An Event of One Morning
It was just another ordinary weekday, with nothing particularly noteworthy happening.
I suddenly woke up and looked at my alarm clock, which was showing a time about two hours before the time I had set it for.
I woke up at a strange time, and just as I was thinking I might be able to go back to sleep, I felt something was off.
The room is brighter than usual.
Feeling uneasy, I vaguely glanced at the clock in a drowsy state, and then I realized.
The clock has stopped...
"Wait, what time is it?!"
I hurriedly took out my phone and checked the time.
The time displayed there was several tens of minutes past the set time.
On the other hand, I should probably be relieved that it only took a few tens of minutes, but it significantly reduced the time I spend making lunch.
I might not make it in time, but I quickly jump up and run down the stairs.
I burst into the kitchen and there was Elsie.
"good morning!
Oh? You're late today."
"Yeah, my alarm clock had stopped without me realizing it."
"That's terrible."
But don't worry! I've already made today's lunch!!
"Oh, really? Thanks!"
And then, after saying thank you, I suddenly started to think.
I feel like I've forgotten something, something important.
Elsie, lunch, cooking...
...a.
"Hehehe, it's been a while since I've cooked! I'm really proud of today's bento box!"
Look, see that!"
Elsie is pointing to the location where the lunchbox is... sorry, let me correct myself. The lunchbox is pointing to the location.
Where the finger was pointing, there was indeed something that could be described as a lunchbox.
But what I'm even more curious about is...
...Numerous tentacle-like and eyeball-like things were sticking out of that lunchbox, wriggling and squirming eerily.
That's right, Elsie's cooking is based on techniques from the demon world. The ingredients she uses are also from the demon world.
Previously, when Keima was made to eat Elsie's cooking and asked for his opinion, he said, "It's true that it was about twice as delicious as the fish here, but it's not something a human could eat."
Or rather, is that even food? It's not like it's convulsing after death or anything, it's just alive and moving normally, right?
I can't help but feel that there might be cultures somewhere on Earth where people eat living creatures, and I'm sure such cases definitely exist in the natural world.
But that monster, which looks like something out of the Cthulhu Mythos or something, clearly looks like a predator, and besides, I'm just a Japanese person. We don't have a culture of eating living animals (?).
...Wait a minute. If you made a bento box, does that mean...
"Oh, of course, I'll make one for the princess too..."
"Oh, look at the time!"
It's early today, so I need to hurry and get ready!!
See you then!!!
I hurried out of the kitchen and ran up the stairs back to my room before Elsie could pull out something indescribable.
Oh, that was close. I feel bad for Elsie, but I can't take a lunchbox monster like that to work...
I hurriedly got ready to go out, cast an illusion spell, and just as I was about to leave the house, I realized I hadn't eaten breakfast.
...Oh well. I'll just have to make do with something from the convenience store today.
There are no convenience stores on the way from this house to the office, so I stop by a convenience store a little further away in the opposite direction from the office.
I think I can manage lunch somehow, so I'll just need to prepare breakfast.
After buying something suitable, I retraced my steps and headed back to the office.
On the way, I thought I heard a scream as I passed Keima's house, but I pretended not to hear it.
I'm sorry, Keima. Right now, there are more important things to do than helping you. You'll have to figure it out on your own.
I believe Keima will be able to do something about it!
...No, no, if things continue like this, Keima-kun won't get breakfast. I think he'll be fine with lunch since there's the school cafeteria or something.
Keima sometimes says things like, "Eating is too much trouble. I can get all my nutrients from games!" but I think it's really bad if he doesn't eat anything at all.
Oh well. I'll leave some of my breakfast outside the front door.
Um... "Sorry Keima. I'll leave breakfast I bought at the convenience store in front of your door, so please manage with that," sent.
...I wonder if my breakfast will be enough...?
Later, during my lunch break, I checked my phone and saw a reply from Keima.
"Thanks for breakfast."
The portion seemed small, but maybe it was divided from one serving?
If that's the case, I'm sorry."
It's totally obvious, isn't it? Though, that's typical of Keima.
