My hands started shaking. I saw the message, but I still couldn't wrap my head around what it said.
This was exactly what I was afraid of. Just when I thought I had escaped him and his horrible games, he was starting to pull my strings again. He was going to try and control my life all over again, turning me into his puppet.
"How did I fall back into this?" I thought gloomily, feeling the tears start to roll down from my cheeks.
I couldn't even stand the thought of talking to him; even just hearing his name was enough to trigger me. Earth was the devil in a human form.
I thought I had moved past what happened and grown stronger, but this one message made it hard for me to even stand up. My heart was pounding as I quickly tried to call First. I couldn't be alone right now. I really shouldn't be.
First's phone was unreachable—his battery probably died. I called Bee next, but her line was busy. As a last resort, I called Ten with a tiny bit of hope, but it was no use; he just didn't answer. What were they doing exactly to not answer my calls?
I felt more alone than ever, and I didn't have the strength to calm myself down. It was getting hard to breathe, and I felt a tightness in my chest. The panic attacks were about to begin again after all of those years.
Feeling like the dorm was suffocating me, I quickly threw on a cardigan, grabbed my phone, and walked out.
I started walking straight down the road without looking where I was going, heading down that dark path all by myself without stopping.
After walking for a long time by myself, I realized I got lost, I had no one left to call, and on top of that, my phone had finally died.
Feeling exhausted, I sat down on the edge of the sidewalk. I didn't have the energy to head back to the dorm at that moment. As a last resort to find some peace, I looked up at the star-filled sky. Since there were no lights around, the stars were shining brightly.
There was a full moon. The moonlight was bright enough to see by, and it made me feel a little less lonely. My throat felt tight; I knew I had to be strong and stop crying. I took a deep breath, and as the tears kept falling, I started talking to the moon.
"I wish I were as bright as you, and just as far away from people. Maybe then I'd be at peace, being a light for others while I stayed in my own orbit. Trust me, you also wouldn't want to be the 'Moon' living here on Earth."
While I was pouring my heart out and trying to quiet my sobs, a beam of light caught my eye, getting closer and closer. It was a car; it had its high beams on and pulled over to the side.
The man walking in front of the car looked like nothing but a black shadow because of the light. I couldn't figur out his face or who he was.
I tried not to look that way, sniffing as I kept crying quietly to myself. Then, I felt a jacket being draped over me to block the cold night breeze. I didn't turn around; I didn't have any energy left to fight or protect myself anymore.
"You shouldn't be here crying all alone. You should be with your friends, letting them support you while you let it all out,"
the man that gave me his jacket said.
The voice was familiar—I knew exactly who it was. I just didn't want to turn around and get into another argument with him as always.
"How did you find me?" I asked, wiping away my tears.
"Just to let you know, I wasn't looking for you. For some reason, you just manage to cross my path every single time. I was heading out of town to handle some business, but I guess you and your long legs are faster than me and my car."
That sudden comparison made me let out a tiny laugh despite being sad.
I finally turned around and tapped the sidewalk next to me twice, signaling for P'Sun to sit down. He leaned down and sat beside me. He looked around for a bit.
There were no other cars on the road, the air was breezy and cold; and the sides of the road were lined with big, leafy trees.
There wasn't a single street lamp in sight, everything was as dark as a black hole. The only thing fighting back the creepy darkness was that white sphere I talked to in the sky.
Once Sun got used to the quiet, eerie atmosphere, he turned to me.
"Tell me, why did you come all this way by yourself? Do you know how worried your friends would be if something happened to you right now?"
I shrugged and looked at the ground.
"I called my friends, but they didn't answer. I just kept walking until my mind cleared, and by the time I realized I had no energy left, I found myself here.
My phone died, so calling a taxi wasn't an option anymore. So, I just sat down and kept talking to myself."
"I see. Well, if it's not too personal, can I ask what happened this time? It feels like you're in one of those moments where you just need to vent," Sun said after listening to me carefully.
Thinking it was useless to avoid this question any longer, I started to explain the whole situation after taking a deep breath.
"Earth messaged me after all these years. He accused me of keeping guys in my request list on purpose to talk with them later.
