The rain on my skin feels like a raw, red spot being rubbed raw. I feel hot. I feel cold. It feels like the world is coming to an end, though there are no bombs—just the steady thwack of dirt being shoveled onto a cracking plywood casket at four in the morning.
How did it come to this? Just last night, Mom and I were laughing in the kitchen. She stepped out to the Marietta's garden to grab lemons for dinner. Next thing I knew, the cops were at our doorstep while I was putting on my boots to go after her. Arthur Marietta thought my mother was a ghost in the dark, so he ran her down in their driveway until her head was one with the asphalt.
Now, Mr. Gregory's gravediggers are rushing us because they have more important things to do than wait on two poor orphans giving their mother a proper goodbye.
"...clothe her with the robe of salvation to enjoy forever the delights of your kingdom..." the priest droned.
Dilly looked at me, his dark eyes wide and unbelieving, tears streaming down his face. He hasn't stopped crying since the police arrived.
"Lily, w-what are we going to do?" he whispered. "Is Mom really gone?"
With Mom gone, neither of us knows what is going to become of the other. My measly library income barely covers groceries. Mom's wages as a maid were what we were all counting on to get Dilly through college and into law school. With her gone, it feels like madness to still have hope.
I open my mouth to reassure him, but my voice feels lost. Nothing feels real. So, I close my mouth and squeeze his cold hand instead.
We trudge to the Marietta estate to pick up Mom's belongings. The walk is long, and my feet ache, but Dilly insisted on coming. The resolve in his eyes was something I didn't have the energy to fight. Looking at him, I notice the tufts of hair on his jaw for the first time. My little brother is growing up. He's becoming the strong person my mother always knew he would be… and she's not here to see it.
Everything is chaos after we pass the main gates. The bass of the party music is deafening, easily reaching over the numbness I feel.
As we near the doorstep, Dilly freezes. His lips tremble as fresh tears coat his face. He stares at the pavement a few feet in front of us. A maid in uniform is currently scrubbing that exact spot, pushing empty red cups out of the way. Guests in glittering short dresses and designer shirts laugh on the lawn, entirely oblivious to our pain.
"So this is where it happened," Dilly whispers. "He ran Mom over, didn't he?"
He points accusingly at a blonde boy with his white shirt splayed open, arguing with a man in a sharp suit holding a briefcase. Arthur Marietta and Silas Vane.
"Shh, it's okay, you don't have to look," I say, pulling him into a hug through his trembles. "We are just going to grab Mom's things, then we'll be out of here. You don't have to be brave for me."
"But it's not fair, Lily!" Dilly cries. "Why do they get to live as if nothing happened? They took Mom away!"
I know. I can't stand these people and their expensive things, laughing like we are an anomaly made for their entertainment.
A stern woman in a tailored black skirt—the head housekeeper—spots us. She looks me over like I am a nuisance. "Vivian's items are this way. Make it quick. I have important guests to attend to."
She leads us to the maid's quarters, a poorly lit hallway of prison-like cells. I place my hand on Dilly's shoulder at the last door. "Wait here."
I step inside. The tiny room is instantly suffocating, filled with the scent of the weathering lilies I bought Mom two days ago. I open the creaking wardrobe. Inside hangs a black and white uniform, jeans, a brown shirt, and a photo of the three of us at my high school graduation.
"Well, little miss, you really have grown."
I spin around. Silas Vane stands in the doorway next to my brother, his dimple showing as he smiles like all is well.
"Let go of my brother!" I growl, pulling Dilly to my side. "What do you want?"
Vane throws his hands up. "Arthur didn't mean it, Lily. It was a mistake. The kid is only nineteen."
I scoff, squeezing Dilly's hand with bruising force. "And so is Dily. But do you see me running people over with a $900,000 car, calling it a mistake, and moving to Dubai with no justice served?"
Vane's smile fades into a cold, unbothered look. "Wait outside, Dilly."
Once the door clicks shut, Vane slips an envelope from his suit. I don't need glasses to see the number. $500,000.
