ah...
It's a dream I've been having a lot lately.
I've seen it several times,
A dream that you'll forget soon...
A dark space.
In front of us was a huge screen with a square frame.
Dust particles flickered and reflected the faintly leaking light, darting across my field of vision.
movie theatre....
This appears to be a movie theater.
I leaned back in one of the chairs lined up, staring blankly at the screen...
movie.
I'm watching a movie.
On the screen, the fabricated drama unfolded one after another.
A handsome actor and a beautiful woman were kissing.
A car chase through the city leads to a rollover and an explosion.
Monsters run rampant, and people jump from skyscrapers.
It's like an action movie, a panic horror movie, and a family movie all rolled into one...
Anyway, that's the kind of movie I'm watching.
That makes sense.
Cross your arms.
I tried resting my chin on my hand.
I frowned and stared intently at the screen.
No.
It just doesn't stick in my mind.
It goes straight through my brain as soon as I see it.
I wonder why.
It's not that it's boring.
I'm not sleepy.
But it doesn't stick in my memory.
"The mental function of remembering consists of four processes."
A voice came from inside the screen.
There was a man there.
A businessman-like man was standing on the screen.
He breaks the fourth wall and turns to face the audience.
She starts talking, looking straight at me.
"Memory consists of four processes: encoding, retention, retrieval, and recognition. Let me explain each of them in order—"
"Encoding" is the process of imprinting the impressions of things seen and heard into one's memory.
"Preservation" is the process of saving that impression so that it doesn't fade away.
"Replay" is the process of bringing back a saved impression to one's consciousness.
"Recognition" is the process of confirming that the recalled memory or impression is identical to the one that was originally encoded.
"Therefore, you are currently in a state where you cannot maintain it."
The scene on the screen changes.
A high school girl appears.
cute.
A beauty rarely seen even in the city.
It's as if drops of light are spilling from her flowing black hair.
But her expression is rigid. The corners of her eyes remain still, and the muscles in her cheeks are fixed.
His unfriendly demeanor becomes more apparent each time the other actors perform.
"There's nothing we can do about it."
A classmate sitting next to me chimed in.
Let's see, this one is... Kitagawa, I think.
"Those idol actors are instructed by their producers to never change their duck face."
"A duck face?"
"Yeah. It's not that these guys can't act. It's that they're not allowed to act."
"Why can't I act?"
"That's because creating a beautiful image for the idol is more important than the quality of the movie itself."
"Hmm."
The cute girl seemed to be playing a character who was in love in the play.
She's giving intense stares to the middle-aged man at her part-time job.
Hesitant approaches were repeated, but the man did not take any particular action.
Adult men should not get involved with minors. Rules are important. Morality must be upheld. This commonplace conflict highlights the silhouette of an incomplete love.
"It's always like this."
Next to me, Kitagawa sighed.
"Movies are required to include either romance or family love. That way, they're guaranteed to be at least a hit. ...Ugh, it's so lame. I'm totally fed up with it."
"But isn't falling in love with someone a good thing?"
"Yeah, sure. But if it happened every single time, you'd get fed up with it, right?"
Kitagawa deliberately let out a snort and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He shook it up and down and put one in his mouth. He lit his Zippo lighter, and the lights came on in the dark building.
"Hey, Kitagawa"
"It's fine, isn't it? There aren't any other customers."
"But that doesn't mean you should smoke in a movie theater."
"What's up, Hayakawa? You've started worrying about stupid things too."
"ah?"
"I used to be much dumber back then."
"What do you know about me?"
"I don't know anything. But it wasn't like that, right?"
Zzzzz... The tip glows red slightly.
"Cigarettes are getting more and more expensive..."
It let out a wisp of smoke.
I gazed at it with a distant look in my eyes as it drifted gently.
It seems Kitagawa is in a bad mood today.
This is usually what happens after you get dumped.
It's a hassle, and all he does is complain, so I've decided not to take him seriously.
We looked for someone to keep us company instead. But there was no one else in the building besides us.
"What, are you looking for Aizawa or something?"
"Oh, no... that's true."
Oh yeah, that was his name.
Aizawa.
He's one of my friends from high school.
On our days off, it was a tradition for me, Kitagawa, and Aizawa to go out into town together.
So, if Kitagawa and I were watching a movie together, I naturally assumed he'd be there too...
"He's become really distant ever since he got a girlfriend. I wonder if playing at being lovers is really that great."
"Well, that's fine."
"It's the same for you. You have two cute girls, Nayuta and Reze, by your side."
"Really? ...Hmm, maybe so."
"Everyone becomes ordinary. We were all so much more rebellious when we were kids. Everyone starts out alone, right? But we just forget that. Ah, how boring, how boring."
"So, Kitagawa, you're saying you don't need a girlfriend?"
"That's impossible."
He twisted his cheeks in a sarcastic grin.
"I want love too. After all, it's the only form of entertainment available to ordinary people. Someone like me, with no redeeming qualities, has no choice but to pursue love."
Kitagawa exhaled a puff of purple smoke.
I gazed at the screen with distant eyes, through the wavering, fading white light.
