Yu Sheng died.
When she truly faced death in that moment, she didn't feel fear—there was even a trace of relief.
She let her soul drift lightly out of her body, lowering her head to look at her pale face on the hospital bed. The green line on the heart monitor had already gone flat, emitting a piercing alarm.
The doctors performed final CPR on her until they officially declared her death and went out to inform the family.
Outside the emergency room, her mother-in-law stood pale-faced, making a phone call, stammering as she delivered the news of her death.
Yes, she was dead. And her wife—Shen Yunmian—was not by her side at this moment.
Even so, Yu Sheng felt no disappointment, no pain, no anger… she simply watched everything calmly.
Dying like this… wasn't so bad.
She didn't even know when she had first developed the thought of wanting to die.
She only felt tired—as if a massive mountain was pressing down on her, leaving her unable to breathe.
Thinking carefully, perhaps it began when Shen Xingyao, her sister-in-law whom she had practically raised like a daughter, was caught in a high school romance and the school called the parents. Yu Sheng had only said a few words, yet Shen Xingyao pointed at her nose and cursed:
"You're just my sister-in-law, not my mom! What right do you have to control me?! The day my sister divorces you, you'll be nothing—so stop putting on airs as my sister-in-law!"
Or perhaps it was when her parents passed away one after another, leaving her with no family in this world, only herself, alone.
And the wife she once deeply loved—successful in career and outstanding in appearance—was cold-hearted and indifferent. Again and again, she rejected Yu Sheng's attempts at closeness, while maintaining no boundaries with her sworn younger sister, allowing the media to spread scandals and stir up rumors. Even as the rumors of their marriage breaking down grew more intense, she ignored them completely, turning Yu Sheng into a laughingstock among wealthy circles.
Or maybe it was even earlier—when her child was lost in an accident, and the doctor told her it might be difficult to conceive again. Shen Yunmian only comforted her lightly, saying it was nothing; she hadn't liked children anyway.
With that single sentence, all of Yu Sheng's grievances were forced back down, and from then on, she never mentioned wanting children again.
Only then did she realize—after seven years of marriage with Shen Yunmian, she had lost so much. In the end, she had been trapped alive within this marriage, until she had nothing left but despair.
How had she ended up like this?
Yu Sheng drifted out of the hospital. She didn't know where she was going, only letting the night wind carry her into the distance.
Until she reached the banquet hall of the Pearl Hotel.
Through the glass window, she saw Shen Yunmian standing among the crowd, hand in hand with the newly crowned Best Actress—her sworn younger sister, Lin Ruoyan. Surrounded like stars around the moon, they laughed and chatted.
Yu Sheng's heart suddenly ached, then quickly relaxed.
She should have known, shouldn't she?
Today was Lin Ruoyan's award ceremony. Shen Yunmian had worked tirelessly to elevate her from an unknown actress to a Best Actress. The two of them should rightfully stand together under the spotlight, enjoying the fruits of victory.
Standing in the corner, Yu Sheng's gaze passed through the bustling crowd and fixed on Shen Yunmian not far away.
She wore a black evening gown that accentuated her already tall figure, making her look even more slender. Her long hair was casually pinned up, revealing her graceful neck. Every movement carried elegance and composure. Beside her, Lin Ruoyan wore a white dress, smiling sweetly. When the two looked at each other, there was an unspoken understanding between them.
Yu Sheng wanted to look away, but found she couldn't move.
Low whispers drifted into her ears:
"President Shen and Best Actress Lin really look perfect together."
"I heard they grew up together—their relationship is especially close."
"What a pity President Shen is married. They were forcibly separated, how tragic!"
"The one you can't have is always the most precious. I bet President Shen's true love is still Best Actress Lin."
—
The voices around Yu Sheng became increasingly blurred, and the scene before her seemed veiled in a thin mist.
Her life flashed before her eyes like a revolving lantern.
Because Shen Yunmian was the senior she had secretly loved for years, she impulsively agreed to the arranged marriage.
She had once naïvely believed that as long as she worked hard enough—being gentle and considerate—one day she could move Shen Yunmian's heart.
For seven years of marriage, she tried to be the perfect wife: caring for her family, educating her sister, managing the household, handling social engagements. When Shen Yunmian's grandmother was gravely ill, Yu Sheng stayed awake for days to take care of her, not wanting Shen Yunmian to worry… until she died from overwork.
Yu Sheng suddenly felt that her entire life was a joke.
What she thought was love had merely been a self-deceiving solo performance. Shen Yunmian had never loved her.
Not because of Lin Ruoyan—she had always believed she was innocent. Shen Yunmian, someone who always prioritized rationality, would never cheat or act recklessly. But she also didn't know how to love, nor did she need love. What she wanted was simply an obedient, sensible wife to manage the family affairs, and in return she offered money and status—nothing more.
It was Yu Sheng who had been blinded by so-called love, failing to see the truth, wasting her entire life in vain.
At this moment, Yu Sheng couldn't help but feel regret.
She shouldn't have married Shen Yunmian… and even more so, she shouldn't have humbly longed for a love that never existed.
