I stepped back, leaning against a clean patch of wall to let them have their reunion. After a minute or two of them just crying and reassuring each other, I walked over and gently knelt beside her.
"Mrs. Grayson? Why don't you let me hold the little guy so you can talk to Mark properly?"
Debbie looked at me, her eyes full of gratitude. She carefully transferred the purple toddler into my arms, turning her full attention back to the screen.
I stood up, holding Oliver securely against my chest. The kid looked up at me with massive, curious eyes, entirely unbothered by the glowing TV or the faceless hero. He reached up with a tiny, chubby hand, trying to grab my nose.
A sharp pang of nostalgia hit my chest out of nowhere. I adjusted my grip, holding him the same way I used to hold my Angy when she was still a little baby and I tried to act as a responsible older brother.
'God… I still miss her.'
"You're a tough little bugger, aren't you?" I whispered, letting him wrap his tiny fingers around my thumb, while Pepsiman tried to make faces, only to realize he had no face.
Eventually, the tears on the screen slowed down.
"Mark," Debbie said, wiping her eyes. "John said he was going to bring you to us. Where exactly are you right now?"
On the screen, Mark sniffled, wiping his nose with his forearm. "I'm in John's universe, Mom. It's complicated. But you need to get back here soon, John. Things got insane while you were gone."
I looked away from Oliver, my gaze locking onto the screen. "Define insane, Mark. I don't think our definition of the word would match"
Mark took a deep breath. "About an hour after you left, a Viltrumite scout group showed up at the farm across the lake to take Thula and conquer the planet."
My eyes narrowed. "Are you shitting me? Did they hurt Thula? Debbie?"
"No, everyone is fine!" Mark quickly reassured me. "Actually... the Viltrumites were delt with rather easily. Zack and Zoe suffocated the fat one, Brit punched a hole straight through the bald guy's stomach and… and Mark… your universe's Mark, crippled Anissa."
I blinked, genuinely surprised. "Damn. I leave you kids unsupervised for half a day and they wipe out an elite hit squad? I'm buying Zack and Zoe a new Watchtower knockoff. Hell, I'm buying Brit a goddamn brewery."
"Yeah, about that..." Mark hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck. He looked incredibly uncomfortable. "It didn't exactly end there. Seba— I mean Sir Sebas intervened before your Mark could kill Anissa."
"What did the old man do now?" I asked, a headache already forming, trying to understand what this new problem was.
"He healed her just enough so she wouldn't die in space," Mark explained, his voice dropping a bit. "And then he told her to go back to Viltrum and warn Grand Regent that the 'Great Betrayer' and the 'legacy of the betrayed' were on Earth. I… I think he openly challenged the entire Viltrum Empire to come to Earth, John."
I froze and just stared at the television screen in silence.
"What in the deep-fried, sect master challenge fuck. Does he think I'm some young master?"
My mind started spinning. Why the hell did Sebas just paint a massive neon target on our planet? I knew exactly how Thragg operated. Dropping the lore bomb about Argall's heir and the Great Betrayer being on Earth meant that it was a certainty that Thragg would take the bait. And now the strongest motherfucker in the universe was coming to destroy earth.
Every surviving Viltrumite fleet was probably locking their crosshairs onto my front porch right this second.
Dozens of angry supermen turning Earth into a parking lot.
'Jesus fucking Christ, Sebas. There has to be a limit to your confidence in me.'
"John?" Mark asked nervously. "Are you okay? You look sick."
"I'm fine," I lied, forcing a strained smile. "Just processing the fact that I have to go to war with the most powerful military in the universe when I get home. It's fine."
I was about to command Ship to merge with me again, but a sudden sound echoed in my mind.
In a moments notice, a loud symphony of jackpot bells, slot-machine sirens, and golden fanfares started going off all at once. It sounded like the Jackpot noises I heard in RNGesus's Pachinko Parlour.
A massive blue holographic screen materialized directly in front of my face and the text began to scroll.
