Ky drove to the house she and Troy shared. She went over how she was going to handle the conversation with him. She went through the house like a demon. Ky tore open drawers, cabinets, and closets. She went through each room. The last room she checked, their room, she felt in her gut. She should have looked in first.
She opened all the dresser drawers, shuffling things around. She found a gun in his drawer. Going to the closet flung open the doors and took out his clothes and hers. She grabbed the suitcase, shoving her things in.
Heading to the bathroom, she grabs some of her toiletries, still going over this conversation. "Ok, He will say, Ky baby, listen I was with Mrs. Gladden, you know she gets grabby , and I'll say, You're right, but where were you, and Johnny said something stupid like you're the Chief of Police."
She nods, agreeing with herself that it sounds right. "Then Troy will say, baby, you know he has always had a thing for you . I'll say no, he has Ish."
Mimicking the hand gestures as she's having this conversation with herself, picturing the conversation. It sounded plausible. " He'll say , Nah baby, but it's true, he hates me always has." Mimicking Troy .
Kyouki nodded again. She needed to have this right. She was still going to spend the time with Gat and Ish. But she needed Johnny wrong. She needed to hear it from Troy's lips. Still tossing things into the suitcase and travel bag, Ky goes to snatch a box that contains her favorite heels, and a box next to it tumbles out of the closet.
Dodging the falling box heard the clatter when it hit the floor, she peeked over her shoulder, seeing it laying there with its lid off has an old badge, some other medals and bullet shells, and a photo of the Saints during a summer BBQ they held, purple headband, scattered, and something alarmingly odd; a sweatshirt with blood. She gasped. It was the sweatshirt she had on the night Lin died. There like a fallen flag on the floor.
~*Nov. 98'*~
Li was hearing Troy calling to her, in and out of consciousness, the pain was too much. Troy carried her to one of the safe houses. Dex and Johnny met them when Troy called frantic.
"Put her on the table. We have to get the bullet out!" Johnny taking her from his arms.
Dex was rushing to get the medical kit, and Johnny punched Troy in the face soon as he laid her on the table seeing the blood pouring from her side.
"Fuck is wrong with you!?" Johnny screamed at Troy, pulling off the sweatshirt over Li's head, hurling it at Troy.
"Baby, I'm sorry, I…" Troy came to take her hand, Johnny punched him again.
"Fuck is Lin?" Johnny poured water and vodka on the wound, Li screamed in pain, Johnny pressed her back down on the table, Dex came over just in time snapping a glove on, feeling in the hole feeling for the bullet.
Li moaned in pain, tears streaming down her face. She gasped loudly when Dex fished around finding the bullet. She screamed again when Johnny flushed the wound again, then poured water, making sure it was clean.
Troy winced watching her hurting and remembered, "It was the Rollerz, fucking Sharpe killed Lin, I - I have to go get her body!" Troy was shook, he ran to get Lin from where she was still floating. None of this should have happened.
~*S.R.1*~
Her face twisted in anger, tears stinging her eyes. That night, Troy saved her. She assumed he just followed her. Then she realized, "You're in prison for your protection." Why had she been in prison and not a hospital?
"I was on life support. He kept me alive for five years? No… no…. that's not... right? That makes no sense." Pulling her phone from her pocket going to dial Johnny.
Changing her mind, she didn't need him saying how right he was about Troy. Kyouki absolutely needed to hear it from Troy. She shoved her phone back in her pocket as she picked up the badge. Johnny had to be wrong. Looking at the old ID on the other side. "Detective Troy R. Bradshaw." Was what she read, clear as crystal.
Kyouki hung her head.
She left fresh tears on the old sweatshirt in her hands. As she gripped it tighter, she dropped her hands to her sides looking up at the ceiling, the sweatshirt unrolled Lin's lighter clattered on the floor, picking up her old lighter she started thumbing the partly rusted metal, "You weren't the only one undercover huh, and I'll say, Troy so you are a cop."
~*~*~
The house was dark when he came in. She sat in the middle of the room in the shadows, light from the orange street lamp peeked through the blinds, her eyes transfixed on the door he would enter. Kyouki went over this conversation one hundred and twenty-two times.
She promised herself she wouldn't get emotional. She was already a wreck and she wouldn't kill him. Li had cried as her mind was overthinking finding the things of Lin and hers just made it worse, and the more she thought the more frustrated she became. When she heard the key in the door, her head shot up.
"[ Welcome home .]" She greeted eerily once he crossed the threshold.
Troy jumped. He dropped his duffle bag on the floor, the same he had done for the past six months.
She heard the keys clatter in the dish by the door, the same as he had done for the past six months. 'Stop it Li, don't overreact.' She chides herself, her breathing becoming unsteady. 'Just let him answer. Do not go off.'