My hands shake. I tear it up, screaming like I've lost my mind, finally letting the rage out. I stomp on the shreds until they are unrecognizable. "You, the Mariettas, and your dirty money can go to hell!"
Vane smirks. He lunges, grabbing me and shoving me backward until I hit the wall. He presses a hand over my mouth, muzzling my screams.
"Lily, what's happening in there? Are you okay?!" Dilly rattles the locked handle from the hallway.
"Now listen to me," Vane whispers, his breath hot against my face. "That wasn't very nice. I know you're a sensible girl, Lily. You want to take your brother to law school, don't you?"
I stop thrashing, pulling jagged breaths through my nose.
"Very good. I knew this would happen, so I prepared." He releases me and slips a second envelope from his pocket. Tears spill down my cheeks, landing on his knuckles. "The world isn't rainbows and sunshine. Take the money. It'll be enough for college and law school. And for what it's worth... I am sorry."
He unlocks the door and slips out. Dilly barges in, crouching in front of me, his voice dripping with panic. "Did he hurt you?"
I shake my head, latching onto him as sobs finally rock my body. I let it all out.
Back at home…
I slide a bowl of oats and a stale piece of bread across the table to Dilly. Beside it, I place the check. I'm exhausted, and I have no easy way to break this to him.
I could hide it, but then Dilly would refuse it and demand I send the money back wherever it came from. There is no way around it.
"You have it. I'm not hungry—" His red, swollen eyes catch on the crisp white paper. He unfurls his hands from his head and picks it up. Suddenly, he jerks up from his seat, the chair toppling over behind him with a crash. His eyes dart rapidly across the numbers.
$1,000,000.
The first check Silas had shown me was just a test to see if I'd break. This was the real one.
I sniffle, clearing my throat and readying myself.
"Lily, what am I looking at?" he asks, his voice incredulous. "Who gave you this? Where's it from?"
I stand up and empty my cold coffee into the sink. "Money for college… and law school. I'm moving you to the city. You should pack up. The bus—"
"Hah! Who are you to decide whether I leave or stay? You're not Mom!"
I break. The ceramic cup slips from my fingers, falling with a harsh clang into the stainless steel sink. I grip the edge of the counter, trying to settle my trembling hands and push back the tears. I've had enough of them for one day.
"I'm not leaving," Dilly insists.
"Don't be silly. Grab your suitcase, the bus should be here soon." I grab a napkin and wipe my damp hands. "I'll get changed, my dress is soaked through. Wear something nice for your first day at school."
Dilly blocks my way out of the kitchen. We're both still in our damp burial clothes. It's okay, I tell myself. He's still just a boy. > He has no idea how hard this is for me..
"Do you realize how ridiculous you sound right now?" Dilly yells. "Stop trying to be her! You can't be her. Is this all Mom was worth to you?!"
My hand moves on pure instinct, not giving my brain the option to think. My palm connects with his face in a hard, echoing slap.
I'm breathless, choked with tears. God, I want to crumple into the corner of our cramped three-bedroom apartment, close all the blinds, and not step outside for a month. Just a month. Then maybe I'd be able to stand on my own two feet without feeling like a dead leaf blowing in the wind.
But I can't do that. I can't give up his future.
"You think I want this money? You think I care about anything else?" I yell back, blinking through the sting in my eyes. The side of his face is already turning red. "You're all I have left, Dilly! Mom wanted to see you in college so badly that she worked until her hands bled. I'd have to patch her up while you slept in a cozy bed she made for you, even when she couldn't put together enough money to turn the heater on!"
Dilly's eyes drop to the floor, tears spilling over his lashes like a leak he can't stop. "I-I'm not leaving you here alone. Not with them."
"Okay, say you stay. Hmm? What can you do for me? Work? With what, your high school diploma?"
"How are you going to cover rent?" he fires back, though the fight is draining out of him. "Your shifts at the library only cover groceries. What are you going to do when I'm gone?"
