China (October, 2023)
Hello there.
I spent 2 years in China, and here's what i've learned.
1. Love your community.
2. Love is food, not words.
3.Respect your elders
4. Respect your home.
Let me explain on number 1.
Loving your community. I first started in Beijing in October of 2024. It was cold, dry. But much better than where I had previously lived. I had completely uprooted my life, my job and everything to move here. I had no community, my family lived all the way in the United States still. They wouldn't come to visit the whole time I lived in China.
The only community I had was my job (I worked in Tech, IT support.). Maybe the residents in the building i lived in. The people i worked with brought me into so many situations that brought me into the friends i have now. I wouldn't have done half the things I've done if it wasn't for them.
#2. Love is food, not words.
2 weeks after moving to China, I got sick. What was probably what most people call Traveler's Flu, turned out to be much worse. I got Pneumonia in the FIRST TWO weeks.
I had messaged my colleagues to tell them I'd most likely be out of work for about 3 days (Had to sort out the antibiotics, and get a chest x-ray.). They were supportive and I am forever grateful for them. They showed up at my apartment with food, Real, homemade food. Sick meals that were easy to reheat, easy to eat on the nights when coughing made me stay up until 3 AM.
Number 3. Respect your elders.
In China, there is this saying, "老吾老,以及人之老", or in English, "Respect your own elders, and extend that respect to all elders".
Elders are highly respected, and they should be.
One of the best people I met was a 58 year old man. He worked in the same department as me, and he'd been doing this job for so much longer than I. Everyday, he and I would sit outside during our break and mediate, or talk about life. He spoke poor English, and i, at the time, spoke even WORSE Chinese. He would speak to me in only Chinese and wouldn't respond until I replied, even if it was bad, shaky. He'd correct me, I'd promise to remember next time, (I wouldn't). He called me one of his children, tell me stories of when he was younger, work stories. stories about his wife and children, grandchildren too.
Number 4. Respect your home.
Renting standards are extremely high in China. I lived in a highrise apartment with so many good immedites.
I've always been known to keep my house extremely clean. Shoes off at the door, if I could. If i couldn't, then I'd bought these plastic booties (even for my heels, i got REALLY good at not slipping when having plastic on the heel.) Mopping daily, trying to figure out what cleaners are safe for what. I spent so many weekends and evenings cleaning the apartment from top to bottom, I even at one time, hired a cleaning crew.
Your home is where you go to relax. To breathe, to live. I loved to cook recipes my coworkers would send me. Laying on the couch for hours, doomscrolling on my phone. occasionally replying to messages on WeChat.
I miss my Chinese family.
The people who brought me food when I was sick. The women who held me when I cried over stupid C-Dramas. My Neighbors who would check in every time they saw me. The people who even though I was foreign, treated me like I was one of their own/ The people who FORCED me to actually practice Chinese in the daily. The Healthcare system that clocked that I had endometriosis before the US healthcare system even thought about it.
I hope to return to China one day.
Thank you for reading.
- Xeron.