Everybody laughs at Sir Pentious' description of all his other fights with Alastor - who still can't remember any of them - and Pentious pouts at all of them while saying "I happen to be of the opinion that my inventions are perfectly good. My turn! Mm…Calliope, truth or dare!"
Calli grins, saying "Truth."
"What's the craziest fight you've gotten into?"
Calli thinks for a minute, then says "Well, aside from this one that's better off left in the past, there's the time I had to fight my way through and eventually dismantle a giant mafia in Greed Ring and pop Mammon's massive ego once again. Took about…two and a half weeks, I think that time was. After that, I heard he started some circus deal."
Everyone stares at Calli in shock, and Vaggie dumbfoundedly asks "You can go to the other Rings?!"
Calli nods, saying "Yeah. I'm not really a 'mortal' soul anymore, haven't been in a long time. Sinners can't because of the agreement made - the true demons stay out of Pride Ring unless on business there so the mortal souls have a place of their own, and in return mortal souls don't head down to the other Rings. Me…I'm one of the few people that can travel to the other Rings freely - though, I can hardly go anywhere down there since a lot of demons remember me." Especially since, every few centuries, Mammon starts making waves and causing trouble - Greed just isn't enough for the guy, he has the worst aspects of all the other Sins as well. He's more gluttonous than Beelzebub, he's prideful to the point of narcissism, he's lazier than an actual sloth, has a temper that actually rivals her own but his gets set off by the stupidest of things, he regularly copies things he likes from the other Sins instead of creating something unique for himself - envy - and she doesn't even want to know what he does about Lust.
Husk asks "What do they do if you're down there?"
Calli shrugs, saying "Depends on the demon. Run and hide if they're weaker, or try to fight me if they're stronger or stupid. I get along with some of the other Sins well enough, though - Asmodeous and Beelzebub, mainly. Satan blows up at everything, Belphegor can barely manage to do anything, and Leviathan is jealous of everything everyone else has. Alright, my turn. Alastor, truth or dare?"
Alastor hums, before saying "Truth."
Calli smirks, asking "Did Vox really ask you to join him?" She really can't see it - Vox hates Alastor! Aside from the detail that Alastor's much more into radio and can barely stand to watch the old-fashioned television in the common area...well, they'd have had to come up with something much more difficult than 'the Vees' had Alastor joined them, and she really can't see them actually putting in that much effort on a regular basis.
Alastor nods, saying "He did, this was before he and Valentino had found Velvette. I declined, after Valentino introduced himself by licking me from wrist to elbow and suggesting I become his next star. Vox didn't take it well, and has hated me ever since."
Calli bursts out laughing, and says "What a moron, really!"
Angel facepalms, saying "Yeah, that sounds about right…" Calli told him the neutralizer for Val's pheromones is almost finished - she's trying to fine-tune it so he's not throwing up everything that's absorbed the shit, just purge any that's left in his body and make him immune to their effects. Her guess is…about another week or so, to be safe.
The Ward schemes she tattooed on his chest and back were painless thanks to the numbing Potion she applied beforehand - though, that was cold as frostbite - and he barely felt a thing aside from her straddling him for a good spot to work from. The detail that she just kept him talking the whole way through kept him from dissociating mid-way - because she needed him to turn over, after all - and he's fairly certain the only reason he's still alive after Alastor walked in while Calli was shaving the fur off his chest is because of the tattoo gun and Ward scheme spread out next to him...and the detail that Calli has all the sexual desires of a rock most of the time, apparently.
Described herself as 'lust-less' to him while she was tattooing his back - as opposed to 'love-less' since she loves Charlie, Lucifer, Lilith, her friends and family from her old world, etc.
She also said Lucifer would hold her back, keep her from going off on the other angels in Heaven whenever they disregarded one of his ideas, just like he tried to do in the studio with Valentino.
Alastor is about to take his turn for Truth or Dare when Calli's phone suddenly buzzes, and she says "Go on without me, I'll be one minute."
Alastor watches as she gets off the couch and walks a few feet away, and says "Very well then. Vaggie, Truth or-"
"Asmodeus?" That promptly derails the game right then and there, everyone bar Alastor openly gaping at Calliope's back as she asks "What's going on that's so bad that you're calling me?"
"Calliope! Good to hear from you. Straight to the point, just like I remembered. I'll cut to the chase - I'm sure you remember Mammon, right?"
