Chapter 14: The Dream of Becoming a House Husband
By ten o'clock that night, Chishima Akishin decided to close the shop early. The total revenue had reached 100,000 Yen. After deducting the cost of ingredients, he was looking at a net profit of 80,000 Yen.
Every customer who had walked into the shop had been floored by Akishin's cooking. They were more than happy to part with a significant amount of money for the experience.
Such high profits were possible mainly because he didn't have to worry about labor costs or rent.
If managed properly, the culinary industry was a goldmine. As the influx of customers grew, Akishin felt so busy it was almost like he was legally printing money.
He hadn't quite believed it before, but after experiencing it firsthand, he felt his friends' descriptions of the business were actually quite modest.
Technically, he could have stayed open until midnight, but he had to make sure Hikigaya Hachiman got home.
After tidying up the kitchen and finishing the cleaning, Akishin changed his clothes and headed toward the small Dojo. There, he found Hachiman lying on the floor, fast asleep.
Sweat matted his hair against his forehead. Akishin didn't know if Hachiman had actually finished those five hundred swings; he probably had. But at this point, whether he reached the number or not didn't really matter.
He had to admit, humans had their limits. Hachiman had clearly never taken sword-swinging this seriously before.
Akishin's interest in the boy grew. Looking past the messy hair and the narrow eyes of the sleeping face—which didn't look quite as "dead" while he was unconscious—he thought Hachiman looked almost handsome.
"Hikigaya-kun, Hikigaya-kun..."
In a half-conscious haze, Hachiman heard a voice that felt unfamiliar yet strangely recognizable calling his name.
"Hikigaya-kun, wake up. It's time to go home."
Someone was shaking his shoulder now.
Drowsily, Hachiman forced his eyes open and saw a face that wasn't entirely familiar.
"Chishima... Sensei!"
"It's me, Hikigaya-kun. You fell asleep." Akishin helped Hachiman to his feet. "It's already eleven. You need to get home before your family starts worrying."
"Eleven o'clock already?"
Hachiman was suddenly wide awake. He remembered he had started swinging that sword around eight, which meant he'd been out cold for two hours.
He reached for his phone, but the moment he moved his arm, an indescribable surge of pain shot through him. He let out an involuntary groan. "What the... what's happening?"
Akishin saw his reaction and chuckled. "That's what happens when you haven't exercised in forever. It's just muscle soreness and lactic acid buildup. Rest up, then try to do a little bit of exercise every day, and it'll go away."
Easy for you to say. This is all your fault, Hachiman thought, looking at Akishin's smiling face with a look of utter helplessness. "Sensei, I can't even lift my arms. Do something, please."
"I happen to know a few tricks to get the blood flowing. Just bear with it for a second, Hikigaya-kun."
Under Hachiman's terrified gaze, Akishin reached out and grabbed his arms. Immediately, a tragic scream echoed throughout the Dojo.
"Do you need to call your family?"
Akishin pulled out his phone and asked Hachiman, who was now sprawled on the floor with tears pricking his eyes.
"I'll use mine."
Hachiman propped himself up. Despite Akishin's "rough" technique, the pain in his arms had subsided significantly; at least he could move them again.
The call went through after a few seconds.
"Moshi moshi, is that you, Onii-chan? Why aren't you home yet? Komachi is scared all by herself."
"Sorry, Komachi. Things got a bit busy at Chishima-sensei's place. I didn't realize it had gotten this late." Hachiman delivered the lie with practiced ease.
"So when are you coming back?"
"I'm leaving right now."
"Okay then. Komachi will be waiting for you."
"Yeah, see you soon."
"See you, Onii-chan. Hurry home, okay?"
The call ended. Hachiman felt a sense of relief and looked at Akishin. "Chishima-sensei, I'll be heading out then."
"I'll walk you."
Akishin picked up Hachiman's school bag.
Hachiman didn't object; even though he could move, he was still struggling.
"Take this with you."
Akishin grabbed the wooden sword and tossed it to Hachiman.
Hachiman caught it clumsily. He looked at the sword, then back at Akishin with a confused expression. "Chishima-sensei, this is..."
"A gift for you. Keep it. It's quite cheap."
"It's not that, but... Sensei, isn't this yours?"
"It's too light. I'm not used to using it."