But according to him, I didn't need to worry because he deleted everyone's requests and blocked them one by one as he has permission to go on my account now. He says it's either him or nobody else in my life. He said he won't 'allow' it."
Sun stayed silent for a while, then pulled his gaze away from the sky and looked me straight in the eyes. The softness from a moment ago was gone, replaced by a confused, serious look.
"Moon, what you're telling me doesn't sound very believable if I got to be honest." he said, his voice flat.
"So I of course let him handle the job, and right after everything is done, he sends you a message like that? It doesn't make any sense for me."
I looked at him in shock. "Why would I lie, Sun? Why would I walk all this way while being shattered like this? You really have no idea what kind of person that prick called Earth is!"
Sun sat up a bit straighter and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Look, I'm the one who let Earth clean up that account. He reached out to me to help us out, and he seemed perfectly professional at the time.
I was trying to do something good for both of us, and now you're telling me he's some kind of monster. I came up with that taxi lie at the hospital because I needed to control the situation before you clapped back to me, but right now, what you're saying just feels like a drop of your imagination."
My sadness turned into pure disappointment. He wasn't making fun of me, but it was clear from every word that he didn't believe what I said.
"I was finally brave enough to pour my heart out to you, and you're saying I'm making this up? You're the one who dragged him into this, but as you can see I'm the one that is paying the price right now!"
Sun stood up and looked at me without showing any emotion.
"I'm the one who worked with him, and I didn't see him do anything wrong that is what I am saying. I think you're just projecting your stress and exhaustion onto him. Now, lets get up, I'll drop you at the dorm. I don't want anything happening to you as your Phi, but I don't think what you told me reflects the actual truth. Maybe you should calm down and look from a different perspective for now."
I ripped his jacket off and tossed it back at him. Sun's distant and rude attitude had completely killed my moment of vulnerability. We didn't say a single word to each other all the way to the car.
~~~
The silence in the car was so heavy that even the sound of the engine felt like a roar. Sun gripped the wheel tightly, speaking without taking his eyes off the road. His voice still carried that same distant, robotic tone.
"If those messages are really as bad as you say," Sun said, shooting me a quick glance through the rearview mirror. "Turn on your phone and show them to me.this is such a serious situation, so I want to see the proof. Only then can I say you're right."
My hand went to the dead phone in my pants pocket, but I didn't pull it out. Something inside me felt frozen. I had just shared my most vulnerable moment with him, and he had treated me like a liar. Now, he was expecting proof like he was doing me a favor.
"You want to see them?" I asked, forcing my voice to stay steady. "If what I just told you wasn't enough, then you don't deserve to see the messages either, P'Sun. I don't have to prove anything to someone who doesn't believe me."
Sun gave a slight nod, an expression on his face that said, 'You're hiding something again.'
"If you show me, I can help you, Moon. I just need to be sure that is all."
"I don't want your help." I snapped at him.
"If you need to see a few words on a screen to believe my word, then we have nothing left to talk about right now. Don't bother stopping the car; let's just get to the dorm in silence."
Sun didn't say another word. For the rest of the ride, I stared out the window.
The moonlight was still lighting up the atmosphere, but it didn't bring me peace anymore.
His skeptic reactions had taken the very last bit of trust I had left in people that I gained hardly.
I realized once again how pointless it was to try and explain myself; no matter what I said, everyone would only believe the "truth" they wanted to see.
~~~
-Author's POV-
After a long and silent drive, they finally arrived in front of the dorm. Moon didn't say a single word, but his silence spoke volumes.
Sun unlocked the doors and turned on the hazard lights to let Moon out.
"Take care of yourse—" Sun started to say, but Moon cut him off before he could finish.
"Take care, P'Sun," he said, without even turning to look at him. He opened the car door, stepped out, and stood there for a moment, watching the car as it slowly drove away.
Just as he was about to head up the entrance steps to go to sleep, he saw First pacing back and forth anxiously with his phone to his ear.
"Is something wrong, P'First?" Moon asked, approaching him from behind.
