{FAMRUEL}
"Mom. What are you looking at?" I turned to my daughter and smiled, holding a torn picture.
"This picture is torn, Mom. What else can you see in it?" While caressing it with my wrinkled thumb, I responded gently. "Though it's torn, it holds memories, Daughter."
My daughter, puzzled, walked towards my legs and crouched, holding my hands. Took over the torn picture. With wrinkled brows, she questioned. "What memory, Mom? I can only see your face in it. How did the other person's face get torn up?"
"That's a long story, Daughter." Saying, I looked at the distant shading sky with my hands behind my back and smiled short. The memories, huh? They aren't just memories, they are parts of my body that I'm gonna hold with me until my last breath. Even at death, she would be my 7 minutes.
"Mamma! Mamma! I'm home."
"Haru. I'm in Grandma's room!"
"Mamma! Granny!" My daughter held her son in her warm arms and gave a pretty smooch on his chubby-blush cheek. He smiled bright and embraced his Mom. I smiled, seeing how beautiful my daughter's family is. Simple and prestigious with unique love. I never believed that the man she loved could bring a bunch of bliss for her.
Now I believe it.
Should I kick the bucket now? Or should I wait for that woman who once promised to be back on her 45th birthday?
Hmm.
"Granny~ How are you ~?"
"I'm doing good, sweetie. How about you?"
"Fit and healthy, Granny."
I smiled and caressed his hair. "Mom, you take a nap. I'll feed Haru." I handed over my grandson and replied, "Sure, Daughter." And then looked at Haru and said, "Be good and listen to your Mamma. OK, dear."
"Ok, Granny."
Slowly the lights of my room went blind.
I can never sleep like this, locking my eyes and
keep dreaming about someone who never comes.
I knew it's bitter but love made me blind.
I can't resist these memories, she left me with.
Just like a secret diary,
she never had it in actual
but made me one.
Who listens to her without any complaints.
They called me "Love" when I wasn't able to carry my broken heart.
Learned me with her eyes.
Read me with her heart.
Held me with her warm palms.
Embraced me through her bones.
The purest she is.
The more she blushes the more she polishes my smile.
Brings me to ease.
Because the purest she is.
...…
[When Flashback Hits]
"Hey, Savy." I greeted my roommate as I laid my bag on the edge of my bed. "Sam, Could you please help me with this?" She noted while passing my tablet to me. A website opened flashing straight at my face, making me out of ease in facing. At least, she would've turned down the brightness.
"See here." She pointed her index finger at the link being popped up in green light. I blinked twice while looking blankly at her. "What else, Savy? Do you want me to check this link for you?" She abruptly smiled bright, sending a sharp shrill through my spine covering an awkward position in me. I sighed sharply and gave a side-eye to Savy.
Yet, she continued to smile. "Could you please stop giving me a close-up ad, first?" I said sarcastically with a bitter, narrowed smile. "Ah! Don't say that, no?!" She hit on my chest with her tiny, rough hands. Even though I popped up into a fake smile, I did.
"Cough! Cough!" Startled and puzzled, I turned around wide-eyed. I didn't expect someone new to this congested block. All around this atmosphere, it's barely possible to figure out some new faces yielding for guidance.
But for that figure, this is a new path that she might have not imagined to be on. With her pleading red puffy eyes, she looked through my soul, breaking my bones out of pity. Sorrow tearing over her soft skin. Hands dipped out wet, shivering harder like a wet cat. Is she alright? Her eyes pleaded enough that they got void now. Her muscles have gotten numb, as if she had it to the very end. As if she couldn't have it anymore. Seems enough…, huh?
"Are you new here?" Out of pain, she nodded briefly. I wet my lips not knowing what to do. She didn't say anything further so I turned my attention towards Savy and gave a raised brow gesture. She just shrugged her shoulders, lining her lips. I immediately stood up, handing over my tab to Savy, holding a glass of water.
"Drink some." She glanced at me with her gloomy eyes. I… can't bear if someone pleads in front of me even though I'm not the reason to be blamed. A colleen with no experience of being alone might end up cutting her heart out of sorrow.
She sniffed and wiped off her tears. "Why are you crying? Is there anything bothering you?" She stroked her head sideways. "It's alright if you don't want to share. At least tell me your name?" She looked at me with her cute eyes. Like a baby girl. Sniffed and whipped off her tears again, responding, "...Pas…Pasqualina."
"Pasqualina? Never heard yet unique." I smiled but she just nodded her head briefly. Seems like an introvert couldn't actually deal with another introvert. Ha…? It beats me.
"Well, do you have any nicknames? I usually forget actual names."
"Perl…." Her whisper is out of whisper, man!! Did she even say a word? Or am I deaf? "Sorry? Come again?"
"Perl!" She said firmly, looking into my eyes. I couldn't resist her abrupt eye contact. My mouth opened in awe with her pitch voice. It was as sharp as a knife nonetheless doesn't slice me into layouts. What a tune!
"I…I got it. Perl, right?" She said… Literally NOTHING! The silence between us was more awkward than me standing in the crowd playing a broken guitar! I turned my back. Wasn't able to face her eyes with numerous queries, like it's been so long for her. The day, without anyone to call her own.
I greeted with courage to turn around once but abruptly got awestruck, figuring out her hand being halted before sensing me. She was trying to break the silence either way. I smiled knowing that she won't smile back at me.
"I'm sorry…" She said, lowering her head.
"It's OK, Perl." I responded with a genuine smile and continued, "Why don't we have a walk around? It might settle your mood at ease." She nodded.
Walking along the dark spots of the corridor.
I found her,
being someone simple and beautiful.
The colors of my world shined bright,
through her free hair being washed up,
in the fragrance of the cold wind.
But tonight,
I encountered someone more -
Beautiful and prestigious.
Her skin shined beneath the nightfall,
her eyes twinkled and when she was pulling her hand backwards –
There we met.
Met in a whole different perspective.
Unaware of her beauty…
Is this my fall?
Did I choose her?