(The same day but after Kiefer was beat up, a gun was pointed at Jay's head, and kiezar and his men left, exept in this book, she didn't stumble or fall after they left. Because if I continue writing that whole scene too, I might get more ideas and drag this scene even longer..đâď¸)
Kiegan pov.
I was scared.
There, I said it. It's something I've been denying for a very long time. Kieran, and kuya need me to be okay. Because if I'm not, then I'll just be worrying kuya even more.
Sometimes, I really feel like a burden. Like maybe I should have just stayed with Kiezar Watson, my so called father, when he took me away. Atleast then kuya would have one less thing to care about...
Ever since kuya Kiefer revealed the plan to ate Jay to protect her, he's been drowning. He doesn't show it, atleast he tries not to, but I can see it. It's the same expression I wore every single day when that man forced me to do his dirty work. But now?
I'm even more terrified. Lately I've been losing control of myself. Like there's a part of my father, the version of him that he trained- or rather- forced me to be that's still living inside me. No matter how much I control, it's getting worse.
I'm trying. đI'm trying my best not to break. Not now. Not when he needs me.
Last time in the mini mart, I hurt ate Jay. And she's.... She's different from the other girls kuya has dated. Very different. Actually, she's different from all people all together. Kind, but also rude. Sweet, but also dangerous. She fights when she needs to, and stays silent when she wants to. That's something not most people do...
She didn't even seem mad at me for losing control. Instead she seemed... Concerned. For me. Even after I said those horrible things to her. Even after kuya hurt her. She still cares about me. She could have left me there. Or hurt me even more. Or even just not talk to me at all. But she didn't do any of that.
And that's what makes this worse. Because I don't WANT to hurt any of them. And somehow I end up doing it anyway.
Somedays are really hard. The days when I completely, fully myself. Those days are the worst as the guilt comes crashing down. Even more is the anger. I'm angry at kiezar for making me this, yes. But I'm even more angry at myself for allowing myself to follow his bloody, cruel, dark footsteps.
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Kuya Kiefer screamed, looking directly at ate Jay.
She didn't even look fazed. Just raised an eyebrow and didn't answer his question.
"Do you even know who you just challenged?" He demanded.
"I don't care, but if you want an answer I'd say a big scary bald dude?" She replied dryly.
Despite the situation, I had the sudden urge to laugh. Bald dude?
That's the thing about her, she always made others laugh, always was the sunshine, always breaking the tension. Probably why she was able to break Kiefer. He was a tension (no offence kuya. We love you.
)
After my mom, she was the only person I felt instantly comfortable with. Even though Kieran is like kuya and slightly grumpy, I can tell he finds comfort in ate Jay that no one else exept kuya Kiefer gave us. I could see it in the way he instinctively got closer to ate back in that room,in the way he clung to her hands. He would deny it and act like it didn't matter, but it did.
She was the only one who felt like a mother, and now? Now we were the reason she was breaking. Kuya chose us, he could only protect either us or her, and he chose us. And some days when the other part of me comes out, I think it was the right choice. But if it was, then why did it hurt this much? Why does it feel like I'm losing a mother all over again?
"Bald dude? That's Dylan! A professional hitman."
"Uhhh... Congratulations? Good for him?"
"He could have killed you!"
Suddenly, tears filled her eyes. She let out a quiet broken laugh. "Since when do you care? You already killed me in every way that mattered." Silence. The whole section looked down guiltily. Then she turned to me. "Kiegan. Can you come with me for a minute? I need to talk to you."
I nodded curiously and followed.
Jay pov.
We stopped a little distance away from them and I turned to him.
"Kiegan... Are you okay? I know you might be scared."
"I'm fine, ate. Thank you for what you did back there. But also, be careful around him. I don't want you to get hurt because of us."
I smiled.
"Listen, kiegan I need you to tell something to Kiefer for me. Can you do that." He tensed.
"What's wrong ate?"
"He's going to London to receive his inheritance right?" I asked. His eyes widened.
"How-I mean yes, but how do you know that?"
"That's not important. Just tell him to go as soon as possible. It's not safe for you all here. Also-" I hesitated before deciding to say it "There's someone there who can help you. Clovis Mathew. He's a lawyer and he owns a law firm. He specialises in custody and inheritance cases. I've already informed him about you, but you need to tell this to your kuya."
He panicked. "I- I can't. Can't you tell him yourself?"
"Do you think I can talk to him after everything that happened? Besides he wouldn't listen to me. Why would he? He doesn't even love me." Kiegan looked like he wanted to say something but stopped himself.
"I- I'm sorry. But I can't."
"Kiegan please-"
"I really can't." He repeated. "I don't trust myself enough to do it. What if the other part of me doesn't trust you? What if I end up conveying the wrong message? What if-"
"Kiegan. Stop. You can do it I believe you."
"But I don't trust myself enough to."
"I do. I trust you." I said firmly. I placed my hand on his shoulders and pressed a kiss on his forehead in a sisterly way, offering him the comfort he so desperately needed.
I don't know why I did it. Maybe it's the fact that this kid reminds me of myself whenever I lose control. Whenever I end up hurting people around me and wake up remembering nothing.
He nodded hesitantly. "O-okay. I'll do it." Relief that I wouldn't have to talk to him myself washed through me.
Clovis Mathew was my former employee. He used to work for my law firm jjm empire, but he wanted to start his own firm. So I helped him. And ever since then he really looks up to me. He'd do anything I ask in a heartbeat because he respects me.
We walked back to the them. "All of you. Listen carefully. I won't be coming to school for the next few days, or maybe even weeks. Don't look for me. Don't try to track me, you won't be able to find me anyway." Immediately section E started to protest. Concerns flying each and every way.
I forgive you all. Exept Kiefer. But for now, you will have to wait for me to come back.
"Please. This is not a game. Listen to me this once. I'll be back, and I'll be safe. Don't worry. And ci? I'll be there for your birthday too."
He immediately grinned his whole face lighting up. The others still looked unsure, but something about my tone must have convinced them, because they nodded hesitantly. "Thanks" I said, then I turned to leave but Yuri's voice stopped me.
"J-jay? The headmaster of our clan is coming the day after tomorrow. Please be there jay. I know you don't want to, but please Jay I'm begging you."
"So what if you're leader is coming? Why should I be there?"
Yuri looked confused. "Uhh... Because you're my fiance." He said.
Ohh.. right. I forgot about that stupid engagement.
"No. I don't want to."
"Please Jay? I'll buy you sushi. It's just one dinner Jay, then you can leave."
Did he really think I would- hold up. Did he say sushi? And dinner? Like free food?
I cleared my throat. I was still about to refuse, obviously. I wasn't going to fold for food. But Yuri looked like he was about to cry, so I felt bad and sighed and nodded. That's definitely why I agreed. Not for the sushi.
Maybe a little for the sushi.
Okay, definitely for the sushi.
He looked relieved. Kiefer, however, looked murderous. I don't care that's his problem.
"Jay? Just show him respect okay? We can't afford to make him angry. He controls more than half of Japan. He's very powerful, and you can't offend him, okay?"
I felt a flash of annoyance pass through me. He should be grateful I agreed to even show up (credits goes to sushi) and he's demanding me to behave on top of that? Unbelievable. I glared at him so hard, he actually flinched.
Do it for the sushi Jay. And free dinner. Free food.
"If he respects me, I'll respect him." Saying that, I turned and stalked away, knowing exactly where I was going.
The biking race arena.
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