you set a good example for Sakura."
…
— Anyway, I have to go. If you see Sakura, tell her that as punishment she'll have to clean the living room.
After finishing her rant, Mebuki immediately turned on her heel and left the room, leaving a bewildered Yashin behind.
Although the pink-haired didn't remember these kinds of details from his previous life, he somehow sensed that a normal family shouldn't be this chaotic.
Maybe it was also a matter of chakra.
That sinister substance not only made his mother act as if she were permanently on her period, but even his sister seemed to have suffered its effects prematurely.
Otherwise, what other explanation was there for the increasingly common episodes of emotional dysregulation in recent days?
Her budding obsession with the Uchiha?
Her increasingly deteriorating relationship with Ino?
Her sister urgently needed a psychologist—or a new object of obsession.
In any case, as long as they didn't attack him again for no reason, Yashin wasn't going to worry about any of that right now.
Once the stinging in his forearms subsided, the pink-haired got out of bed and left his room, heading for the kitchen; however, before he could reach his destination, Kizashi's raucous laughter, along with the voices of a couple of children, reached his ears.
— I'm telling you. Even though his sister was crying as if the world were ending, he didn't let out a single whimper. He even had a nasty look on his face, as if he were looking at everyone with disgust, when he was the one covered in fluids—or should I say…
Before Kizashi could finish spouting the wicked joke surely running through his head, Yashin teleported with a shunshin to the middle of the room, right in front of the unusual group.
— You guys, why did you come here?
Even before Yashin spoke, Shino and Chōji's bodies had already gone rigid.
But before they could open their mouths or think of a response that would appease the surly pink-haired, Kizashi stepped forward to get his attention.
— Yashin, come here and tell your friends about your birth from your perspective.
— Shut up. Don't make me remember your face covered in snot and tears trying to kiss me.
The blush on Kizashi's face stood in stark contrast to his colorful hair; however, no one in the room could care less about how good or bad the middle-aged man looked.
— Can you really remember the day when…?
As if he'd never opened his mouth to speak, the Akimichi lowered his head and went back to focusing on his snacks after meeting the pink-haired's cold gaze.
— So, what are you doing here?
— Classes. You promised.
— On my damn day off? Are you guys sick or something?
Ignoring his father's mumbling about how he shouldn't leave him out of the conversation, Yashin kept ranting.
— Besides, you haven't paid me yet. Why the hell should I waste my time with you guys?
— I already paid.
— Shut up, fatso. You still owe me for daring to walk into my house uninvited.
Although Yashin's words weren't the least bit pleasant, after interacting with him over the past few weeks, Chōji had already gotten used to it; so instead of taking offense, he ignored him and went back to the greasy business he had on his hands.
Before the pink-haired could demand payment for making noise or eating his trash in his house, Kizashi spoke up again.
— Come on, come on. You shouldn't talk to our guests like that.
— Nobody invited them.
— Whatever. They're already here. Besides, they belong to important clans; as a member of the Haruno clan, getting along with them would only benefit you.
The heirs' expressions were complicated.
Although Kizashi didn't have a tongue as sharp as his son's, somehow his bluntness and utilitarian thinking could be almost just as annoying.
— Wait, is Yashin part of a clan?
Before Chōji's exclamation could reach him along with the crumbs from his fries, Shino ran to the far end of the couch.
— Of course he belongs to a clan. Although it's not as big as the Akimichi, we have our own emblem too.
Proudly, Kizashi pointed to the simple picture hanging on the wall, where a plain white circle was drawn on an even simpler red background.
— Cool, right? Or should I say…?
— So, do you have any Kekkei Genkai or secret techniques?
Kizashi, annoyed to see his wordplay interrupted again, began to feel a slight tingling in his hands.
However, before he could open his mouth to create another moment to satisfy his anxiety, his son beat him to the answer, though first he made sure everyone heard his snort.
— Kekkei Genkai or secret technique? If you consider my so-called grandfather's wealth to be on par with a bloodline limit, then yes, we have something like that. Although now that there's almost no money left, you could say we're something like a degraded version of the Senju after losing the Wood Style.
— Hey, you can't make it seem like we have nothing. After all, we have far superior chakra control than everyone else.
— A consequence of below-average chakra reserves. If that's something worth bragging about, I might as well join this guy's clan.
Caught off guard, Chōji couldn't do a thing as the pink-haired reached out to steal his potatoes.
— Perhaps the only way this 'talent' can be of any use and become a true bloodline limit is if a Haruno mates with an Uzumaki or a Senju.
Immediately, upon seeing his old man's gleaming eyes, Yashin regretted having spoken those words.
— You're a genius. There are a couple of Uzumakis in your class, right? Now that you mention it, you must like that girl, don't you? You have the clan's permission. No, it's an order from the clan. I'll take care of telling Sakura that…
Before Kizashi could continue ranting, Yashin threw the bag of potatoes at his father's face.
Truly, his house was a mess.