I turn back to the screen.
I still don't really understand the movie's plot.
A handsome man and a beautiful woman are running.
They were holding hands and running as hard as they could.
To reach a brighter future.
"Hey, not that way."
Kitagawa mutters.
"You're wrong."
Yeah, I think so too.
When the movie ended, Kitagawa was gone.
Before I knew it, I was standing outside.
A cold wind is blowing along the riverbank at night.
There are grassy slopes on both sides. It seems to be the riverbank.
I walk on the snow-covered asphalt road.
I proceeded without really understanding what was going on.
move on.
There is no one around.
There's no sound of insects, and no sound of cars driving by.
I continued to wander aimlessly through the deafening silence.
Houses were densely packed on the opposite bank. Strangely, all the windows were dark. Had all the residents fallen asleep? You'd think at least one light would be on, even in the middle of the night.
As I glanced at it, the first thing that came to mind was a cemetery.
The houses are tombstones, and the people who sleep there are the dead.
Everyone gets up in the morning, goes to school or work, and keeps society running. They speak a common language, diligently perform their assigned roles, find satisfaction, and then return to their graves.
It's a cycle.
But it's nighttime now.
I wish everyone were dead.
Even non-zombie species, who can't speak and have no particular role to play, aren't looked at strangely.
I felt incredibly calm.
We proceed along the snowy road.
There are no streetlights; the only light we can rely on is the moon.
There were all sorts of things lying on the road.
A duck toy.
Dishwashing sponge.
A hanger for drying clothes.
I just kept going.
I found cigarettes and a disposable lighter.
It's in good condition. When I picked it up to try it out, the contents were like new.
I suddenly thought of this.
I wonder if cigarettes taste good.
"Aki was smoking..."
For a moment, I wondered if I should try smoking one myself.
But now that I think about it, Aki stopped smoking at some point, didn't she?
In that case, I'll pass too.
move on.
"...What is this?"
This time, a chain had fallen.
The chain stretched far into the distance, like a white line drawn in the middle of the road.
I don't know how far it goes.
I follow the chains, as if being led into the depths of an endless darkness.
follow.
Just keep following.
As I followed the trail, gazing at the dull sheen emanating from the chains at my feet, I suddenly remembered something.
Now that I think about it, the town where I used to live also had a river and an embankment.
This is the town where I ate toast with Pochita. The town where we killed the zombie demons. It might be worth dropping by on a whim.
For some reason, I had a feeling Makima would come to pick me up.
follow.
There are all sorts of things lying around on the road.
The calendar pages were torn out month by month and thrown away.
December's design features Santa Claus.
November is the time for endlessly stretching grasslands.
October is Halloween party month.
As I went back in time, the air grew warmer. The snow melted into puddles, and the moisture seeped into the gaps in my clothes. Soon I felt hot. A light sweat began to break out.
I took off my jacket and was left in just my shirt.
"How far do I have to walk?"
There was a loud bang, and a man's voice began to ring out.
Humans are also following the path of selective breeding.
I glanced over.
A radio was lying in the wet grass.
"Beautiful women mate with handsome men and give birth to beautiful children. Children born into wealthy families receive a good education, mate with equally talented partners, and can be raised to be successful and advance in life. Ugly people can only mate with ugly people, and fools with fools."
Try spreading your collar open and fanning yourself.
It was extremely hot.
"Hayakawa Denji. You should understand that too."
We reached the end of the embankment path.
I can't go any further. Multiple layers of "no entry" fences are preventing me from going any further.
The chain I had been following stretched all the way to the other side of the fence. Peering through the mesh, all I could see was darkness, and I couldn't tell where it started. As I stood there, wondering what to do, I noticed a dog collar lying there, as if to replace the chain.
That's all.
"Haaah..."
If you can't go straight, you have no choice but to take a detour.
To the right is the river.
To the left is an uninhabited residential area.
I couldn't even think about going into the river. I chose the left path.
The sound of the soles of my shoes crunching on pebbles echoed loudly.
"I want something to drink. Is there a convenience store nearby?"
I wiped away the sweat.
Anyone... anyone will do.
It doesn't have to be Makima. I just wanted to meet someone.
But who is this "someone"?
The silhouettes of a young demon and a slender girl came to mind, but they were hazy and indistinct, making it difficult to recall them.
What about their face? What about their voice?
What's your name...?
I felt like having a cigarette. But it would be too much trouble to go back and get one.
I walk down an empty road.
walk.
Just walk.
I kept walking.
The calendar had fallen again.
Next time it's August.
It was so hot that I finally took off my shirt.
"Huh?"
I realized.
There's no starter cord hanging from my chest.
I touched it with my palm, but I couldn't feel any foreign object.
"Pochita...?"
Pochita is missing.
It's just a flat human chest.
"So who exactly am I now?"
"You are Denji. Just Denji. Not Hayakawa Denji, and not Chainsaw Man."
I lifted my head.
A businessman-like man was sitting on the curb by the side of the road.
It has no face.
It's hidden by a messy brushstroke, as if it had been colored in with crayons.
