Memories of the locker room came crashing back—fists slamming into his gut, laughter echoing around him. He remembered clutching his stomach in pain, eyes dimming, light fading. And after they were done, he would push himself up, body aching, wobbling with every step.
I can't… take this anymore…
Then he noticed Keiko walking in, talking to one of her friends. He straightened his posture quickly. She caught sight of him, smiled, and waved. He forced a smile in return and waved back. But as she moved out of view, his expression fell, gaze dropping to the ground.
I can't let her know about this…
If I can just endure this until graduation, maybe… maybe we can be together in high school.
Nothing's changed… why… why am I like this…
His lips trembled.
Please God… someone help me. I can't take this anymore.
I like Keiko. I always have. But I don't even know if she likes me. Is she just being nice because I told her about my situation back then? Was all that pain worth it? Or was I just clinging to unrealistic expectations?
If being near her is the reason I have to suffer like this… maybe I really should just walk away.
Ari pushed himself up, uniform dirt-stained and crushed. Every movement was stiff, muscles aching as he slowly climbed onto the compound.
Meanwhile, Keiko sat in the classroom, unease tightening in her chest as she glanced at Ari's empty desk.
It's already lunchtime… Ari hasn't shown up to any of our classes today. Did something happen to him?
"Keiko… why do you even bother with him? He's always so quiet and gloomy. Honestly, it's kind of creepy sometimes," one of her friends said shrugging.
Keiko shook herself from her thoughts and turned to her friend.
"What do you mean? Ari and I have been friends for over a decade. Isn't that reason enough to care?" Her voice was firm, unwavering.
Her other friend leaned back slightly, frowning.
"I guess… but still, be careful around him. He always seems… unpredictable, like he's thinking about something no one else can see."
" Quit being hard on him. I won't stand for you talking about him like that. Ari's...a good person" she smiled.
If you actually got to know him, you'd understand."
Her friend giggled knowingly.
"Oh… I get it now. You like him, don't you? That's why you've been rejecting all the other guys… even Goto."
Ari stood just outside the door, hand on the handle, frozen. Their voices carried clearly through the thin classroom walls. Keiko hesitated, a faint blush coloring her cheeks, but her answer came quickly.
"Me and Ari... aren't like that. We're really close, and I care about his wellbeing—but not in a romantic way or anything."
No…
Ari's chest tightened painfully, breath coming in sharp, uneven gasps.
Why… why did I have to hear it like this? I knew the truth, but why… why did I hold on in the first place?
The swing. He remembered the first time they met. She laughed at how he kept kicking his legs too hard. Their hands touched for a moment.
The café. He spilled his drink on his notebook. She smiled at him. He tried to apologize. She laughed.
Karaoke. His voice cracked. She laughed. He looked at her face and felt nervous.
The day they both got accepted into the same high school. She jumped into his arms. He held her. He remembered how his hands pressed against her back.
He gripped the door handle and stepped inside slowly, each movement stiff and aching and he moved slowly. His face was bruised, and his nose still bled faintly. As Keiko turned, her eyes widened in shock. She hurried toward him, classmates whispering around the room.
"Oh no… Ari, what happened to you?!" She reached for his cheek, but Ari slapped her hand away.
"I'm fine… don't worry about me."
"How can you say you're fine when you're covered in bruises? Come on, let me take you to the infirmary and get you checked out." Keiko reached for him again, worry etched on her face.
"I said I'm fine! Just… leave me the hell alone!" Ari shouted, voice cracking, fists tightening at his sides.
Keiko stood frozen, confusion in her eyes. "Ari… what's gotten into you?"
"This is all your fault! If I… if I hadn't been so close to you, I wouldn't be getting beaten up by every guy you've ever rejected, just like in junior high!"
Her eyes widened, hand pressed to her chest.
"So… the ones who did this to you were—"
"It doesn't matter anymore. You always knew how I felt about you, but you kept dragging me along like I was some pet."
"Ari…" she whispered, taking a hesitant step forward.
He turned his head away, eyes closed. "Just… stay away from me. I mean it. I don't want anything to do with you anymore."
"Ari… that's not what I meant..." Keiko murmured.
Tears slowly slid down Keiko's cheeks. She wiped them once with her sleeve and fled the classroom.
"Keiko, wait!!" one of her friends shouted, running after her.
Her other friend glared at Ari, voice trembling with anger.
"You're such a jerk, Ari. Keiko's the only one who's ever cared about you. No matter what anyone said, she always stood up for you… but I guess she was wrong about you."
She stormed out, leaving Ari alone. The other students whispered and cast judging glances his way, their eyes sharp and curious. Ari clenched his fist, fingernails digging into his palm, jaw tight. He breathed in slowly, trying to steady the storm of frustration and shame inside him.
He spent a few minutes at the infirmary, getting patched up, and was sent home early due to the severity of his injuries.
Ari walked down the road leading away from school, shoulders heavy.
I'm glad I got to leave early… I really don't want to see her again today.
A flicker of guilt crossed his eyes, even as he tried to push the feeling down. As he walked, his shoe sank into a soft mound of dirt. Looking down, he saw dozens of ants swarming over it, crawling in every direction.
Frustration and anger boiled over. Without thinking, he kicked the nest, sending dirt and ants flying in every direction.
How does it feel to be weak… defenseless? he thought, his chest tightening. He stomped again, crushing tunnels, scattering the tiny creatures.
How does it feel to lose everything you worked so hard to build?
The ants retaliated, swarming his legs, biting with tiny, sharp pinpricks of pain. The sting only fueled his rage. He yanked a water bottle from his bag and poured it over the nest, drowning the tiny creatures in a torrent of water.
I'll destroy you… until nothing remains.
A sudden screech of tires and a blaring horn pierced the air.
"Hey, kid! Get the hell outta the way!" the truck driver shouted, losing control of the vehicle.
Ari turned just in time. The truck barreled toward him. It hit. Heat spread through his chest—not pain, but a strange, almost peaceful warmth. His ears rang, light blinding him. Time slowed. He thought of Keiko… of his mother… of how tired he was. Then—nothing.
His vision faded to black.
He found himself floating in an empty void. Ahead, a blurred white silhouette hovered, faintly glowing.
"Hello…" Ari whispered, stepping forward hesitantly, arm stretching toward the figure.
"Ari…" a calm, familiar voice replied, carrying a warmth that made his chest tighten.
Ari's eyes snapped open. He gasped, hands pressing into the cool soil, grass brushing against his hair as he adjusted to the sunlight.
Above him stretched a vast blue sky, clouds drifting slowly, their edges glowing in the filtered sun. The wind brushed his face, carrying the scent of damp earth and dried leaves. Towering trees swayed gently as he took in his surroundings.
"Where… where am I? Is this the afterlife?" he whispered, disoriented. He pushed himself upright, the grass cool beneath his feet, and stepped out of the forest onto a dirt path. "This place… it looks really strange."
A strange tingling twitched above his head. He lifted his arm to touch it—and froze, eyes widening in shock.
"What… my hands… they're brown, and it feels like armor."
A shimmering pond reflected his image. Ari staggered toward it, staring in horror.
"What the hell? Why are there antennae growing out of my head? I… I look human, but… I look like an ant too. No way…" He took a trembling step back, body tense.
No. No, no, no, no! You've got to be kidding me!
A panicked scream tore from his throat, echoing through the forest canopy of this strange new world.