Chapter 164: Resolve to Die, Reason to Live (1)
“Da las’ question ended up being da easiest~! No fool got dat one wrong now, did they?”
Roxa’s snickering voice rang across the open space around us.
The first gate of hell, the last question from the gatekeeper Shesep was truly easy.
While he did go too far by asking three questions, Shesep kept his word.
Hearing callouts of ‘Hades Louvremont’ from here and there, he did not add another word and opened up the portal to Orcus and we finally stepped into the land of the dead as ‘living beings.’
And so, here we were.
“Bu’ I canna be da only one thinking dat… tis quite average looking than I’ve thought, eh?”
Orcus.
A place where the souls of those who committed uncleansable sins live for eternity alongside dead magical beasts, unable to be reincarnated.
Unlike its notorious reputation, Orcus did not look that much different from the land of the living. If I had to look for one, it was surrounded in the nighttime, and it was unknown whether the day would come or not. There were also three moons in the sky in alignment.
Shesep answered our question when we asked if we would be able to see Gaionia immediately when we enter Orcus.
-I do not know what Orcus looks like either. But one thing is for certain, that Orcus is not some ‘space’ but more like an accumulation of ‘trials’. Everyone’s trials are applied differently. I do not know of the trials you will be facing. There would be no humans who have experienced the same trial as you before either.
-The trials provoke the weakest part of each human. That does make me wonder, what kind of trials would that arrogant human suffer through.
No one understood his vague words. Even now after we’ve entered Orcus.
All that we saw the moment we entered Orcus was the endless horizon just as same as the entrance.
We couldn’t even guess where we should be heading, but thankfully, there was a landmark
Unlike the surroundings without even a single stalk of grass, there was a forest of bleak trees rising high to the sky right before us.
And on top of that, it was split to make an entrance of some sort with a road in as if to inform us to ‘enter this way.’
Though we had no time to lose, we hesitated. There was not a single breeze, but we could hear chilling sounds of leaves of tall trees hitting each other. inside the dark forest.
It sounded like a wailing woman.
“How abou’ we think things through before goin’ in? Since I brought some o’ me potions, we can split some among ourselves according ter our taste…”
We stopped at once after hearing Roxa’s suggestion, hesitant to enter recklessly.
The parcel Roxa had been carrying out of Hades study like it was something precious.
He opened the heavy thing that was wedged on his side and sat on the bare ground.
There were numerous bottles of potions of various colors out of his parcel.
Abel and Deborah sat beside Roxa and looked at them with gleaming eyes.
Looking at them for a moment, I suddenly noticed Michael standing on the side without a word.
He was looking up at the sky with his eyes shaking for some reason.
Up at the night sky of Orcus were three moons shining, to be precise.
I approached him and asked, “What’s wrong?”
Flinching, Michael turned around to look at me. “No, it’s nothing…”
“It’s nothing? Who do you think you are hiding things from? You look so serious.”
“It’s nothing.”
“…”
Michael did not continue and kept his silence.
It seemed that he would not give me an answer no matter how I ask, so I did not push him further and stayed by his side.
He stood looking confused for a long while and waved at Deborah.
“Priestess Deborah.”
Deborah, who was taking a gander at Roxa’s potions, puckered her ears and rushed over at once.
“Hey now.”
Michael hoisted Deborah up and gave me a smile.
“I will have a little chat with my priestess. I will be right back.”
I wondered why he was still putting on the angel act when there was no need for it anymore, but…
Michael turned around with a casual look on his face and stepped away from me with Deborah in his arms, hiding his nervousness.
Looking at his back made me feel worried for some reason.
***
Michael stepped away from the crowd far enough so that their voices could not be heard. His face was as stern as it could get.
Deborah stayed quietly in his arms and rubbed her cheeks against his neck as if to cheer him up.
“What’s the matter, Grand priest?”
“Priestess Deborah.”
“Yes.”
“You must be very surprised. There must be a lot of things you would want to ask me about…”
Obviously so. The angelic Michael was acting violently as if some other soul has entered him.
Despite that, Deborah couldn’t feel any disparity from him at all. On the contrary, her suspicion that this is his true state had almost turned into conviction and she did not find that fact particularly unlikable.
Though the thug-like way of talking and the aggressive expressions were quite different from Michael she had known up to now, the inside was certainly still the Michael she knew.
