Velvette walks through the door of the hotel, dressed in a somewhat inconspicuous black and pink hoodie, muttering to herself as she looks around for Vox. What she finds, though, is a massive basin that's nearly full of some foul-smelling clear liquid that makes her want to gag from ten feet away, all the Sins conversing, and Valentino trapped under a blue dome on the floor near them - now she's starting to understand what Vox meant when he said it was the biggest damn mess he's ever seen anyone make.
She's kinda wondering about the literal mess, though, because nothing looks particularly messy.
She's really wondering about the two humans talking at the far wall with Rosie from Cannibal Town, though - Calliope Peverell, she couldn't not recognize with her blood-red hair and the bird on her shoulder.
The brown-haired human, though? Vaguely familiar, but not ringing any bells.
Vox quickly appears after she sends him a text, relief animating itself all over his face as he walks over. "Oh, thank gods you're here, Vel. This…it's bad, alright? I'm not even gonna attempt to lie about it, it's bad. Val dug himself a hundred-foot deep grave." And it's been made abundantly clear to him that either Val's going down or they're all going down with him. This is usually the part where Velvette tries to talk some reason into him, but...honestly, they all beat her to it, and brutally at that. Lucifer and Calliope bringing up a list of charges a mile long that they could make stick with all of VoxTek if they tried to fight Val's punishment drove that home all too clearly.
Velvette pinches the bridge of her nose, shooting an incredulous glance over at Valentino - who catches it immediately, or at least notices she's there, sending her pleading, pouting looks - and asks "What kind of mess are we talking about? I'm not quite getting the literal part about the 'biggest damn mess you've ever seen' thing you mentioned."
Vox straightens up, saying "Aside from threatening to shoot everyone in the Hotel until he found Angel Dust-"
"What?!"
"-to Stolas Goetia's face-"
"WHAT?!"
"-while all the Sins were in attendance for Princess Charlotte's birthday party, along with the Von Eldritches and who knows how many other extremely powerful figures-"
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me, Vox."
"-it's in the kitchen. Apparently, one unwritten fact about Calliope Peverell is that she has the compulsive need to feed everyone she even remotely likes or is in the general vicinity of for any extended period of time. And she's quite anal about her kitchen being clean, at least somewhat organized when it's in use, and all her food and regularly-used items not being - and I quote - coated in drugs."
Velvette gives Vox a questioning glance as they get near the doorway, asking "What's that got to do with…oh. My. Gods. Val did all this?!"
Vox nods his head as he surveys the disaster Val somehow made, and says "Val did all this. I still don't know how. What I do know is that there's going to be hell to pay, no pun intended."
Velvette side-eyes Val, then hisses "So why are we paying it?" This is generally the part where she either tells her two idiot business partners to stop with the terrible idea, stop face-sucking and pay attention for five seconds, or gets one of them to go calm the other down from their latest rage. This, though? If he weren't already sounding completely resigned, she'd be telling him to drop Val like a boiling-hot potato. Wash his hands of the guy so they, at least, won't be killed just for being on the edges of this utter disaster.
Vox lets out a mirthless laugh, and says "Because Val is currently going to be paying an even worse price, Velvette. Queen Lilith stripped him of all his soul contracts after speaking with Angel Dust on the phone-"
"Fuck!"
"-the entire Royal Family plus, like, half the Sins are trying to figure out what to do with his four hundred and twenty eight souls they now need to find jobs for, and Peverell and Asmodeus have been talking about building a studio of their own to start making movies to generate profits to pay back all of Val's contracted souls for all the movies they had a hand in."
Velvette rubs at her temples, feeling a migraine rivalling the time Val ripped apart all her models in another one of his tantrums coming on, and asks "Again, why are we here? As in, you and I?"
Vox scowls, and says "I originally came here to try and PR our way out of this mess. Now, though…I was told we get to help clean up Val's mess since we're the ones stupid enough to go into business with him."
Velvette scowls right back, and says "That's ridiculous!"
Vox hisses "We're just lucky they aren't demanding VoxTek pay all of Val's employees the amounts the movies they helped make made. I've run the numbers ten times, and the results are the same - we'd go bankrupt just trying to pay Angel Dust off. And there's no way to spin this where we come out on top, I've been searching."
Velvette plants one hand on her hip, incredulously asking "So we…what? Just let them walk all over us?"
"He threatened the top three tiers of Hell's Hierarchy! Plus several members of the fourth! To one member's face! Either they get Val, or Alastor gets Val permanently and they take VoxTek for over three times its worth! Closer to four!" And he seriously doubts they'd be willing to do a payment plan.
