Individual Session: 29th of December 1993
Half an hour before Harry Potter was set to arrive in Michael Morris' therapy office, Michael sat down to review his notes and research on the client.
Harry James Potter, 13yo male. Current Diagnosis: Manic-Depressive Illness.
Treatment Plan: Therapy and discussion of medication
(therapist will recommend foreign resources to SS if situation warrants). Home Life: HP resides with guardian, SS, during the summers.
During the school term HP is a student at an elite boarding school for gifted students. SS states that HP excels in studies with minimal effort, despite HP having no formal education from Primary Year 3 to his first year in boarding school. Prior to residing with SS HP was homeless from 8-11. 1-8yr's HP resided with maternal relatives who mentally, emotionally, and physically abused him and ultimately kicked him out. HP parents were killed when he was 1yo and HP retains no solid memories. HP was told by relatives his parents had been addicts and abandoned him. According to SS, HP was subjected to verbal, physical, and sexual abuse while homeless. HP has shared minimal memories of this with SS (trust is there). SS states HP has many close friends at school. HP has a pet owl who SS states he is kind and nurturing to. Current Difficulties: HP displays signs of self-harm and has
shown suicidal intent/plans. HP has had (2) reoccurring episodes of depressive episodes since June 1993. HP also displayed manic behavior in summer of 1993. HP struggles with abandonment (godfather?) and betrayals. HP displays deep mistrust of others in regards to honesty and his safety. HP displays anger easily and denies other emotions. HP discusses murder as expected retribution to others; unsure if truth or shock value. HP is manipulative esp. when feeling vulnerable or targeted in conversation. Current Therapy Plan: Explore possible additional diagnoses.
Discuss depth of feelings towards others. Identify thoughts on morality and right/wrong. Discuss trusted relationships. Future Therapy Goals: Coping mechanisms for depressive
states/manic states/suicidal thoughts/ and thoughts of self-harm. Discuss past and how it impacts reality. Establish positive views of self and others. Misc. Notes: I have no hope that HP will continue therapy
without sufficient pushing from SS. HP will likely attempt to manipulate situation to seem as if there is nothing wrong or will refuse to speak altogether.
Michael finished off his cup of coffee, extra strong for what he suspects will be an especially difficult hour, and went out to collect Harry.
"Harry," he smiled at the young man seated in the waiting room. "Why don't you come in?"
Harry silently got up and slowly walked toward Michael. He raised a questioning brow when Michael held the door open before edging around him and quickly darting in the office. Michael closed the door and took his seat, gesturing for Harry to do the same. Harry sat on the edge of the couch, vigilantly looking around the room. He seemed much more unsettled than he had his last visit.
Michael made a few quick notes of his behavior.
H appears anxious & uncomfortable- fear of talking or being alone w/ me?
"How are you today?" Michael asked pleasantly.
"Brill," Harry said tightly.
"Is there anything specific you'd like to talk about today?" Michael asked.
"Nope," Harry said, intentionally popping the P in a likely effort to be irritating. Michael just smiled.
"Why don't you tell me about yourself?"
"Sure," Harry said as he scooted back in his seat. "My names Harry Potter and I'm incredibly famous."
"Are you?"
"Course I am," Harry scoffed. "The Dark Lord tried to kill me and failed. Everyone knows my name, because I defeated him once. Well, three times if you count Quirrell and the ghost, which I do. I'm going to kill him for good one day."
H has dreams of grandeur.
"Who is the Dark Lord?" Michael asked, playing along with Harry's attempt to waste his hour session with fantasy stories.
Harry leaned forward, his green eyes were twinkling mischievously behind his silver framed glasses.
"They call him 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named'," he whispered dramatically before laughing. "I call him Timmy though, he hates that."
"And Timmy tried to kill you when you were a baby?"
"Yep," Harry says. "Couldn't do it though, could he? So I'm famous."
"Tell me something else about yourself," Michael suggested.
"There's nothing else to say," Harry said, his bored face now a stark contrast to the mischievous look before.
"Why don't you tell me about your friends then?"
"Why?"
"Severus said you have a lot of friends you met at school," said Michael. "I thought perhaps if there was nothing else to say about yourself then you might like to talk about them."
"What did Snape say about them?" Harry asked suspiciously.
H values privacy regarding his relationships.
"Unfortunately just like I can't tell Severus the specifics that you share with me, I won't share the specifics of what he said either."
In truth, Severus hadn't said much in their one session over the summer. He simply said that Harry had many close friends and that he had stayed with a few of them the previous summer. Michael simply hoped that Harry would underestimate his own harmless manipulations to guide the conversation along.
"I dunno what to tell you," Harry eventually said. "I have a whole bunch of friends, don't I?"
Michael maintained his polite look of interest to keep Harry at ease during their discussion.
