Gabriel tries to do one last headcount of everyone that's heading to Hell, not helped whatsoever by Raphael as he flutters around excitedly. After a moment, Michael thankfully catches him by the waist and says "We'll be heading down any minute now, Raph, so calm down for a moment."
Gabriel sighs in relief, then says "Alright, then…you two, me, Molly, Alicia, Jesus, Moses, Riley, and Henry. Alright, looks like everyone is here! Everyone got their pendants?" At everyone's nods, Gabriel waves his hand and a portal opens up to show the front of the Hotel - where there's a demon waiting for them, just outside the door with a piece of paper in their hands. They look kinda like a fish-person? With fins along their arms, and their skin looking like scales - even still, they've got a mostly human face that looks female.
Everyone walks through the portal, Gabriel wondering just how Calli managed to get in and out of Hell if it's that difficult to keep a portal open - could it have just been the distance, perhaps? - and the fish person quickly says "Hello! I'm Calara, nice to meet you all! I'd say welcome to Hell, but…well, Hell's not exactly a welcoming place most of the time." Shrugging to herself, she adds "Miss Calli gave me a list of things to tell everyone…first off, everyone got their pendants?" When everyone holds them up, she says "Good. Miss Calli said not to take them off, ever. Even for a shower or sleeping. Apparently the magical shielding will only work if you're actually wearing them. Second, everyone notice how the crystals in the middle are glowing bright green?" Again, everyone nods. "If they start going dim, go find Miss Calli. Seriously, drop whatever you're doing and go find her. Tell her the pendant needs to be recharged. Her exact instructions. Third, don't go anywhere outside the Hotel without someone from the original group to back you up or vouch for you. Pentagram City has been the main target for the Exorcists since they first started coming down for Extermination Day, so the chances of someone seeing you and trying to attack on sight in a panic are extremely high. It'd honestly be best if you don't go out at all, but it's your choice. On your head, be it. Again, her exact words, actually written down. Fifth, if you see any blue drones flying around, whatever you do don't bring them inside. They're made by an Overlord named Vox, he's obsessed with our own resident Overlord, it's really ridiculous at this point. Smash them, ignore them, whatever you want to do. But they aren't toys, and he more than likely does actively watch what the ones that end up here record. And…that looks like everything Miss Calli wrote down!"
Alicia asks "Why not be out here herself to tell everyone this, if it was so important?"
Calara coughs, then says "I may have accidentally overheard her telling Emily that she thought it might get taken seriously if it wasn't coming from her. Something about three…she called them Archangels, anyway she said they always thought the worst of her after some kind of accident when they first met? I didn't get the whole story, was just in the kitchen to get something to drink."
Gabriel tries very hard to keep his expression from turning to a grimace, but that…sounds about right, actually. They did always assume the worst about her, ever since she hit Michael with a beam of energy in the chest when they first met. They thought her food had something in it to make Lucifer crave more, a way to keep him coming back...but perhaps it really was just amazingly good like he said. They thought she lived away from Heaven because she was up to no good...but she was just uncomfortable and felt unwelcome there. They thought she'd done something to Lucifer, before and after his Fall, but he was the same as he always was until that day and he's still alive and unhurt now.
They assumed a lot about her, and have recently learned none of it was accurate. So they can't really say she's wrong for thinking they'd dismiss the warnings if they came from her - they would've, just a few months ago.
Thankfully, Jesus asks "You call her Miss Calli?" If it's the same Calli he remembers from his childhood, she wouldn't have anyone doing that. Right?
Calara laughs slightly nervously, rubbing the back of her head, and says "Well, she said to just call her Calli, but…everyone's pretty sure she's dating the Radio Demon at this point, especially because Emily, so…yeah, no. Not in a million years. The original group can call her whatever they want, I like living. Unliving. After-living - whatever you want to call it, I don't want to lose it because he thinks I'm hitting on her!"
Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael all exchange looks, a 'Radio Demon' would certainly fit the voice they heard on that one call with her.
Alicia asks "The original group?"