Velvette sighs, but doesn't argue anymore - any one of them could flatten the two of them with absurd ease, and they both know it. Calliope already showed as much the one time she visited the studio with her niece, after all, and there's no doubt the others are just as protective of the princess if they were all attending her birthday party.
Calliope notices the two of them, and claps her hands together as she walks over. "You're here, excellent. You've seen the kitchen?"
Translation, you've seen the absolute disaster zone he left my kitchen looking like?
Vox and Velvette both nod, and Calli says "Good. We're going to decontaminate it. All of it."
Vox blinks, asking "Decontaminate?!" He thought they'd be cleaning it - what, exactly, does she have in mind?!
"The mess itself is a matter of a few spells to fix. The microwave, not so much. But the detail that your ex-partner was in here for so long is a bigger issue by far."
Velvette flatly asks "How so?" She's not seriously suggesting they find a way to get rid of Val's pheromones...is she?
Calli fixes the shorter woman with a deadpan gaze for a moment, then says "I'm well aware of his Pheromones and saliva. As such, I developed a spell that could detect any trace of him months ago - something Vox, over here, is aware of since I explicitly told him I'd be searching for any trace of Valentino's presence. Anything with a red haze means he's either licked it or coated it with the shit he secretes constantly. Or did you not know cigarettes don't generally have red smoke even in literal Hell? And I don't even need to ask if you knew about his saliva, you diluted it down for your Love Potion."
Vox swallows, glancing inside and seeing everything is red now - the dishes, the silverware, the walls, likely the floor, the cabinets, everything in the room including the door - then says "I see, and you believe even a light exposure to Val's pheromones could be dangerous! Let me assure-"
"Cut the crap and try selling that when you don't have red streaks coming out the side of your mouth. Because I'm not buying it. I didn't get a migraine after sitting in his studio for an entire night for no reason. And like fuck am I going to let his shit contaminate any food I make! Get some gloves, grab some buckets, we're getting rid of all that crap!"
Velvette trades glances with Vox, noticing how the smiley human at the wall looks like he's enjoying this way too much with Rosie, and says "I'm almost afraid to ask…but, buckets of what, exactly?"
Calli just points at the giant basin that's being given a very wide berth. Honestly, she's seriously considering force-feeding Valentino a goblet-ful of the Immunizer - except they want him to actually be able to do everything he put Anthony through, and there's every possibility he'd die from it.
Velvette gags at once, clapping her hands over her mouth as she fights not to throw up at the very idea, and eventually says "No way, it smells absolutely vile!"
Calli just raises an eyebrow at her, asking "You have no idea what it is, do you?"
"The most foul concoction of cleaning supplies known to humanity?"
"Wrong. Immunizer. It'll bond with Valentino's toxins. Like I said," she makes three sets of mop buckets, gloves that go up to one's elbow, and cleaning rags and scrub brushes, "grab a bucket, let's get to work." She grabs everything out of one bucket, pulling the gloves on as all the other stuff floats in the air, and walks over before dunking the large bucket in the basin of 'immunizer' and heading into the destroyed kitchen. And then she waves her hand, and a wave of green washes over the entire room with a few hissed words - and then everything is covered in a familiar red haze once more.
"Let me guess," Vox reluctantly says, shoulders slumped slightly as he resigns himself to an entire day of scrubbing dishes, "that red haze is Val's pheromones. Not just proof they were there."
Calli side-eyes him, saying "Got it in one. The buckets have some Runes on the bottom that'll Vanish the contents once the Immunizer can't bind to anymore toxins."
Vox watches as all the discarded food vanishes into thin air, but it miraculously doesn't make him feel any better as the dishes stack themselves higher than he can see on the counters - it's gonna be a long day!
Sure enough, he's already getting dizzy as shit ten minutes later when a semi-familiar voice says "Seeing as I'm the Hotel Host, I suppose I should help with all this."
Vox glances over, and sees Alastor's maybe an inch from Calliope, shadows melding into black gloves of his own as he grabs some plates and starts washing them in her bucket.
Calliope frowns, saying "You don't need to. I'm not leaving these two alone in the kitchen, but you can go about your day. And, incidentally, if they haven't already done presents, please tell Charlie she put mine in her pocket."
"Ah," Alastor says, "I'd wondered just what it was I'd walked into, so to speak, but I was a bit preoccupied at the time."
Velvette's jaw drops when he puts his cane to the side, and she incredulously asks "Alastor?!"
"Who else?"