First jumped at first, but once he realized it was Moon, he rushed over, straightened Moon's clothes, and pulled him into a hug. He started stroking Moon's hair firmly.
"Yes, the problem is you, Moon. You called all three of us but we missed it, and then you didn't pick up when we called back. Do you have any idea how worried I was?" he said, holding his cousin—whom he loved like a brother—tightly.
"Oh, yeah, I called. I went for a walk and my phone died. I'm sorry for calling and then not getting back to you." Moon sounded soulless as he spoke, like a porcelain doll.
"Why are you apologizing? You can call at five in the morning or while I'm in the shower; it wouldn't bother me or your friends. That's why we're together, that's why we're friends, right? Please, don't pull away from us."
"Okay, fine." Moon felt like he should be moved by those words, but not a single muscle in his face moved.
They both went inside their room and changed. While Moon sat silently in the living room, First came back with two mugs of tea. He gently handed a mug to Moon and sat on the floor by Moon's knees.
"Tell me, what happened? I hope it's nothing bad."
Moon took a sip of tea, set it down on the coffee table, and locked his fingers together.
"P'First, I really guess he's back."
First froze mid-sip. The sudden sentence made him choke on his tea, and he started coughing in a panic.
"What do you mean he's back? For what reason? By what right?!"
"He's just back. That's it."
"He can't be. We won't let him come back."
A bitter smile appeared on Moon's face. He knew that no matter what they did, it would be useless.
"Yeah, I wasn't strong back then, but I feel even weaker now, P'First. I don't even have the strength to get up and walk away."
First gave Moon's arm a friendly nudge as Moon stared off into the distance, lost in thought.
"The only thing you need to 'get up' and do right now is go to your room and sleep. You need rest. As your older brother, I'm ordering you to go to bed!" First said, trying to distract him with a playful tone.
Moon turned his distant gaze toward First. Even if he didn't smile with his face, he smiled with his eyes.
"Goodnight, P'First. I wish us both a good sleep. I'm going to need it."
"We Moon, we're going to need it. Goodnight."
~~~
Morning had arrived; Moon, Bee, and Ten had already finished their early classes. Now, they were tucked away in a corner, waiting for First's lecture to end.
While they were waiting for the professor during their first class, Moon had filled them in on everything exactly as it happened regarding the recent incidents with both Sun and Earth.
There was no room left for hesitation or laziness this time. He had to stand up for himself.
"So, that jerk really did that to you and P'Sun didn't believe a single word?" Bee asked.
"Let's just say he didn't even need to believe you because he is a jerk, but the way you rejected him when he asked to see the messages... it really warmed my heart. This is exactly why we're friends!"
Ten said, throwing an arm around Moon as if he was dazed.
Moon gave Ten a jokingly judgmental side-eye and took a sip of the coffee he had filled his thermos with that morning.
At the same time, he was scouting the area to see if First was coming. He wanted to head out for lunch immediately.
As the three of them were deep in conversation, First came up from behind and lunged at Ten, throwing his arms around him as if he were trying to choke him.
"Hey, that hurt, P'First! I'd be shocked if you ever made a normal entrance just once!"
Bee laughed at Ten's sudden outburst, then quickly pulled First down and forced him to sit.
"Before we get up from here, tell us, P'First—what's on the agenda for today? What gossip did you bring us?"
Confronted with Bee's excited face, First couldn't help but laugh and pointed his finger at her.
"I wish you'd show this excited side to the people you try to flirt with by acting all cool, Bee!"
Bee rolled her eyes and gave First a light shove. He was right though, and she knew.
"By the way, I actually do have some really important gossip, but I'll tell you when we get to lunch. And before I explain, I need to get a vow from you all on something."
Because of First's words, the three of them stared at him like startled ducklings. While they were bursting with curiosity, begging and pleading for him to tell them now, First grabbed them all by the arm and dragged them toward the restaurant.
When they reached the restaurant, the three of them were still so curious that they didn't take their eyes off First for a second.
They didn't even look at the menu so they wouldn't get distracted; they just ordered whatever First ordered.
First must have been enjoying the situation, as watching them squirm without saying a word seemed to bring him genuine joy.