Calara nods, saying "The first two residents, the Bartender, Miss Vaggie, Princess Morningstar, the Radio Demon, and Miss Calli. His Highness, to, though he joined later. They're all kinda…celebrities? Along with pretty much all of Cannibal Town. After stopping Extermination Day. It's all the news could talk about for days, at any rate."
Michael crosses his arms, unable to stop a smirk from forming, and asks "What's so scary about a radio man, then?"
Calara's eyes widen at once in alarm, and she asks "You don't know about- you mean Heaven never- he toppled dozens of ancient Overlords in a matter of weeks!" At everyone's blank looks, she says "Overlords don't get the title without first getting a lot of power - and hanging onto it. And the Radio Demon managed to fell several of them that had been around for centuries one after another! And everyone knows he did it, he broadcast their screams as background noise to his radio show!"
Now everybody's staring in shock at the fish-demon, and Moses nudges Jesus before saying "If this Miss Calli is the same woman that helped me get everyone out of Egypt…honestly, I'm not completely surprised she's caught the interest of someone like that." She could do things he'd never seen or heard of before, crazy things just happened around her, and despite her compassion she had a distinct ruthlessness to her personality that reared itself whenever someone she cared about was threatened.
In short, she was quite literally the most interesting woman in Egypt, and to this day he feels he's perfectly objective with that assessment.
Molly blinks, asking "You know Calli? I met her when she came and brought Emily down here…she didn't seem particularly mean or anything."
Jesus asks "Does this 'Miss Calli' have a white bird? Like a snowy owl?"
Moses adds "That really likes…what'd she call it, bacon?"
Calara nods, saying "Hedwig is usually around somewhere if Miss Calli isn't. And she knows how to find her, usually."
"Oh," Moses says, "yeah, definitely the same woman."
Jesus grins, and says "This is certainly going to be interesting. My childhood certainly was when she was around."
Charlie's waiting in the lobby with Vaggie on one side of her, her dad on the other, and Calli on Lucifer's other side for support. Alastor's leaning against the wall next to the door, ready to either close it or scare the crap out of the delegation - she's not sure which, as both Lucifer and Calli have been on tenterhooks for the whole week getting the place ready.
And then Calara opens the door, saying "So, everyone's in here, and I heard you guys saw at least a few of them up in Heaven?" That would be when Michael walks in, golden armor managing to gleam even in Hell's red light, and then promptly freezes upon seeing Lucifer.
Lucifer, who's feeling distinctly like cornered prey - probably looking like it, to.
What do you lot think you're doing to- let me GO, you two! How can you call yourselves his brothers and yet let THIS happen to him?! Michael, don't you goddamn DARE keep going! LUCIFER! Hang on, I'm coming!
Suddenly the cane he just had in front of him as a prop and Calli's arm looped through his own are the only things keeping him upright, because his legs feel weaker than they did even when he first made the cane to subtly use for support for walking. And they couldn't bear his weight for longer than about five seconds without support back then.
He can feel his heart pounding away like a jackhammer in his chest, feel the dozens of spikes on the chains he was bound with impaling him, feel the agony as his wings get torn out-
"Dad?" Charlie's voice, thankfully, brings his sudden flashback to a screeching halt - though, that just means he's stuck back in the utterly terrifying present. He and Calli had thought it might be the three of them coming down. Sera can absolutely be petty like that.
They hadn't known for sure, though.
And, honestly, the mere thought has been more than enough to keep the Fallen Archangel awake for the past week with nightmares - nightmares and flashbacks not even a Patronus from Calli has been able to drive off, unfortunately. The two of them are both just glad one of the ideas they had was soundproofing the rooms, because otherwise nobody would've been getting any sleep.
Vaggie looks horrified, Charlie not far behind her, Angel, Husk, and Pentious all have matching apprehensive looks of their own, and Calli…looks absolutely livid.
Lucifer glances over at Charlie, saying "M'fine, Applecrisp…" At least, he will be if nothing else happens. He can use Calli and his cane for support, she won't let him faceplant on the floor, and they'll stay right next to Charlie the whole time.
