Malric Thorn was running for his life.
Not metaphorically. Literally.
Why are there so many of them?! he screamed, panic completely taking over his body.
His sneakers slammed against the wet pavement as he sprinted across the park plaza, each desperate step an attempt to outrun his impending doom. Behind him, a strange sound filled the air — a mix between pouring rain and the rustling of dry leaves.
But it wasn't rain.
It was hundreds of tiny feet.
Rats.
Way too many rats.
Malric risked a glance over his shoulder and immediately regretted it. A gray tidal wave surged across the park ground like a living tsunami of rodents. Some raced along the pavement, others slithered through the grass, and a few were even climbing over the bench he had left behind.
This is completely absurd! he shouted, feeling like reality had officially surpassed his worst nightmares.
A blue window suddenly appeared in front of his eyes while he ran.
New mission active RUN Reward: Survive Penalty for failure: Probably very unpleasant
Malric gasped for air, his mind racing to find any way out of this mess.
System…
Yes, Malric Thorn.
This isn't running anymore.
This is about to become getting devoured.
Technically they haven't devoured you yet, the System replied calmly.
Malric jumped over a fallen trash can, adrenaline pumping through his veins.
Observation: If you stopped running, we could test that theory.
Shut up! he yelled, feeling his sanity slipping away.
A rat leaped toward his ankle. Malric screamed and accelerated even faster.
They're jumping!
Confirmed. Rats possess functional legs.
That doesn't help! he shouted, turning sharply at the corner of the park. His breathing was becoming ragged and painful.
Okay… okay… think. Think! THINK!
S.I.M.I.O. spoke again.
You could try apologizing.
Malric frowned, wondering if he was losing his mind.
To the rats? he asked incredulously. I killed their leader!
Culturally speaking, that is usually frowned upon.
Malric looked back again. The gray wave was still advancing relentlessly, like an unstoppable storm.
I don't think they're in the mood to negotiate.
At that moment, a familiar sound cut through the chaos — the flapping of wings.
Malric lifted his head. In the middle of the plaza stood a large stone statue, and perched all over it were dozens of pigeons. His eyes lit up with desperate hope.
Yes!
Observation: The user has just had an idea. This rarely ends well.
Malric ignored the comment and sprinted straight toward the statue. The pigeons watched him approach with a mix of curiosity and suspicion. One of them tilted its head, and Malric immediately recognized her — the same pigeon from earlier.
Hey! he called out, breathing heavily.
The pigeon looked at him with clear disdain.
Ah. It's the human with the permanent failure face.
Malric raised a hand as he reached the statue, leaning against it to catch his breath.
I need help!
The pigeon glanced behind him at the approaching horde, then back at him. Her expression shifted from mild annoyance to genuine surprise.
Why is there a tsunami of rats following you?
Malric pressed his back against the cold stone, panting.
I killed one! It was an accident!
The pigeon's eyes widened in alarm.
You killed the leader?
Malric blinked, confused.
How do you even know that?
He was famous.
He was the one who always stole the french fries.
Malric's breathing grew more desperate as he heard the squeaking getting louder.
Well… now his entire army wants to kill me.
The pigeon studied him for a moment, then looked at the approaching rats, and finally turned back to him.
This is hilarious.
Malric gripped the edge of the statue tightly.
It's not hilarious! Help me!
The other pigeons began murmuring among themselves. Malric could hear their voices clearly thanks to his skill.
What did he do?
He killed the rat boss.
That human is dead.
Can we eat him?
Malric raised both hands in a gesture of surrender.
Hey! We can work together!
The pigeons stared at him, some still skeptical. Their leader tilted her head, considering the situation.
Why would we help a human?
Malric pointed frantically at the rats now flooding into the plaza.
Because they're coming this way too!
The pigeon looked back and saw the gray tide getting closer. Malric forced a nervous smile.
You could… I don't know… fight them!
Silence fell over the statue.
The pigeons looked at him, then at the rats, then back at him.
The leader finally spoke, her tone dripping with disbelief and contempt.
That is the stupidest thing I have heard all day.
Malric opened his mouth to protest.
But—
In that exact moment, a rat leaped toward the base of the statue. The pigeons reacted instantly. Wings flapped wildly, angry coos filled the air, and feathers exploded in every direction. One pigeon pecked a rat hard, another shoved it with its wings, and a third slammed into it mid-air.
Suddenly, an absurd battle erupted right in the middle of the plaza.
Malric watched the chaos in stunned silence. Pigeons attacking, rats screeching, feathers and dust flying everywhere.
…Did it actually work?
S.I.M.I.O. responded dryly.
Confirmed. The user has just started an interspecies war.
Malric smiled nervously, a strange mix of excitement and regret washing over him.
Great!
No.
The window appeared again.
Faction relationships updated Faction: Pigeons Status: Hostile Charisma with pigeons: -15
Malric frowned, feeling like the worst possible ally in history.
What?
The screen continued.
The lead pigeon was now staring directly at him with pure hatred.
…Oh.
She screeched loudly, pointing one wing straight at Malric.
He got us into this!
Several pigeons turned toward him, their eyes burning with fury.
It's his fault!
The human!
Get the human!
Malric raised his hands desperately.
Wait!
But it was too late.
One pigeon dove straight at his face. Then another. Then three more. Malric screamed as he tried to dodge.
Why are you attacking me?!
S.I.M.I.O. replied calmly.
Hypothesis: They do not enjoy being used as biological shields.
Malric ducked as a pigeon flew straight at his head. Another one smacked him in the face with its wing.
Ow!
A third grabbed a fistful of his hair, making him stumble.
Stop flying at me!
The blue window appeared once more.
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED Animal Hatred
Malric screamed while running.
What?!
The screen explained.
Condition: Provoke hostility in multiple animal species. Reward: When your charisma with an animal drops below -10, you can now hear their thoughts.
Malric froze for a second, stunned by the revelation.
A pigeon flew past him, and inside his head he clearly heard:
Kill him!
Malric blinked, overwhelmed.
…
Another voice echoed in his mind.
He started the war!
And another.
Peck his eyes out!
Malric's eyes widened as the horrible realization hit him.
I can hear their thoughts?
Correct, S.I.M.I.O. replied. Congratulations. Now you can understand exactly how much they hate you.
Malric dragged a hand down his face, feeling the situation spiral into pure absurdity.
This isn't a reward.
I disagree. It is very useful information.
A rat jumped near him, only to be attacked by two pigeons. Malric backed away, watching the ridiculous animal war rage behind him.
Rats. Pigeons. Screeching. Feathers. Complete chaos.
Malric stared at the scene, the weight of what he had done finally sinking in.
…I think I did something terrible.
S.I.M.I.O. responded calmly.
Confirmed. You have triggered your first ecological conflict.
Malric let out a deep, exhausted sigh.
Just great. Simply fantastic.
The screen flickered again.
New mission detected
Malric looked at the window with a mix of dread and resignation.
SURVIVE YOUR OWN IDEA
He glanced at the ongoing battle, then up at the sky, and finally at the System.
System.
Yes.
I think I might be the worst hero in history.
Correction, S.I.M.I.O. replied. You are not a hero yet.
Pause. You are simply a problem.
Malric sighed deeply, his mind spinning. He looked toward the city streets ahead of him.
Well… I guess I should leave before the cats show up.
Silence.
The screen appeared slowly.
Warning
Malric frowned, a chill running down his spine.
What?
The text finished writing itself.
Faction detected Cats
Malric stood frozen in place as pure horror filled him.
S.I.M.I.O. spoke with quiet amusement.
Oh. This is about to get interesting.