Valen
My head spun around and around like the world had stopped orbiting around the sun. I clenched my forehead in pain, my arm reaching as an attempt to alleviate the throbbing, but it continued to ache and ache. Why was Roxanne back at my damn school? And why had she not answered my emails after all these years?
I had tried to keep in touch with her for years, but all my efforts had been ignored and left to rot in her inbox. She wasn't my friend, no matter how hard she pretended we still were. I wasn't going to fall for her sweet words and cheerful gestures, they all felt like a twisted facade to me.
No matter what happens, she will never, ever be my friend again.
Sighing, I sat up in my rather firm cot, kicking my feet up as the joints in my knees crackled during the process. The sound echoed through my ears, knocking two extra years off my lifespan. Or at least, nearing me closer to total impairment. But who even knows. I neared towards the doorframe that was partially open, the light of the sterile hallway showing through the cracks. Roxanne had left already, because apparently she was already fine. I didn't believe that for one second. I had nearly killed her, and she's all like "I'm fine," and "It's just me overreacting again,". They were not fine, and I could tell. She can hide it all she wants, but nothing is going to change the fact that she might have gotten a serious concussion from my fist alone.
I dragged myself off the bed and skimmed around the nurse's office, observing my surroundings. Band-aids and those useless ice–packs were endlessly scattered throughout the halls. There seemed to be nothing of good use to me or Roxanne in this room, so why did they send us here? They might as well have sent us home, then there would be less damned space in a stuffed, overcrowded school like ours. Heck, even throwing us out the window would be a better alternative than sending us to this useless "nurse's office". I bet the adults here aren't even qualified nurses, but I could just be crazy. Who even knows, heck, even cares at this point.
All I can do now is consider my options; either be a good girl and attend class for the rest of the day, or ditch it and go home. Was I going to abide by society's rules, or was I going to break them like the asshole that I was?
Screw it, I preferred being a freak anyway.
I edged nearer towards the door, my feet clacking against the linoleum floor. My footsteps echoed throughout the walls, and I couldn't help but curse myself for making my presence known to the careless employees at the front desk. Surprisingly enough, there were no nurses in sight. Were they on lunch break or something? How odd…
Whatever, Valen. Just leave the building, I told myself, slowly gripping the doorknob between my right fingers. The door creaked open, allowing myself to swiftly escape the health room. And the best part was, nobody cared.
Nobody fucking cared.
I paced across the lengthy halls, directing myself towards the exit. Part of me was skeptical if I was going to be able to leave at all, but the confident, cocky side of me took the overwhelming majority. I assumed that Roxanne had left a while ago, that she was either in class or had escaped just like how I planned on doing, but I figured it was the former.
Roxanne wasn't a reasonable person like I was. After being shoved by her apparent "best friend" and passing out cold on the linoleum floor, of course she would waltz back into Trigonometry like nothing had even happened. That was just the kind of person Roxanne was; eager to please, hesitant to show dignity. On the other hand, I knew that I was a horrible person. I ignored people when they needed me to listen, played games I knew I shouldn't have played. But I knew for a fact that I was assured in myself, and I didn't hesitate to do what I wanted.
It was a wish of mine that someday, Roxanne would learn how to be confident in herself, too.
Sighing, I stealthily stepped towards a window parallel from the Biology classroom. After dozens of attempted school escapes, I had mastered the art of stealth. Soft steps and quick escapes were all child's play to me. The only real challenge that laid ahead was getting past the security stationed around the perimeter of the school. An outsider had gotten into the building last fall, and the board had been paranoid since. What a shame, really. It only made it harder for the students who wanted to leave this hellhole to escape.
Luckily, I wasn't like most bad kids. I had a plan.
The blinds adorned over the window were slightly tilted, exposing the candescent world that shined beyond these walls. My hand brushed gently against them, heat radiating onto my fingertips, my body immediately filling up with warmth. A sense of comfort and longing rapidly coursed through my veins. The feeling devoured me, eventually swallowing me whole. I had to get out of this school.
Now a crazy girl possessed, I frantically pushed the bottom of the window up, allowing for a gush of wind to attack my skin. Before anyone else could notice, I jumped.
…
SPLAT!
The ground greeted me like my Aunt would on a Saturday morning. My knees cracked, bones aching all over. The school was only two stories high, and yet I felt as if I had leaped off of a skyscraper. Confusion consumed my body whole, neurons sparking and coursing through my tender spine. A guttural groan erupted from my throat and I could almost hear the gods above jeering and taunting my pained efforts. My eyes searched for a way out, but I found none. My arms felt heavy and so did my legs. All I could possibly do was wait for my body to move.
And hope that nobody would spot me laying on the grass…
No matter what I did or said, I wasn't going to get help. Nobody around here would ever willingly do me any kind of favors. According to one of my classmates, I'm considered 'scary' and 'difficult' to be friends with. I strangely disagree. At least, I never intended to be perceived that way. I know that I'm blunt. I know that I'm hard to befriend, I do know that much. However, I don't think I'm scary. Anyone who thinks I'm such, is definitely a coward. No person with balls would get intimidated by me, a sarcastic teen who has an amazing taste of music.