"Who would you say that you're the closest to?" he asked.
"Susan," Harry immediately said.
"Not Luna?"
Harry scowled at the reminder of Severus quoting the beginning of his suicide note.
"No, not Luna," he said tightly. "I said Susan, didn't I?"
"Alright, Susan then," Michael said calmly. "Why is she your closest friend?"
"She was my first friend," Harry shrugged. "She always takes my side and she's always mad when I don't take her on missions with me."
H values loyalty highly in his relationships.
Michael ignored Harry's baiting phrase of 'going on missions' as another attempt to derail the conversation.
"Would you say you love her? As a friend?"
Harry flinched slightly before staring at the wall off to the side of Michael's head. His jaw was clenched tightly and Michael could see that he was flexing his hands convulsively.
H displays deep discomfort when discussing feelings of love.
"You don't have to answer any question you don't want to Harry," he said softly. "Would you say that you trust Susan?"
"Course," Harry said, the muscles in his shoulders and torso relaxing slightly at the new question. "She hasn't given me a reason not to."
"Do you usually trust people until they've given you a reason not to or did Susan somehow earn it, like Severus did?"
"Susan would never tell anyone any of my secrets," Harry said, looking properly at Michael with his face now reflecting irritation. "So she bloody well earned it, didn't she?"
"Did Severus earn it as well?"
Harry rolled his shoulders before answering.
"He did," he said curtly.
"And he lost it?" Michael asked gently.
"Not your business, is it?" Harry said.
Trust is hard earned and easily lost for H.
"Well, besides Susan, and maybe still Severus, who else do you trust?"
"Luna," Harry said. "Maybe Theo. Sometimes Ron and Blaise. Usually Draco, but he's a gossip, isn't he? Mione and Neville a bit."
"Are those your other friends?" Michael asked as he jotted down their names.
"Suppose so. Mione and Luna aren't in the gang but Mione's a genius and Luna's... well... Luna. So we're friends."
"What about other adults?"
Harry blinked at him for a moment before crossing his arms defensively across his chest.
"I don't spend a lot of time around other adults. Blaise's mum is a genius, and Susan's aunt is nice for a cop, but that's about it."
H distrusts adults more than children, Michael made a note of it even though it wasn't very surprising given his past history.
"Do you think there are adults who can gain your trust?" he asked.
Harry shrugged silently, his eyes narrow and suspicious.
"Who trusts you?"
Harry's suspicious look was gone in an instant as he blinked at Michael in surprise at the question.
"Er- dunno. Maybe Snape?"
"Are you a trustworthy person?"
Harry shifted uncomfortably, "Dunno."
"Do people confide in you?"
Harry nodded his head after thinking it through for a moment.
"Sometimes about some stuff," he said vaguely.
"Okay," Michael smiled again at him hoping to ease his way in to one of his preferred methods of establishing the clients view of their own morality. "What if you told me one instance where you displayed that you are a trustworthy person and one instance where you didn't?"
"Sure, you first," Harry smirked.
H uses information as a bartering system.
"Okay," Michael said easily, used to clients who preferred to 'trade' instead of 'share'. "I believe I display my trustworthiness every day in my career because I never share client information." He leaned towards Harry and spoke in a conspiratorial tone, "And if you can keep a secret, then I didn't display trustworthiness when I cheated on a math exam in school."
Harry rolled his eyes at Michael's admission.
"'Kay so I was trustworthy when I told Ron I'd save his sister last year and I did. And I suppose I wasn't very trustworthy when I killed Lockhart."
Michael didn't frown, but he struggled to maintain his patient affect. Severus had told him over the summer of Harry's self defense against a predator during a sexual assault. Was this the Lockhart Harry referred to?
"Who is Lockhart?" he asked.
"Teacher from school last year," Harry said with a sharp smile. "Cut his throat open with a sword, didn't I? Then I buried him under a bunch of boulders."
H shows no hesitation at admitting to violence or murder- unsure if truth or lies.
"And nobody at your school noticed that a teacher went missing?"
"Course they did, they're stupid not blind," Harry scoffed. "Told 'em the basilisk killed him and since I'm the only one that can open the chamber they couldn't go check, could they?"
Death of teacher likely real- H description involving fantasy elements separates his from the action.
"What's a basilisk?" Michael asked, now hearing the odd term for a second time.
"Giant snake," Harry said easily. "Can kill you with a single look. I killed it with a sword."
H has minimal signs of psychosis- fantasy stories more likely to be attempts to avoid discussing reality.
Michael hummed noncommittally at Harry's story. He wouldn't refute his claims unless pressed for a response.
"Let's go back to when you said you saved Ron's sister, what happened?"
Harry smiled again, seemingly seeing through Michael's change in topics.