Calliope flatly says "I couldn't possibly forget that over-inflated egotistical spider, 'Modeus. What's the arrogant idiot up to now?"
"So, I met this guy that worked for him, named Fizz, and we REALLY hit it off - like, out of the ballpark altogether. You following, Calliope?"
Calli snorts before she can stop herself, asking "You're telling me that mister 'Love and sentimentality is for weaklings and losers' has fallen for someone at long last?" Another laugh escapes her, even as Hedwig lets out a hoot from her spot on Calli's shoulder.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, the both of you. Anyway, Fizz recently quit and now Mammon's throwing up a big stink about it all. Between that and the detail that he's got an endless amount of creeps after him, Fizz can hardly go outside anymore. Blitz is on constant bodyguard duty, and- oh, C'MON! That's the fifth time this hour! Calli, I know it's short notice, but can you come down here and smash some sense into Mammon's skull?"
Calli sighs, and says "I guess it is getting to be around that time again anyways. Mammon always causes some shit after a few centuries. Yeah, sure, I'll be down there in an hour. Your place, or a private meeting spot? Why would Mammon be making such a big scene over one guy quitting, though?"
"Fizz…may have been his brand image for the past decade."
Calli stops dead in her tracks, then incredulously asks "You're telling me Mammon's brand image - his poster boy - just up and quit?!" That'll do it, then.
"Oh, yeah, on stage. Live, in front of a massive audience. It was great."
Calli laughs once more, then says "I've got to meet the guy that's got the guts to look Mammon in the face and tell him to eat it. Be there in an hour."
Angel incredulously asks "You're heading down to another Ring?!"
Calli nods, saying "Yep. Mammon's being an idiot instead of just hiring a new person to fill this Fizz's role - welcome to my world when I'm not busy helping D!"
Vaggie asks "This stuff happens a lot? Fate being a sadist?"
Calli shrugs, saying "Truth be told, Fate's not much of a sadist. A little bit, yeah, but hardly evil. She just...is. D says she used to be different but…well, life isn't always sunshine and roses. In fact, most of the time it isn't. Fate's learned to get her enjoyment where she can." Almost as an afterthought, she adds "'Sides, Fate can only influence mortal souls. Hellborn demons, Archangels, Seraphim, etc? Not under her scope of things. Anything and everything they do is all on them."
Vaggie hesitantly asks "So…Charlie is…?"
"Out of her reach. Same with Lucifer, the Sins, Seraphin, and every hellborn demon in existence."
Vaggie sighs in relief, but Charlie asks "Aunt Calli, your leaving?" Again? Her aunt is leaving again?!
Calli shakes her head, saying "Not long this time, a few days - a week at most. I'll be back after I beat Mammon's face in once more. He'll get over himself and find something new to do for the next few centuries, and I'll be back with a new story to tell next time we're sharing. You guys want to see my travel bike?"
Charlie gets a confused look on her face, and asks "Bike…does it have a sidecar?"
Calli looks utterly shocked for a moment, then says "You remember…that one was my father and Godfather's bike. Haven't ridden that one in ages, honestly. I'd need to tune up the Enchantments and replace anything that's gotten old or rusty. No, this one is a bit different - I use it to travel between Rings easier."
Everybody eagerly heads outside after Calli, seeing her casual clothes getting replaced by a leather biking jacket and boots up to her knees, and the shadow she stands in front of seems to coalesce like Alastor can do when he summons some minions or puppets before leaving an all-black bike like none of them have ever seen before. Husk whistles in appreciation, saying "Now that is a set of wheels." He was never a motorcycle kind of guy back when he was alive, but he is more than capable of appreciating a bike like that.
Angel starts quite literally fawning over it, practically begging Calli for a ride on it.
Vaggie is more subdued, holding Charlie back as the Princess of Hell practically squeals and bounces in place. "OhmigoshitlookssoAWESOME,AuntCalli!"
Calli grins, saying "Once I'm back, I'll take everyone for a flight - yes, it flies, Charlie. Sooner I leave, sooner I can track down Mammon and head back. Keep her out of trouble for me?"
Alastor nods, putting a hand on Charlie's shoulder, saying "But of course, Lys Calla. She won't have so much as a scratch on her when you return."