[Feat Achieved! Make Angstrom Levy fear you]
[Reward: +1x Gold Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Defeat and capture Angstrom Levy (escaped)]
[Reward: +1x Gold Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Stop Angstrom Levy's invasion with no casualties]
[Reward: +1x Platinum Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Discover a way to travel the Multiverse without Gacha assistance]
[Reward: +1x Diamond Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Flex on a Fortnite lobby with the Orange Justice emote mid-fight]
[Reward: +1x Bronze Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Perform for a disembodied audience]
[Reward: +1x Bronze Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Win the hearts of a group of Anime schoolgirls]
[Reward: +1x Silver Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Kill (or defeat?) a Wasteland Warlord]
[Reward: +1x Bronze Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Kill 1,000 Zombies]
[Reward: +1x Silver Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Assist Donkey Kong]
[Reward: +1x Bronze Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Chase someone through the Multiverse]
[Reward: +1x Gold Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Set up a network of Dimensional beacons in the Multiverse]
[Reward: +1x Gold Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Invade the realm of Omnipotus]
[Reward: +1x Platinum Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Mock Omnipotus' Monologue and survive]
[Reward: +1x Platinum Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Ragebait Omnipotus into attacking you and survive]
[Reward: +1x Diamond Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Survive the full-power attack of Omnipotus]
[Reward: +1x Legendary Random Gacha Ticket]
The text stopped scrolling and the system began to violently glitch as the text burned with a rainbow light that nearly ruined my eyes.
[Feat Achieved! Kill a higher being (Omnipotus) in a single hit]
[Reward: +1x Mythical Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Indirectly save several dimensions from the threat of Omnipotus]
[Reward: +1x Legendary Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Have a major impact on the local Multiverse]
[Reward: +1x Legendary Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Eat a nuke to the face (literally)]
[Reward: +1x Silver Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Resurrect Lois Lane and Superman's unborn child]
[Reward: +1x Legendary Random Gacha Ticket]
The screen glitched again in a shower of rainbow sparks.
[Feat Achieved! Save Superman from going down a dark path]
[Reward: +1x Mythical Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Kill the Joker]
[Reward: +1x Diamond Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Kill Harley Quinn]
[Reward: +1x Platinum Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Deadname the Batman]
[Reward: +1x Silver Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Tell Batman that he can go stuff it]
[Reward: +1x Silver Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Save Gwen Stacy]
[Reward: +1x Diamond Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Kill the Green Goblin]
[Reward: +1x Platinum Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Reveal all the spoilers to Spider-Man]
[Reward: +1x Legendary Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Massively alter Peter Parker's fate as a fuck you to Marvel Editorial]
[Reward: +1x Legendary Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Give Peter Parker an anxiety attack]
[Reward: +1x Gold Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Save Debbie and Oliver]
[Reward: +1x Gold Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Defeat and immobilise Angstrom Levi]
[Reward: +1x Platinum Random Gacha Ticket]
[Feat Achieved! Have your familiar issue a challenge to the Viltrumite-fucking-empire]
[Reward: +1x Platinum Gold Random Gacha Ticket]
I stared at the screen as my gambler brain basically did a hard factory reset.
Platinum tickets, legendary tickets. Mythical Tickets. I didn't even know the system could generate this quality at this quantity.
The system had logged every single second of my chaos across DC, Marvel, and everywhere in between. The sheer absurdity of the payout hit me every single pleasure centre all at once.
The rush of unfiltered gacha degenerate dopamine slammed into my brain so hard my knees almost gave out. I completely forgot about the galactic war, the Viltrumites, and the impending doom. All that mattered were the shiny, glowing jpegs of unlimited power currently sitting in my inventory.
I physically swayed backward, my vision swimming with rainbow light and slot machine symbols.
I was about to hit the floor when a metallic hand clamped onto my shoulder, holding me steady.
I looked back only to find Pepsiman standing there, effortlessly supporting my weight. The silver mascot slowly shook his head in disappointment.
"Pepsi," he whispered, practically demanding I pull my shit together.
I swallowed hard, blinking rapidly to clear the stars from my eyes. I adjusted Oliver in my arms and stood back up straight
I was sitting on a dragon's hoard of reality-warping Gacha tickets.
And realising that a slow smirk spread across my face.
I looked at the television screen, locking eyes with Canon Mark.
"Tell you what, Mark," I said. "How about we take a little rest, patch up your home, and then we get you home? It sounds like we have an Empire to welcome to Earth."
[A/N]:
If you want to read Chapters in advance, check out my P@treon - Max_Striker.
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