Anyway, I had to get up sooner or later. I couldn't handle getting caught sneaking out for the third time this month. Carl would literally throw me into the oven and eat me for dinner if that was the case. He's a good dad and all, but he's a bit of a perfectionist sometimes. Perhaps if my limbs are still broken, he would take pity on me and show an ounce of mercy.
But as I was about to give up and fall into eternal sleep, my nerves miraculously rebooted, my body springing up on instinct. My bones cracked loudly, seemingly snapping back into place.
I belted out a sigh of great relief. As much as I didn't like to admit, I was scared. Scared that I would be paralyzed for hours, even days. Heck, I could've lost control of my own body for good. If I was certain there was a god above me, watching and listening to my actions and thoughts, I would've thanked them. Unfortunately or not, I wasn't a believer. And I don't think I will ever be such. A ruler of creation didn't seem plausible, but then again, I could be fucking wrong. I'm not a smart person.
I finally stood up after a long moment of self-reflection, walking shakily towards the crossing walk. I had landed on the opposite end of the entrance, sparing me from the oh-so-terrifying presence of law enforcement. I made it over to the intersection sign, taking a moment to stretch my sore limbs. This was going to be a long way home.
Confidently striding across the narrow street, the lights above flashed bright red. Cars swerved left, barely missing my body. I didn't flinch, nor cared if I got hit or not. All I wanted to do was to be alone in solitude for as long as the Sun was sitting in the sky. When it finally made its departure, I would fall asleep and not get up for the rest of the day. Today was quite the strain on my body, as much as I hated to admit. My joints ached and screamed for fuel, my stomach asserting dominance over my brain. A wave of ravenous greed surged through my soul. I gasped, the sensation making my heart feel full and tight, veins aching and ready to burst. I couldn't handle it anymore. Has the reaper finally come to take my life…? Or had the fall taken its toll on my immune system?
As my knees buckled and I collapsed in the middle of the sidewalk, a warm breeze blew by my body, as if teasing me for my starvation. It wasn't my fault that my appetite has always been on the larger side. And especially after that honestly terrifying experience, no wonder why I would be more than hungry. A loud groan echoed through me, my brain ready to go into reset mode. I cursed, my nerves not ready to follow the reboot. My chipped nails dug into the rough sidewalk, leaving red marks on my fingertips. My body was begging - hands and knees and all - for my brain to reconsider.
And as soon as it started,
it was over.
A gravelly grunt escaped my dry lips. My knees unlocked, the trapped sensation leaving my body at last. I sprang up on instinct and I gasped for air like I hadn't breathed in years. My eyes wandered over the sidewalk. Remnants of blood were splattered all over the ground, but I was certain it was only temporary. Bloodstains like mine always washed away sooner or later, it wasn't going to be an exception for me. The cold wind flew by my figure, the bulky shadow behind me vanishing in thin air. I didn't question what just happened at this moment. No matter what happened, I wouldn't let it happen again.
The soles of my feet itched. This itch led to me towards my house, this inevitable control refusing to collapse. I had no clue who or what was guiding me towards my destination; it just felt like the right thing to obey. I haven't ever obeyed another man…why would I? I relied more on my own instincts than anything else. Others simply couldn't be trusted when it came to decision-making.
My exhausted footsteps stopped exactly right in front of my doorstep. The entrance was covered in a thick layer of dark, rich crimson paint. A soft wreath was adorned over the top hook, reminding me that Christmas was right around the corner. How odd. Despite it being halfway through November, wintertime hardly felt like winter at all. In fact, it was so warm this week that nobody at my school bothered to even put on pants; it was either skirts or jeans, a rare occasion was leggings. The yoga girls were at it again, unfortunately.
Sighing, I fidgeted with the knob, waiting until I felt a soft yet sharp click. The door crashed open without struggle, giving access inside.
Everything was just like how it was this morning. Cluttered papers and newspapers covered the coffee table, stinky shoes surrounding the mini-sized television. It was still on, of course, Carl had again forgotten to turn it off before going on his little "date" with Nathaniel. Damn Nathaniel.
That bastard was the whole damn reason I never trusted men around my uncle. How could I only say one bad thing about him? To keep it short, he was arrogant - a man who believed he was on the top of the world. Ladies swarmed him at all times. Only when he pretended to care about Carl was when he dismissed his damn prostitutes. And even then, he still shamelessly flirts with chicks on his phone when he comes over to our house. It enraged me how vain this man was. Nathaniel Douglas was a Casanova, and he fucking knew it.
I traced my dirty fingers over my uncle's small note on the top of the blaring television screen. It was a rather brief message, the paper filled with scraggly letters and a rough signature to match. My eyes skimmed over it like it was a declaration of absence;
Bunny,
I'm going on a date. I'll see you around 11.
-Carl
P.S. Don't worry if I'm not home tonight. I'll be there in the morning.
I'll be there in the morning.
That's what he said a month ago when Nathaniel took him away on a 10-day vacation to his private beach house without me knowing. I had to fend for myself, and Carl didn't even bother to leave me with a week's worth of food. I was on the verge of killing a stray cat by the time he pulled up to our house in a blue Ferrari, flustered like the pathetic bottom he is.
And yet… I worried about him. Often. He was the man who took me in, after all. He cared for me when nobody else would. And in that context, is why I couldn't ever hate him. He was the only one who mattered.
And that was the reason why Nathaniel had to go.