"Why- How- When-" Shaking her head, Velvette eyes him for a moment then eventually says "So, this is what you looked like when you were alive, huh? No wonder Vox is obsessed." Yes, that was the first coherent thing her brain came up with and she's rolling with it.
Alastor narrows his eyes at her, and flatly says "We met in Hell."
Calli adds "Plus, they were alive in different time periods, different states, and had completely different backgrounds. Not a snowball's chance down here that they met while they were still alive."
Velvette sighs in aggravation, then asks "Any particular reason you're looking significantly less demonic lately?"
Alastor gives her a thin-lipped smile, and says "None I'm going to share with you."
"Seriously," Calli says, "you can head upstairs. I'll handle them."
Alastor rolls his eyes, then says "No."
Calli shrugs, saying "Your choice. You know your voice changed, right? Lost the radio filter, even though you've still got the Transatlantic accent going."
Alastor shrugs, saying "I'd noticed. Seems my radio filter only works if I'm the 'Radio Demon' - my turn. The feathers?"
Calli holds one hand up, the plate she was holding dunking itself in her bucket, and says "Phoenix Feathers, or at least mimicking them. And my nails are sharper, now. Your tattoo-like shadows on your hands?"
Vox watches as the two of them go back and forth, completely at ease as they spitball questions and answers back and forth in a way he's never seen with Alastor before. And, fuck if it's not screwing with him in every way possible.
"You've still got your mic, does it still play music?"
Alastor shrugs, his shadow tossing him the object from where it's leaning next to Calli, and he taps it a few times before it crackles to life and starts playing music. He changes the song a few times before it settles on a jazz tune Vox knows he's fond of, and Calli says "Seems you can still use at least some of your radio-based abilities like this."
Alastor shrugs, grinning at her as he says "We'll just have to do some trial and error after the kitchen is sorted out."
Calli scowls, and adds "And I check the bar, make sure he didn't go through any of the drinks."
Alastor sighs in irritation, rolling his eyes even as his shadow shifts in obvious annoyance, and says "I wish I could say I couldn't imagine him doing that."
"I'll make a new couch, to. Easier than hoping we've gotten the last of his shit out of the cushions. New rug, to. Vox, your bucket just emptied itself. Go get some more."
Vox growls to himself, but snatches up the now-empty bucket and stalks off towards the basin - he's gone for thirty seconds, maybe a minute, but when he comes back Calli's got Alastor's staff in her hands and is in the middle of some kind of story. "-everyone jumps out, and she leaps at least a foot in the air!"
Alastor laughs, his microphone letting out more of that laughter it's so good at, and Vox promptly drops the bucket - Alastor never laughed like that for him! It was always those faked, sarcastic laughs meant to get a rise out of someone - or just meant to keep the conversation going, for that matter, no real emotion other than boredom behind them! This, though, his entire body is shaking from laughter, one of his arms is clutching at his sides, and he's got tears building up in his eyes - that's not faked.
The both of them plus Velvette look over at him as soon as the bucket crashes into the floor, the Immunizer spilling everywhere, and Alastor's expression instantly closes off even as Calli says "Starting on the floors? I'll start on the walls, then. We've got most of the plates finished, thankfully. Vox, you're gonna want these."
A scrub broom and mop appear on the counter behind him, even as Alastor picks Calli up and sets her on the counter. And then, of course, he says "Your bucket just emptied, I'll go fill it up."
Alastor shadows away, and Vox stares at Calli for a moment before angrily snatching up the scrub broom and setting to work furiously running it back and forth, working the liquid into the tiles with a burning hatred. He hears Calliope pick up Alastor's staff, but doesn't look up from where he's scrubbing all the liquid into a red foam - doesn't look up as the jazz song ends, doesn't look up when there's a sloshing sound and Calli saying she picked up his staff, and doesn't look up when she suggests a song Az introduced her to after Reaping a soul who choked to death laughing at it.
He does, however, snap his head up at once when Alastor laughs once more and readily agrees.
He's on TV
Where macho Reigns
No Common sense
He ain't got no brains…
Alastor tries and fails to hold in a laugh, then eventually says "I can name ten people off the top of my head that song fits. And Adam was the top of it."
Calli laughs at once, saying "Oh, do I ever believe that. What'd he say to you? Actually asked me, to my face, what the big deal was about mind-controlling someone, having sex with them multiple times, getting two kids out of them, and treating them like a slave - because, in his words, she never minded it."
Alastor says "That sounds about right for the idiot. Told me a mortal soul was no match for him while we were battling."
Calli snorts, saying "That idiot, I swear…he was a mortal soul, dammit!"