...I'll make sure to apologize properly later for abandoning them.
Culture gap
On the way home today, Elsie came crying to me.
"Princess! God was terrible today!!"
"Ah... yeah. I see..."
They almost certainly said something about the cooking.
Keima is merciless when it comes to things like that. He would almost never sugarcoat things or be considerate of the other person's feelings, except when he's trying to win over a girl.
However, I don't think there's any need to sugarcoat this particular case.
"Ugh, how can I get them to accept my lunch with the same joy as the princess?"
"Huh? Well... I guess we just need to avoid using ingredients from hell, right?"
I think there are several problems with Elsie's cooking, but I feel like if those were fixed, most of the problems would be solved.
Apparently it's supposed to be tasty, so if you make it with normal ingredients, they'll probably accept it, right?
"Ingredients from hell, you say?"
"Yeah"
"But, I only know ingredients from hell."
"..."
Oh, I see. That makes sense.
Even I only know the ingredients commonly used in Japan. It's no wonder Elsie doesn't know the ingredients here.
"...Oh, that's right! Princess! I've got a great idea!!"
"Well, I suppose I should ask, just in case?"
"Princess! Please teach me how to cook!!"
I was a little surprised because it was a surprisingly sensible opinion from Elsie.
No, no, even Elsie could easily figure that out. After all, she's supposedly lived for over 300 years.
Let's put aside the discussion about how clumsy Elsie is for now.
If you follow the recipe properly when cooking at home, you shouldn't end up with something that dangerous. At most, you might get a potato sprout mixed in.
If I had properly taught them how to cook in the human world, something like this morning wouldn't have happened.
...Are you sure it'll be alright? Even if I teach Elsie properly, I have a feeling she'll mess something up...
...There's no point in worrying about it now, so let's just assume everything will be alright.
"I don't mind teaching, but... I don't have much time, so maybe it'll be in the morning."
"That's all I need! Thank you!!"
I could probably explain what ingredients are in my refrigerator while I'm making lunch.
"Well then, let's head home first."
"Yes!"
...Next day morning...
"Alright! Let's get started with enthusiasm!"
"Yeah. Let's do our best."
I have plenty of motivation, though...
Actually, maybe the problem is precisely because they're motivated.
"Okay, let's start by making something simple like an omelet."
"A whole roasted egg?"
Nehan quail eggs, or frilled crest eggs... Oh, mandragon eggs are delicious too!
"Elsie? No ingredients from hell, okay?"
"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. I just..."
I wonder if everything will be alright like this?
I talked to Keima last night, but...
The hellish meal I was forced to eat at lunchtime tasted good, but after a while, I started experiencing physical problems.
Last time I had sudden diarrhea, and this time I feel lethargic and strange spots have started appearing all over my body.
If it had only been the first dish, it might have been a coincidence that it didn't agree with his body, but from this incident, it's safe to assume that the ingredients from hell are almost certainly toxic to humans.
Even if there were something non-toxic, I'm not going to eat it anymore.
That's what they said.
You must never let them use ingredients from hell.
So, you ended up eating it after all. I'm really sorry for abandoning you.
Now that we've checked the prohibited items, let's continue cooking.
I took the eggs out of the refrigerator and showed them to Elsie.
"Look, this is a typical 'egg' used in the human world."
"Is this an egg? It looks similar, but it's quite small. What kind of egg is it?"
"Huh? But it's a chicken egg..."
"A chicken? What kind of creature is that?"
It's a chicken, but...how do I explain it?
Its body is white, it's about that size, it has a red crest, and it's a bird but it can't fly...
...Okay, I don't need to explain. It's not directly related to cooking, and I don't have the time.
"You can look up what kind of creature it is later on your own."
Anyway, I'm going to use these eggs. Even at the supermarket, if I just ask, "Do you have eggs?", they'll know I'm talking about these."
"Is there only one type of egg in the human world?"
"That's not what I meant; I was just saying that this is the one that's commonly used..."
Anyway, let's move on to the next one!
Cultural differences are terrifying.
If you explain one thing, two or three questions will likely arise.
