Kakuzu stared at the brat before him who claimed to be the "head of security for the Daimyo's residence," while the black tendrils beneath his sleeves slowly writhed.
He had seen countless arrogant young people before.
Every last one of them had eventually become bounty money in his wallet.
The brat in front of him was merely another ignorant child who did not know his own limits.
"You were acting suspiciously near the Daimyo's residence. According to the security regulations..." Shin-chan lowered his head and searched through his pockets before pulling out a crumpled sheet of paper. "Alright, I made the security regulations up myself. But Rule One says suspicious individuals must submit to questioning."
"Rule Two," Kakuzu said as he silently appeared behind Shin-chan, "never lecture someone stronger than you about rules."
Black tendrils shot from his sleeves so quickly that they left afterimages in the air.
Shin-chan twisted aside and avoided the attack. The tendrils smashed a crater into the ground beneath him.
"Tell me what you were doing near the Daimyo's residence first."
"You think I'm going to tell you?" Kakuzu sneered.
The story about him throwing a shuriken at the First Hokage from eight hundred miles away had been mocked by people at the underground bounty exchange for years.
But that was because his opponent had been Senju Hashirama, the God of Shinobi. There was no shame in losing to him.
The opponent before him now was merely a twelve- or thirteen-year-old brat. If Kakuzu could not even deal with someone like this, he might as well write his name backward.
"Brat, do you know how long I've lived?"
"No."
"Seventy-seven years." Kakuzu's tendrils spread around his body. "I've killed more ninja than the number of meals you've eaten."
"Then you should be careful." Shin-chan pulled a kunai from his ninja tool pouch. "I'm really good at eating. Yesterday, I finished three huge bowls by myself."
"..."
Kakuzu formed hand seals.
Two masks separated from his back and floated around him. Each one represented a ninja he had killed and whose heart he had stolen.
The two masks opened their mouths at the same time as Wind and Fire chakra gathered inside them.
Shin-chan held his kunai horizontally in front of him.
"Two chakra natures. Mister, you're pretty impressive."
"Now you're afraid?"
"No." Shin-chan shook his head. "I was wondering why someone as talented as you would come here to steal from the Daimyo's residence. You'd probably make more money running an acrobatics troupe."
"..."
Kakuzu swept his hand forward without expression.
The Fire mask released raging flames, and the Wind mask immediately followed with a violent gale.
The wind strengthened the fire, causing the flames to expand into a massive wall that surged toward Shin-chan.
Composite Ninja Art: Blazing Wind Wild Wave.
It was one of Kakuzu's finest combination attacks. Countless jōnin had died beneath it.
The flames swallowed the place where Shin-chan had been standing, and the intense heat cracked the ground.
Kakuzu narrowed his eyes, waiting to see a charred corpse once the flames dispersed.
But when the fire faded, there was nothing there.
"He disappeared?"
Kakuzu quickly scanned his surroundings as the two masks turned in different directions.
The brat was crouching on a large tree ten metres away, still holding that damned chocolate stick between his lips.
"That was close." Shin-chan patted his chest. "Mister, your ninjutsu is way too flashy. You melted my favourite chocolate stick."
He lowered his head and stared at the half-melted chocolate stick in his hand.
"This was the last strawberry-flavoured one in the kitchen."
"How did you dodge that?" The corner of Kakuzu's eye twitched.
"I ran fast." Shin-chan jumped down from the tree. "But mister, you said you're seventy-seven years old, right?"
"That's right."
"Have you ever watched the sunset with someone important to you?"
Kakuzu's expression stiffened.
"Have you ever kept a flowering plant at home that needed to be watered every day?"
Kakuzu's expression became even stiffer.
"Then... have you ever woken up hungry in the middle of the night and discovered that the exact food you wanted was waiting in the refrigerator?"
Kakuzu's expression completely collapsed.
In seventy-seven years, all he remembered were the changing numbers on the bounty exchange board.
"..."
Kakuzu decided to kill the brat immediately.
Another mask separated from his back as Wind, Fire, and Lightning chakra intertwined in the air.
"You won't escape this time, brat."
He formed hand seals, and all three masks opened their mouths simultaneously.
Fire Style: Intelligent Hard Work.
Wind Style: Pressure Damage.
Lightning Style: False Darkness.
Three ninjutsu were released from three directions at once. Flames, violent winds, and lightning transformed into a destructive torrent that swept toward Shin-chan.
This time, the attack covered every possible direction in which Shin-chan could dodge.
Kakuzu sneered.
No matter how fast the brat was, there was no way he could escape the attack's range.
Boom!
A massive crater was blasted into the ground as shattered rocks and dust surged into the sky.
Kakuzu remained where he was, waiting for the smoke to clear so he could find the charred corpse.
"He disappeared again?"
His ninjutsu had covered every possible escape route. No matter how fast the brat was, he could not possibly have escaped without injury.
Unless...
"The Flying Thunder God Technique." Kakuzu's voice became heavy. "Just who trained you?"
"Uncle Hashirama, Uncle Tobirama, Grandpa Third..."
Before Shin-chan could finish, Kakuzu turned and fled.
After living for seventy-seven years, his greatest strength was knowing when to cut his losses.
A brat who could use the Flying Thunder God Technique was not worth the risk, regardless of whether he had truly been trained by three Hokage.
When you could not win, you ran.
That was the most important lesson Kakuzu had learned from surviving in the ninja world for more than seventy years.
"Mister, why are you running?" Shin-chan's voice came from behind him. "Tell me what you were doing near the Daimyo's residence first, and then I'll treat you to some sweets."
Kakuzu did not answer. He simply ran faster.
"Mister, if you keep running, I'll have no choice but to take action."
Kakuzu snorted coldly.
So what if the brat could use the Flying Thunder God?
As long as Kakuzu created enough distance, the brat would not be able to catch him.
After running several miles, Kakuzu stopped on the branch of a large tree and looked behind him.
There was no one there.
"Did I lose him?"
The brat was considerably faster than an ordinary jōnin, but he was still only a child. His stamina and speed should not last very long.
Kakuzu pulled the crumpled map from inside his robe again and began planning a new route.
"Caught you!"
Shin-chan's voice came from behind him.
"Supplementary Clause Two of Article Seventeen of the Security Regulations: Anyone who resists arrest and flees will receive a heavier punishment."
Kakuzu tensed his body and began calculating an escape route.
"...What does 'heavier punishment' mean?"
"You have to buy me chocolate sticks for an entire month."
Silence.
The wind blew through the forest, carrying several fallen leaves with it.
"You chased me all this way just for chocolate sticks?"
Shin-chan added, "You still have to confess what you were doing near the Daimyo's residence first."
Kakuzu closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
He had lived for seventy-seven years.
He had fought the First Hokage.
He had killed countless ninja.
He was a legend of the underground bounty exchange.
And now, he was completely helpless against a twelve-year-old brat.
"My name is Kakuzu," he said. "I came to the Daimyo's residence to rob the treasury."
"Oh." Shin-chan nodded. "Then you're under arrest."
~~~
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