Seeing his ‘honest’ side felt awkward but at the same time, it was pleasing too.
Deborah answered him shaking her head. “You don’t need to say anything if you don’t want to, but my love for you has not changed, Grand priest. Don’t you worry.”
“…”
Michael’s arms holding Deborah up bulged.
He managed to squeeze out a word from his mouth. “Thank you.”
“Sure.”
“I have a favor to ask of you, priestess. I am ashamed to ask, but can you listen to me?”
“A request? Sure. Anything I can do for you.”
“It’s something only you can do for me.”
Michael smiled and put down Deborah from his arms. Then he got on his knees to meet the puzzled Deborah at eye level and briefly closed his eyes to concentrate.
He was tying his own mana down to seal it away. The moment the mana swirling around his body was forcefully restrained, he could sense a jolt of pain in his chest.
Michael opened his eyes back and drew a slow breath.
“Did you bring that thing I told you to carry at all times, priestess?”
Michael asked and Deborah hesitantly took something out of her inner pocket.
It was a small dagger with a white handle and gold embroidery.
Despite its threatening purpose, it looked rather noble.
Looking at the dagger in Deborah’s tiny hands, Michael looked up.
Three moons in the sky.
It was a scene he had never seen before in the hundreds of lives he had lived in suffering, living eternity.
But in his memories, a sky with three moons in the sky remained with clarity.
-Kagh, please…
-Help, me…
Ruined body, wet face.
His lover in his memories died in his hands once again. in the most degrading and most horrific and cruel way.
No, this time probably not his lover in the form of Aisha, but his sibling Genus.
It was a horrific future he could read so clearly.
In order to avoid that, Michael decided to take away her life in advance this life as well but failed in the end.
‘Still, I was hoping it would not happen if we kill father first… but this is how it turns out in the end.’
Michael smiled bitterly.
The moment he entered Orcus deep in the night, he despaired.
Aisha’s face contorting in pain wasn’t the only thing he recalled from that shocking future.
Three moons in the sky.
He could not tell when and where the future where he kills Aisha in the most gruesome way took place, but he could tell one thing for certain.
That night sky had three moons up in the sky and he could not move on his own will.
‘So it was here.’
The tragedy would probably happen even before they could meet Gaionia.
No, it was almost certain.
Michael was lost in thought but smiled at Deborah as she held his hand looking worried.
“I am so sorry to be asking such a thing from you, but you are the only one who can make it happen, Priestess Deborah.”
“Okay, I will make it happen no matter what.”
Poor child.
I would have to pay the price for the sin I committed to you as well.
Michael slowly unbuttoned two buttons off the collar of his priest robe.
When he opened up the front to reveal the inside, Deborah’s eyes widened in surprise.
“…”
A black nexus. Proof of the curse. Though Deborah was still young, there was no way she didn’t know what that indicated.
“G-Grand priest…”
“I don’t know when but I will eventually become a monster.”
“…Huh?”
“A scary monster that puts good people in pain and kills them in the end.”
“G-Grand priest will? Why?”
“Because our Father has made me that way.”
“…”
Deborah held her breath stunned.
“Priestess, the duchess is my long-time sister.”
“…”
“Though I have dirtied my hands with blood numerous times, in truth I…”
As Michael’s voice slowly started to moisten up so did Deborah’s eyes.
“…I have never, gotten used to it even now.”
“Grand priest…”
Michael’s crying voice voice became muffled as could be.
Deborah patted his crumpled face with shaking hands, soothing him.
“I know all too well… what it is like to kill someone precious with my own hands… so I am all the more sorry to you, priestess.”
“…”
“But it’s just too, too painful. If I end up not only killing the person I love, but also my sister who has been by my side for a long time, I will truly, lose my mind.”
Michael closed his eyes tightly. The tears welled up in his eyes and finally rolled down his cheeks.
“Grand priest…”
Deborah’s tiny hands wiped away at Michael’s cheeks.
“Please, Priestess Deborah. if this sinner finally ends up becoming a horrid monster, then…”
Michael held Deborah’s hand holding the dagger and slowly raised it up to his nexus on the chest.
Though it was a cursed body that cannot even be killed before the killing, surprisingly there was no adverse reaction from the nexus when the tip of the sword slightly tapped on the nexus.
“…Would you, could you grant me rest?”