Within Squad 12, Kurotsuchi Mayuri headed straight for the captain's office after arriving at the Department of Research and Development. What interesting things should he do today?
After taking just two steps, his attention was drawn to a girl not far away, looking around nervously with short black hair that flipped up at the ends. Since when did such a foolish-looking person appear in his squad?!
"You..."
"G-Good morning, Captain Kurotsuchi! I am Squad 13 member Kuchiki Rukia!" Seeing Mayuri walking toward her, Rukia hurriedly bowed in greeting. Out of all the captains, the one standing before her was the one she feared the most.
"Squad 13? If you have business, spit it out quickly. Don't waste my time!" Mayuri said impatiently. Squad 13 and Squad 12 did indeed have some official dealings.
It was just that he didn't particularly like the people from Squad 13. That Lieutenant Shiba Kaien always looked like an idiot, and this Kuchiki Rukia was exactly the same. Did Squad 13 mass-produce fools?
"I, I came..." Kuchiki Rukia fidgeted, not knowing how to answer. As Mayuri's orderly black-and-white painted face drew closer and closer, she simply squeezed her eyes shut and shouted, "Mr. Chōzuka is waiting for you inside!"
Now it was Mayuri's turn to be stunned. The smile on his face gradually vanished, and his eyes subconsciously shifted toward his own captain's office. He asked uncertainly, "Inside? Inside where?!"
Rukia didn't answer, simply raising her hand to point at the captain's office. Mayuri stared at the finger that appeared in his line of sight, massaging his temples as he walked toward his office. *Why is this menace here again!*
"One thousand eight hundred and one, one thousand eight hundred and two, one thousand eight hundred..."
The moment he opened the door, Mayuri heard that familiar, headache-inducing voice. When he saw exactly what Kōe was doing, his headache only worsened...
"What are you doing?"
"You're here, Mayuri!" Kōe's face flashed by in an instant as the swivel chair spun, but he soon faced the door again and continued, "And Nemu, you're looking even prettier today!"
"What am I doing right now?"
"I'm helping you... test the durability of your chair... It's been half an hour... and it hasn't made a single squeak..."
He spun four times while stuttering out that single sentence. Finally unable to bear it any longer, Mayuri stepped forward and grabbed the back of the chair, forcing this human spinning top to a halt.
"The chair's quality is excellent, you don't have to worry at all, Mayuri." Kōe said, his expression turning a bit strange. He pressed his right hand against his chest and explained, "Also, I'm not dizzy at all, I just feel a little like throwing up..."
"If you throw up, I will rip your stomach out along with your intestines." As Mayuri spoke, he 'friendly' invited Kōe out of his chair, sat down himself, and asked, "Did you run all the way over here just to be a swivel chair quality inspector?"
"If such a position exists, that would be wonderful. Working with Captain Kurotsuchi would definitely be interesting," Kōe replied with a smile. Mayuri rolled his eyes. He wouldn't and couldn't believe such nonsense, because if you joked around with the man standing before him, that joke was very likely to become reality in the end.
"If you have business, spit it out quickly. I don't have much time." Mayuri cut straight to the chase. When it came to idle chatter, Kōe was a professional. If left unchecked, the man could probably talk his ear off for a whole year.
"I was just bored, so I came to brainstorm with you."
"Nemu, see our guest out!"
"Wait, wait, wait! Why can't you take a joke?"
Kōe raised his hands with an apologetic smile, then stepped forward. With a serious expression, he leaned in close to Mayuri's ear and began whispering, as if the two were discussing some unspeakable secret.
However, Mayuri's expression shifted rapidly. First, he was expressionless, then his eyes suddenly widened. His gaze swept over Kōe repeatedly before finally locking onto the man's face. His eyes held a rare trace of pity, looking at him as if he were caring for a mentally impaired patient.
"I never expected you to turn out like this," Mayuri shook his head, his tone carrying a hint of mockery. Kōe refused to show weakness; his gaze drifted toward Nemu at the door as he mumbled indistinctly, "You're not so bad yourself, you daughter-obsessed freak."
"Shut up!" Mayuri swore to himself that if he could actually beat Kōe in a fight, he would absolutely tear that mouth right off his face. "I agree to it. If you have no other business, get the hell out!"
"Do it right now."
"Fine! Go outside and find Akon, and don't let me see your face again!"
"No, I want you to do it yourself." Kōe glanced at Kurotsuchi Nemu again and said faintly, "I want the highest standard."
Mayuri was so angry he actually laughed. What did he mean by the highest standard? Wasn't he just asking him to use the same technology used to create Nemu?! As if whatever he wanted was worthy of that!
"And if I refuse?" Mayuri leaned back in his chair, bringing his hands together and lightly tapping his fingertips against the back of his hands. He was making it clear he wouldn't agree. What could a mere Shin'ō Academy instructor do to a captain like him?
"The Shin'ō Academy is on vacation. Do you want to recommend a good vacation spot for me?" Mayuri's hand movements suddenly paused at Kōe's words. At the same time, a hand patted his shoulder, and Kōe's voice rang in his ear once more. "Shin'ō Academy Special Consultant for Spiritual Tools, Kurotsuchi Mayuri."
The Shin'ō Academy Special Consultant for Spiritual Tools, also known as the Director of Teaching Spiritual Tool Supplies, was Mayuri's third official title after Captain of Squad 12 and President of the Department of Research and Development. It was personally certified by the Head Captain.
It had been almost a year, and he had already provided nearly a hundred types of spiritual tools based on Kōe's requests, all for the Academy's daily teaching activities.
Because of this, Kōe's frequent visits to Squad 12 had become the norm. The two of them had cobbled together quite a few bizarre and eccentric gadgets, causing the Academy's students untold suffering.
And now, the Shin'ō Academy was on vacation. Just thinking about what kind of amusement a bored Kōe would seek out during this time...
Mayuri truly couldn't comprehend problems using Kōe's logic—nor was it a way any normal human should think. He only knew that if he didn't give the man something to do, he wouldn't have a moment of peace himself.
"No problem. I will make it for you right now!" Mayuri gritted his teeth, forcing the words out one by one. Kōe nudged Mayuri's arm and continued asking, "How long will it take?"
"Very fast, so stop talking to me!"
After saying that, Mayuri walked over to his workbench. This was a tremendous humiliation. Were all the people acquainted with Urahara Kisuke this obnoxious? No, Urahara Kisuke wasn't as annoying as this guy, so the root of the problem still lay with this man himself!
Though his thoughts were flying wildly, Mayuri's hand movements weren't affected in the slightest. Better a short pain than a long one, and the shorter the better! What highest standard? Would he even be able to tell if the highest standard was used? He would process it all at the lowest possible standard!
Yet, whether it was Urahara or Kōe, even though Mayuri claimed to despise them, deep down he held the highest level of acknowledgment for them. Otherwise, he would never have provided Kōe with any personal assistance.
This man would never be content just hiding away in the Shin'ō Academy amusing himself. But what exactly did he want to do with those things? He didn't know, but it was bound to be something interesting.
Mayuri was looking forward to it. Perhaps the Seireitei would undergo a change in the near future. Of course, it was also possible that Shihouin Kōe would undergo a change—into a test subject in his own hands.
Was there anything more interesting than that? Perhaps there was. If Urahara Kisuke also appeared on his operating table alongside him, that would be absolutely perfect, heh heh...
However, that kind of joy would be limited. So, it was best if those two stayed alive—at least, they needed to die after he did.