Everyone's throwing a massive party the night before Extermination Day, having one last good night before the big fight - they're as prepared as they can possibly be, between the training, Calli painstakingly Warding the entire hillside, and the not-very-small army of metal-tipped rubber ducks positioned on pretty much every available surface on the outside of the Hotel.
There's Calli's Hell-made 'Angelic' steel tipped on every single duck's wings and beak, Charmed with a Color-Changing spell to blend in with the ducks' coloring unless you're looking very closely, and there's been more than one accident with the things because someone wasn't careful when handling them. Last time, it sliced one guy's hand wide open, Calli had to quickly heal it before he bled out altogether.
Cherri Bomb and Pentious have been coming up with stronger explosives for the battle - and Cherri finally put the poor guy out of his misery and kissed him, much to everyone's relief - Angel's guns now have a series of Runes automatically refilling his ammo from a giant Expanded cauldron filled to the brim with bullets Calli made…it's been a whirlwind of a month, that's for sure.
Calli's the only one who isn't actually taking part in the party, as she's currently out cold on the couch - she was celebrating, right up until Lucifer had her sit down next to him…and then she was asleep within five minutes, and is now curled up underneath two of his wings.
Extreme exhaustion does wonders for insomnia, apparently.
Alastor and Niffty are up on the top of the staircase, overlooking the party, and Alastor says "Ah, the celebratory night before a courageous last stand! It's been a surprising thrill, to witness these wayward souls find connection. Almost makes one sentimental, eh, Niffty?"
Niffty grins, saying "I really like them, Alastor! They let me put on roach puppet shows without booing!"
"An enjoyable collective to be around. One could get accustomed-"
"And, Calli makes you happy. With the connection you two found."
Alastor glances at Niffty, who stares at him innocently, and silently nods his head after a moment. And then Niffty lands a crown on his head, made out of twigs and…are those roaches?! Where and when did she even...? "I dub thee King Roach!"
Chuckling to himself, Alastor says "Oh, to understand your twisted little mind!"
Emily's trying to get Sera to call off the Extermination, Raphael right alongside her while Gabriel and Michael standing against the far wall, when suddenly…Sera screams, Holy Energy suddenly erupting from her, and then collapses in a heap on the floor.
Emily and Raphael stare at her in shock, trade horrified glances, and then spring into action to make sure she's still alive - she is, much to Emily's relief. Raphael asks "Why would she suddenly…oh."
Emily unrolls the blackened contract that just appeared on Sera's body, and sees the words 'BROKEN' written in blood-red lettering across the parchment. "Oh no…it's started. Extermination Day is happening after all…" Tears run down Emily's face - after all her begging, pleading, all the arguments she had with Sera…she went and let Adam go down there and kill Souls that don't deserve it nonetheless.
Raphael gasps, and says "Lucifer, he's-"
Gabriel says "Sera's Scrying Orb, we can use that to watch! If things start going badly…"
Michael asks "What? We fly down to wherever Adam opened his portal? Can we even open a portal to Hell?"
Gabriel blinks, then says "I…don't know. Calliope may well have barred us from entering for all I know…" He wouldn't put it past her, both her ability to hold a grudge forever and her capabilities.
Raphael yells "Well, we have to try! We can't just sit back and do nothing!"
Michael sharply says "Going down there now will likely have everyone thinking we're there to help Adam and his Exorcists! And I'm positive Calliope would take the chance to just end us all and call it one big misunderstanding - just add it to the pile between us." Lucifer would probably believe her if she said she genuinely thought they were coming down to help slaughter everyone - hells, she might actually believe it if they go down there.
So...they're stuck watching the battle from up in Heaven like a bunch of cowards.
Everyone's ready for the portal to Heaven to open, all but Lucifer out on the Hillside armed to the teeth - and Lucifer himself standing just inside the hotel doorway, technically not on the actual battlefield due to the contract but waiting with bated breath to jump into battle - and the anticipation is killing everyone.
Suddenly, a giant portal rips open in the sky, pointed directly at the Hotel, and Vaggie yells "This is it! Fight for your souls!"
Charlie loudly adds "FUCK THEM UP!"
Adam and Lute get out of the portal first, followed by several hundred Exorcists, only for Adam to stop short and ask "Uh…is something coming at us?" It looks like…a yellow wave of some kind.
What they all take to be an illusion of some kind turns out to be very real, slicing into their bodies and causing general chaos and confusion. Lute manages to grab one of the yellow objects, only to get a highly confused look on her face when she says "It's…a rubber duck?"
