The first person through the door wasn't who Xu Wanyin expected.
Her mother looked... older. Way older than she remembered. There were lines around her eyes that weren't there before, her hair had more gray in it. She was wearing an expensive coat though, dark blue cashmere that Wanyin didn't recognize. Since when could her mother afford cashmere?
"Wanyin." Her mother's voice was cold. Not worried, not relieved. Just cold. "You're finally awake."
Finally? Like it was an inconvenience that she'd been in a coma for three weeks?
"Mom?" Wanyin tried to sit up but her ribs screamed in protest and she fell back against the pillows with a gasp. "What... what happened to me?"
Her mother didn't come closer. She stood near the door like she was afraid to get too close. "What happened is you drove drunk and crashed your car. The doctors said you're lucky to be alive. Though I'm not sure luck is the right word for it."
Drunk? She wasn't drunk, she'd been crying but she wasn't—
"I don't remember drinking anything," Wanyin said. Her head was pounding. "I remember leaving the hotel but I wasn't drunk, I was just upset—"
"Of course you were upset." Her mother's lips pressed into a thin line. "You're always upset about something these days. Always causing drama."
That word again. Drama. Dramatic. Like her feelings didn't matter, like everything she felt was just her being difficult.
"Mom, I don't understand. The doctor said I lost five years of memories. Can you just... can you tell me what's been going on? Please?"
Her mother was quiet for a long moment and then she sighed, a heavy sound full of disappointment. "You really don't remember anything?"
"No! That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
"Then I suppose I should start from the beginning." Her mother finally moved closer but she didn't sit down. She stood at the end of the bed, hands clasped in front of her. "Five years ago you left your modeling career. You signed with Tianyi Entertainment instead of Star King. Do you remember that?"
Tianyi? Wanyin frowned, trying to think. Star King had made her an offer, a really good offer. She'd been so excited about it. But Tianyi... she didn't know anything about Tianyi.
"Why would I do that? Star King was offering me everything I wanted."
"Because of him." Her mother's voice got even colder somehow. "Because of Shen Jingwei."
That name. Something twisted in Wanyin's chest when she heard it. Something that felt almost like recognition but not quite. Like her body remembered even if her mind didn't.
"Who is Shen Jingwei?"
Her mother laughed but there was no humor in it. "You really don't know? Well. I suppose that's a blessing then. Shen Jingwei is the CEO of Tianyi Entertainment. He's also married. And you..." she paused, and when she spoke again her voice was full of disgust. "You've been his mistress for the past four years."
The room tilted.
Mistress.
She'd been someone's mistress.
"No," Wanyin said immediately, shaking her head even though it made her dizzy. "No, that's not... I wouldn't do that. I would never—"
"But you did." Her mother cut her off. "You threw away everything for him. Your career, your reputation, your family's respect. Star King blacklisted you because you broke your contract to be with him. You became the other woman and you didn't even care who knew about it."
This couldn't be real. This had to be some kind of mistake or nightmare. Xu Wanyin wasn't that kind of person, she would never be someone's mistress, she had morals and self-respect and—
But then why was her mother looking at her like that? Like she was something dirty?
"I don't believe you," Wanyin whispered but even as she said it, she could feel doubt creeping in. Five years. Five years she couldn't remember. Five years where apparently she'd become someone she didn't recognize.
"Believe it or don't, it doesn't change the facts." Her mother turned toward the door. "Your sister is outside. She wanted to see you but I told her not to bother. You two haven't spoken in over a year, not since you chose that man over your own family."
"Wait!" Wanyin tried to sit up again, ignoring the pain. "Mom, please. I don't understand any of this. If I really did those things, why? Why would I throw everything away?"
Her mother stopped at the door and looked back at her and for just a second, Wanyin saw something that looked almost like pity cross her face.
"Because you loved him," she said quietly. "Or at least you thought you did. You loved him so much you were willing to accept being second place. Being the secret. We all tried to talk sense into you but you wouldn't listen. You said he was going to leave his wife for you. That it was just a matter of time."