"Thanks. Hed hates the other Rings, so she'll stay here - she can hunt for herself no problem, and she's good about keeping her talons in when on someone's shoulder. She'll just want bacon in the morning." And then Calli's off, driving down the hill the hotel is on before lifting into the air and disappearing in a portal that shows a scene that looks a lot like what Husk remembers Vegas looking like.
Blitz's giving Asmodeus a skeptical look, even as Fizz is sitting in a chair near no windows or the door, and asks "You're sure this woman is going to be able to help, Asmodeus? You're sure she's even the same person you're thinking of?" Stolas gave him a cryptic warning about a magical woman they should avoid at all costs, a red-head with green eyes and a lightning-bolt scar on her forehead when they first started going into the human world, but didn't say anything else as to why he seemed so cagey about her. He got curious enough to do a bit of digging, and found various records of what might be the same person. Could this be the same woman?
Asmodeus nods, saying "Yeah, real sure. We've met multiple times over the millennia. Lucifer's unofficial sister, though I'm not sure who would be the 'younger sibling' in that relationship. The one time Mammon was stupid enough to badmouth her in front of Lucifer, he completely tripped out on the idiot and showed everyone why he's the King of Hell." That was during a meeting of the Seven Sins, the one where he and Lilith announced Princess Charlotte's birth, and he's never seen anyone go full-rage mode so quickly as when Mammon called Calliope Liliana Peverell nothing more than Lucifer's rabid attack-bitch. Not even Satan himself, the literal Sin of Wrath.
Lucifer claimed her as his sister in every way bar blood, and then told Mammon he'd rip the Sin's tongue out and force-feed it to him if he ever talked about Calliope that way again...after six massive wings, two horns, and a tail ripped straight out of his body so fast they tore his clothes and he literally caught fire.
Blitz hums, then says "Alright, then...what's she look like? So I don't shoot her."
Asmodeus rubs the back of his flaming head, saying "Well...human, actually. When she's not going off on someone, anyway - then she looks absolutely terrifying, I've seen it firsthand. Short, about Lucifer's height. Red hair, green eyes, might have an owl on her shoulder. Whatever you do, don't hurt the owl, don't even joke about it - I saw her beat Satan's ass to a pulp once for making an offhand comment about plucking and roasting it."
And then Asmodeus' phone dings suddenly, and Fizz picks it up and reads "'I'm coming up.' Well, guess we're gonna find out soon! She likes jokes…right?"
Asmodeus nods, saying "When she hasn't been set off, she's got a good sense of humor. I warn you now, though, piss her off and she'll be anywhere from petty to utterly, viciously ruthless depending on how bad it is. And I've never known her to forgive when she's been truly angered - on a related note, don't ask about Heaven. Ever."
Blitz asks "Heaven pissed her off somehow?"
"I've never been brave enough or stupid enough to ask just what they did, but I'm willing to bet it was something to do with Lucifer and Lilith."
There's suddenly a knock at the door, and a slightly musical voice rings out saying "'Modeus, it's me! Am I good to come in?"
Asmodeus quickly hurries to the door, saying "Yeah, c'mon in, Calliope! I've got Blitz and Fizz here to!"
Green mist seeps in under the door before Asmodeus can get halfway there, and coalesces into Calliope - wearing a black leather biking jacket with a red t-shirt underneath, black leggings, and black leather combat boots. Dusting herself off, she smirks up at Asmodeus and says "You know you can call me Calli, 'Modeus. We get along well enough, after all."
Asmodeus says "Considering you can overpower any of the Sins with laughable ease when you're really fired up, I'm good with us just being on a first-name basis."
Calli shrugs, saying "Your choice, but you did say I could call you 'Modeus' after the last time I did you a favor. Call me Calli, really."
Blitz raises an eyebrow, disbelief painted all over his face, and asks "She's the woman I've heard stories about? Four giant black wings, deadly emerald light, red and black armor and a sword?"
Calli chuckles, and says "Relax, I don't wear the armor most of the time - only when I know I'm gonna be fighting some real idiots. Probably going to break it out for Mammon, though. Speaking of whom...where is that over-inflated idiot this time?"
Blitz says "Pretty sure he's in Greed Ring somewhere. I'm Blitz, this is Fizz."
Calli grins at the two Imps, saying "Good to meet you two. So, Fizz, how exactly did you quit? I heard it was something truly special."
Angel checks his phone when it buzzes, about five minutes after Calli sent everyone a text saying she'd made it alright, and sees 'I think I found your double down here in Lust Ring. You two would get along fantastic.'
