Next Morning
ETHAN'S POV
The classroom was a cathedral of quietness, the only sounds that was heard, was the soft tapping of keys and the low hum of the projector. A tomb of concentration.
His domain!
Professor Kai's Computer Science lecture.
On any other day, the weight of code and theory would have lulled me straight to sleep. But today, my senses were dialed to eleven.
The world behind me faded, my mind occupying the space. The soft measured click of his leather shoes on the marble floor, the sharp, crisp lines of his tailored shirt, stretched taut across his shoulders. And that scent—a clean, sharp cologne with a hint of something darker, like sandalwood and night air, that somehow makes me rows back and filled my head.
My gaze, helplessly, drifted to his mouth. The way his lips formed with each technical term, the slight purse of concentration, the faint glimpse of his tongue. A shiver, completely involuntary, traced a path straight down my spine.
Just by staring, I could tell, they'd be… good for kissing.
Soft, but firm, and so demanding.
"But I'll never get to do that!" I reminded myself.
The thought was a cold splash of reality, but it was quickly replaced by another, more urgent observation. Because despite the impeccable suit, the perfectly knotted tie, the composed posture… his eyes told a different story, because his eyes looked like, he's being awake all night
Tired,
Weary?
Shadows pooled beneath them, a stark contrast to his otherwise sharp features.
I saw it all from my distance, and just like that, my own focus shattered, as the lecture faded into meaningless noise.
Did he find it hard to sleep because of me?
The question was a live wire in my brain. Was it something I did?
Something I said yesterday?
Did something happen? Was he robbed? Is he sick?
The questions looped, a chaotic silent scream in my skull, until a sharp tap on my shoulder jolted me back into my body.
I flinched, turning, Sarah!, Of course.
"What?" I whispered, my voice rough.
"You're not writing anything down," she hissed back, pointing her pen at my blank notepad.
I blinked, looking around, the entire class was scribbling. I'd missed the instruction entirely, Again!. "Shit," I muttered under my breath, forcing a weak, apologetic smile her way.
"Thanks."I whispered.
"And that will be all for today," Professor Kai's voice cut through the room, firm and final. He was already snapping his textbook shut, as a few eager students shot their hands up, but he waved them off with a tired motion. "Hold your questions until next time, and I promise to address them all."
I glanced at my watch, he was leaving early. A full thirty minutes early!?, my stomach tightened, and then, I knew my guess was right, Something is wrong!
My eyes followed him, tracking his form until he disappeared through the door. The hall erupted into the usual post-class cacophony, chairs scraping, bags zipping, voices rising. I stayed rooted to my seat, trying to wrestle my own stupid, hopeful heart into submission. Leaving now meant a choice: go to the dorm, or… go after him.
"You're not leaving?" Her voice again— Sarah!, She showed up beside my row, a persistent and unwelcome shadow. She'd been a constant, clinging presence for weeks, and right now, her timing was spectacularly bad.
"Yeah, Just… letting the crowd thin out," I said, hurriedly shoving my unused notebook into my backpack.
"Oh.... Well, I'm heading to the theater room, and there's a show, Want to come with?" She offered a bright, expectant smile.
I sighed, the sound full of a frustration I couldn't hide. "Sarah, I can't, I've got somewhere to be."
Her smile vanished, her face tightened. "You always say that!, Why does it feel like you actively hate me?"
Her bluntness stunned me. "Why… why would you say that?" I stammered, standing up and slinging my bag over my shoulder.
She just gave me a long, hard look, a mix of hurt and anger. "You know what? Forget it, I'll just avoid you and then you won't have to make up excuses." She didn't storm off; she turned with a cold, precise motion and walked away.
I released a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. Her drama was a problem for another day, but for now, Professor Kai, is my main priority.
That was the only thought that mattered to me, I just wanted to ask if he was okay!, I wanted him to tell me his problems, to confide in me.
To let me be his solace!
But his warning from yesterday echoed, a hammer against my skull. "All of this never happened."
All this conflict was a physical ache as I finally stepped into the hallway, my thoughts still drowning in it.
And then I saw it, a small, motivational poster tacked sloppily to a bulletin board, nestled between club flyers and event notices.
"THERE'S NO HARM IN TRYING"
Those words hit me with the force of a physical blow, as my gaze locked onto them. It felt like a sign, a message!, and I'm being too hard on myself.
I can… try.
A wild, hopeful leap in my chest, immediately throttled by the memory of his stern command.
'I DON'T FEEL THE SAME WAY!'
"Gosh…!" I slapped my own forehead, the sting a minor punishment for my own tormenting indecision.
~
Outside Professor Kai's office door, I stood stupidly, a cheerful strawberry drink sweating cold condensed into my palm. My heart was a frantic drum against my ribs, while this two word's rings continually in my head:
Knock, or run?
How did I even get here?
Trust me, I didn't know how I got here, but there are Forty-five steps, on the stairs up here.I counted each one, my mind a frantic mess.
And now I stood here, Paralyzed!
I shoved my free hand deep into my pocket, leaning my forehead against the cool wall beside his door, my head spinning, and this is insane.
I tried to picture his face when he sees me here.
Furious?
He would clench his jaw, his eyes dark and flashing?
He'll scream angrily at me?, Tell me to get out.
Maybe he'll…
I forced my body to move, as I raised a trembling fist and knocked. The sound was absurdly loud in the empty corridor.
Silence.
I knocked again, harder this time,
««Knock Knock Knock.»»
Nothing, Just the echo of my own nervous violence against the wood.
Hesitantly, my fingers found the cold brass handle. I pushed, through, as the door swung inward without resistance, My breath caught up.
I took a single, hesitant step into the dimly lit room. The blinds were half-drawn, casting long shadows across the bookcases, as my eyes adjusted, scanning, and then they landed on his desk.
He was there, slumped over, his head was resting on a stack of papers, his body still in his chair, unnervingly still.
"Professor Kai?" My voice was a dry crackle, but he didn't stir.
"Professor Kai?" I called again, louder, taking another step into the room, but the only answer was the hum of his computer.
A cold dread began to pool in my stomach, as I moved faster now, my own anxiety forgotten. "Professor Kai!!"
I rushed the last few feet to his desk, my hand reached out, shaking his shoulder. "Professor? Are you—"
His body was warm, but limp under my touch, I gently tried to lift his head, my heart hammering against my throat.
His face was pale, beaded with a fine sheen of cold sweat, his breathing was shallow, a ragged, shaky rhythm that shuddered through him. His eyes were closed, his features slack.
He's not asleep, He's…