"Just get us to make whatever vow it is and tell us already, P'First!"
Ten said in a whiny tone.
With Moon and Bee nodding as if to say "yes" to what Ten said, First finally lowered his guard.
"Alright, fine. I don't want any objections or 'buts' about what I'm about to say. Everyone has to agree."
"Why are you dragging this out? Fine, just say what it is." Moon said, raising his eyebrows.
"Repeat after me: 'We swear that we will participate in the university event we applied for, which will take place during the mid-term break.'"
The three of them looked at each other with confused faces at first, but they didn't drag it.
What was the worst reason he could have for making them take such a simple vow? It was probably just so they wouldn't abandon him and leave him alone.
The three of them repeated in unison:
"We swear that we will participate in the university event we applied for, which will take place during the mid-term break."
After they took the vow, First took a deep breath and continued his explanation.
"Okay, you wanted the gossip, right? Actually, rather than gossip, I have three big news. It won't be easy for you to accept them all as it is."
"Just spit it out and let's all be at peace, P'First. Don't worry, we won't bite."
Moon said, resting his face in his hands, watching him with an air of boredom.
"Then let me start the conversation like this. Do you want the good news, the bad news, or the worst news first?"
Ten excitedly raised his hand like an elementary school child wanting to answer a teacher's question.
"Me, me, me! Tell the good news first, P'!"
First grabbed Ten's raised finger and mockingly pulled it down.
"The good news is that the groups for the university event have been determined, and the accommodation will be arranged among the groups."
Bee and Ten locked hands and started shaking them excitedly. As squeals of joy rose between them, Moon turned to First.
"Okay, that's actually good news. But are we all in the same group?"
First swallowed at first, but gave his answer without overdoing it.
"Yes, we are in the same group."
Moon was surprised; without hiding his expression, he asked the question he was curious about.
"Uh, I thought the bad or worst news would be being in separate groups. So what's the bad news then?"
While Bee and Ten were giggling excitedly, Moon's sudden question made them turn serious again, and they continued to interrogate First like spies.
First couldn't quite form the sentence in his head; even though the words were spinning around, he didn't have the slightest idea how to best convey the situation.
"Now... the thing is, the bad news is the other people participating in this event..."
As First was struggling to finish his sentence, their table got occupied with another students.
It was Sun, Wee, Bank, and Mint.
While Ten and Bee looked at them in shock, Mint sat next to Bee, Wee sat next to Ten. While Bee was full of joy, Ten rolled his eyes, not giving a single peak to Wee.
Sun was just about to sit next to Moon, just like he usually annoyed him on a normal day, then First let out a cough to draw attention to himself and warn Sun.
With First's sudden warning, Sun -willingly or not- moved to sit next to First. Bank, as a last resort, sat next to Moon, right across his own classmate First.
Moon was no longer in a position to approach Sun with an aggressive attitude. Before, they had a bit of an acquaintance, so he acted mostly like that.
But now, he felt more distant from him than even when they hadn't met at all.
He gave no reaction when they sat down; he just gave Mint a nod of greeting and continued listening to First.
"Well, P'First? You didn't finish. Who else is coming?" Said Moon.
First rolled his eyes, frowned as if he had a headache, and finally spilled the secret.
"The people who just sat down at our table are also participating in the event."
Bee was about to hit the roof with joy; going on a trip with Mint was good on her side. She turned to Mint and hugged her tightly while making weird noises out of excitement.
"Okay, I think this is great, P'First. What's so bad about it?!" Bee said.
Moon sighed at that moment but didn't react further. Ten, on the other hand, scanned Sun from head to toe and gave a judgy eye-roll to Wee, who was sitting next to him.
"Isn't it obvious what the problem is? It's these guys. Not P'Mint of course, to be clear." Ten said with a sulky face.
Moon directed another questioning sentence at his cousin, who had delivered the bad news.
"Is this why you made us vow to come? We wouldn't have been so childish as to not come anyway; everyone keeps their opinions to themselves, after all."
Just as First opened his mouth to answer, Ten covered First's mouth with his hand and took over.
