Chapter 32: Alone in the House
I stayed sitting on the edge of Ava's bed much longer than I intended.
My elbows rested on my knees and my hands were clasped together as I stared at the wooden floor as if I might find some kind of answer there. My heart was no longer beating as hard, but the guilt was still there, heavy, settled in my chest. Every time I closed my eyes I saw fragments of the morning: the oil shining on my mother's breasts, Camila's tan line, Maya's body in that black underwear and the way she had tried to cover herself without fully succeeding.
'Spying again…' I thought bitterly. 'I've been here less than two days and I've already lost count of how many times I've acted like a degenerate.'
I tried to focus on my breathing. I wanted my body to calm down once and for all. The residual arousal was still present, dull, like an annoying reminder of how little control I had been having since I returned.
From the bathroom came the sounds of the shower turning off. Then the movement of drawers, the rustle of clothes, and bare footsteps. Maya was getting ready to leave.
I ran my hands over my face and stood up. I didn't want her to find me in another strange situation. I stepped out into the hallway just as she was closing the door to her room.
She was already dressed.
She was wearing a dark short-sleeved blouse and fitted pants that, even though they were work clothes, clearly outlined the curve of her hips and the volume of her ass. Her hair, still a little damp, fell loose over her shoulders. When she saw me, she paused for a second and gave me a calm smile, with no obvious trace of the earlier discomfort.
"I'm leaving now," she said naturally. "I have to get there early."
"Alright," I replied, trying to make my voice sound normal. "Have a good day."
Maya looked at me a moment longer, as if evaluating whether I was okay. Then she nodded.
"I don't know what time I'll be back. If you need anything, there's food in the kitchen. And… try not to stay locked up all day."
"I won't."
She slung her bag over her shoulder and walked past me. The clean scent of her soap reached me for a second. I heard the front door open and close. The sound of a car engine faded shortly after.
The house was left in complete silence.
I walked to the living room and dropped onto the sofa. The silence felt different now. Denser. Without Maya, without anyone else, the thoughts came back with more force. Everything that had happened since I arrived piled up without order: the reunion with my sisters, the shower with Ava, Sophia's boyfriend, my mother's body, Camila washing clothes without knowing I was watching her…
I ran a hand through my hair.
I couldn't stay sitting there reliving every detail. The house felt both too big and too heavy at the same time. I needed to get out. I needed to do something that wasn't hiding or spying.
That was when I remembered the promise I had made to myself when I walked away from Camila's backyard.
Go back. But this time properly. Knocking on the door. Like a normal person.
I stood up from the sofa.
I didn't have a clear plan of what I was going to say to her. I only knew that I didn't want the only memory of her after eleven years to be me hiding among the trees watching her half-naked.
I left the house and closed the door behind me.
The heat outside hit me immediately, but this time I didn't care. I started walking toward the outskirts of the town, along the same dirt path I had taken hours earlier, my heart racing again… only this time for a different reason.
End of Chapter 32