And then, maybe a minute later, another text says 'Check out his last song for his old boss. I think you'll love it.' And then a video link for VoxTube comes through, with the title 'Two Minutes Notice' displayed.
Charlie, Vaggie, and Sir Pentious promptly come running in when Angel bursts into hysterical laughter exactly sixty-one seconds later. Charlie asks "Angel? What is it? What's wrong?"
Angel shakes his head, still laughing hysterically, and gestures towards the video that's still playing.
Did you really think I was gonna stay? Spending life bent over with your fist in my "a"!
Vaggie immediately says "Alright, Angel, that's more than I needed to hear…" Angel shakes his head, wiping at his face and saying "You gotta watch it from the beginning. I've just found my new favorite song ever, though."
Three days, two Fizzarolli Robot production factories, and several Crime mafias connected to Mammon later, and Calli and Blitz are on top of a building overlooking a warehouse Mammon and several of his goons are meeting in. Blitz says "You work fast, Calliope."
Calli shrugs, saying "I've had practice. And I don't usually have a partner."
Blitz shrugs as well, saying "Mammon made it personal. He kept Fizz and I apart after an accident, and…well, we've been reconnecting, but still. I had to come."
Calli shrugs, saying "I get it." Checking his phone for any new messages from Stolas, Blitz tries to think up a strategy for taking down a Sin - Stolas absolutely freaked out upon learning he was going with Calliope, sending a barrage of texts and eventually calling Calliope. Turns out, Calliope has met pretty much all of Hell's top hierarchy at some point - if not the ones currently in power, then their predecessors, and they all remember Calliope Liliana Peverell. Or know of her, at least - and are terrified of her.
Glancing at the woman who's got four massive black wings magically folded over black and red armor to resemble a black coat with a reddish sheen somehow - he doesn't know how, doesn't want to know how in all honesty - he can tell why. Her eyes glow neon green in the dark, things just happen around her…and she is absolutely ruthless when on a mission.
He'd well and truly hate to see her on a full-out warpath - could be why Stolas cautioned him with exactly what Asmodeus was saying, don't piss her off, do whatever she says, under no circumstances ask about heaven.
Valentino sighs to himself when Angel Dust walks into the studio, and mutters "It's about fuck- wait, oh hells no." When Angel gets up to the right floor, he's got a huge grin on his face, earbuds connected to the phone in his pocket as he hums to a song…and that demon bird on his shoulder.
Val can feel his heartrate pick up just at the sight of that thing, and says "Angie, amorcito, why is that owl on your shoulder?"
Angel doesn't hear him, making a beeline for his dressing room until one of the other workers stops him and points him towards Valentino. Angel just smiles, waving at Val as the demon bird locks a glowing yellow gaze onto him. Val swallows, motioning for Angel to come over.
Angel takes one earbud out - and now Val can hear a song playing, going 'Fuckity, fuckity, fuckity, fuckity you!' - and asks "Need something before the shoot?"
Swallowing several times, Val says "Angel, baby, why is that owl here? Is she coming up?"
Angel frowns, thinking for a moment, then shakes his head saying "No, Calli's a bit busy down in Greed Ring. Something about beating up Mammon again for Asmodeus? Hedwig and Fat Nuggets are apparently best friends now, despite Hed's love of bacon, though, and I guess she's taken a liking to me. Landed on my shoulder halfway to the studio, and I didn't want to be late so here we are."
Vox shows up from a camera right then, keeping a careful distance from Hedwig, and Valentino asks "Angel, did you maybe…I don't know, get into something before heading over?" Either Angel Dust is high as a kite right now, or he's telling the truth because he's not nearly nervous enough to be lying.
Or both, it might be both.
The prospect of Calliope Peverell being outside of Pride Ring is fantastic…the prospect of her beating of one of the Seven Sins is fucking terrifying. He doesn't know if he wants this to be true or not.
And then, suddenly, Angel's phone rings, and he taps it a few times before holding the device up and saying "Hey, Calli! Yeah, uh-huh…alright, if you say so." Holding the phone out, he says "It's for you, she's video-calling."
