Kiefer (POV)
Cassian handed me the file.
I opened it slowly, my eyes scanning the papers before stopping on the name.
The Hanamichi family.
My brows furrowed instantly.
Why the hell would they try to kill me?
I looked up for a second, trying to think, but my attention shifted immediately toward Jay-Jay.
She was sitting there staring at the shopping bag Cassian brought, practically glowing while trying not to giggle.
I rubbed my forehead.
Unbelievable.
This girl would lower her guard for snacks and sweets faster than for actual people.
And the worst part?
Cassian looked way too pleased about it.
"Jasper Jean Mariano Watson," I called flatly.
She slowly looked at me like a child caught stealing candy.
"Are you really trusting him?" I asked, pointing toward the door. "After everything he did?"
My jaw tightened.
"He even tried to kiss you."
Instead of answering—
She suddenly walked closer.
Then pressed a soft kiss against my cheek.
My entire brain blanked for one second.
"Just because someone walks into my life doesn't change anything between us," she whispered. "Remember?"
Then she smiled.
"I'm yours."
And she winked.
Damn it.
My anger melted so fast it was embarrassing.
Get a grip.
She's obviously distracting you.
...Even if I liked it.
A lot.
I cleared my throat and forced my face blank as if nothing had happened.
"Jay, I'm serious," I muttered.
"Tss…" She carefully sat beside me, leaning against the couch. "I don't fully trust him yet."
Her expression softened slightly.
"But when he asked to be my friend…" she said quietly, "he looked serious."
Then she hesitated.
"And guilty."
I stared at her silently.
God.
I don't know how someone can be this innocent and this dense at the same time.
Yeah.
I saw the guilt, too.
But guilt doesn't erase danger.
And I sure as hell couldn't lower my guard now.
I glanced toward the door quietly.
"I want to give him one chance," she continued softly. "It's not like he asked me for anything."
I exhaled slowly.
There was no changing her mind once she decided something.
Which meant—
I needed to keep watching Cassian myself.
"You seriously attract troubled people," I muttered before flicking her forehead lightly.
"Ouch!" She rubbed her forehead dramatically while glaring at me.
But I smiled anyway.
Then suddenly her expression changed.
She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes suspiciously at me.
"Now," she said slowly, "you owe me an explanation."
My smile faded instantly.
Why is she asking that now?
…The accident?
"Jay," I said carefully.
"Kiefer." Her voice turned serious. "I want to know about my accident."
My chest tightened immediately.
That bastard.
Cassian definitely said something to her.
I looked away for a second, trying to think of literally anything to change the topic.
"Did you take your medicine?" I asked suddenly.
Her eyes narrowed further.
"Kiefer."
"You should rest."
"Kiefer."
"Jay, are you really going to believe Cassian?" I asked, staring at her.
"Kiefer… really? You're not going to let this go?" she said while standing up. "And stop trying to change the topic?"
"Jay, how can I?" I snapped. "He walks in here acting like he is some close friend of yours—"
I narrowed my eyes.
"And now you're calling him 'Cassy.'"
She opened her mouth immediately.
"Kiefer—"
I cut her off before she could defend herself.
"It's not the first time either, Jay," I said, running a hand through my hair, frustratingly. "Do you even remember becoming friends with Tiger?"
She blinked.
"And do you even know how dangerous King's Grounds is?" I continued. "That place isn't some playground. The people there are insane. Yet the second someone brings you—"
"What?"
"Food."
She went quiet for one second.
Then completely ignored everything else I said.
"Pizza," she whispered dramatically.
I stared at her.
"I really miss it…"
I looked at her in disbelief.
"Jay."
"What?" she complained innocently. "You mention tiger, and now I'm thinking about pizza."
"Jay!" I shouted.
"Hm?" She tilted her head shamelessly. "You know how Tiger was. He even gave me free drinks for life," she said proudly.
I stared at her as she had completely lost her mind.
"Jay, King's Grounds is not a place you can casually go to," I said firmly. "And this isn't about Tiger."
I crossed my arms.
"And I know you were sneaking around there with Section E, too."
She blinked once.
Then looked away.
"…That's not important."
"It is important."
"What?" she defended immediately. "Free food can't be rejected."
I let out a long, exhausted sigh.
"Tss… you really don't listen." I walked closer to her and held her shoulders gently. "Jay, I'll buy you anything you want."
Her eyes instantly sparkled.
"Anything?"
"Not the point," I muttered quickly. "Just… don't let your guard down around dangerous people. Especially when you already know what they're capable of."
Her expression softened after hearing my voice.
"Kiefer…" she said quietly.