And then, as if the world - or Fate, perhaps - heard him, a familiar voice cries out "Lucifer!!" And then, suddenly, Lucifer's forced back several steps as something quite literally ploughs into him, and he's getting crushed to death by something wrapped around him- chains, pleading, agony, fallingfallingfalling-
"Get off of him!" And then, suddenly, the chains wrapped around him are arms, arms that have just been magically forced off him - and Raphael goes stumbling a few steps backwards, thanks to Calli shoving him away.
And then…there's not enough air, why can't he get any oxygen into his lungs? Did Raphael learn to suck the air straight out of a person's body or something in the past ten millennia? The next thing Lucifer knows, he's facing Calli - he can only tell because of her hair, everything's getting fish-lens-y again - his entire chest is hurting, his throat is closing up, he's dizzy as shit, he can't feel his hands or feet - another panic attack, to no surprise whatsoever. He'd get them a lot when he was still healing, for literal decades. Close to a century, if he remembers right.
Calli and Lilith eventually worked out how to help, but it took a lot of trial and error on everyone's parts.
He's no doubt Calli's been expecting this ever since Sera's call. A lot more red suddenly enters his narrow line of view, and then…everything goes black.
Alastor barely has time to blink before the blur of pale green full-body tackles Lucifer, revealing itself to be an angel only a little taller than Lucifer and Calliope, with wings the same pale green as his robes. Lucifer stiffens up at once, expression turning to absolute terror, and Calli doesn't waste a single second before angrily shouting "Get off of him!" The angel's arms suddenly let go of Lucifer - or, more accurately, get magically ripped off from around his shoulders - and Calli gets between the two and shoves him back a few steps before turning and dragging Lucifer towards the bar and away from the Archangels.
Nobody can hear what she says - or his panicked hyperventilating, likely due to a Silencing Ward - so Alastor shadows over to them. Almost immediately, Calliope says "Alastor, can you take him somewhere else? Someone the three of them won't end up? I'll handle this with Charlie, but someone needs to stay with him." As much as she wants to stay with him, take him away herself, she won't leave Charlie alone with the three of them - nobody else is even close to powerful enough to take on even one of them, much less all three of them. And Charlie needs to show off the Hotel, because she's more inclined to drag the three of them back up to Heaven by their wings. The long way, no less.
Alastor nods at once, putting a hand on Lucifer's shoulder and taking the two of them to his broadcasting tower - given the detail that his office has a sign that says 'Authorized Personnel Only' on it, and you need to go through it to get to both his Tower and his room, it's the only place aside from either Lucifer or Calliope's rooms that he doesn't think anyone from Heaven will end up…and he doesn't want Lucifer questioning why he knows exactly where Calli's new room is, why his shadow looks so at home in it, or why she has his favorite style of radio sitting prominently on her nightstand.
Lucifer glances around once the shadows fade away, still rapid-fire hyperventilating, and Alastor makes a chair appear before forcing Lucifer to sit in it. "Lucifer, sit down. The last thing I want to try and explain to Calliope is how you managed to trip and crack your head open."
Lucifer shakes his head, saying "Charlie- down there- Michael- alone-"
Alastor pushes Lucifer back down into the chair, highly tempted to summon a few tentacles to keep him there until he's sure the Fallen Archangel won't topple over at the first step, and says "You and I both know Calliope won't let any of them out of her sight for even a minute, especially not around Charlotte. So, we're staying up here until this has run its course. Understand?" What the hell is he supposed to do for someone having a panic attack?! He's never dealt with them before, never seen anyone having one until now…and he's relatively sure an all-powerful archangel in the middle of one is not the place to start, but what the hell.
After a moment's thought, Alastor puts on some jazz and makes some tea appear, practically forcing a cup of Chamomile tea in Lucifer's hands - Chamomile is supposed to be calming, after all. It can't hurt, anyway, unless he tries to drink it and starts choking.