"To be honest, he did the right thing. If I hadn't vowed, I wouldn't have gone, Moon!" Ten said, as if he were whispering quietly, though everyone at the table could hear him.
And he was well aware of that—that was exactly his point. Wee grabbed Ten's hand that was covering First's mouth and pulled it down.
At this sudden contact, Ten quickly pulled his hand away from him too.
"What do you think you're doing! What's your problem?"
Wee couldn't help but smirk at Ten's childish reaction. While he continued smirking, he pressed his tongue against his cheek, trying to hold back what he was going to say, but he wasn't successful.
"I think you should let First finish his sentence. More exciting news is waiting for you. Come on, tell them, First? If they're still this calm, I'm guessing you haven't told them yet."
Ten turned his head to First with a dramatic maneuver and waited for him to speak with raised eyebrows. First took a sip of his coffee while making it clear with his expressions that he was cursing Wee out internally.
"The people we're grouped with are these four—meaning, by coming here now, this group at the table is complete."
"This time you might have actually screwed up, P'First!" Bee said, still clinging to Mint. She slowly scanned both Ten and Moon with her eyes wide as saucers.
She leaned into Mint's ear and whispered.
"I'm okay with it and all, but Ten is either going to faint or attack right now. Watch and see."
Mint gave Bee a sweet look and nodded in agreement with her comment.
After a brief silence at the table, Bank broke the quiet with his energetic character.
"Hey, it's not that bad. At least everyone knows each other!" he said in a cracking voice.
First was looking at Bank, nodding his head in panic. As he was nodding nonstop, he felt two small hands on his collar and a breath ignited with rage.
"YOU JERK, WHY DID YOU MAKE ME VOW! YOU KNEW I WOULDN'T COME THE MOMENT I HEARD, SO WHY DID YOU PUT ME IN THIS POSITION!
I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL, P'FIRST! COUNT YOUR FUCKING DAYS!"
On an ordinary day in this ordinary restaurant they came to, this heated table looked like a scene out of a comedy sketch.
While Wee was trying to pull and sit down the little ball of fire clinging to First like a koala, Bee and Mint sat without moving, watching them with pleasure.
Bank, amidst this chaos, was secretly trying to eat the food First had ordered. After roughing up First, Ten was drenched in sweat and was hardly persuaded to sit back down.
In the middle of all this, Sun turned his gaze to Moon. Moon didn't say a single word after hearing this news. His eyes were twitching, disgust was radiating from his face, but he didn't make his feelings obvious.
"Ten is actually right, P'First. I wish you hadn't made us vow. I really don't want to come."
The whole table directed their gaze toward Moon. His group and Sun knew more or less the reason for this silent state. But his calm attitude today had stuck in the minds of the remaining trio.
"We're not exactly dying to hang out with you either, Nong. But that's the whole point of the event anyway—to break the ice. Don't be a crybaby."
Wee said, adding to Moon's low mood. Ten was literally threatining Wee with his eyes.
Moon didn't answer; he grabbed his bag and stood up. Just as he turned to leave, First shouted after him.
"That prick is coming too. You're not going to run away again."
Moon stopped suddenly as he was walking. He turned his head to First for a brief moment. He stared straight into his eyes, signaling that he didn't want it, and walked away.
Although no one understood what he said, Sun had already pieced together the 'mixed'
conversation that had formed between them.
As Moon walked away, everyone stared after him. The confused table continued to bicker with each other.
But there was someone else who got up from the table after him. Sun, also gathered his things and quickly went after Moon.
At that moment, Ten stood up again in anger. He was going to go after that guy and tell him to leave Moon alone.
But this time, First acted even faster than Wee and caught Ten, sitting him back down as if he were giving an order.
"Leave it, they need to talk. It doesn't concern us for now; if we see Moon in a bad state, we'll hold him accountable."
With those words from First, Ten accepted defeat this time and slumped back slowly with a frown. He continued to look at Sun—who was getting smaller as he walked away—with a grudge on his face, muttering under his breath like an old lady.
End of Chapter 6.
~~~
Hello guys, are you also surprised about the sudden news that First explained? Let me know!
Sincerely, teddytimid.