Valentino gulps, seeing Calliope Peverell in a suit of black and red armor, and Vox quickly says "Miss Peverell, we weren't expecting to hear from you…"
Calli flatly says "I'm gonna cut to the chase. Hurt Hedwig, and I'll end you. Painfully. And, as she's my Familiar, I'll know instantly. SHUT IT, MAMMON, I'M ON A CALL!" Vox and Val both gape as Calli raises her free hand, and slams it down - and Mammon's head follows suit in the background. "Anyway, like I was saying. Hed's been keeping me updated on what's been going on up in Pride Ring. We share a magical link, so we each know if something's happened to the other. Which means I will know the instant Hedwig gets so much as a feather out of place."
Vox asks "Why is she here, exactly? I can't imagine a building is where she'd rather be…"
"Anthony reminds her of me when I was younger. She'd decided she'll be keeping an eye on you, since he'll likely downplay anything that happens to him over there as part of the job. Gotta go, give Angel his phone back."
And then the screen goes black, Val wordlessly handing the phone back to Angel Dust. "So," Angel says nonchalantly, "should I…?"
He points towards the dressing room, and Valentino quickly nods before muttering "She's beating up a Sin…"
Vox nods, then says "I know. Don't look at the- I said don't look!"
"Why can owls turn their heads that far? Why do they eat moths? Why does she have an owl as a familiar?!" Why was that owl staring directly at him until Angel shut the door?!
When Angel gets out of the room, Hedwig takes off from his shoulder...and lands on Val's shoulder, digging her talons into the flesh hard enough that the moth demon yelps.
Angel walks over, asking "Hed, you sure?"
Hedwig nods, letting out a hoot and adjusting her grip on Valentino's shoulder.
"Angel," Valentino squeaks out, "why is the owl sitting on my shoulder?!"
Angel just shrugs, saying "My guess? She wanted to stay out of the way of the cameras. I'll get you her bag of bacon."
Vox asks "Her…bag of bacon." He knew hell was weird - he's got a television for a head, and one of his partners is a moth while said partner's top employee is a spider. Still, this is a whole new level of weird he was not prepared to handle when he woke up this morning.
Angel just shrugs, saying "She likes bacon. Had a bag stuffed with it in one of her talons when she found me."
Val would say Angel's definitely high on something, but it might offend the magic owl that might be able to eat him.
About five minutes into Angel's scene, Val feels the star's phone buzz - having been holding onto it on the off-chance Calliope decided to call again so he could beg her to get her bird off him - and checks it only to see a video of Calliope with a beat-up looking Mammon in the background.
Swallowing to himself, he plays the video…and promptly faints.
All the workers promptly break character or stop their tasks upon hearing a loud crash, and look over to see Vox kneeling over an unconscious Valentino as Hedwig lands on the back of the chair. "Val! Val, what the actual fuck?!" Slapping Val's face doesn't do anything, so Vox picks up the phone to see what might've caused the Overlord to just drop into a dead faint like he just did.
Everyone sees Vox's expression on the screen go slack for a solid sixty seconds, and then he glances between the phone, Valentino, and the set and eventually calls out "Angel Dust, you're going home. Now."
Angel blinks, then asks "What is on my phone that's this big a problem?" Whatever it is...it's hilarious. He needs more of it.
Vox hands Angel his phone, hand shaking as he does, and Angel rewinds the video. It starts with Calli in front of a half-conscious Mammon, who's looking bloody, beaten, and half-dead.
"Hey, 'Modeus, we're done. You and Fizz shouldn't have anymore problems from the overgrown spider for the next few centuries. Right, Mammon?" Mammon groans, trying and failing to turn on his side before mumbling something incoherently. An imp with a white splotch on his face says "Holy shit, that was the scariest thing I've ever seen. You ripped two of his limbs off without even touching him! And chopped off a third with that sword of yours!" Calli shrugs, saying "Just sending Asmodeus confirmation we're done. I'll drop you off and head back. Where to?" "Um, actually, I can make my way back. Stolas has been freaking out about…well, honestly, about you." Calli shrugs, saying "I suppose I should pay my respects to the Goetias, been a century and a half since I've been down here even if D did keep me filled in on most of the important details, I don't doubt I've fallen into at least cautionary tales down here, to. C'mon, I still remember where the palace is. Oh, and 'Modeus, consider the Camouflage charms a professional courtesy. Good to see you, have to go, best of luck to the two of you. Bye!"
The video ends, and Angel promptly decides meeting Calliope Peverell is the best thing to ever happen to him. If he weren't sure Alastor's got a thing for her, he'd take her out for a drink - as it is, he's fairly certain that course of action would get him torn apart by the Radio Demon.