Our class had the Bottom Rank, Kanna Aurora.
She was a student with such poor grades that people would say she was definitely the reason our class average dropped.
At first, it was just a small act of compassion.
Unable to make friends because of her bottom rank status, she approached Orca asking to be friends—perhaps deep down she truly wanted a friend.
Maybe she also wanted to learn from someone who was good at studying.
While one can't always show kindness, I stepped in because I was touched by her determination to make friends despite her circumstances.
I became her friend, but since this was my first time making friends in such an artificial way, I didn't know what to do and just left things as they were.
Before long, I realized how painful my "doing nothing" approach was for her.
When I went to eat lunch as usual, I belatedly remembered that Kanna had asked Orca to be friends because she had no one else.
Nobody wanted to hang out with the Bottom Rank.
Which meant she obviously had no one to eat with either.
Realizing this late, I felt somewhat guilty.
But apologizing would only hurt Kanna more than anyone else.
So I kept my mouth shut.
But because I couldn't speak up, it weighed even heavier on my heart.
How should I treat her?
Would treating her normally be enough?
I was conflicted.
I knew friendship wasn't something that could be forced, and I knew that nobody appreciates excessive attention, so my hesitation continued.
I couldn't treat Kanna as a friend.
Even though I was the one who had offered friendship.
What did I really want?
I questioned myself.
While I was still hesitating, I finally got a chance to talk with Kanna.
And the relationship that began then eventually became something I could call friendship.
I followed Kanna around.
After Academy hours ended and during after-school time, even on weekends, I stayed by her side and wandered around with her.
It felt like seeing a different side of her than what I saw at the Academy.
She seemed like a completely different person from the one who spent her days at school withdrawn, intimidated, and silent before quietly leaving.
Was it because she now had someone to talk to?
I followed Kanna around, and during that time, I found myself starting to believe in her groundless convictions, as if I had been influenced by her.
It might be nonsense without evidence, as Orca said, but Kanna didn't dwell on that and kept searching diligently, so I wanted to try believing in her.
But the world is never easy, and something stood in my way.
"Yoon Ha-min."
The teacher with light brown hair tied in a long ponytail was angry with me.
She didn't care that I had lost my Top Rank position, but she was upset because I had lost points in ridiculous areas.
While practical exams were graded on a curve and couldn't result in ties, written exams could have tied scores, and that's where I lost points.
As a result, I fell to Second Rank, but that was entirely my responsibility.
"...Yes."
"What were you doing instead of studying properly?"
"I had my reasons."
Since this teacher dismissed Kanna's words as nonsense, I kept quiet, thinking that speaking up would only hurt Kanna more.
"I told you before. With a blemish on your record like this, you won't be able to join the national service. Didn't I tell you that when you consulted with me at the beginning of the semester?"
"I'm sorry."
I bowed my head deeply.
I felt genuinely sorry because I had requested counseling from the teacher, yet I had neglected the advice she had given me.
"Orca."
"Yes."
"Your grades are still clean, so you have a better chance. Having the Top Rank and Second Rank positions switching back and forth means we have two talented students, which is fine either way."
"...Yes."
Orca responded, slightly intimidated.
Probably because the conversation had started with me being scolded.
"So, Orca, I hope you won't make the same mistake."
After saying that, the teacher turned her gaze back to me.
"It's too early to make any conclusions since we're still in the first semester of freshman year. Your chances have diminished, not disappeared completely, Yoon Ha-min. Don't give up and keep performing as you did before. Looking at your practical skills, it seems unlikely you'll be disqualified."
"Yes."
After being reprimanded, I greeted the teacher and left the classroom.
I was disappointed because I was supposed to investigate the Wall with Kanna today, but now I couldn't.
She would probably think her grades had dropped because of her and try to distance herself to protect me.
I wondered if I should let her go if she tried to distance herself, to spare her from getting hurt.
But the answer remained unclear.
I knew that Kanna was isolated only because of her poor grades, but when you actually approached her, she showed many different sides of herself.
She would eat like a hamster, savoring her food as if she'd never had enough to eat before, and she cried silently when she realized I believed her.
How could I turn away someone who was so happy just because someone finally believed her when no one else would?