Said rubber duck's eyes suddenly glow green, and it bites her hand.
"Shit! That hurt! What the hell?!" Since when do rubber ducks have teeth?!
Glancing at Adam, Lute does a double-take when she sees the portal the Exorcists came through suddenly vanishes in a bright green light. How in the world...?
Alastor's standing on the roof of the Hotel, and generates a massive shield to separate roughly half of the Exorcist forces; he, Lucifer, and Calli worked out a plan, he shields the Hotel and keeps them all divided, aided by a magical reservoir she made that's already plenty charged enough to fuel the shield - just in case his powers get shrunken even further than they already are, he wouldn't put it past the insane psycho - and the two of them will deal with the ones outside the shield alongside the massive tentacles he's sprouted from the outside of it while everyone else handles the ones inside.
There's several fireworks, explosions, and gunshots, and he can smell the sweet - and slightly acidic - scent of Angel blood in the air…right up until the shield takes a blow that nearly breaks it altogether.
And then Adam's nasally voice floats down, swearing as he charges up another hit and yells for someone to 'keep them the fuck away from me!'
Shit… Drawing more power from both his own magic and the heavily-Enchanted crystal pendant Calli made, Alastor manages to keep the shield up for another two blows before he sees a giant yellow spot form on it…and then completely shatter the thing.
Well, looks like he's about to face down the First Man himself.
Calli glances at Lucifer, the two of them surrounded by about a hundred Exorcists and holding their own with laughable ease, and Lucifer grimaces as he kills five Exorcists before saying "Go! I'll handle these idiots! Go save your not-boyfriend, Calli!"
Calli blushes bright red as she waves her sword in a sharp arc, slicing ten Exorcists into ribbons with the spell it released, and yells over "He's not- He doesn't-"
"Calli, I've seen the way he looks at you!" Lucifer grabs Calli's hand and swings her around mid-air, as she unleashes a beam of green magic from her other hand, killing twenty Exorcists at once, and adds "And I've seen how you look at him! I may not like the guy," Lucifer turns into a horse and donkey-kicks an Exorcist into another's spear, "but if he makes you happy then I'll play nice with him! Actually…he's doing pretty well for it being Adam he's facing." Glancing down at the fight on the rooftop, Lucifer grimaces to himself when he sees Alastor's actually holding his own against Adam - if nothing else, he won't ever worry about anything happening to Calli by anyone else's hand, then.
If Alastor can go toe-to-toe against Adam for even over a minute…he's stronger than Lucifer was expecting. Or better at fighting, perhaps - Adam's an idiot, but someone up in Heaven decided he'd be a powerful idiot. Likely Sera, if he's being honest.
Hedwig zooms past in her battle armor, talons tearing out throat after throat of every Exorcist unlucky enough to be targeted by the magical Owl.
And then he sees Alastor go flying backwards, and yells "Calli, now or never with him!"
Alastor watches as Adam lands on the Hotel sign, and says "Adam! First man, next to die!"
Adam raises an eyebrow, asking "Who the fuck are you?"
"Alastor! A pleasure to be eating you, quite a pleasure!"
Adam is about to ask if he didn't mean 'meeting' when Alastor smiles wide enough to show his pointed teeth, and says "I'm about to end your fucking life."
Alright, maybe he DID mean eating… "Nice voice," Adam says, mainly to hide his unease at the demon's presence, "don't you know jazz is for-" He cuts off, quickly flying out of the way of two inky-black tentacles that lunge straight for him - and cutting through them with his guitar-axe is more of a challenge than Adam anticipated, seems this demon has some actual power in him.
Adam swings the weapon down into the roof, but the red-themed demon is already about two feet away with more of those tentacles already coming for him. Slicing through the things, Adam asks "You really think you can take me on? A mortal soul is no match for me, Edge-lord!"
Alastor sees his shadow sneaking a crack of magic towards Adam, unnoticed by the Angel, and says "You should know better than anyone what a soul can accomplish when they take charge of their own fate!" The sucker-punch to Adam's face, bursting up from the ground in a surprise attack, is immensely satisfying - especially considering he now has an idea of the true depths of Adam's idiocy, since he's a mortal soul.
Adam rubs at his jaw, asking "You think you're tough shit, don't you?"
Grinning, Alastor says "Tougher than you? Definitely." Nimbly avoiding Adam's uncoordinated attacks, he adds "You lack discipline, focus, and worst of all? You're sloppy."
Summoning a small army of little doll-like creatures, Alastor takes the opportunity to see how his magic getting enhanced affected them - they look deadlier, for sure, their claws sharper and the colors more defined. They also look decidedly more unsettling, even for him, with inky-black tar-like magic dripping from their teeth and claws.