Through the blinds, the light hit her eyes, making them eerily lighter. Narrowed eyes, she examined the Saint's former member.
Closing the door behind him, took two steps. "Ky baby, listen what happened-."
She flew into a rage. Screaming, her face felt hot. " USOTSUKI ! You're a… were… are a FUCKING COP!" Clutching the medal and badge close, she hurled them both at him in the dim light.
"Ow. Baby, listen…" Covering his face with his hands.
Li breathed heavily, talking to herself. "Ok, ok, it's cool, I'm cool, it's cool…" she paced back and forth the length of the sofa. She needed to calm down.
Troy raised his hands in defense. He knew this could happen and something he had been avoiding. "Will you hear me out?"
"NO! YOU LIED TO ME… US… YOU'VE BEEN LYING TO ME!" Li stopped her pace as she faced him. Face scrunched, screamed at him. Kyouki wanting to give him a chance to say his piece, her eyes red - tears stained her cheeks and fresh ones poured out. Li looked at him and shook her head.
"I'm sorry, listen. Baby… Baby. Can we talk?" Troy went to reach for her.
Li lurched away, stumbling back, " Sawaranaide ! You don't get to touch me. You are fucking lucky I'm still speaking to you! Usotsuki." Her finger pointing at him like a dagger.
Troy backed up, and he knew he should have come clean with her. He had time, he just got too comfortable.
Kyouki's switch flipped as she had mulled over finding out who she had been with for the past several months. Putting the sweatshirt out and put it on the couch. "You keep souvenirs?" She questioned, placed the lighter on top like a point that she found out. "You were there because I thought you cared and followed me."
Pointing sharply at the sweatshirt and lighter on the couch.
Nodding, she could see nothing but Lin floating. "You missed him, you missed fucking Sharpe! You could have saved Lin, fuck Donny could've saved her, but I know for a fact he was a bitch ass." Li sniffed. Frustrated, Li paced. She was tugging at her ponytail. Rubbing her forehead as she thought, she tried to calm, but she remembered that night seeing the lighter alone made her tear up once again.
Troy swallowed hard. He rubbed his hands over his face, reaching on his hip as he drew his gun, aiming it at her.
Li stopped mid tirade. When she heard the click of the holster, eyes hard, narrowed. "You want to shoot me now?" She faced him completely, slowly walked over to where he stood, not blinking, her eyes boring into his. "Huh, you wanna shoot me?" her question was stabbing.
Troy's face scrunched. "I want you to listen to me. I had my reasons for not saying anything about me being a cop!" He yelled back.
She took hold of his wrist, aimed the barrel of the gun right on her breast over her heart.
Troy felt the heat from her touch through his sleeves. He was deflating; she wasn't blinking, and he would never shoot her, but it got her to stop for a second to hear him out.
"Shoot. Me. Bitch." she coolly demanded.
"I just want you to listen ."
"Shoot me, you think I want to listen, cop, usotsuki ?"
"Ky please."
She shook her head. "Nah, that's not how that works. See, what you did was lie to me . You lied to the Saints. What you did is keep me alive for whatever sick reason you thought up. You got me to play house with you. Congratulations." She mock applauded him. "I had been a little dishonest with you. To tell the truth, there are things about my life you didn't need to know. It was never something I planned to bring up, until I was ready."
Li covered her mouth. "I had a major surprise for everyone, before I went…" She gestured as if she was blowing up.
Sniffed again, she frowned. "But not once have I lied to you, for years. So now that honesty is coming out, here is me. My family is large, rich, and powerful. I am supposed to be in Japan. I can kill you or anyone and not bat an eye. You know what you think is my last name."
Li undid the safety of his gun, never taking her eyes from his.
Li was pushing him back against the door with his gun still aimed at her heart. "So let me ask you. I suggest we be honest with me. The night you were to meet me on that yacht, where were you?"
Troy swallowed hard. "A-at the station."
Li nodded, a tear trailed down her face. "What do you think hurts worse, laying with the enemy or being shot?"
Troy lowered his gun, putting the safety on dropping it on the carpeted floor, "Ky, I love you. I kept you alive, I just wanted to….. I don't know, I know why I wasn't there, and I am so fucking sorry. I got you out, I kept you alive, seeing you hurt laid up, I didn't want you to be a part of this from jump!" His face went through various emotions in a few seconds.
Li blinked finally and turned away. She couldn't look at him, walking to the couch once more. She gathered the lighter, stuffing it in her pocket and shoving the sweatshirt into her backpack. "The cops not following was you too?"