Then she held my hand.
"'I promise you… I'll tell you everything later.'"
My brows furrowed slightly.
"But right now," she continued softly, looking straight into my eyes, "tell me why you're lying."
My chest tightened instantly.
I stayed silent.
She stepped closer.
"I saw the newspaper…" she whispered, holding my hand tightly. "How could you hide something like that from me?"
My throat felt dry.
"Kiefer… don't you think I deserve to know why I'm dead to the world?"
"Jay," I said quietly.
"What, Kiefer?" she asked, her voice trembling slightly now.
"Jay… I already told you I was going to hide you."
She suddenly laughed.
Not because it was funny.
But because she couldn't believe it.
"But Kiefer…" she whispered, tears forming in her eyes. "You never told me I was dead while I'm standing here breathing."
The guilt hit me so hard I couldn't even look at her properly anymore.
"Jay… I didn't plan any of this," I admitted weakly. "I just… took advantage of the situation."
My voice cracked slightly.
"I thought I was protecting you."
I swallowed hard.
"Because I couldn't lose you again like last time."
My eyes burned.
Damn it.
I hated crying.
Especially in front of her.
But the memory of holding her lifeless body that day still haunted me every single second of my life—
Even after four and a half years.
Some nights, I still woke up unable to breathe, thinking I had lost her all over again.
Sometimes I could still feel the weight of her body in my arms.
Cold.
Still.
Too quiet.
And no matter how many times I reminded myself she was alive now…
My mind always dragged me back to that moment.
To the blood on my hands.
To her unmoving face.
To the terrifying silence after screaming her name over and over again.
People said time heals all wounds.
They lied.
Time didn't erase anything.
It just taught me how to survive while carrying it.
That was why I panicked so badly when she disappeared even for a second.
Why I watched her breathe while she slept.
Why I memorized the sound of her heartbeat.
Why the thought of losing her again could destroy me so easily.
Because once you hold the person you love like they're already gone—
A part of you never recovers from it.
She slowly stepped closer.
Then gently cupped my face with both hands.
"Kiefer…" she whispered.
Her thumbs brushed under my eyes carefully.
"You idiot."
I froze slightly.
"You were carrying this alone the whole time?" she asked quietly.
I tried to speak.
Nothing came out.
She pulled me closer until our foreheads touched.
"Kiefer… I'm here," she whispered. "We're not in high school anymore."
Her fingers tightened around mine gently.
"I'm your wife now. We're partners."
My chest tightened hearing that.
"I may not be as smart as you," she continued with teary eyes, "but I care about you."
I closed my eyes for a second.
Because that somehow hurt more.
Then her voice broke.
"Kiefer… I'm here breathing, knowing my family is alive somewhere… and even if I can't reach them, it already hurts."
Tears started falling from her eyes now.
"But for them… It's different."
I slowly looked at her.
"How could you do this to them?" she whispered painfully.
Every word felt like a knife straight into my chest.
"You know how Kieran is… he's probably blaming himself right now."
I clenched my jaw tightly.
"You knew how hard I tried to become normal with Clyden Kuya…"
Her voice cracked harder.
"I'm his only family now, Kiefer."
I couldn't even defend myself.
Because she was right.
Completely right.
"You know how much they care about me," she cried softly. "My brothers spent their entire lives risking everything just to protect my existence…"
Her hands trembled against my shirt.
"They'll think they failed to protect me."
I lowered my head.
"They finally got me back after eighteen years, Kiefer…" she whispered brokenly. "And then I disappeared again."
Silence filled the room.
Heavy.
Painful.
"You should've chosen a better option," she finished quietly.
Her tears kept falling silently after that.
And I'm just there.
Unable to argue.
Unable to justify anything.
Because the truth was—
I never thought about anyone else when I made that decision.
Not her brothers.
Not her family.
Not the people who loved her.
I only thought about one thing.
Keeping her alive.
Even if it meant the whole world had to mourn her.
My hands slowly wrapped around hers.
"I know," I whispered hoarsely.
My voice sounded shattered.
"I know I was selfish."
She cried harder hearing that.
"But Jay…" I said weakly, finally looking into her eyes again, "When I saw you sleeping peacefully in my arms…"
My breathing became uneven instantly.
"I couldn't think anymore."
The memory alone made my hands shake.
"All I knew was that if the world believed you were dead…"
"…then maybe nobody would come after you again."
I lowered my head slightly.
"Jay… I knew I was wrong."
My fingers tightened around hers desperately.
"But I needed you the most."
The moment those words left my mouth—
Her expression broke even more.