"Ginny was in the Chamber, wasn't she? She was possessed by the Dark Lord and using the basilisk to attack students. Dumbledore expelled me for it but then Snape helped me get back in the school. The Dark Lord got sick of using Ginny and took her in the Chamber to steal her soul so he could come back to life. So I went down there and Ron thought I wouldn't save her since I don't like her, but I did. Killed the basilisk, killed the ghost Dark Lord, and saved her life."
Michael glanced at the clock and was subconsciously relieved to see that a little over half of Harry's allotted hour had passed.
"So, you went to save Ron's sister, proving you are trustworthy, but along the way you killed your teacher?" he asked.
"Yep."
Truth mixed with lies- does H believe or just creating story to waste time?
"That sounds like a busy day," Michael said. "How did you feel when you proved to Ron that he could trust you when you said you'd save his sister?"
Harry shrugged, "Fine. Told him he owes me another favor now."
"Do you enjoy having him owe you favors?"
Harry huffed as he crossed his arms again.
"Course, why wouldn't I? Got a map off Fred and George for a favor, didn't I? I was gonna use it to find Black, but now there's loads more interesting things I can use it for."
H enjoys holding power over others.
"Why were you going to find your godfather?"
"Cause I was gonna kill him," Harry said baldly.
"Because you felt as though he abandoned you as a baby?"
"He fuckin' did abandon me, I didn't 'feel' anything," Harry said hotly.
"Okay," Michael said soothingly. "I understand why you would feel that way. Do you think it would help if you told him how you felt instead of just threatening to hurt him?"
"Sure," Harry laughed, a joyless and cold sound. "'Hey Sirius, it really hurt my feelings when you left me to go on a murder spree.'" Harry laughed again before rolling his eyes. "I don't think so."
"Why not?"
"Because it's stupid," Harry said. "Makes me sound weak."
H hides vulnerability behind anger/violence.
"Is it weakness to share your feelings with others?" Michael asked.
"Having feelings is a weakness," Harry said.
"I think having and showing our feelings can be an incredible strength."
"You'd be dead in a week if you lived on the streets," Harry said flatly.
"Not like you though, right?" Michael said casually. "You lasted years, because you're strong and smart, right?"
"Exactly," Harry said, a satisfied gleam appearing in his eyes.
H shows pride in strength and survival, strong sense of resilience and self-reliance.
Michael checked the time and saw they had ten minutes remaining. He decided to use this time for an activity he uses for all his patients with suicidal thoughts or tendencies.
"Harry our session for today is almost over," he said. "I'd like you to do something for me if you would, before our time is up."
Harry quirked one eyebrow in a silent gesture to elaborate.
"Could you tell me five things in your life that make you happy?"
"Snape says none of my memories are 'truly happy'," Harry said with a scowl. "So probably not."
Michael made a quick note of the odd comment supposedly from Harry's guardian.
"You misunderstand," he said kindly. "Not five memories of times you were happy, but five things in your life right now that bring you happiness."
"Oh." Harry blinked before furrowing his brows down as he thought. "Well, Sevvie makes me happy. Luna and Susan do too, do they count as two things?"
"Let's count friends as one thing," Michael said. "So your pet owl and your friends are two things, can you think of three more?"
"Flying, magic, and... and... I dunno. Hot chocolate, maybe?"
Michael felt a stab of disappointment at Harry's continued inclusion of fantasy elements brought back in to the conversation. He didn't have high hopes that Harry would take therapy seriously. Most people who are being pushed in to it rarely do after all. But it was still tiring to spend time with a client so willfully dedicated to avoiding reality.
H states pet and friends bring joy. Also 'flying' and 'magic'. Cocoa added as afterthought.
"So what I would like you to do is between now and the next time I see you, any time you feel sad or upset, I'd like you to reach out to your friends or play with your pet, or even get a drink of hot chocolate, okay?"
"But don't go flying?" Harry asked with a small smirk playing on his lips.
Michael smiled indulgently.
"I think it would be better to focus on your friends," he said.
Harry got to his feet as the timer went off and gave Michael a look of enormous amusement.
"You're not so bad," he said. "I told Snape I could tell you anything I wanted, he said to 'watch myself before I end up in Azkaban.'"
"I'm glad you approve," Michael said in response to the nonsensical comment. "And you can of course tell me anything, okay?"
"'Kay," Harry said. "See ya."
After Harry left the office Michael released a breath and took a few minutes to sit back and contemplate the session.
He transferred his quickly jotted notes in to more elaborated ones based on the conversation and observed nonverbal cues.
Michael scribbled a final note on Harry's chart before deciding to call it an early day and go to the pub for a drink.
Due to his indifference to violence or loss of life- H will likely be a prime candidate for a psychopathy diagnosis at 18.