Troy walked to her, he went to touch her, and she looked at his hand, daring him to. "Baby, I'm so sorry, I really am…"
Li shook her head. "Sorry doesn't cut it. This ain't one of those sappy melodramas where the girl finds out he was a spy sent to keep her safe and they fall in love and she's good with it, no. You lied to HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE WHO CONSIDERED YOU FAMILY!" Fresh tears trickled out of her eyes. As she screamed at him, she wanted to beat him. She wanted to take the lamp on the table and beat him senseless.
A ragged breath she wiped her eyes, sniffing, "I liked you for the longest time, during Johnny's birthday, I did so much to get you to pay attention to me, firsts I had with you. I invited you to my Obachan's. You couldn't even tell me she died! ' She lives near Mourning Wood ', Noooooooooo, she died Troy, she's DEAD TROY! You ain't even tell me Ish was still here!" Li hung her head and grabbed the back of her neck, pulling hard. Taking deep breaths, she closed her eyes and stood tall. "Love, no, you didn't really."
"I did, I do... I do, I honestly do…" Troy pleaded. He wanted to take her and hug her tight, let her know how sorry he was, and come clean like he should have.
"My fucking god. Johnny was right, Johnny was right this whole time about you." Li nodded. "I'm not Li of the Saints, but you are still Troy Bradshaw, cop, and now Chief of police." She grabbed her bags without looking back left.
The sound of things being thrown and screaming faded off as she walked further from the house. She would not look back. He did not deserve her looking back.
~*~*~
Kyouki sat in the car at the club and cried for a few. She went in and apologized to her manager. He saw she was not tip-top and sent her home.
Home was the last place she could go, grabbing two cases of drinks, put them in her car. She needed a drink badly. Troy had been calling her number, and she was not going no answer.
Ky made it a game for hours straight. She watched the phone ringing. She took another drink; Kyouki cried, and drank, sitting in Aisha's driveway on the roof of her car. Another ring, another drink. Ky doesn't even like the taste of alcohol, not something that she would normally do. She just wanted to drown out the day, the past, the present, and six years ago. Ky just didn't want to go inside; as she was too drunk to go anywhere else.
~
Aisha peeked out of the window, seeing a bottle being raised every so often. "Johnny, Ky is back, but she's sitting on the roof of the car... drinking?" She looked at Johnny, he was watching Tv.
"She's a big girl. She'll be in when she is ready." Gat shrugged it off.
"Johnny." Aisha came to sit with him. "Go talk to her. That's your best friend. You forced her to do this."
"I ain't force her…" Sucking his teeth, she was right. Kyouki broke up with Troy Bradshaw and was drinking her sorrows away because of him, ruining yet another of her relationships. "You're right, I'll see you later." He kissed Aisha and headed out of the door.
Seeing Li rocking, he knew she was out there. "Pigeon, what are you doing?" His hands in his pockets, watching her sit humming to herself, rocking on the roof of her car.
"Mr. Gatitude, how ya dooin?" Ky swerved to look at him, scrunching her nose playfully, smiling, almost falling over. "Whoa." She giggled. "[ Guess ]. Gessss what, you were r-right, [ I dated a police officer ], I dated a cop." She sniffed, speaking between Japanese and English, only translating. Half remembering, Gat can't understand her.
The phone rang again and the bottle, now empty, tipped to her lips. The empty bottle she shook, and turned over to get up and slipped off the roof of the car, hitting the paved driveway. "Ow…" she groaned and laughed out loud. " Itai ." She sniffled.
Johnny helped her to get up. "Lightweight. Ok, lessgo for a ride." He helped her to stand going to open the passenger side door. Empty bottles of coolers and hard half full clear liquor bottles clattered to the ground. Ky was hammered. She will surely feel it in the morning.
Johnny cleaned her mess and put her in the car. They drove around with the windows down. She needed to sober up. "Johnny, daisuki ."
Johnny raised an eyebrow, definitely hammered. "Is that so? When did that happen?"
Li turned her head and put a finger on his cheek. "Long time ago." They pulled up to a red light and Johnny let out the longest sigh. Li poked his cheek. "You are so pretty. I should have picked you first. What am I saying? You have Eeeesh. Johnny daisuki Eeeesh!" She laughed.
Johnny chuckled, shaking his head.
"Oshiri, mem- member when you kish me?"
Slowing to another red light, he looked at her, glassy eyed and grinning, with tears trickling from her eyes. He can't take advantage of her like this, tempting as it may be. He pulled up to a Freckle Bitches, ordering them something to eat.
The smell of the food turned Ky's stomach. She opened the door as they were in motion and threw up. Gat had to grab hold of the back of her shirt to keep her from falling out. "Stupid! Fuck you trying to get killed?"