Calli rounds on Raphael, Michael, and Gabriel - who's poking his head in under Michael's arm, trying to get his older brother to move already - and furiously asks "What in the actual ever-loving fucking here were you three thinking?!" She's about to keep going when a set of arms wraps around her from behind, and she sees Emily's red sleeves come into view - it's enough to temper her fury, keep her from acting on her knee-jerk reaction to take one of their heads off altogether. Like Michael's.
And then Michael suddenly stumbles forward, as Gabriel says "Move already, Michael! We'd all like to get in here, to!"
Everyone else files in, and Gabriel frowns before asking "Where's-"
Raphael quickly shakes his head, saying "He- I…gave him a panic attack."
Calli flatly says "No shit, Sherlock, brilliant deduction-work there, truly. What the here are you three doing here?! Don't you think you've done enough to him?!"
Molly clears her throat, and says "Um, hi! You remember me, right? From that time in Heaven when you saved Emily from Falling?"
Calli nods, expression lightening some for the spider-like Winner, and says "Molly, right? Hey, Anthony? Arackniss? Got a surp-"
"HOLY SHIT, MOLLY?!"
"Assolutamente no, cazzo! Mols, vieni qui!"
Molly suddenly runs forward, and everyone watches as she quite literally leaps towards the other two spiders - Angel actually brings out his hidden set of arms, while Arackniss quickly climbs onto the nearby barstool so he's at their height - nobody really understands what's said next, as it's rapid-fire Italian from Arackniss, quickly followed by Angel and Molly, but from the way Arackniss has his arms wrapped around both his siblings' shoulders and how Angel's smile is so big he's rivalling Alastor at the moment, the context is pretty obvious.
They're thrilled to be back together.
A woman with light red hair and dark skin steps forward, clearing her throat and saying "Well, then…hello, I'm Alicia. Since everyone here clearly knows Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael, this is Riley."
"G'Day, mates," a tall, clearly-Australian man says, "Ms. Alicia already introduced me, but-"
"No, fuckin' way, Riles? That seriously you?!" Cherri Bomb bounces over to him in delight, and exclaims "No shit, it really is you!"
"Alinta?! Well, this has gotta be the last place I thought I'd see you! How've you been?!" Cherri - or, Alinta, as she was apparently named in her human life - and Riley head over to the bar, where Cherri introduces Riley to Pentious and Angel. "Guys, this is my best mate from up top! Believe it or not, we worked a construction crew together! I knocked shit down, he put it back up better! Loved my explosives a little too much, though…along with the brief skirmishes I found myself in, every once in a while, so I ended up down here while he apparently went to Heaven. How've 'ya been, Riles? Heaven really as nice as they claim it is?"
Everyone stares at the conversing group of demons, Calli glancing at the three Archangels, and then she asks "Anyone else know anyone here?"
Alicia clears her throat, and says "Well, this is Henry…"
The fancy-dressed Winner takes off his hat, and says "Greetings…you don't happen to have my cousin here, do you? At this point, I think I'd better just ask. He was tall, liked to invent things, had a thing about snakes…"
Now everybody stares at Pentious, who tugs at his collar slightly uncomfortably. "What?"
Calli asks "You have a cousin named Henry back when you were alive?"
Pentious nods, saying "I did, but I haven't seen him since…oh. Yes, well, that would do it… Henry! Come meet my girlfriend! I think you'll like her!"
A muscle in Calli's jaw ticks at the prospect of so many of the Winners that Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael brought down being directly connected to residents of the Hotel - not fucking likely!! - and the lights start flickering for a moment as she asks "Anyone else with you three?"
Jesus and Moses step forward, and Calliope promptly facepalms before running the hand through her hair. "Josh, Moses, good to see you two. Now is probably the wrong time…but I damn well told you so. Both of you. And we all know it."
Gabriel's jaw drops, right alongside Michael and Raphael's, and he incredulously asks "You know Moses and Jesus?! You two know Calliope?! Is that why you said you'd come?!"