Adam panics when the small puppets start swarming him, clawing and biting at anything they can get to, and it takes him a solid minute to get them all off him…right before a massive tentacle wraps around him and smashes him into about five different surfaces.
Shaking his head, Adam's more than a little surprised to find he's bleeding - this deer-eared freak somehow managed to injure him?! Snarling to himself, Adam yells "I'm gonna wipe that freaky shit-eating grin right off your face - because radio is dead!" He unleashes a wave of Angelic power strong enough to split a mountain in two - he knows, he did as much once - and blinks in amazement when the coat-wearing Demon manages to block it with his staff. The staff breaks, yes…but he should be vaporized!
Growling to himself, Adam charges up another beam of magic and lands it squarely in Alastor's chest - it still doesn't work, as the demon just goes flying and hits the far wall instead of getting wiped from the face of Hell. What the actual fuck?
Alastor props himself up, and gives Adam a savage grin when he feels Calliope's magic suddenly spike, saying "Hate to disagree with you there. Radio's not dead…but you're about to be."
Adam frowns, opening his mouth to ask just what he means…but never gets the chance, as a beam of green light hits him with all the force of a wrecking ball and sends him flying, putting him through the sign for the Hotel and vanishing into the fight altogether.
Alastor throws his head back in a laugh, chest aching at the action, but he doesn't care. That was, without question, the best thing he's seen all day, probably all week.
Calliope offers him a hand up, asking "You alright?"
Alastor nods, taking her hand - but, instead of pulling himself up, he sharply yanks her down and lands his mouth on hers. Calliope makes a surprised noise in the back of her throat, free hand hitting the ground to steady herself, and one of her wings curls around Alastor's shoulders on instinct. There's the sound of fireworks, but whether that's just in Alastor's head, due to Calli's magic, or some of Charlie's is anyone's guess - Gods, though, she tastes even better than he'd imagined.
Calli eventually pulls back when she runs out of air, just as the city goes dark from what's likely another Vox-induced Blackout, eyes wide as saucers as they just stare at one another for a moment. And then there's an explosion, and she says "Right…battle…"
Alastor scowls, and mutters something about ripping every single Exorcist apart with his tentacles right before Calli takes off and he Shadows down to the battlefield. Husk raises an eyebrow at Alastor's appearance as he makes several giant tentacles to cause mayhem on the ground, asking "The fuck happened up there?"
"Well," Alastor says, ripping apart five Exorcists and impaling two others, "I kept Adam busy until Calliope or Lucifer could start giving him the beatdown of his existence. Take a guess, Husker!"
"So, why do you look like the cat that got all the cream, ate every single canary, killed all the mice, and ate their cheese? And where's your cane?!"
Adam scowls when he sees it's Lucifer floating in front of him, and tries to fight - having lost his guitar in that damned attack that came out of nowhere - but quickly finds he's completely outclassed. Because Lucifer just catches his fist in one hand, and kicks him to the ground hard enough to make a crater.
Looks like the King of Hell isn't just sitting around this time, dammit.
When he manages to pull himself up from the ground, he sees…the battle's all but lost. There are dead Exorcists everywhere, not a single Demon corpse to be seen, and there's now a small group headed by none other than Lucifer and his brat that's gathered around him. "No," he groans, "you don't get to end this. I'm fucking Adam! I'm the fucking man, I started everything on Earth! All of Humanity came from these fucking-"
Calliope's fist slams straight into Adam's jaw, and she flatly says "I didn't. And, let me tell you, that's not much to brag about considering Eve couldn't say no in the first place." Ducking under his furious punch, Calli twists and…sinks her sword up to the hilt in Adam's chest. And then, much to everyone's shock, she grabs Adam by the throat and lights up brilliant emerald green, looking like the result of Christmas and Fourth of July getting mixed together. The smell of burning flesh quickly wafts over to everyone, and in under a minute Adam's nothing but a charred corpse.
Lute stares in horror, having fallen to the ground nearby after a fight between her, Vaggie, and Charlie where the couple ended up ripping her arm off, and yells "NO! ADAM!" Grabbing the nearest weapon, which happens to be another spear, Lute charges Calli…and rams the spear straight through her heart.
The next thing anyone knows, a red and blonde bur is beating the golden snot out of Lute after a white blur flies from her face to Calliope - and now everyone is staring at Lucifer in shock as he goes off on Lute, not having known the usually-charming man could unleash something like that.
