Act 3, Scene 3
It goes without saying, we pick the fanciest room in the fanciest hotel near the station! There's no way to pay for it and nobody to benefit from us paying for it, so we might as well take the best one!
It's only after we step into the penthouse suite that I start to feel a little self-conscious. Putting aside even the immoral feeling of stealing the key from behind the front desk, entering a hotel together with a girl is a bit…
"I'm taking a shower," Says Miyako without any hesitation - shedding her tattered blazer and placing it on a hanger, she beelines for the bathroom before I can even say anything, duffel bag in tow.
"-As expected, she's not even slightly concerned," I sigh. What the heck happened to the girl who was threatening to tear me to pieces for calling her 'Arima-chan' a few hours ago? Does she just not see me as a man, or what? "...Well, it's not like I'd do anything."
To start with, I've got Emilia and Rem to consider. And isn't that a deep consideration?
"Gaaah… alright, let's look at the kitchen," I mumble, trying to distract myself. Hopefully… yep, the fridge is stocked. I'm not sure if that's hotel policy or it's just that someone else was here before us, but… "A midnight snack that's still filling… oh, woah, there's sausage. Lucky!~ Scotch eggs it is!"
Frying is a no-go, but baking them isn't that hard. I got a little addicted to these things in England, so it's really fortunate I was able to learn the recipe. "Thanks, Emiya-senpai…" I mutter as I start the water boiling. I'm still not entirely sure what the redhead actually did (if anything) to help with the Von Krudik incident when Flat called him in, but the cooking lessons after completely excused whatever slacking off he did.
Carefully, so as not to scald myself, I drop two eggs into the water… no, let's go for four. Miyako was always a big eater, and my cup ramen earlier was a pretty light meal. And as I'm doing that-
*WHAM!* a loud noise, almost shaking the building resounds, followed by- *WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!*
Already I'm in motion. It's coming from the bathroom. I let my guard down, and now-!
-Right as I reach the door I realize it. I've seen this scene before, in every Anime I ever watched. And so, rather than barging in, I knock on the wooden door. "Micchan! I'm coming in if you don't say anything!"
"-Ah, I'm alright!" Her voice calls out over the sound of falling water. "It was just a ghost!"
Ah, I see… no, I don't see, but-!
The water cuts off, and I hear the sounds of her feet slapping wetly against tile, and the movement of a towel. "You know those scenes from horror movies, where suddenly hair comes out of the shower instead of water?" She asks, as if I can't imagine what's happening on the other side of the door. "That happened, so I yanked the ghost out and beat it up."
As she finishes her sentence, she opens the bathroom door, revealing her dressed in a tank top and baggy pants. She wraps a towel around her hair and pushes past me, duffel bag in tow. "You can go ahead and take a turn, if you want."
I glance briefly at the crater in the wall of the shower, with the vague appearance of a screaming face. Ah… a modern movie monster should have thought twice before picking a fight with a gorilla, they're classic monsters for a reason.
"Mm… I feel like I'm supposed to punch something now," Miyako mutters.
"Rather than that, come to the kitchen, I've got some food I'm working on," I say with a smile.
"Eh? Su-kun can cook? That's surprising." She asks. Hey, I at least hid my snide remarks!
"-Well, I was a butler for a little while, so I picked it up," I say. "I got this recipe from a Senpai in England, though."
"...Just what person is supposed to have ruined his life or whatever you were saying earlier?" Miyako asks with incredulity.
…Right, I guess I never explained the whole isekai situation to her. "Where do I start… 'When I returned from another world, I learned that Earth was actually an Urban Fantasy setting, and now I have to save the world!' - If I had to sell this story, I'd use a title like that."
"Su-kun was isekai'd!?" She shouts excitedly. "Did you defeat the demon king? Did a party member betray you and send you back? Was it a full reincarnation package or did you get transferred? What was your secret cheat skill? Did you save the villainess? Did you become the villainess?"
A complete barrage of questions! But… "I pretty much just blinked and I was there. There wasn't a Demon King, just various Witches… one of them showed up out of nowhere and sent me back to Earth. I tried shouting [Excalibur] when I got there, but nothing happened, so I'm pretty sure I don't have a cheat skill. And the Villainous Oujou-sama is such a piece of work that I can't imagine her ever needing someone to save her," I rattle off a mix of answers and fibs while leaving it vague enough to probably not create another rumor. "-Well, the important part is, I took a year off school as a butler and then a knight while over there, and it was pretty good for me, all things considered. Then after coming back to Earth and getting involved with the world of magecraft, I wound up having to get into a magical college in England, which is where I picked up this recipe from a senpai."