"I believe you may have reminded him of that when you came flying down - or, at least, when you lit him up like Fourth of July."
Vox stares at the two of them, gaze ping-ponging back and forth as they banter back and forth and poke fun and jokes at one another - what in all the Rings of Hell is happening right now?! He knew Alastor for literal decades, and they never did this - she's known him for less than a year, and he's…what, turned into a cute, cuddly deer over her?!
No, no fucking way is this actually happening.
After what seems like half the damn day spent listening to the two of them banter like they're the only ones in the room, they all finally stop for a break and Calli asks "Who wants what? I'm cooking."
Vox immediately crosses his arms, saying "Pass."
Calli just shrugs, even as Alastor gives him a look that screams 'you dumbass', and says "Your choice. Velvette?"
"You're joking, right? I don't think I'll be eating anything for the rest of the week after being around this…Immunizer crap of yours!" She seriously gets the feeling that didn't cover up the nausea that's roiling around in her gut or the migraine that's throbbing away in her skull. Even the thought of food makes her want to puke.
Calli just shrugs, then glances over at Alastor and asks "Jambalaya? I've got some tupperware of venison for you up in my room. Blood Pop?"
Vox scoffs derisively as a lollipop, of all things, appears in Calli's hand for Alastor, and sarcastically asks "You seriously think any Overlord - or anyone down here, for that matter - is going to stick a lollipop in their mouth?"
Calli casually shrugs, saying "Well, considering it was literally made out of the main ingredient in the top five strongest healing potions, magical salamander blood, all the vampires in my old world said they tasted great. And I was on the activated version made by Draco for a straight year, so I can attest to the detail that they do, in fact, taste like blood."
Alastor raises an eyebrow, asking "Activated version?"
"He and Hermione figured out how to magically activate the Salamander blood. Had me sucking on them constantly to help with the nerve damage, spell damage, malnutrition from the camping trip of hell…you name it, I had it going on at the time." Shrugging to herself, she adds "It was only later that we figured out I should've burned out from the rate my body was healing, but, you know. Immortal, and all." She turns to head for the stairs to get to her room, only to vanish in a burst of Phoenix Fire.
All three Overlords stare where she just was, and Velvette eventually says "That was…actually, that was a fucked-up little backstory about that 'Blood Pop' of hers."
When Calli gets back, a Tupperware container filled with chunks of raw venison, Vox is incredulously asking "-don't even know what this 'Magical Salamander Blood' is or what it'll do, why in hell would you put that in your mouth?!"
Alastor takes the Blood Pop out of his mouth, then says "Tastes great, actually." And he's not just saying that to get to Vox, it really does taste excellent, sweet, but with a spicy undertone and heat.
"What, you'll just put anything she makes in your mouth, then?!"
"Given how excellent a cook she is, along with the fact that she's never tried to drug me, hypnotize me, or otherwise control me...yes, without hesitation."
Calli rolls her eyes at Alastor as he puts the Blood Pop back in his mouth, and starts making two bowls of Jambalaya for the two of them. The raw venison gets mixed into the bowl of food that goes to float in front of Alastor, Calli puts cooked sausage into her own, and the two of them end up sitting together on the counter as they eat. And, Vox notes with something akin to horror, they even swing their legs together - Alastor would do that sometimes, if he was feeling particularly relaxed or thought he could let his guard down, but it was few and far between even when the two of them were on good terms!
And then they went their very separate ways, after Alastor gave Vox his very final refusal and cut ties - and outright told him to screw off, take his offer of working with him and Val and shove it down Val's drug-coated throat - and they were sworn enemies after that.
And then, because of course she does, Calliope hands Alastor a bottle that looks like Fruit Punch Powerade - before he can even say anything, though, Alastor practically rips the cap off and takes three large gulps.
Velvette frowns, tugging at Vox's arm before he can lose his shit altogether, and quietly asks "Is it just me, or has everything she's given him been red?" She's not even going to ask if the red-head knows Alastor's a known Cannibal...but she's suddenly morbidly curious if she's been actively catering to it.
Vox blinks in shock, the venison in the bowl of Jambalaya was obvious, as was the 'Blood Pop' - whatever that actually was - but the Powerade? He's suddenly finding it a little too convenient that it was Fruit Punch she made for him - easy to hide something else red in there. Like, for instance, blood to get him hooked on. "You don't even know what's in that! For all you know, she could've-"
"Could've what, Vox?" Calli fixes Vox with an icy green gaze, expression completely stony as she asks "What do you think I put in any of this? Hm? Some of Valentino's saliva? Or her 'Love Potion' for that matter? Considering the detail that we've been cleaning the kitchen for hours with an actual Potion that bonds to and negates Valentino's shit, the main ingredient in that drug of yours, that'd be a complete waste of fucking time since it would be negated by all the Potion Fumes we've been breathing in. And I'm going with that argument because clearly me saying 'I'd never' isn't going to get through to you! What, has that crap really fried your circuits or something?" Gods, she's so sick and tired of people baselessly assuming she's drugging someone via food! Or drugging people, period! The next person to accuse her of slipping drugs into the food she makes is going to find her fist going through their face!