I swallow, willing myself to show strength, steeling my voice to sound calm when I couldn't feel further from it. "I know."
Sniffling, I grab both of his hands and press my forehead against his. "God, when did you get so tall?"
He lets out a broken, wet laugh. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."
"I know." I caress his cheek where I struck him. He looks more like Dad as the days go by. "But this is our only way out. We can't let Mom have died for nothing. You know how badly she wanted to see you dressed in a suit in a courthouse."
"More than lemon cake," Dilly whispers. And Mom loved lemon cake.
We pull away from each other. Dilly's eyes are filled with so much hurt and fear. I need to send him far away. I need to give him a fresh start. It's the only way I can endure this.
My eyes fall to the rubber bag sitting in the hallway, filled with Mom's belongings. Her uniform.
"Don't worry about me," I say. "I'll be fine."
He nods, knowing full well it's a lie, but he trusts me anyway.
The bus station…
We quietly walk side by side to the bus station, making it just in time to catch the last bus to Manhattan. We find an empty space near the terminal, away from the disoriented travelers trying to find their gates.
It seems we aren't the only lost ones.
"Lily, we just lost Mom. I can't lose you too. Who's going to protect you?"
Ah, teenagers. Strong one minute and teary the next. But his words bring warmth to a part of me I thought had died with Mom. Maybe we aren't so hopeless after all.
"Is Mr. Dandelion scared for his Lily?" I tease, pulling at his cheek.
"I'm being serious..." he grumbles, frowning. At least he's not crying anymore. That's good. "Can you protect me?"
"I'm the man of the house now. Who's gonna protect you if not me?" He sticks out his chest, staring at my feet.
I smile at him, taking in his face one last time. I really am about to let him go. He is the only family I have left. Panic floods my veins; the decision I made the moment Silas threw the check felt like a different me. It was a choice I made high and drunk on sorrow. But now reality is catching up, and it's all sinking in.
"Then become the most powerful lawyer in the world," I mumble.
His head jerks up. "What?" he asks, dumbfounded.
I lean in close to let a woman in her fifties and her golden retriever pass by, lowering my voice. "More powerful than them. So you can protect me. So we can one day avenge Mom."
Dilly looks around to check if anyone is paying us any mind. Everyone is lost in their own lives. He nods.
The memory of Silas covering my mouth flashes in my mind. I don't even want to imagine what would have happened to Dilly if we had tried to press charges.
"But promise me one thing," I say. "That you'll never become like them. And if you miss me, you'll call."
The bus blows its horn. Attention passengers, bus number 0026 is ready to leave. All passengers aboard.
"I promise," Dilly whispers over the intercom's echo.
The driver blows the horn again. "Kid, you coming or not?"
I feel a sudden coldness when Dilly slips his hand out of mine. Reality snaps into place like a cold fist inside my stomach.
"Come visit me at school!" Dilly calls out through his window as the engine rumbles.
"Stop being a crybaby so you can find a nice girlfriend—"
And the bus is gone. I am left standing alone in the middle of the empty station, the rubber bag in my hand. I have no control over it; I bend over the gutter and retch, vomiting the black coffee I had this morning.
"Are you okay, miss?" a station officer asks with concern.
I wipe the back of my hand over my mouth and keep moving. "I'm okay, thanks," I mumble.
I don't know when this plan for revenge began to form in my head, but if we're going to get Mom the justice she deserves, we're going to need evidence. We're going up against the Mariettas. And the only place I can get that evidence... is inside the Marietta estate.
I stand in front of their black French colonial gates. My mother's uniform is in my hands. It still smells of her: lilies. I can picture her wide smile when I close my eyes, bright and warm in the meadow. I press the coarse fabric between my fingers, rubbing slow circles.
Besides, I need this job to cover rent and keep Dilly from worrying, I tell myself. Being a Marietta maid is the only job in town that pays enough to survive.
That is the lie I tell myself as I push through the iron gates, stepping onto the dark asphalt where my mother was run over.