Jesus and Moses share a glance, then burst out in hysterical laughter in sync. Moses ends up doubled over in his fit of laughter, while Jesus slides down the wall and onto the floor. Eventually, Calli flicks her fingers and they go silent - still rolling in hysterics, but nobody can hear it now. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she says "Fate sent me to the middle of nowhere, and then to Egypt, among other places in other points in time. I was walking down a dirt road, wondering where the here I was supposed to be going because she delights in giving me the bare minimum amount of information and letting me and my bloodline luck curse fuck around and figure it out unless it's potentially world-ending, when suddenly a farmer runs over to me frantically. His wife was in labor, two weeks earlier than anticipated, the nearest doctor is too far away, and he's got no idea what to do when it comes to a human woman. I decided, what the heck, she never gave me any kind of timeframe. How the fuck was I supposed to know the healthy baby boy would end up being willingly nailed to a fucking cross just to prove a damn point? …not that I have any room to talk, really."
"Hold up just a minute," Angel incredulously says, "you mean to say you helped Virgin Mary give birth to baby Jesus and had no idea whatsoever?!"
Calli rolls her eyes, saying "Considering the detail that they named him Joshua, no, I didn't have any clue."
Another Sinner asks "What about the star, and the three wise men, and…and…"
Calli deadpans "Creative license, artistic imagination, and total bullshit. There was no star, no three random men standing around waiting for Mary to finish giving birth…and Mary was no Virgin, I can promise you that. Hate to disappoint, but there were three hot, sweaty people in a barn, two of them were crying loud enough to make my ears ring with every contraction, and it smelled of goats, sheep, and cows. I checked in every few months after he was about two and a half, and there was nothing out of the ordinary the whole time. And, yes, I would've sensed something."
Moses finally stops laughing, tapping Calli on the shoulder and gesturing towards his head, and Calli flicks her fingers again. "So," Moses says, a smirk on his face, "bloodline luck curse, hm? That explains quite a lot, Miss underground slave rescue group. Miss seven plagues striking the Pharoah's most trusted."
"Uh," Michael incredulously asks, "come again? Underground slave rescue group?!"
Moses grins, leaning against a wall, and says "Oh, yes, big time as they say these days. I met Calli when I was running from having killed one of the Overseers, and Calliope somehow made me invisible. They went right past us, even looked down the alley we were standing in, much to my utter shock. I told her what was going on, she hissed something, then shrugged and said she didn't have anything better to do. About half a year later, she got all of us out from Egypt by - get this - walking under the Red Sea. Craziest thing I'd ever seen, and I can only imagine even today what the Pharoah's men thought when they saw all the footprints leading towards the ocean only to vanish."
Calli shrugs nonchalantly, saying "He was probably relieved my little distraction campaign to keep all their attentions off of the disappearing slaves was over, in all likelihood."
"Oh, fuck…"
"No shit?!"
"Wait, I thought the Red Sea was parted?!"
Calli shrugs, saying "Again, artistic license by someone. What actually happened? Gigantic, overpowered Bubble-Head Charm…that I tweaked a little for the occasion. Took a while, yeah, but everyone had enough food for two weeks so the…what, six days we were underwater was mostly me staying awake and people carrying their kids."
"Well," a dumbfounded Alicia says, "that's certainly something…"
Calli shrugs, saying "Welcome to my eternal existence, bringing Fate her kicks since the day I was born. Alicia, wasn't it? You see any familiar faces around here? Anyone at all?"
Alicia scans the crowd, then shakes her head and says "No, unfortunately I don't. I'd been hoping I could see my son, but…Alastor must be in another part of Hell."
Angel drops his glass, Husk drops the bottle he was holding, Vaggie drops her spear, and almost everyone else drops their jaws through the floor. Charlie clears her throat, and asks "Uh…what was your son's name?"
"Alastor! Alastor Hartfelt, to be- why did he just faint?"