"Kiefer…" she whispered painfully. "You can't deny the truth just because you were hurting."
I stayed silent.
"They need me too," she cried. "Just like you do."
Every word hit harder than the last.
"Tell me," she asked through tears, "are you really happy while our family is suffering like this?"
"No," I answered immediately.
Because that was the truth.
Never.
Not even once.
She wiped her tears angrily.
"If they think I'm dead…" her voice cracked, "then your brothers are suffering too."
I froze slightly.
"You're here with me," she whispered. "But they probably think they lost you, too."
My chest tightened painfully.
"Kieran, Kiegen, and my brothers… all of them probably blame themselves every single day."
I shut my eyes tightly.
Because I knew exactly how my brothers would react.
Angelo, Cole would destroy himself searching.
Clyden would stop sleeping completely.
And Jare, Aries, and Percy…
They would silently carry the guilt alone until it killed them.
"They must be terrified," she whispered. "Thinking both of us disappeared from them."
The room went painfully quiet again.
And for the first time since hiding her—
I finally realized something.
I didn't only take Jay away from the world.
I disappeared with her, too.
My hands covered my face briefly.
God.
What have I done?
Jay carefully knelt in front of me despite her tears.
Then she held my hands again.
"Kiefer…" she whispered softly this time, "loving me doesn't mean you get to carry everything alone."
I looked at her silently.
"We can protect ourselves without making everyone mourn us."
Her voice trembled again.
"You don't have to fight the whole world by yourself anymore."
I looked down at our hands before finally speaking.
"But… I only planned to hide everything until you gave birth," I admitted quietly. "I was going to tell them everything after that."
Jay stayed silent, listening carefully.
Then finally—
"I just…" I rubbed my face tiredly. "I wanted you safe first."
My voice dropped lower.
"You were pregnant, Jay."
That word alone carried all my fear.
"I already almost lost you once." My breathing became uneven again. "If something happened to you… or the baby…"
I couldn't even finish the sentence.
She looked at me quietly while tears continued slipping down her cheeks.
"I know your brothers love you," I whispered. "I know they would protect you with their lives."
I laughed bitterly.
"But the problem is… everyone around you gets dragged into danger eventually."
My jaw tightened.
"Your family, my family, Section E, " I shook my head slowly. "The second people know you're alive, everything starts moving again."
Jay lowered her gaze slightly.
I admitted the truth I had been hiding even from myself.
"And if something like that happened again…" My voice shook badly. "I thought you would leave me alone again."
Her eyes widened instantly.
"You came back once," I whispered weakly. "But what if next time you didn't?"
I could barely breathe, saying it aloud.
"What if I wasn't lucky again?"
My hands trembled in hers.
"What if you forgot me completely…"
I laughed bitterly through tears.
"Or worse…"
My throat tightened painfully.
"What if there wasn't another chance at all?"
Jay's expression shattered hearing the fear in my voice.
"I couldn't lose you again," I confessed finally. "I couldn't stand beside another grave pretending I was strong."
My breathing became uneven.
"So I hid you."
I looked away in shame.
"I hid you from everyone because I was terrified the world would take you away from me again."
The room became silent except for our shaky breathing.
Then suddenly—
Jay wrapped her arms around me tightly.
So tightly it almost hurt.
"Kiefer…" she whispered against my chest, crying harder now. "You were that scared?"
I slowly nodded against her shoulder.
For the first time—
I stopped pretending I was okay.
And she finally saw it.
Not the cold Kiefer everyone feared.
Not the man who always had control.
Just someone terrified of losing the person he loved most.
"Sorry, Jay…" I whispered brokenly against her hair. "I'm sorry."
She pulled back slightly.
Then kissed me softly.
A quiet kiss.
Forgiving.
Comforting.
"Kiefer…" she whispered gently after pulling away. "After you get discharged… let's go meet our family."
My chest tightened slightly.
"Let's not make them suffer anymore."
Her eyes softened painfully.
"You know what it feels like, don't you?" she whispered. "Not being there."
I closed my eyes briefly before nodding.
"…Okay," I said quietly.
Then finally—
"Let's go meet them."
Jay smiled through her tears.
Then, suddenly, she grabbed the food Cassian brought earlier and opened the containers one by one.
Porridge.
Sandwiches.
Adobo.
And salmon sinigang.
The smell instantly filled the room.
"Cassy really knows what you need," Jay said while looking impressed.
"Tss," I muttered immediately. "I'm not eating that."
The second I finished speaking—
She poked my wound.
"Jay—!" I hissed in pain.
"Open your mouth."
"I'm serious."
Another poke.