"Yes, once you know which eggs to use, the rest is a breeze!"
I'll try cooking it!
"Yes, do your best."
As I watched, Elsie raised the frying pan.
Then, place the egg on the frying pan and turn on the heat.
...wait a minute?
Elsie places the eggs on the frying pan and turns it on the heat.
...without even cracking the shell.
"Stop! Elsie, stop!!"
"Huh? Was there something strange?"
"Don't just cook the eggs as they are; crack them first before using them!"
"Huh? But if you crack it open before cooking, won't you get attacked by the 'chicken' inside?"
"You won't get attacked! Those are unfertilized eggs! Besides, chickens aren't that dangerous creatures!"
"So, even if you break the eggshell, you won't get attacked?! Human eggs are amazing!!"
If you break the eggs of creatures from hell, will you be attacked without exception...?
Is there no such concept as an unfertilized egg?
There are many things I'm curious about, but they don't directly affect the cooking (ry
"Okay, let's try again... and crack an egg."
"Yes! Leave it to me!"
I'm also good at cracking eggs!
I'll make sure to completely smash the shells!!
"No way! That's not something I'm good at!!"
I guess that's normal in hell...
...If you really crush it into tiny pieces and process it carefully so that the fragments don't injure your throat or anything, maybe that would actually be more nutritionally balanced?
No, no, this idea is dangerous. If I were brainwashed, Keima would be mentally destroyed.
"And there you have it, finished!"
"Wow! Princess, you're amazing!!"
Initially, the plan was for Elsie to cook while I pointed out any mistakes, but she frequently does things that are completely out of the question by human standards, so there's no way we can take our time like that.
So, in the end, I decided to switch to a plan where I would demonstrate it myself.
I never imagined that something as simple as a rolled omelet could make such a difference... Hell is a terrifying place.
At this point, it almost seems like a miracle that Elsie's first dish was pasta, even if only in appearance.
"Have you memorized the procedure?"
"It's perfect!!"
"Well, I'd like to say, 'Go ahead and try it...' but I have to go now, so you'll have to figure it out on your own."
"What? Already? That's earlier than usual."
"Yeah, I have something I need to do."
I was called into the office early, so I can't help it.
I'd really like to give more instruction, but I guess I can do it tomorrow.
"Well then, I'm off."
"Yes! Have a good day!!"
I cast an illusion spell before leaving the house.
I've been doing this all the time lately, but if I do it too often and people notice, they might think, "There are two Elsies!"
Should I do something about it soon? Like being able to disguise myself as something else, or getting the ability to become invisible.
I'll try talking to them about it next time.
"Alright, I'll do my best! I'll make some delicious food and get praised by God!"
First, I put the contents of the egg into the frying pan... Huh?
Advantages of the Little Devil
Yesterday was the worst day.
When I woke up in the morning, I was attacked by something that looked like an indescribable lunchbox.
I had a light breakfast, so I spent the morning hungry.
English teacher Kodama made an unreasonable accusation against me.
During the day, I was forced to eat something indescribable,
As expected, something went wrong with my body and I became completely worn out.
I made it home feeling like I was going to die.
I hope today is at least a good day.
Could that humble wish have been the trigger for this? Suddenly, an explosion echoed from the floor below.
It's undoubtedly Elsie's doing.
I considered pretending I hadn't heard anything and going back to sleep, but it's impossible to leave that bug-ridden Elsie alone any longer.
I'm very reluctant to do this, but it would be best to deal with it quickly before the damage spreads.
The kitchen was in a terrible state.
It's as if a soot bomb had been detonated; the sink and the surrounding area are covered in something dark.
A pale blue flame is rising from a part of the black object. It doesn't seem to be spreading, so it doesn't look like an ordinary flame.
The door to the cafe is broken. It looks as if some ferocious creature forcibly smashed through it from this side.
And there, Elsie stands with tears in her eyes, holding what appears to be a frying pan.
I heard an explosion and thought walls and other things had been destroyed, but all I can see is one door and one frying pan broken. The damage was less than I expected.