As I finish my simplistic explanation, I remove the shells from the now hard boiled eggs and begin wrapping sausage around them.
"...Ah, by the way Su-kun, you said you got this recipe from England, but isn't food from that country pretty infamously bland?" Miyako asks, eyeing my dish warily.
"Mm… That's kind of a misconception. According to Emiya-senpai, there's two parts that play into it - first, you've got the dishes that were invented in response to food rationing in the World Wars, like beans on toast, and those are supposedly pretty wretched," I say as I start preparing a panko coating. "-But as far as the traditional dishes go, they're just fine for the typical Japanese palate. In fact, we actually tend to use less spice than the British… but actually if I remember right, you were a huge Mapo Tofu fan, so…"
"Mhm. I prefer my food spicy," Miyako says with a nod.
I peek in the refrigerator. "Well, we've got black pepper and mayonnaise."
"It's been six years and you're still insisting that mayonnaise is a spice!?" She shouts.
***
"-So, how is it?" I ask.
"...It's ok," She admits after another bite.
I grin, dipping mine into the mayonnaise again. "Just good enough that you can't stop eating it, right?"
"Why can't I stop!? It's only slightly above good, but I can't stop eating it!?"
"That's pub food for you," I chuckle. "-Anyway, these should help us recharge a bit more than the noodles earlier. You can sleep first, by the way. You're more tired than me, after all."
Miyako gives a small yawn. "...Sure. Thanks, Su-kun."
After she brushes her teeth and heads to bed, I settle into a chair near the bedroom.
(For just a moment, I see something. A small black cat with red eyes slips into the room - but when I look for it, it's gone, and soon I forget completely.)
"...Alright, I'm staying awake a bit longer, so let's talk, Recorder," I say after some time.
"I suppose your continued survival hinges on my ability to keep you entertained, so I will do my best," He says, and I blink. This guy tells jokes?
"Rather than entertaining… I thought I'd take the opportunity to ask how much you're hiding from us," I say with a frown. "Obviously we can't go sharing everything with this damn rumor field in the singularity, but…"
"And yet, you seem perfectly willing to heap rumor upon rumor!" He says in his usual half-mocking, half-angry tone. "...For the time being I will tell you of my Noble Phantasm. I have no reason not to explain it, at this stage."
"You already used it in whatever fight you were having with Miyamoto's Saber, huh?" I ask.
"...You were aware, then," He says, giving what I assume is a frown under his mask.
"You didn't hide the tear in your clothes' shoulder well enough," I say. "I guess I can think of a few reasons why you said nothing, but…"
"If it's already known that I can be attacked directly here, there is no longer a reason for me to withhold it," He says with a shrug and a shake of his head. "-In any case, after that Saber's attack, I attempted to draw in and defeat our main foe for this incident, but he escaped by calling forth a rumor."
What!? "-That's freaking dangerous!"
"My Reality Marble, [Puppet Playground], exposes reality as it is - a sham, upon which Mystery and Magecraft dance like shadow puppets cast by human minds," He switches subjects… or not. "Outside of Miyamoto Iori's Saber, who is a special case… not one of the rumors created by that sham of a puppeteer can touch me. The issue simply comes with drawing him in again. He will not be able to call forth the Witch of Vainglory again, so if I can catch him one more time, that should finish things."
"The Witch of- were you soloing two final bosses while we were getting trained by Iori-san!?" I shout.
"No, I was running for my life from Saber while you were making friends with Miyamoto Iori," He says with some slight fury in his voice. "Pandora and That Man came after."
"...You really are putting in a lot of work, huh?" I ask. "Thanks, Recorder."
He glances away for a moment, thinking a bit before he finally speaks. "...I am not summoned often. Outside of the conflict that I faced Miyamoto Iori in, and this one… I have no other records. At that time, I gave my everything to achieve my wish, to verify if 'Hieda-no-Are' ever existed in the first place." He gives a small sigh, then looks directly at me. "-But, in this place, I have no such opportunity. The grail, the proof I seek, will remain out of my grasp. And so, left to my own devices… I am simply proving and disproving things as I please."
"So rather than working hard, you're just having fun," I say, smirking slightly.
"...Fun?" Recorder says, closing his eyes. "...I suppose that I am."