It's Calli's hand on his shoulder that keeps Lucifer from outright killing Lute and then all the other Exorcists in the area, as she quietly says "I'm fine, Lucifer. Really, barely even felt it." That's solely because of the Wards she's got going, siphoning off any pain she'd feel to fuel them - one of her better ideas, she has to admit - but still.
Lucifer glances over, solid red eyes giving her a disbelieving look, and she adds "Let the bitch go back to Heaven, and bring a little message for Sera when she gets back." Lute stares at Calli in shock with her one good eye, Hedwig having aimed right for her face as soon as she charged the red-head - on the same side as her intact arm, unfortunately for her - and then rasps out "How…"
Calliope snaps her fingers and a new portal opens, and Lucifer snarls "YOU AND ALL YOUR LITTLE BLOODTHIRSTY, MURDER-HAPPY GANG HAVE GOT EXACTLY SIXTY SECONDS TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY KINGDOM! AFTER THAT, I'M KILLING EVERY LAST MASK-WEARING WOULD-BE INVADER HERE!"
Lute chokes out "All Exorcists, retreat! Fall back at once." When she gets through the portal, though, she sees…Calliope opened it up right in the promenade. And there's a massive crowd of onlookers, Heavenborn and Winners alike, no less.
Sera, Emily, Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael among them, right up front.
Calliope steps up to just in front of the portal, gaze cold as ice and smirk sharp as her golden-covered sword - made no less imposing by the spear through her heart - and says "Your move, Sera. Make it smart." She then rips the spear out of her chest, her own red blood with a golden shimmer to it vanishing as she does, and embeds it in Heaven's ground before tossing Adam's charred helmet onto the handle for good measure. Turning to Lucifer, who's now out of sight of the portal - though, Michael, Raphael, and Gabriel all caught sight of his fully-powered demon form, right alongside Charlie's, what happened to their little brother to give him horns and a tail?! - she nonchalantly asks "Luci, once we get everything cleaned up and sorted out, you want to just take a week and take everyone to the beach or something? I hear the Virgen Islands are beautiful this time of year."
Lucifer's voice goes back to normal as he says "Sounds great, 'cept I haven't been out of Hell in the last ten Millennia, so…" Rather, he can't leave Hell. She knows that just as well as he does...what is his favorite sister planning?
"Meh, I can take care of that, Luci! Hold still!" The portal shifts to show Calli using her own blood to draw on Lucifer's forehead, she hisses a few things, and then bright golden bindings appear around Lucifer…which Calliope promptly severs with a brilliant emerald-green knife.
Lucifer blinks as the portal closes, and asks "Was that for real, or were you just screwing with Sera?"
Calli grins, saying "Oh, no, that was real. I was working on it in my very limited off-time the past fifty years or so. Kinda slipped my mind with all the insanity that's been happening since we reunited, sorry."
Lucifer chuckles, saying "I'm sure. Who's up for pancakes?"
Everyone turns to head into the Hotel…only to find it's been destroyed in the combat despite everything.
"Oh, boy," Calli says, "this is gonna be bad…"
Everyone looks at her in surprise, and Angel asks "Can't you just…fix it?"
"Yeah…that's the problem. You remember what happened when I fixed the chandelier?"
Lucifer's eyes widen, and he says "Like with the cottage? You've had ideas, haven't you?"
"Yep…and, the last time I tried to fix something while I had ideas about how to improve it…was the Hogwarts Wards." Grimacing to herself, Calli says "Alright, everybody start looking for things you don't want completely changed! Along with Keekee, Fat Nuggets, and any other pets in the hotel! Charlie, you know how to change Razzle and Dazzle back, right?"
Charlie nods, reverting to her usual form, and everyone starts spreading out, looking for things that somehow survived the destruction - the hotel may not be completely razed to the ground, true, but it's still completely uninhabitable nonetheless.
Angel finds Fat Nuggets almost immediately, spinning around in sheer joy at seeing his beloved pet without so much as a scratch on him, Charlie doing the same with KeeKee, and within twenty minutes everyone's gathered up their things that survived the battle.
Calli slaps one hand over her eyes, and slams her staff into the ground with the other, yelling "Reparo Ultima Maxima!" A wave of green erupts from where her staff meets the ground, and then the Hotel…starts putting itself back together. More than that, though, it starts…growing.
Adding at least three stories, two entire wings…now they understand, just a little bit, what Calli was talking about. Because her magic not only fixes every single crack and hole in the Hotel, they'd drawn up a schematic of how they'd rebuild the Hotel if worst came to worst…and this is it. Every single detail…plus quite a few more.
