The carriage was really cozy inside. It smelled like dried herbs. Sounded soft with silk. Snow was sitting next to me. She seemed calm and peaceful but in charge. Her maid, a woman with eyes, was sitting across from us.
Snow introduced us. She said
"Roxy, this is Alice Brook."
Alice manages Snow's vineyard. Then Snow said in a humming tone.
"Alice meets Roxy."
Alice smiled politely. Then she looked at my sleeve. Her face changed. She looked surprised and understanding. Her eyes got wide. She took a breath.
"Wait you're the adventurer who went into the waterways of Town Allure right? You're the one who brought medicines to the hospital when people were getting sick?"
I felt like everyone was staring at me. I didn't like it. I looked out the window at the countryside.
"It was something that needed to be done, Alice. The water needed to be cleaned up. People needed medicine. I just happened to be."
Alice didn't seem to believe me. She looked at me like I was a hero or something. She didn't say anything. The carriage just kept moving.
A couple of hours later we stopped in front of a farmhouse. The house was made of stone. There were rows of vines around it. The air smelled fresh and clean. It was totally different from the manor.
I got out of the carriage. Took a breath of fresh air. Inside the house it was warm and cozy. There was oak furniture and dried lavender. It reminded me in the Rynd Household,
This farmhouse consists of three rooms for the maids to stay in. It was a shared lodging, so it has six maids in total.
I saw a picture on the wall. It was a family photo from a time ago. Snow looked young and happy. She was standing next to a man I thought was Roman Calico. There were three boys, Calix, Constantine and Cassius. They looked like they were up to no good. Then there was a girl with silver hair, it was no other than White herself. She looked really fierce.
Snow stood next to me looking at the picture.
"That was ten years ago, It feels like a lifetime ago. So much has changed since then." she said. She sounded really sad.
She took us to the kitchen. There was a pot of chicken stew waiting. I sat down at the table with the people who worked at the house. The stew was okay. I felt at home.
The first spoonful was a test. I kept my face normal when the flavor hit my tongue. The broth was thin. It didn't taste like cooked bones. The chicken had a taste. It seemed like it was rushed into the pot before it was ready. It tasted like water and steeped parsley.
I swallowed carefully. I forced a nod toward the farmhouse cook. She was watching from the corner with eyes.
"It's a flavor, to whoever made this, this was a delicious meal "
I said. I didn't like the taste, it tasted like shit and yet my voice was smooth and practiced.
As I sat there I thought about my home. The contrast was really sharp. At my home the head cook, Sinel, treated every meal like a project. Her stews were famous. She made them with precision. The vegetables were cooked to brown. The broth was thick and rich. The meat was always so tender it just fell apart.
Beside me Alice noticed I was hesitating. She thought I was tired. She gently pushed the bowl closer. She was still holding it steady with a touch that made me want to be polite.
"You're not eating much. Is it not good? We wanted to make sure it was nourishing." she said. She sounded worried.
"It's fine Alice. Really. I'm just... Still getting used to the pace of the countryside." I said, not telling the truth. I pushed a chunk of potato around the bowl.
I took another bite. I pretended to enjoy the herbs. I couldn't. I thought about Singles pepper and rich stocks. Back at my home a bad meal was not okay. Here in this farmhouse this okay bowl of stew was the best they had.
I realized I wasn't just missing the food. I was missing the standards, the order and the quiet excellence of my life.
I forced a smile. I looked at Alice.
,"It's very... Filling."
As I was eating I felt someone standing behind me. It was Alice. She was watching me looking really guilty. Before I knew what was happening she had picked up a spoon. She was trying to feed me.
,
Alice said, looking at me like I was a kid.
,
"You don't have to struggle, Roxy. Let me help you."
I was really surprised. I felt my face get hot. I pulled away shaking my head.
"I appreciate it Alice, I have been taking care of myself since I lost my arm. I can still do everything I need to do. I can feed myself." i asked and appearing calm
I took the spoon from her. I went back to eating. I wanted to show her that I was still capable with one arm.
I took a bite of the stew. It was really bland. My throat felt tight. It wasn't because of the taste. It was because I was thinking about how different this farmhouse was from the life I used to have.
My fingers that were holding the bowl started to shake a little. Alice didn't move away. She saw that my fingers were shaking. Her eyes became softer. She sat down beside me on the bench. I could feel her presence.
"You don't have to pretend, Roxy. You have been taking care of everything by yourself for so long that you have forgotten what it is like to have someone take care of you. You think that if you let someone help you, the strong person you have become will break."
She took the spoon from my hand. It was a move. She picked up a piece of food. Blew on it before bringing it to my lips.
"I know this stew is not as good as the food you used to eat at the manor, I know it is not comfortable compared to the halls you are used to. Please for a moment let someone else take care of you." Alice said. Her eyes were shining with kindness.
The way she spoke was very sincere. I felt like I couldn't defend myself against her kindness. When she brought the spoon to my lips I didn't say no. I opened my mouth. Let her feed me. It didn't feel like she was treating me like a child. It felt like she was reminding me that I am still a person who can receive help.
As I swallowed the food Alice wiped my mouth with a cloth. Her touch stayed on my face for a little longer than it needed to.
"You have given so much to people who don't even know your name, You have done much to help our city and our water. You are the reason we're still here to eat this meal. Letting us help you is the way we can say thank you to you Roxy." she said. Her voice was soft. Her thumb touched my cheek.
I leaned into her hand. A tear fell from my eye. I was so tired of being the one who always had to be strong. Sitting in the farmhouse being taken care of by Alice I finally felt like I could stop being strong. I was not the Savior of Rebelbub or the Slayer of the Goblin King. For a time I was just Roxy and that was okay. I was Roxy.
The room was really quiet except for the sound of a spoon hitting the side of a bowl. Snow was sitting across from us. She hadn't eaten much of her food. Her hands were folded nicely on the table. As she watched Alice help me with my food Snow seemed to relax a little. Alice was not just helping me like a servant. She was like someone who really cared about me.
Snow looked at us with sadness in her eyes. She didn't seem upset that Alice was being so informal. Instead she looked like she was remembering something. She was watching Alice take care of me. It seemed like she wished she could have done the same for her kids. To keep them safe and happy even if it was for a little while.
Snow's eyes looked at the sleeve on my shoulder. Then back at my face. I wasn't hiding my feelings as well as I used to. She smiled a little. It was a smile.
Snow said to me with a wholesome voice.
"You see, Roxy, even the strongest things need to be taken care of sometimes. You have been fighting for long, you forgot what it is like to have someone take care of you."
She leaned forward putting her chin on her hand. Her silver hair fell over her shoulder like moonlight. She didn't look at me like she was judging me. Like a mother who understood me.
Snow said, she said it like a proverb that came straight into the dictionary.
"Alice is really good at seeing things that other people miss. She knows that a hero is someone who hasn't been able to stop fighting. I'm glad you are letting her help you. It makes me happy to see you being human again, not a warrior."
Snow did not try to make me look at her or talk about how I was feeling. She just sat there being quiet and kind. Her presence made me feel safe like she was looking out for me. For a queen who had lost a lot in the war it seemed like seeing me accept some kindness made her feel a bit better. It was like it gave her some peace of mind. That was something winning a battle could never give her.