Chapter 1 Part 9 "I knew it. What cleansing? What kind of cleansing."
The time we had promised last night had come. As I finished getting dressed and ready to go out, my older sister poked me in the back and grumbled.
"No. I'm really only going because I'm going to hear, for the very last time, what he has to say."
"What are you going to do if Saebyeok says he's sorry?"
"He'll probably say he's very sorry and cry."
"That would suit your taste exactly."
"That's enough. I'm not talking to you."
"If you're coming home with Saebyeok, buy the chicken I asked for on the way."
"I'm not buying any chicken or anything. Saebyeok isn't coming either!" I shouted and stepped out through the front door.
I really had no idea what my older sister thought my temperament was like.
If Yeo Saebyeok wanted my forgiveness, then he was going to have to explain in exact, convincing detail why he had done that to me and what he had been thinking. He had to apologize to Jiyeong too.
As I headed for the meeting place, I kept imagining what Yeo Saebyeok might say, and how I should answer him. Had he realized overnight how precious I was? What if he knelt down and begged? Should I forgive him?
Before I knew it, I had already arrived at the meeting place. Yeo Saebyeok was standing across the crosswalk.
His face looked uncharacteristically impatient. Tapping the ground with the toe of his sneaker, Yeo Saebyeok glanced around as if searching for someone.
Was he looking for me?
Unable to spot me even though I was right across from him, Yeo Saebyeok pulled his phone out of his pocket. He fiddled with the screen as if about to type something, then lowered the phone again.
Watching him, I almost laughed. It was the first time I had seen Yeo Saebyeok so restless.
Right. It wasn't like you were completely unaffected either. Of course you'd be like this.
So saying you didn't want to be friends really had been nonsense after all. I knew it. Who else did you have besides me as a friend?
A quiet snicker slipped out. My heart felt a little lighter.
Just then, the traffic light changed to green for pedestrians.
Now Yeo Saebyeok was the one who had to kneel and beg.
"Hey, Saebyeok..." It was the moment I stepped forward toward Yeo Saebyeok.
Screeech!
A harsh sound ripped through my ears.
When I turned my head toward the sound, I saw a car rushing straight at me, in agonizing slow motion.
My mind went blank, and I could not move.
Then a huge mass of metal slammed into my body. The impact burst through me.
My body flew up. I saw the sky. A vivid blue sky and clouds.
Then came the sensation of my back hitting the ground. Pain spread from my legs to my spine. Everything felt numb, as if all sensation had drained away.
"Student..."
"…Are you okay..."
Voices rose here and there in fragments. People were gathering.
"…Neul!"
An urgent call reached me. My head turned toward it on its own.
"Haneul."
It was Saebyeok.
Yeo Saebyeok's face looking down at me filled my entire field of vision. I could only see Yeo Saebyeok.
The edges of my vision slowly darkened. As though black ink were spreading into white paper, my eyes filled with darkness.
And then, before long, I could not see anything at all.
It was quiet.
Complete darkness. A darkness where I could feel nothing.
Am I dying... this quickly? It felt unfair. But I was too sleepy to think about it for long. Sleep kept coming...
A light seeped through beneath my eyelids. It was bright.
"Uh..."
Why could I see light? A bright classroom slowly came into view.
"Is it nice sleeping on someone else's arm?" I heard Yeo Saebyeok's voice right beside my head.
My head had been resting on Yeo Saebyeok's arm. Startled, I immediately lifted my head and looked to the side. Yeo Saebyeok was shaking out the arm he had been holding under my head.
"Don't tell me you stayed in the classroom the whole time just to lend me your arm as a pillow?"
The classroom held only the two of us. Was it lunchtime? It looked like everyone else had left, and this was what had happened until they did.
"You didn't wake up even when I tried. You just kept sleeping."
"You could've just pulled your arm out and left. Why are you making such a big deal out of it? Do you want me to feel grateful or something?"
"I couldn't pull it out because your head was too heavy." Yeo Saebyeok clenched and unclenched his arm as if it felt numb. "It's only because I drew too much. Hey, hit my arm for me."
"Why?"
"So the blood will circulate again. I'll hit yours too."
When I awkwardly made a fist as if to punch him, Yeo Saebyeok let out a laugh. Seeing him like this, it felt like it was just another ordinary day.
Nothing at all had happened...
The sensation of being hit by the car came back to me. My face automatically stiffened.
"I had a really weird dream."
"What dream?"
"There was a dream with you in it."
"...you dreamed about me?" Yeo Saebyeok paused, then laughed.
"Yeah. A dream where I die because of you."
"What."
"You said you had something to tell me, didn't you? But even if you hadn't, it was all because of you anyway."
"What on earth are you talking about. You're saying I did that in a dream?" Yeo Saebyeok, snickering as if dumbfounded, leaned his upper body toward me. "I do. Have something to say."
The sunlight pouring down in pale white fell across Yeo Saebyeok's face. His already sharply defined features were outlined again by light and shadow.
He smelled good. It was the scent he always had when Yeo Saebyeok was close by. Hard to describe, heavy and faintly sweet.
Then I wondered what it was Yeo Saebyeok had wanted to say to me.
The wind blew, and the curtain fluttered. The shadow beside it swayed and trembled between Yeo Saebyeok and me. A strip of curtain covered Yeo Saebyeok's face, then revealed it again.
Yeo Saebyeok lowered his head fully toward me and looked at me.
I felt like I understood why animals could not run away once they locked eyes with a predator. When I was reflected in Yeo Saebyeok's eyes, I could not even blink. Like a prey animal.
Yeo Saebyeok stared only at me and spoke.
"Giha, I..."
"You, what."
I didn't hear the rest.
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