"But—"
"Just take it. Refusing would be disrespectful to your teacher. Carry it home yourself. Whenever you find yourself feeling lost, swing this sword and cut through that confusion."
"...Alright. Thank you very much, Sensei."
Akishin walked out carrying the school bag, with Hachiman following behind clutching the wooden sword.
The sky had turned pitch black. The sun had long since vanished, leaving behind a darkness illuminated only by scattered pinpricks of starlight. The moon was hiding behind some cloud or another, seemingly reluctant to be found.
Konishi Street was still bustling, but once they moved past it, the regular alleys returned to their usual silence. The streetlights cast lonely pools of light onto the pavement, occasionally attracting a few stray moths.
The two of them walked in silence for a while.
"Hikigaya-kun, what's your dream? What do you want to do in the future?"
"Why are you asking all of a sudden, Sensei?"
Hachiman glanced sideways at him.
"Just curious. You're an interesting guy, Hikigaya-kun, so I wondered what your goals are."
"Well, you're probably going to be disappointed."
Hachiman forced a dry smile and said, "My dream is to become a house husband."
"A house husband?" Akishin looked at him with genuine interest.
"That's right. Are you disappointed?"
"No, not at all. I actually think you have quite a noble ambition."
"You... actually think it's noble?"
Now it was Hachiman's turn to give Akishin a weird look. Is this guy okay? This was a house husband they were talking about—a man who didn't want to work and stayed home to be supported by a woman.
"Exactly! Noble." Akishin explained with a grin. "Hikigaya-kun, in common terms, your dream is called 'eating soft rice'—living off a woman. In today's Japanese society, the best way to pull that off is through an iri-muko—a marriage where you're adopted into the wife's family. If you don't want to do that, you have to attract a high-achieving woman who earns enough to support you. Otherwise, eating soft rice in poverty isn't called a dream; it's just suffering. And to get a successful woman or a powerful family to take an interest in you, you have to be impressive yourself. At the very least, you'd need to graduate from a top-tier university—ideally Tokyo University or Kyoto University. It wouldn't hurt to have a special skill either, like being a master chef. That's your best shot at becoming a legitimate house husband. What do you think, Hikigaya-kun?"
Hachiman's expression froze. His worldview felt like it was crumbling. He just wanted to be a house husband, but apparently, there were a mountain of prerequisites. He felt like his chances were dropping to zero.
"This dream of yours is truly grand. I look forward to the day you graduate from Todai. Actually, I've already thought of a target for you. That classmate of yours today, Yukinoshita Yukino, would be a perfect choice. Her family is one of the most prominent in Chiba, and they only have two daughters. To preserve the family legacy, they'll definitely be looking for a son-in-law to marry into the family. You should really seize that opportunity, Hikigaya-kun."
Akishin laughed heartily, patting Hachiman on the shoulder.
Akishin had done some digging into the Yukinoshita family out of curiosity. Their status in Chiba was indeed formidable; the head of the household was a member of the prefectural assembly, and the family ran a massive real estate business that bridged the worlds of politics and commerce.
Japan's class system was informally split into four tiers: The Imperial Family -> Kazoku (Peerage) -> Shizoku (Samurai descendants) -> Commoners! While no one said it out loud anymore, everyone knew those boundaries still existed under different names.
The Yukinoshitas could be considered Shizoku. Given their current influence, they were high-ranking ones at that.
"Sensei, you're taking this way too far."
Hachiman's dead-fish eyes locked onto Akishin. He'd only said he wanted to be one, not that he definitely would.
And now Sensei was already trying to marry him off into the Yukinoshita family—and while Yukinoshita Yukino was undoubtedly beautiful, she was far too cold for comfort.
"Haha, sorry, sorry. I was just talking. Don't take it too seriously."
...
As they chatted, Akishin and Hachiman arrived in front of a modest, Western-style house. Hachiman took his bag and thanked Akishin. "Chishima-sensei, thanks for walking me home."
"No problem. You stayed late helping me out, after all. Make sure to take a warm bath."
"Will do. Get home safe, Sensei."
Akishin waved and started walking back, lighting a cigarette as he went.
Hachiman watched Akishin disappear into the darkness before turning to open his front door. A girl with a prominent ahoge and a cute yaeba fang jumped out enthusiastically.
"Onii-chan, you're finally back! Komachi has been waiting for ages! Hehe, that line totally earns high points in the Komachi Dictionary!"
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