"I did the stupid once… no, twice. I did stupid twice." She was sobering up. Kyouki's face twisted. The thoughts were invading, and she could hear her phone chime. She reached behind the driver's seat and popped another cooler, guzzling it, then another.
"Should we go to the hospital cause that much alcohol will kill you, bulsajo ." Reaching to take the bottle from her, she snatched away.
Shaking her head, letting him take it when she sloshed some all over her clothes. "When have that sthaped you?" Grabbing a soda, she swished it in her mouth, spitting it out of the window.
Johnny had no answer.
Li reached back, going to guzzle two more coolers. "A fucking [ keikan] . He is a fucking cop . How could he do dis to me?" Her head was heavy. "Give a man time. He blows you up, or chases away other guys, or is a fucking cop." She sobbed. "Kissh me."
"What?"
"Kissh."
"No."
"Oh, something wrong with me now, you don't wanna, remember that time you scared that boy, whatshisname… yeah, you fucker!"
"Bulsajo, I won't kiss you when you're like this. Sober up Pigeon."
"Don't call me Pigeon." She leaned forward. "Oooh, I love this song…"
'Nutty nutty nutty, my love for you. I can't believe my dreams come true, and best of all, you're nutty nutty nutty for me …'
"I haven't heard this is forever. This on the radio?" Ky cheered herself. Going through an array of emotions.
Johnny looked, it was on loop on her CD player. Shaking his head, he pulled up to the shore. The moon was out, and it reflected off the soft waves the wind was creating.
Li turned up the song, hit the headlights, and got out. She danced and sang along to the song.
"Get in the car before you hurt yourself." He called after her.
She stumbled a bit, stopped to get the beat, and she was kicking off her sneakers and socks to dance on the sand. He felt behind the seats, bottles; he turned on the overhead and her back seat was covered in still full bottles of fruit coolers. "Da fuck, did she get all of this?" Grabbing one, he turned the loop off, going to sit on the hood of the car.
Li was dancing like she was on stage, singing off key, which for a drunk woman sounded not as bad. She was dancing to the routine from the music video. Step by step, she had the biggest smile on her face.
The song changed, and she grinned, "There are times when I look above and beyond, there are times when I feel your love around me, baby, I'll never forget my baby."
Johnny, watching her, caused him to smile. Smiling because of her, when she looked at him, singing to him.
"Everywhere I go, every smile I see, I know you are there, smilin back at me, dancin in moonlight, I know you are free, cuz I can see your star, shinin down on me… . Cause I busted you out… Woooooh!"
Johnny turned his head, laughing. She was right. He looked around to see if anyone else was watching the show. When he turned back, she was standing before him. "Kiss me."
She startled Johnny for a moment. He dropped his bottle. Ky reached up and removed his glasses. Folding them, she hooked them on her shirt, taking his face in her hands. She swayed. Trailing her hands down his neck, lightly tracing the pattern of his neck tattoo, across his shoulders, down his arms, pulling his arms around her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, looking him in the eye. "So, why did you tell me?" She leaned in, licking her lips, pulling him closer, her forehead touching his. Ky closed her eyes. Her eyes hurt.
The smell of the alcohol on her breath was oddly arousing. She isn't a drinker. "Tell you what?" Gat rubbed his hands up and down her back. Seeing her like this was, he knew her guard was down. He knew it was his fault.
Ky liked this feeling a lot. Johnny is warm. He rubbed her back like Troy did. ' This is wrong. ' She had to stop herself. "About Troy, why were you right? I didn't want you to be right." She cried again. Kyouki pulled from him to cover her face.
Johnny tugged her lightly and holding her in place. She was swaying and just rubbed her back, trying to soothe her. "I have my reason. But you needed to know." Gat's words were soft to her ears, just for her to hear. Kissed her forehead, then her cheek, then before he moved to her lips. "You still want that kiss?" A tingle settled in his stomach. He remembers kissing her. Of course he remembers.
She saw him lick his lips. Her eyes closed as she felt a familiar pull, turned her head, "I can't, not now." She pulled him tighter for a hug. "Hug me tight. Please."
"Anything bulsajo ." He let out a breath. He closed his eyes, patting and rubbing her back. "You good?" Troy hurt her by lying to her. Johnny knew he hurt her by telling her the truth.
"Yeah, I'm too sober." She felt him chuckle.
He chuckled. "Get in, eat, take you to the house so you can feel like a new brand of shit in the morning." Gat held her hips and waist, pushing her back so she didn't fall as he helped her into the car. Taking his glasses back.
She waited for him to get settled in the passengers she before she spoke up. "Thank you. What does that word mean?" Ky asked, as she looked out of the window.
"What? Bulsajo ?"
Rubbing her forehead and temples. "Yeah."
Gat shrugged, "Fire bird or something." started the ignition once more and drove back home.