Angel breathes out "Holy shit…"
Husk adds "No kidding…"
Cherri Bomb whistles in appreciation, and says "That is awesome, bitch!"
Calli groans, asking "It's bad, isn't it? Completely over-the-top? Showboating like crazy? Gaudy beyond belief?"
Everyone glances at the giant apple made out of neon lights, silently concedes she likely deals with this every single time she tries to make or fix something, and Angel says "Naw, it looks great, Calli, really!"
Lucifer claps his hands together, and cheerfully says "Let's go pick out new rooms! I'm making all-you-can-eat pancakes in the kitchen afterwards!" Once he…finds the kitchen, anyway. Before Calli claims it as her unquestioned domain once more, anyway.
Sera groans, rubbing at her positively throbbing head, and says "Let me get this straight. Adam is dead. You now have maybe a fourth of the Exorcists you left with. You're missing an eye and an arm. Lucifer is free from his contract to do whatever he wants - and he can apparently leave Hell whenever he wishes now thanks to Calliope. And every single casualty in that battle was on us. Am I missing anything?!" There's also the repercussions for breaking her contract with Lucifer, which she's sure haven't fully come down on her yet.
Lute rubs at her throbbing shoulder, and adds "They…they used something to injure everyone before we even got close, to. I don't know how, other than it must've been that Peverell bitch's doing."
Gabriel gives Lute a deadpan stare, and flatly asks "What'd they use? Rubber ducks?" He about burst out laughing when he saw it was rubber ducks they'd used
"Yes! And that damned bird of Peverell's took my eye!"
Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael all trade looks, trying not to look utterly amused, and Raphael slowly says "You were attacked…by rubber ducks."
"You didn't see them! Their eyes glowed green, and somehow they could injure us just by flying by!"
"Right…"
Michael snorts, saying "I almost wish I'd been there." Attack-ducks, of all things - that has Lucifer and Calliope written all over it. Lucifer always loved his ducks, and Calliope would absolutely be able to make them move on their own.
The three Archangels walk out of the meeting, make it about two halls down…and then Raphael cracks, saying "Attack-ducks!" It's just as funny now as it was when they first saw the things, honestly. Even more so, really, seeing Lute be so obviously afraid of them.
Gabriel snorts, unable to contain is amusement any longer.
Michael manages to get the three of them to their quarters before breaking as well.
Gabriel glances at the Scrying Orb he may or may not have borrowed from Sera's office when everyone went to see where the portal had opened, and asks "Want to see how they're doing?"
Raphael and Michael nod - nobody looked injured, but...Lucifer was never a fighter. He always stood between Calliope and the Council, yes, but that was holding her back. Very different from that.
When they activate the Orb once more…Lucifer's stacking plates with about six pancakes each, Calliope floating them all over to everyone alongside butter, syrup, whipped cream, and every other possible pancake topping.
Charlie's just asking if Calli's doing alright, and the red-head says "I'll be good as new after a hot shower and some sleep, Chars. Luckily for me, the Wards siphoned off any pain to fuel themselves - one of my sneakier ideas, yeah, but it works fantastically." Technically, her pain was converted into energy for the magic reservoir she made for Alastor. But, still, nobody needs to know and worry too much. Or worry about how the Ducks she had everyone carry into battle worked...she self-heals really fast, after all.
Angel Dust laughs, saying "Oh, that is so fucked up and I love it! Also, you just pulled the ultimate power-flex and 'fuck you!' to that tall lady that was staring slack-jawed at you, and it was awesome, Calli!"
Lucifer asks "You aren't going to pass out from bloodloss or anything, are you?" Because, after all, she had a spear through her heart...
Calli shakes her head, saying "Nope. Took a Blood-Replenisher about five minutes ago."
Lucifer nearly drops the frying pan he's holding, exclaiming "Fuck's sakes, Calli, you only need one of those when-"
"I had a spear right through the heart. And it kept beating despite the holes. That's all, Luce, really."
There's several scoffs from the table, and Husk says "'That's all,' she says. Like getting impaled through the heart is a minor inconvenience." Now that he thinks about it...it probably is for her, considering her level of pain tolerance.
Calli shrugs, saying "One of the joys of being me. Still hurts when magic isn't actively siphoning off any pain I'd feel, but that's about it. Dig in! I don't know about anyone else, but-" Her stomach lets out a loud rumble right then, and everyone laughs before starting on the pancakes.
Gabriel, Raphael, and Michael just trade horrified glances, Gabriel shutting the Scrying Orb off a moment later.