Alastor puts an arm around Calli's waist, partly as a sign to Vox to fuck off and partly to keep her from trying to attack him when he can tell whatever painkillers Belphegor gave her are wearing off rapidly, and flatly says "She put blood in this. Her blood, to be precise. Something I'm perfectly aware of." Lucifer's brothers at least had the flimsy excuse of not being there to see her make the food - Vox, on the other hand, was right there.
"You don't even know what that'll do to-"
"Get me drunk on magic if I have enough of it." Alastor rolls his eyes, asking "What? Did you think she'd try to poison me? Use it to…what, control me? Need I remind you, that's your thing. Calli, on the other hand, has the biggest issue about autonomy, controlling others, and stripping away another's choice I've ever seen."
Calli Vanishes her now-empty bowl, and coldly says "Break's over for me. I'll start cleaning on top of the fridge." She needs to get away from Vox, before she coats his entire electronic head with magic - he's still going to be cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom, accusations concerning her food or not.
Alastor waits until Calli is in the kitchen before turning his glare onto Vox, feeling his skin practically itch from the magic bubbling up underneath in his sheer fury, and stalks over while saying "You ever accuse her of trying to drug me, manipulate me, or otherwise try to control me again, you obnoxious, eight-bit, hypocritical boxhead, and I'll rip you apart in front of all of Pentagram City, am I clear?" He doesn't even need to ask what Vox and Velvette's dumbstruck expressions are about, he could feel his own ear canals moving as he somehow shifted from human to demon form - and, as it turns out, losing one set of ears and sprouting another aches a little bit.
Oh well, he can live with it - he's had worse and then some.
Grabbing Vox by his bowtie when he doesn't immediately respond, Alastor snarls "AM I CLEAR, VOX?"
Vox quickly nods, and Alastor shrinks down to his usual demonic height, having grown a bit so he could tower over the screen-faced idiot.
Velvette frowns even as Alastor heads into the kitchen, but doesn't get to say anything before Calli's voice drifts over asking "What'd he do that he's a hypocrite now? Just curious so I know what to put my sword up his backside for."
Vox swallows, and then does so again when Alastor says "I've got a whole list, actually. But, the first thing is that he tried to hypnotize me the night we met. Unfortunately for him, his hypnosis works via Radio Waves, of all things."
Calli asks "He tried to hypnotize you via Radio Waves?!" Alastor's been able to control radios since he first appeared in Hell - needed to learn control over that magic, yes, but radio waves have always been his to command since he first manifested in Pride Ring. And Vox, idiot that he was, tried to use Radio Wave Hypnosis on him?!
"Mm-hm. That was his thing, at the time. He really was going to get enough souls to become an Overlord one contract at a time, all by hypnotizing random Sinners he met at bars and nightclubs."
"I don't know whether to say that's hilarious, pathetic, or hilariously pathetic. He obviously stepped up his game at some point, though, given the detail that he now broadcasts his hypnosis via every advertisement his studio."
"Mm. That was after he went into business with Velvette, as he hadn't started doing that until sometime after I had to leave the Pentagram. At least, I assume that was Velvette's doing. Valentino certainly wasn't smart enough to realize how his powers work."
"Any other hypnosis attempts I should know about?"
"He tried a number of times to 'convince' me to modernize- update myself, he called it. Luckily for me, I control Radio Waves. I just changed the frequency of his hypnosis to render it ineffective."
Velvette gives Vox a look that says 'You dumbass! We were trying to keep her somewhat happy with us!'
"And then there was the time he offered to let me go into business with him, his words. I got there, Valentino licked my arm as some disgusting form of greeting, I could smell the same stink all over the food at the meal waiting there so I assumed he either licked it all or slipped his saliva in somehow, and then Vox threw an absolute tantrum and tried to 'convince' me yet again when I told him I wouldn't work with him and his pimp of a fling. And, yes, I knew they were in a relationship by that point. Vox already had the red streaks coming from the side of his mouth by then, and they were in full force that night."
"For fucks sake, I'll just make a list of everything he needs a beatdown for…"