Her consciousness began to fade.
At the very last moment before she lost awareness, she saw from afar that Shen Yunmian answered a phone call, staggering in shock as her phone slipped from her hand and fell to the ground.
Looking utterly disheveled, she pushed through the crowd, staring straight in her direction.
But Yu Sheng didn't want to look anymore.
She closed her eyes and calmly embraced death…
Yet for some reason, that feeling of nearing death began to slowly fade.
Her gradually cooling body was wrapped in warmth again. She began to feel waves of pain, and as her consciousness became clearer, she finally realized—the pain came from her lower abdomen.
What was happening? Could a person still feel pain after death?
She had vasovagal syncope and was already afraid of pain. Stimulated by the pain in her abdomen, she let out a cry and opened her eyes in confusion—
Only to find herself lying on a hospital bed.
Yu Sheng instinctively raised her hand, only to notice an IV tube inserted into her arm.
"You're awake?"
Before she could react, a familiar cold voice sounded.
She froze for a moment, slowly turning her head—
Shen Yunmian was sitting beside the bed, holding a document, looking at her calmly.
Shen Yunmian? Why was she here?
Yu Sheng's voice was hoarse, her throat burning with pain. "Shen Yunmian… I… what happened to me?"
Shen Yunmian paused, seeming slightly surprised at how distant her wife addressed her.
She frowned slightly, closed the document, and spoke with difficulty:
"You fainted from low blood sugar. The child… couldn't be saved."
Yu Sheng stared at her in shock. "You… what did you say?"
"The child is gone." Shen Yunmian rarely held her hand, comforting her. "Yu Sheng, your body is very weak right now. Get some rest. Don't be too sad. The child… wasn't anything special anyway."
Hearing the exact same words as in her past life, Yu Sheng's face filled with disbelief.
She had been reborn.
She had gone back five years.
At that time, she and Shen Yunmian had been married for two years. She had just become pregnant, only to lose the child in an accident. Yu Sheng felt even more distressed now—not only because of losing the child, but because of the timing of her rebirth.
Why bring her back to this moment?
Wouldn't it have been better to send her back two years earlier—before she married Shen Yunmian?
Feeling the dull pain in her lower abdomen, Yu Sheng couldn't help but think how fate truly liked to toy with people, making her experience the pain of losing her child all over again.
A bitter smile escaped her lips as she lay on the hospital bed, the faint dripping sound of the IV echoing in her ears.
"Yu Sheng, are you okay?" Shen Yunmian's voice remained restrained.
Yu Sheng didn't answer. She simply turned her head to look out the window, clearly refusing to communicate.
In her previous life, her child had been lost because of her sister-in-law.
Shen Xingyao had brought classmates home to celebrate Halloween. Someone had cosplayed a vampire, and to make it realistic, they had actually put stage-use fake blood in their mouth. At that time, Yu Sheng had just woken up and heard the commotion, so she went out to check—only to see the person wearing a vampire mask suddenly spray out a mouthful of blood.
She had vasovagal syncope to begin with, feared stimulation, and fainted at the sight of blood. In that moment of shock, she fainted on the spot.
Afterward, her mother-in-law sent her to the hospital. Shen Xingyao begged her desperately not to tell her sister, Shen Yunmian. Back then, Yu Sheng had softened for a moment and agreed. Now, thinking of the cruel words Shen Xingyao later pointed at her and said, Yu Sheng only felt that she had been a fool—her goodwill thrown to the dogs.
Given a second life, she would never serve that ungrateful wretch again.
Yu Sheng raised her eyes to look at Shen Yunmian and said calmly, "What did you just say I fainted from?"
Seemingly not expecting the question, Shen Yunmian paused before answering truthfully, "Mom said you fainted from low blood sugar. Wasn't that the case?"
"Of course not." Yu Sheng let out a cold laugh. "I fainted because of your sister—she scared me."
Shen Yunmian's cold expression cracked instantly. "What did you say?"
Ignoring her shock completely, Yu Sheng didn't hide anything and told everything as it was.
Of course, she wasn't doing this to gain Shen Yunmian's guilt, but to temporarily free herself from the restraints.
She didn't want to move back to the old residence and deal with those messy people and affairs anymore. She just wanted to quietly recover alone through her postpartum confinement, then find an opportunity to divorce Shen Yunmian.
After all, both families were wealthy and influential, with too many entangled interests. It wasn't something she could sever immediately with a single sentence of divorce. She had to go home and discuss it first. Thinking of her family, her nose stung, and tears welled up in her eyes.
Fortunately… her mother was still alive. She wasn't alone.
Seeing her reddened eyes, Shen Yunmian paused, about to speak—when her phone suddenly rang.
She answered it, listened, then said naturally, "Got it. I'll be back at the company in half an hour."
Hearing that, Yu Sheng refused to look at her. Her gaze fell on the wedding ring on Shen Yunmian's ring finger. Under the light, the ring gave off a cold sheen—just like her, always calm and restrained, as if she would never lose composure, even when losing her own child.