"…Ow."
"Open."
I glared at her.
She raised the spoon threateningly.
I reluctantly opened my mouth, and she immediately fed me porridge with a victorious look on her face.
"Eat properly," she scolded. "Don't be a gago."
I narrowed my eyes at her.
"Why are you weaponizing my injury?"
"Because," she said proudly while scooping another spoonful, "I learned from you."
I blinked.
"Don't you remember?" she continued sarcastically. "Every time I got hurt and refused to listen, you poked my wound too."
"…That was different."
"How?"
"I was educating you."
She stared at me flatly.
"And I'm educating you now."
I clicked my tongue.
This woman really learned all my worst habits and turned them against me.
…Next time, I seriously need to be careful what I do around Jay.
She continued feeding me porridge and salmon sinigang, but she completely ignored the sandwiches.
I narrowed my eyes slightly.
"Why aren't you eating those?" I asked.
"That's for Cassy," she answered casually. "He must be starving."
I stared at her for a second before silently grabbing one of the sandwiches and taking a bite.
Smack.
She hit the back of my head immediately.
"Why are you eating it?!" she complained.
I kept chewing calmly.
"He can buy another one if he's hungry."
Jay gasped dramatically as if I had committed a crime against humanity.
"You're unbelievable."
"You're overprotective of another man's sandwich."
She pointed the spoon at me threateningly.
"It's called basic humanity."
"Tss."
She huffed before gathering the empty containers.
"I'll throw these away," she muttered while glaring at me suspiciously, as if I might steal more food.
The second she walked out—
The hospital room door slammed open.
"You asshole!"
I looked up immediately.
Clyden stormed inside, looking furious and exhausted at the same time.
"You disappear, and now you're in the hospital?!" he shouted.
I blinked.
"What are you doing here?" I asked quickly.
My eyes instantly shifted toward the doorway behind him.
Did he see Jay?
"I called your phone," Clyden snapped angrily. "Then suddenly the line cut off, and I heard a damn car crash!"
His breathing was uneven from panic.
"You seriously thought I wouldn't worry?!"
I stayed silent.
"You jerk," he muttered, his voice cracking slightly now. "You disappeared searching for Jay…"
His eyes scanned my injuries.
"And the next time I see you, you look like this?"
The anger in his voice was real.
But underneath it—
Fear.
Pure fear.
I looked away quietly.
Clyden suddenly grabbed my hospital gown roughly.
"Do you have any idea what we've been through these past months?" he whispered harshly. "First Jay… then you vanish too?"
My chest tightened painfully.
"You think we can survive losing both of you? You know how worried Percy was when you disappeared completely?" Clyden asked.
I couldn't answer.
Because after what Jay said earlier—
I finally understood exactly what I had done to them.
Then suddenly—
The door opened.
"Kuya?" Jay's voice echoed softly.
Clyden instantly froze.
His grip on my collar loosened slowly before he turned around.
And the second, he saw her—
His entire expression shattered.
"Jay…" he whispered.
He crossed the room so fast it almost looked desperate.
Then immediately pulled her into his arms.
Tightly.
Like he was scared she would disappear if he loosened his grip.
He cupped her face with trembling hands, checking her over again and again.
"Are you okay?" he asked breathlessly. "I thought I really lost you…"
Jay's eyes filled with tears again.
"I'm okay, Kuya," she whispered.
Then Clyden hugged her again even tighter.
The room went painfully quiet as he broke down like that.
Then suddenly his eyes landed on Cassian standing near the door.
His expression darkened instantly.
"What are you doing here?" he asked sharply.
Then his gaze slowly shifted toward me.
And realization hit him.
His face turned cold.
"…You knew where Jay was this whole time?"
Silence.
Dangerous silence.
Clyden's jaw tightened violently before he stormed toward me and punched me straight across the face.
Pain exploded through my already injured body.
"You asshole!" he shouted. "Do you know how worried everyone was while you were hiding her?!"
"Kuya, stop!" Jay cried immediately. "Let him go! He's still a patient!"
I barely recovered before Clyden tried to grab me again.
"Cassian, help me!" Jay shouted desperately.
Cassian immediately stepped forward and pulled Clyden back before things got worse.
"Calm down," Cassian warned.
"Don't tell me to calm down!" Clyden snapped furiously.
Then he looked back at me with hurt written all over his face.
"Did Angelo know?" he asked coldly.
Silence answered him again.
That alone was enough.
Clyden laughed bitterly in disbelief.
"You're dead, Kiefer," he muttered. "Angelo's going to bury you alive when he hears this."
Honestly?
He was probably right.