Ian's return was soundless.
The moment he opened his eyes,
[00:42]
He instinctively glanced at the clock on his desk. Nothing had changed. The return time was still perfectly on schedule. He was not surprised that Digital Tony had been able to calculate the exact moment he would disappear.
"I've vanished in front of that guy enough times already. He's a super-intelligence that can even calculate souls. If he couldn't figure something like this out, that would be the weird part."
Ian looked at the box in his hands.
The demon head was still inside.
It hadn't been swapped out.
It was just shaking nonstop now, like it had developed claustrophobia while being shut in there.
"Y... we're back again?"
It had clearly sensed the surroundings, and immediately spoke in a nervous rush.
"Don't worry, I won't say anything. I won't expose the fact that you're a dimensional demon god who keeps a bunch of souls penned up and then split off a so-called savior just to toy with them!"
"I wouldn't tell even if the King of Hell himself showed up!"
Apparently, being sealed inside the box had given it a lot of time to think about life. Maybe the darkness really had awakened some hidden literary talent in this bull-headed demon.
"Too bad it's still nothing compared to my own genius."
Ian put the lid back on the box and sealed the demon head inside again. He felt that if he left it shut away long enough, the demon might eventually come up with a few ideas worth stealing for himself.
"Looks like I really am a little bit bad."
After briefly reviewing everything that had happened in the nightmare world, the boy came to a conclusion.
"I need to start preparing now for touching Sentry!"
He walked over to his desk. Ever since putting on Batman's suit, he felt like his intelligence had grown from merely clever to downright strategic.
Would an original Batman suit work even better?
Too bad Batman wasn't a girl.
Forget it.
Not worth testing.
Bruce Wayne probably had body odor.
And Ian didn't need that little bit of extra strategy anyway.
Thinking that, Ian picked up his phone and dialed a number.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
As a minor, he was now officially someone who owned a phone. The phone had been generously gifted by Batman, and Ian had no intention of being careful about it. A phone that didn't require him to pay the bill and could double as a brick if necessary obviously had to be used to the fullest.
After all, the other party was Batman. If Batman wanted to monitor someone, throwing the phone away or trying some fancy countermeasure was basically the definition of useless overthinking. As long as Ian kept pretending he had no secrets, Batman would never actually know any of his secrets.
That was Ian's method for dealing with Batman.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Another stretch of ringing.
After a patient wait,
someone finally picked up.
"Mr. Leonard Hofstadter, it's me."
Ian spoke first.
"Huh?"
The person on the other end clearly froze.
The receiver also carried the sound effects of Halo and Shelton's trademark shriek.
"What kind of psychopath calls you at a time like this, Leonard?! Don't tell me you've secretly gotten involved with the mob behind my back!"
Shelton sounded as dramatic as ever.
There was the sound of hurried footsteps.
It seemed Leonard had run out to the hallway beyond the apartment door.
"Okay, it's quiet now. That was just the groundhog I keep at home... may I ask who's calling?"
Leonard didn't recognize Ian's voice after only meeting him once.
Ian didn't blame him.
"I'm Capitalist Ian. We met outside the gym."
He spoke patiently.
"Oh!"
The person on the other end finally reacted in realization.
"Father of Homelander! I remember! I have a friend who really wants to read your The Boys comic too!"
Leonard's outburst made Ian raise a brow.
He really was an advanced physicist.
He had actually sensed through quantum entanglement that Ian now had a Patriotlander identity too.
"That's right. It's me."
Ian gave a silent thumbs-up through the phone.
Hopefully quantum entanglement would also compel the other man to thank him properly soon enough.
"Uh, Ian, right? What did you want to talk to me about? If this is about the job offer, we're still thinking about it. Yes, still thinking."
Leonard's voice sounded a little guilty.
"That's fine, no rush. We've got plenty of time. I just wanted to ask about comics tonight. Have you ever heard of The Incredible Hulk?"
"I wanted to ask about the publisher of that comic, or maybe other stories in the same setting."
Ian's so-called planning ahead was obviously about Sentry.
Sentry's corpse was basically confirmed now. But if the same thing happened again as it had with Homelander, that would be a disaster. So useful or not, Ian needed to make sure Sentry's image existed in this world.
"Looking for some new inspiration for your comics? Okay, hold on a second."
Leonard didn't sound confused. If anything, he sounded very understanding, and then started jogging off somewhere.
Urgent footsteps, accompanied by Shelton complaining in the background. Leonard snapped at him to shut up. The world fell quiet, and he seemed to run back into a room, breathing hard as if he'd just finished a marathon.
Ian was convinced the man must live in a very large apartment. Otherwise why would he be panting like that? It also reassured him that his Batman setting still made total sense.
"I actually own that obscure comic. It only ran for a few issues. I guess I sympathized with Hulk because I see myself as equally pitiful... okay, sorry, ignore that."
Leonard shuffled through things on the other end of the line.
"The publisher was United Comics... and it looks like they really did have other works. Let me check."
A moment later, the sound of typing came through.
"Found it. That company really was cursed. I checked on the Marginalized People Should Read Marginal Comics website. They only published three titles in total: The Incredible Hulk, Invincible Thor, and Human Torch. All of them died for one reason or another, and even the artists died in accidents."
"That's creepy as hell."
Leonard's sharp intake of breath sounded like the start of an asthma attack.
"Got it. Thanks, Leonard. I have inspiration now. You really are a true superhero."
Ian was thoughtful. It mostly matched what he'd already found through Google.
By the time the call ended,
Leonard instinctively touched his own neck.
Thankfully, his head was still attached. As someone who had read The Boys, a veteran nerd like him really did have a little too much sense of immersion when it came to certain lines.
"Ever since learning about Homelander, I don't even know how to look at Superman the same way anymore."
Leonard and his friends had already had more than one debate about whether Superman could blast the moon apart.
And now, with Homelander's existence,
that debate was bound to spread to even more circles.
Why?
Because once a comic artist came up with the idea of firing a Crescent Slash at the moon, he actually drew it.
Even though it was only the beginning of the story, that kind of epic opening scene hit veteran nerds like Leonard incredibly hard. He didn't even dare imagine what Superman's expression would look like if he ever saw The Boys.
"And that character called The Deep... he has to be based on Aquaman. Aquaman has a terrible temper."
Leonard was genuinely willing to gamble on that.
He was absolutely certain that the more successful The Boys became after release, the greater the odds that he'd turn on the news one day and see the Justice League standing together again, collectively beating up one young comic artist.
In a world full of disasters, maybe God truly did protect America.
But that didn't mean He could protect a comic artist reckless enough to court that kind of trouble.
"At least he hasn't been crazy enough to draw Batman."
That, in Leonard's eyes, was the one sign Ian still had some scraps of good judgment left.
Because in his mind, the kind of mental state required to create The Boys absolutely qualified for Arkham Asylum.
A little kid like that...
how long would he survive in there?
(End of Chapter)
[Check Out My P@treon For +20 Extra Chapters On All My Fanfics!!][[email protected]/euridome]
[+500 Power Stones = +1 Extra Chapter]
[Thank You For Your Support!]