The dawn light that seeped through the cracks of the old wooden window was not merciful at all. It was a pale, revealing gray light, harshly announcing the end of dream time and the beginning of "mask" time. Elina woke to find Levi already standing before the small mirror hanging next to his wardrobe, putting on his white ascot with extreme precision. His movements were mechanical and solemn, as if those hands hadn't been wildly tangled in her hair just hours ago, or carving marks of passion onto her skin.
The room still smelled of them; a mixture of strong soap, black tea, and the scent of her femininity that had blended with their sweat in a night unlike any other in the history of the headquarters. Elina looked at his broad back, at those many scars, each telling a story of death or survival. She felt an overwhelming urge to rise, cross the forbidden distance, and hold him from behind to reclaim the warmth of the night. But the tone of his voice, when he finally spoke, was enough to freeze the blood in her veins.
"Ten minutes, Elina," he said without turning, his voice sharp as a blade once more, devoid of any emotion that might suggest what had happened between them. "Fix the bed with extreme care. I don't want a single strand of hair, a speck of dust, or a strange scent left in this office. Then leave through the back door leading to the kitchens. If anyone sees you, you were cleaning the office as an additional punishment."
Elina rose slowly, her body still feeling the lethargy and the burning heat of his touch that had not yet faded. She felt as if she were living in a state of schizophrenia; the man of the night who whispered her name with hunger, and the man of the morning who commanded her as if she were a piece of furniture.
"Levi..." she called his name, her voice raspy with suppressed reproach. "Are we going to continue this? Pretending like we are strangers? As if those promises you made in the dark were nothing but smoke?"
Levi turned suddenly, and with a speed her eyes could not follow, he was directly in front of her. His gray eyes were cold as ice, but deep within them was a spark of possession that could not be mistaken. He grabbed her jaw with a force that made her moan, then leaned in to give her a swift, violent, and painful kiss that left the taste of metal and blood on her delicate lips.
"Outside, I am your commander who might send you to your death at any moment without blinking an eye," he whispered hoarsely, tightening his grip on her jaw, his warm breath hitting her face. "Inside, you are the woman who made me betray every principle I built my life upon. Choose whichever mask you want to wear, Elina, but show not a single ounce of weakness in front of the soldiers, or I will be forced to kill you with my own hands before the Titans do. Do you understand?"
She nodded silently, tears burning her eyelids but she refused to shed them. This was the price they had agreed upon; a love with the taste of death, and a relationship built over a minefield.
Two hours after that cold confrontation, the Scout Regiment was lining up in the main courtyard under the sun that began to burn their shoulders. Commander-in-Chief Erwin Smith stood at the front, majestic in his stature, with Levi by his side, looking like a statue carved from black marble, unshakeable even as the wind played with the green regiment cloak behind his back.
The hand-to-hand combat drills began, and Levi was supervising the group that included Elina. He was not merciful at all; in fact, he was harsh on her in a way that drew everyone's attention. He pushed her to the hard ground twice during training, and on the third time, he kicked her leg with a force that sent her sprawling in the dust before her comrades' eyes.
"Is this the level you intend to meet the Titans with, soldier?" Levi shouted, standing over her in his dominance, his shadow covering her body trembling from fatigue and emotional pain. "If you are this weak, your place is in the graveyard under the dirt, not in the Scout Regiment! Get up!"
Elina saw a hidden and painful challenge in his eyes. He was testing her endurance and protecting their secret with a shroud of excessive cruelty. She felt a bitterness in her throat as she tried to rise, but she did not give up. She wiped the dust from her face and looked at him with a defiance that matched his coldness.
Under Erwin Smith's suspicious gaze, which moved slowly between the Commander and the soldier, Levi approached Elina to roughly reach out his hand to help her up. In the brief moment their rough fingers touched, he squeezed her palm with immense force—a squeeze unnoticed by any of the surrounding soldiers, but it was a coded secret message saying: "I am watching every breath you take... you are mine, even in the middle of this hell."
But the real danger did not come only from Erwin. A little further away, Hange Zoë stood adjusting her glasses, a mysterious and suspicious smile on her face. Her mad eyes had glimpsed something that should not be seen; perhaps a small red mark under Elina's collar that she couldn't hide well, or perhaps the way Levi's hand trembled for a single second that no one but her noticed.
"My God," Hange whispered to herself as she slowly walked away. "It seems the little monster has finally found something that makes him human... and this could be the most beautiful or the most dangerous thing that has happened to us."
The atmosphere was charged, and every movement was calculated. Elina knew that the next chapter of her life would not just be training, but a struggle for survival in the heart of an emotional conspiracy that could shatter the entire Regiment if revealed. And as the time for the next mission outside the walls approached, she realized that Levi would put her through the hardest test possible; the test of love under the fire of war.