At this moment, Yu Sheng felt resentment—for herself, and for the child she never got to meet.
Their child was gone. She was suffering both physically and mentally. And in her previous life, Shen Yunmian had done exactly this—answered a call, said barely a few comforting words, then hurriedly left.
This life was no different. Only because of the complication involving her sister did Shen Yunmian say a few extra sentences.
She said, "Yu Sheng, this matter is Xingyao's fault. I'll go back and discipline her properly. The doctor said you're no longer in danger, but you still need bed rest. I'll have the driver take you home first."
It didn't even sound like a question—it was more like an order, as if she were speaking to a subordinate.
"No." Yu Sheng replied coldly.
Shen Yunmian had already turned to instruct her secretary outside to handle the discharge procedures. After taking two steps, she realized what Yu Sheng had said and turned back in surprise.
"What did you say?"
"I said no." Yu Sheng met her gaze directly. "The doctor said after a miscarriage, I need postpartum rest and quiet recovery. The old residence is too noisy—it's not suitable."
"Is that the only reason?" Shen Yunmian examined her.
Yu Sheng countered, "What else do you think?"
Shen Yunmian wasn't someone who liked beating around the bush. She said bluntly, "Yu Sheng, you're angry. I know you resent Xingyao. I already said I'll discipline her. If that's still not enough to calm you down, what else do you want? I'll do my best to compensate you. Don't say things like this out of spite."
Listen to that tone—so logical, as if refusing would make Yu Sheng unreasonable and lacking in grace.
In her previous life, it was precisely because Shen Yunmian said she hoped her wife would be sensible and composed that Yu Sheng tried desperately to meet that standard. But it brought her nothing in return.
In this life, she didn't want to be "sensible" anymore.
Yu Sheng let out a cold laugh. "Shen Yunmian, I lost my child—do I not even have the right to be angry?"
To Shen Yunmian, those words still sounded like mere petulance.
She looked at Yu Sheng in surprise, feeling that something about her wife had changed. The Yu Sheng she knew would never speak like this—she had always been obedient and considerate, never so sharp and unyielding.
In her view, the child was already gone, her sister was still young, and she had already promised discipline and offered a solution. If Yu Sheng was dissatisfied, she could state her demands directly instead of speaking in this sarcastic tone.
Shen Yunmian was not used to this version of Yu Sheng. She frowned. "Yu Sheng, stop being emotional. What exactly do you want?"
If this had been before, Yu Sheng would have felt disappointed, hurt, and tried to seek comfort.
But now, completely disillusioned and understanding Shen Yunmian all too well, she simply said calmly:
"Shen Yunmian, I'm not being emotional. I just want to rest. I don't want to go back to the old residence. I want to go home to recover."
"My own home," she added.
But in Shen Yunmian's ears, it still sounded like:
"Fine. I'll have someone tidy up and let the driver take you to Jiuxi Bay."
Jiuxi Bay was their marital home after marriage. They had lived there for less than two months before moving back to the old residence when Shen Yunmian's grandmother fell seriously ill. Since Shen Yunmian had been raised by her grandmother, she couldn't bear to see the old lady miss her granddaughter every day. So they moved back—despite Yu Sheng disliking life there, she endured it until death.
Now, she not only didn't want to return to the old residence, she didn't even want to go back to that suffocating marital home.
Yu Sheng spoke again, "I want to stay at Jingshui Bay."
That was a small two-bedroom apartment her parents had bought for her before marriage. It was suitable for recovery, peaceful, and for now, it wouldn't alarm her mother. She didn't want her mother to worry for her again.
Hearing this, Shen Yunmian frowned in confusion. "Yu Sheng, do you have to do this?"
"Yes." Yu Sheng's voice was soft, but filled with determination. "I have to stay there."
Shen Yunmian fell silent for a moment before saying, "Yu Sheng, you need to calm down."
"Calm down?" Yu Sheng suddenly found it a bit laughable. "Shen Yunmian, you're always like this—calm and rational. But have you ever thought that I'm a human being? Our child is gone—I feel pain too. I can break down too."
Shen Yunmian was momentarily surprised by her loss of control, but quickly returned to composure. "Yu Sheng, I understand. If you need time to calm down and adjust, I can give you that time."
"Good. Then I'll tell you now." Yu Sheng no longer wanted to argue meaninglessly. She said coldly, "I need rest. I need quiet. I need to rest in a place that completely belongs to me. Is that okay?"
Shen Yunmian looked at her for a long time, then said helplessly, "Do as you wish."
Yu Sheng said nothing more. She simply turned away, no longer looking at her.
Shen Yunmian didn't say anything else. She instructed her personal secretary to stay behind and handle matters, then left in a hurry.
The moment the door closed, Yu Sheng could no longer hold back. She buried her face in the blanket as silent tears streamed down.
For herself… and for the child she had lost.
Once the tears were shed, it was time to say goodbye to her past self.
Given another life, she couldn't go on like this.
Even without love, there were still many things in life.
In this life, she would live for herself.
—
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