Night,
Rayne was still really sick. I was glad we were done with the whole fucked up drama of the Savages and the Devil's Hogs. Although, I do have to tell her something when she is well and more alert. I need her to be able to not panic and know that we all, and especially me, have her back.
Shannon brought me bottles of formula that we put in the mini fridge in my room. There is a bottle warmer as well. She tried to explain how often Hope would want to eat, and I would have to change her diaper, but I will confess I probably only caught half of that shit.
I know her and Bones are only a phone call away if I get into a real pickle here. Just then I hear Hope start to stir and let out little sounds, so I go to the fridge and get a bottle, put it in the warmer, and make sure it's on.
With the danger over we were able to lift the lockdown and let people go home. We will still be extremely vigilant about everything, but we should be in the clear. I sent some prospects to the store on a supply run, for diapers that would actually fit my girl, and a bunch of baby stuff. I had Shannon make a list and sent it with them.
So, I go to the bassinet thing and look down at her. Her eyes are open but I am not sure how well she sees me. I pick her up and she is so tiny and light in my arms I want to be sure and be careful with her.
I managed to finally get her into a clean diaper, and I will not say how long that took. Then her bottle was ready and she was getting fussy, so I got her fed. It's a testament to how much Rayne is out of it, and how sick she is, that she slept through all of it.
Hope drops off back to sleep fairly quickly after she eats, but I do just hold her and watch her for a bit. It seems she does the same back at me, but she was making these cute little noises, and it made me smile to hear her.
After she's back to sleep I kick off my boots and most of my clothes, I do keep my boxers on. I crawl into bed next to Rayne. I again pull her close to me and just hug her gently so as not to hurt her stomach.
Once again, that whispered, "Night", does things to me that I can't explain. "Yeah, baby it's just me. I've got you, you're safe. Just sleep sweetheart, I'll keep you safe." I hope she can hear me and understand. I think she does cause she relaxes against me.
Sometime later I am woken by a sound. I listen thinking it's Hope and she's awake, but then I hear Rayne whimper, and I pull her to me tighter.
"Hey there baby, you're safe, Not sure what you're dreaming about, but right now you are here, in my arms, and you are safe."
She opens her eyes. She sees me but she has that fever haze in her eyes, so not sure how much is all computing right now.
"When I was little I had to work. If I could physically do it, then I did. I had to earn my keep but I was too young for other avenues of income. So every day I worked and cleaned and did chores and everything."
I just listened, my heart breaking for her, "I didn't have a room, just a thin dirty old twin mattress on the cement floor of an old storage room. The back corner was mine. That's where Hope was born. I was so scared she would die because of something I did or didn't do. I read a book from the library about home births and tried to be prepared."
I was floored that this woman, not much older than a child probably, had been put in a situation like that. Not just that, but she prepared as best she could, she faced it, and she did it, obviously, our daughter is proof.
Her eyes have closed again and her breathing has deepend so I know she's back to sleep. I am glad she's not having her nightmare but I will try to be alert for that.
Hope starts to whimper so I get up and get my girl. By the time she is changed, fed, and back to sleep, I am tired.
So, once again I crawl in with my woman, just happy to have her in my arms. It doesn't take me long to be out.
I am awoken and just stay still for a second, "He didn't sell me until I was 13. He said I had to be a teenager because they wouldn't touch any little kids. I thought I was going to die. Blood's VP, Buzzard liked it best when he could hurt me. He's like that with all the girls, he likes to hand out pain. I always dreamed of a day I would be able to give it back."
I know she has no idea what she's telling me, but I just let her talk, "When I was coming here, I knew I didn't have shoes. So, I walked in the street most of the way cause they are plowed so not so much snow to walk through. It was cold, but I hoped maybe I could make it. I needed my girl safe."
"She's safe sweetheart. You did a really good job, and you got here. Your feet will be just fine, and so will the rest of you. We will get you well, and you never have to live like that again. I will never hurt you baby, I swear it." I just whispered against her ear hoping she could hear me and register what I said.
"Blood doesn't know it, but I know all of his secrets, I know everything." She closes her eyes and slurs the last part a bit.
All I can think is well, fucking hell, that's a bombshell. Now what exactly does she know?