Even so, it's a pretty horrible incident for something that happened within a family.
"Ugh... I'm sorry God. It seems I failed..."
"Seriously, how did things get this bad... no, never mind."
I don't think I'll understand it even if you explain it to me verbally.
"First, let's sort out the situation."
"So what you were doing was...cooking...is that right?"
"Yes... I did my best while being taught by the princess..."
"To Nakagawa?"
"yes..."
"I can't see him. Has he already left?"
"yes..."
It's possible that Nakagawa's teaching methods were disastrous, but... that's probably not the case.
I taught her as much as I could during my free time in the morning, and then Elsie must have messed something up after I left.
Despite the explosion, Mom hasn't come downstairs. I don't know why, but that's convenient. I'll clean it up before she wakes up.
How should I fix the door? Do I have any suitable boards or anything? If not, I guess I'll just have to cover it with cardboard and duct tape.
Can Elsie's broom sweep away the sooty black stuff? How do we deal with the mysterious blue flames?
The frying pan... I can do that later.
"Ugh. Let's get this done quickly."
"..."
"...Hey, Elsie?"
"Yes! Wh, what is it?"
"...Let's clean this up.
"Y-yes. That's right..."
Elsie shakily stood up and picked up her favorite broom.
And then slowly...
"Hold on a second!! It's not at maximum output like last time, is it?"
"Huh? O-Of course... Ah."
"...Okay, we can clean up later."
"Sit down in that chair for now."
"Huh? But..."
"Just sit down."
"Y-yes!"
Elsie is not feeling well.
If we start cleaning up now, the damage will only get worse.
I'm a dating sim gamer, not a counselor, but I guess I have no choice.
I sat down in the chair opposite Elsie and asked the question.
"Did your cooking failure really hurt you that much?"
"...yes"
"...I had a question, though. Was your cooking generally accepted in Hell?"
"Yes! Everyone said it was delicious!"
"No one got sick, even like a god!"
"I see. It might be edible for demons, but it probably doesn't agree with the human body."
"Yes. So I consulted with the princess, and she taught me about ingredients from the human world."
But..."
"...For some reason, it ended up like this."
"yes..."
Putting all the information together, Elsie's emotional vulnerability is... no, no, that's not it. This isn't a walkthrough.
However, in terms of the problem itself, it seems to be in a fairly straightforward place.
"Elsie, don't be so obsessed with cooking."
"Huh?"
"Your cooking might be something to be proud of in hell, but frankly speaking, it's useless in the human world."
"Ugh! That's so mean, God!!"
"..."
When Elsie silently turned her gaze to the mess in the kitchen, she became quiet.
"I'm so sorry..."
"It's good that you understand."
Let me ask you another question. Is cooking the only thing you can be proud of?
"...it is..."
"For example, cleaning. My mom is always happy when I do it."
"Y-yes! I'm good at cleaning!!"
"Anything else... let's see."
He's Nakagawa's stand-in. He seems to be handling it without much trouble."
Apparently, there were some mistakes, like tripping on the small stage, but overall, they managed to pull it off without any major problems.
In fact, it seems that these kinds of mistakes, which aren't fatal but stand out in a good way, have slightly increased their popularity.
Nakagawa said this with a somewhat complicated expression on his face.
"That's true, but... anyone can imitate someone else..."
"No, imitating an idol almost perfectly is quite something, isn't it? At least I could never do it."
"Huh? Really?"
"Oh, that's right."
To sum it up, my conclusion is, "Focus on your strengths other than cooking."
"...Yes, I understand!"
I'll do my best!!
"Okay. Good luck."
"Yes!!"
So, you've finally recovered.
I wish this would be the end of him for cooking altogether... but I don't think he'll actually do it.
Let's have Nakagawa take care of that for now.
Okay, so let's have them clean off the soot first, and then we'll just have to deal with the rest somehow.
Let's quickly clean up and play some games. What we need is...
BOOM
"...Hey"
"Oh, the power was at maximum..."
"You bug-wielding idiot! No matter what you do, you always make mistakes!"
"I'm so sorry!!"