"And did he?" Wanyin asked even though she already knew the answer from the way her mother's expression shifted.
"Of course not. Men like Shen Jingwei don't leave their wives for their mistresses. They just use them until they get bored." Her mother opened the door. "The hospital bills are being taken care of by him. He's been here every day since the accident, waiting for you to wake up. I expect he'll be back soon now that the nurses have called him."
Him. Shen Jingwei. The man who apparently owned four years of her life that she couldn't remember.
"I don't want to see him," Wanyin said quickly. Her heart was racing, panic building in her chest. "Mom, please. I don't want to see him."
"That's not up to me. He pays for everything now. Your apartment, your expenses. Even your father's medical treatments." Her mother's voice was flat. "We're all living off his money. So when he comes, you'll see him. And you'll be grateful."
Then she was gone and Wanyin was alone in the too-white hospital room with a past she didn't remember and a future she didn't want.
She looked down at her hands. They were shaking.
A mistress. She'd been a mistress for four years.
What kind of person had she become?
---
The nurse came in about an hour later to check her vitals and Wanyin grabbed her wrist without thinking.
"The man who's been visiting me. Shen Jingwei. When he comes back, can you... can you tell him I'm sleeping? That I can't have visitors?"
The nurse looked uncomfortable. "Miss Xu, I don't think—"
"Please." Wanyin knew she sounded desperate but she didn't care. "I just need time. I need to understand what happened before I see him. Please."
The nurse hesitated and then nodded slowly. "I'll try. But Miss Xu, he's very insistent. I don't know how long I can put him off."
"Just give me today. That's all I'm asking."
After the nurse left, Wanyin stared at the ceiling and tried to piece together a life she didn't remember living. Her mother said she'd given up her modeling career. That she'd chosen a married man over everything else. That she'd become the kind of woman she used to judge.
How did that happen? How did she go from being Xu Wanyin, the girl with big dreams and bigger morals, to being someone's secret?
There had to be more to the story. There had to be something her mother wasn't telling her. People didn't just throw their whole lives away for no reason.
But even as she thought that, doubt whispered in the back of her mind. Because the truth was she didn't know what she was capable of anymore. She didn't know who she'd been for the past five years.
And that scared her more than anything else.
The door opened again and Wanyin's whole body tensed, thinking it was him, thinking Shen Jingwei had come despite what she'd asked.
But it was a different person. A young woman, probably mid-twenties, with long dark hair and expensive clothes. She looked familiar somehow but Wanyin couldn't place her.
"Jiejie," the woman said and her voice was shaking. "You're awake."
Jiejie. Sister.
This was Xu Qian? Her little sister?
But Xu Qian had been nineteen the last time Wanyin remembered seeing her. A college student with messy hair and cheap clothes. This woman looked polished and sophisticated and nothing like the sister she remembered.
"Qian?" Wanyin's voice cracked. "Is that really you?"
Xu Qian's eyes filled with tears but she didn't come closer. She stayed by the door, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. "I told myself I wouldn't cry. I told myself I was done crying over you."
"What do you mean?"
"You don't remember, do you? You don't remember any of it." Qian laughed but it sounded bitter. "The doctor said you might have amnesia but I didn't believe it. I thought maybe you were just pretending, like you always do when things get hard."
"I'm not pretending! I really don't remember!"
"Then you're lucky." Qian wiped at her eyes angrily. "You're lucky you don't remember what you did. What you became. How you destroyed our family's reputation and didn't even care."
Every word felt like a slap. Wanyin wanted to defend herself but how could she defend actions she didn't remember taking?
"Qian, please. Mom said we haven't talked in over a year. What happened? Why did we stop talking?"
Her sister was quiet for a long time and when she finally spoke, her voice was so quiet Wanyin almost didn't hear her.
"Because I asked you to choose. Him or us. And you chose him."
Then Xu Qian turned and walked out and Wanyin was alone again with the weight of five years she didn't remember and a family that looked at her like she was a stranger.
She'd lost everything. Her career, her family, her self-respect.
For a man whose face she couldn't even remember.