Angel and Pentious slowly lower a very unconscious Husk to the ground, the bartender having dropped in a dead-faint as soon as the name was heard, and Calli says "Well…good news, he's here. He's also great company and an even better chef." Slowly turning to Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael, she then asks "Gentlemen, any particular reason every single Winner you brought with is directly connected to someone who lives here?!" Oh, if Sera ordered them to gather up a bunch of Winners with connections to people in the Hotel and use them as some kind of fucked-up message to the rest, she's going to unleash Armageddon on her ass!
Gabriel says "We didn't even know! Honest!" It's one hell of a coincidence, yes, but it really is a coincidence on their part! ...mostly, bar Molly. Molly was intentional, the others volunteered!
Calli lets out a hard laugh, and says "And I'm just supposed to take your word for it. Right. I'm just supposed to believe you aren't planning on leaving them here. Just like I was supposed to believe you were suddenly interested in getting to know me anytime Lucifer brought me to Heaven. Got it." Just like they were all supposed to believe Gabriel just showed up at her doorstep a week after they freed Eve because he finally decided to try and get to know her. Right.
That was as believable as this is.
The breath that comes out of her nose, after she closes her eyes and pinches the bridge, should legitimately have steam or smoke coming out of it. And then, suddenly, the door suddenly opens once more, and Azrael is standing there with a massive grin on his face. "Surprise, Songbird! Guess who's visiting for a bit?!"
Calli just groans, running a hand through her hair, and flatly says "You knew it'd be them."
Azrael shrugs unrepantantly, saying "I had a gut feeling, honestly. Looks like it was right…again."
"And you are here because…"
Azrael grins, ruffling Calli's hair - rather, trying to, and getting her to burst into green mist before sluggishly reforming a few feet away - and says "Keeping you from committing Arch-Angelic triple homicide at some point. Oh, hey, you're the one from the cross. Long-time no see."
Jesus frowns, asking "We've met?"
Azrael shrugs, saying "No mortal soul ever remembers me. Not supposed to. But, yeah, we met. I pulled your soul off the cross while Calli kept watch over your body until they took it down." It's not the kind of thing one forgets, not many people die nailed to a cross.
Calli shakes her head, then tiredly says "Just keep an eye on them when I can't, Az."
Raphael frowns at her, noticing several details she's trying and almost succeeding to hide now that he's paying closer attention - he's been a healer for far too long not to notice the signs of exhaustion she's almost managing to cover up. But he can just make out bruise-colored circles under her eyes, almost completely concealed by makeup until her fingers smeared it pinching the bridge of her nose, her eyes are slightly bloodshot, and her skin doesn't look particularly healthy. Honestly…she looks like she's either getting sick or hasn't slept longer than twenty minutes at a time in weeks. After a moment spent cataloguing everything, he asks "When was the last time you got some sleep?"
Calliope stares at him, expression somewhere between 'what the actual fuck?' and 'you have to be fucking kidding me, not now!' and then eventually takes a step backwards and says "None of your business. Certainly not your concern. You're here to play nice on behalf of Heaven? Fine, whatever, play nice. But don't think for even a single instant that I won't come down on you harder than a bag of bricks if any of you three try anything." She turns towards everyone else, then glances back and says "Oh, and Michael?"
When he gives her a curious glance, she throws a hand out and he gets yanked forward into it - she's gripping his neck, hard enough that he can feels her nails digging into it. Not enough to make him bleed, but certainly a warning that she can and will if he gives her reason to, he's no doubt. "You lay so much as a single finger on anyone here, I don't care who the fuck they are, and I swear to Life, Death, Fate, and Magic themselves I'll pluck you like a raw chicken and hand-feed you to everyone I can find in Cannibal Town in pieces. Am I clear?"
Michael nods carefully, not daring to open his mouth, and she releases him at once.
Dusting her hands off, Calli says "Glad we could clear that up."
Everyone from Heaven stares at her in utter shock as she walks over to the bar and revives Husk, quite a few of the new Sinners right along with them, and Charlie claps her hands together and force-cheerfully says "Well, now that introductions are out of the way, let's start a tour of the Hotel! We'll get everyone some rooms picked out as we go!"