"Yoon Ha-min."
As I was contemplating whether to go home, Orca, who was walking beside me, called my name.
When I turned to look at her, her beautiful face was frowning.
"...What?"
"I haven't said anything because you seem to be hiding it, but I wish you would distance yourself from Kanna."
"I'd really like to know why."
"You're checking out what she talked about before, right? You leave school with her every day—did you think I wouldn't notice? I sit right next to you, did you really think I wouldn't know?"
I smiled bitterly at her words.
Since I wasn't trying to deceive her outright, I answered honestly.
"Like I said before, I still... want to believe her, just this once."
"Just once?"
"Yes."
Honestly, how could I not believe someone who cried so much just because I trusted her?
That emotion itself must be proof that she wasn't lying.
I understood why Orca was reacting this way.
But that was one thing, and this was another, so I couldn't listen to her.
"Really. Fine. But you should stop doing things that might affect your future."
Orca finally seemed to give in to my stubbornness and sighed as she said that.
Since she was concerned about my future after our three years at the Academy, I felt grateful rather than thinking she was meddling.
It's rare to find someone who gives such good advice.
"Got it."
I was becoming interested in Kanna Aurora.
I was still curious about what she was trying to see, her voice lingering in my mind.
*
Thursday was the day right after exams ended, and it was also the day that signaled preparation for new exams, which everyone hated.
It was especially frustrating because even though we'd already been to school four times that week, we still had to come the next day.
Still, I was thankful we could somehow get through the day.
Though I hadn't gotten used to the stares around me, I had learned to endure them.
Plus, having someone to eat lunch with made it a little easier to hang on.
When classes ended, the clock showed 5 o'clock.
I was thinking about leaving, grabbing dinner at a convenience store nearby, and exploring places I hadn't been to yet. As I was slinging my bag over my shoulder, Yoon Ha-min approached me.
"Kanna. Want to walk home together today?"
I had refused his offer to walk together yesterday too.
The reason was clear.
The truth was, I had been trying to cause Yoon Ha-min minimal trouble while maximizing my benefit, but I realized there was too much for me to bear in return.
I was afraid of being hated by Orca and being marked by the teacher.
And I was even more afraid that my Academy life would become even more nightmarish than it already was.
I realized again that I didn't have the courage to be hated, fearing everyone would point fingers at me and call me crazy.
"No, I'm fine."
I deliberately smiled.
I could feel the other students preparing to leave, including Orca, watching us.
Everyone seemed wary, knowing that Yoon Ha-min had dropped to Second Rank right after hanging out with me.
Amid those stares, I quietly pushed him away.
"You don't need to help me anymore."
"No, we haven't finished yet..."
"Really, it's okay."
I rejected his kindness.
I had no choice.
"...Are you sure?"
"Yes."
Even Yoon Ha-min couldn't insist after such a clear rejection.
I pushed him away, and he lowered his gaze blankly.
"But, why so suddenly...?"
To his muttering, I quietly replied:
"You know too. Nothing good comes from being with me."
I'm alone.
I've been alone, and I'm used to being alone.
I know loneliness is hard to get used to.
And when everyone else doesn't seem to feel that loneliness, the sense of isolation grows exponentially.
But I had no choice.
I was truly grateful for his help so far, so I smiled.
"I'm sorry for making your grades drop."
By saying this, I quietly won over Orca's heart while simultaneously instilling fear in the surrounding students that being with me could lower their grades.
Yoon Ha-min stared at me with wide eyes.
"...That's not your fault..."
"I'm sorry."
I cut off his words decisively and left.
I tightly sealed my lips, feeling like the emotions I wanted to hide were about to burst out.
Anyone who saw me would probably think my expression was strange.
My lips were contorting on their own.
I walked quickly out of the Academy.
Then I headed toward a village I hadn't visited yet, passing by a bus stop near the Academy.
To soothe my gloomy heart, I lifted my head toward the sky and sniffled.
"Hah."
I was painfully realizing that relationships that aren't wanted can't even become friendships.
Just as I was consoling myself, thinking I had been too greedy, something caught my eye.
My body froze at the unpleasant feeling that sent chills down my spine.
"That's..."