The blacked-out areas, acting as a mosaic, changed shape every second, like flipping through a flipbook. Yet, the man's face remained invisible. This strange state of affairs sparked a doubt in my mind.
"Are you a demon?"
"that's right"
"What kind of demon?"
"My name is the interview devil."
"An interview?"
"Please have a seat."
Strangely, I didn't feel any hostility.
Now that Pochita is gone, I can't find any countermeasures, nor do I feel the need for them.
The man sits opposite me, across the road, on the curb in the same way.
Check your surroundings.
It's a dark city street.
Houses line both sides of the road, but none of the lights are on.
There's probably no one there.
No cars pass by, and not a single insect is flying around.
This is a place where creatures other than zombies are allowed to roam.
But what am I even living for?
"Where am I?"
"A dream. Your dream. I merely stepped into it."
"Is this my dream?"
"I told you, I'm the interview demon. I'm here to interview you. In your dreams. To make you shine."
"Huh...?"
"What do you want to do?"
"What did you say?"
"It's something I want to do."
"That's impossible..."
It's decided. I'll try to answer as asked.
But it doesn't come out right away.
Trying to remember is like trying to grasp at a fog; it's unreliable.
Hey, come out. I had already made up my mind.
"...He's the president. The president of the devil hunter company."
I managed to say it somehow.
A sense of relief spread through my empty chest.
"How do you become one?"
"a?"
"Have you made any plans? What are your alternatives in case things don't work out?"
"I don't know."
"Oh? You're not thinking about anything?"
"Nayuta will take care of the details."
...Nayuta!
The joy of finally regaining it made my head feel numb and hot.
"So you're leaving it to others? Well, that's fine too. ...Now, please tell me your reasons for applying."
"Time to die?"
"That's why you want to become the president of a devil hunter company."
"Well, they're popular with women, and they're important. Plus, they're rich. They can eat good food, right?"
Anything else?
"Other?"
"The reasons I just mentioned don't necessarily apply to people who aren't CEOs. All you need is money. CEOs aren't the only ones who are rich."
"Yeah, I think I'm suited to being a devil hunter."
"So that's why you're aiming for the devil hunter industry. I see, that makes sense. But you don't necessarily have to be the CEO, do you?"
"If you're not the president, you'll be ordered to do things you don't want to do. But if you're at the top, that won't happen."
"That's something Nayuta said, isn't it?"
"Yeah, that's right."
"You haven't decided anything on your own."
The man snapped his fingers.
Then I heard a bang behind me. I looked and saw a vending machine had appeared out of nowhere. A can of juice slowly slid out of the dispenser and fell onto the asphalt. It rolled and rolled across the road, came right in front of me, and hit the tip of my shoe with a thud.
Sparkling melon juice.
"please"
"I don't need it."
"There is no coffee here. The same goes for tea."
I picked it up out of necessity. I opened the pull tab.
With a satisfying popping sound, the carbonated bubbles burst.
I'm incredibly thirsty.
I drank it.
It was incredibly sweet.
No matter how much I drink, my thirst never goes away.
"Ugh... It doesn't really matter if the trigger was someone else."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"That's why I want to become president."
"Oh, I'm not saying it's bad. But didn't you decide to stop doing that kind of thing? You decided to think for yourself, right?"
I remember being deceived by Makima.
"That's right. You know it well."
"Then why did you do whatever Nayuta told you to do?"
"Nayuta was the one who suggested it, but I thought about it and decided it was okay."
"Are you satisfied with that?"
"Yes, I am. You should be able to tell, shouldn't you?"
"Well, yes."
The man snapped his fingers again.
Then, just like before, a can appeared from the vending machine and was handed to the man.
Canned beer.
"Does that taste good?"
It doesn't taste good.
"Then why do you drink it?"
"You'll understand when you're older."
"Oh, really?"
What a nasty person.
But for some reason, I can't bring myself to hate it.
Because I'm sure you'll understand.
This guy isn't an enemy. He's not an ally either.
And they're not strangers either.
This thing is a mirror. It's trying to reflect the true feelings I keep hidden inside my heart. If I feel disgusted when I see it, it's not its fault. The problem lies within myself.
I'm just being shown this.
"That's correct. —Well, that's the kind of demon I am. I have no ill intentions. Because humans themselves have the weapons that can harm them. They will hurt themselves on their own... so I don't need to do anything."
"I don't really understand, but you want to dig into what's going on in my heart, right?"
"That's how it will be."
"What are you going to talk about this time? That you killed Makima? Or about my father?"
"No, you've already come to terms with both of those things. I won't comment further. ...You're a strong person."
"What's with the sudden outburst?"
"Things that are pointless to think about are simply discarded. That ability has long been necessary for humans. Is this also evolution? Or is it a survival strategy?"
"Don't say such complicated things. I haven't even received compulsory education."
"That one"
The man throws the can of beer he's holding behind him.
It vanished into the darkness without a sound.
"Education. Common sense. You are completely lacking in those things."
"I thought so."
"Your life history is practically blank. You have no qualifications. No hobbies. The same goes for your special skills and self-introduction section. Yet, you don't seem to have any anxieties about that."
"No."
"That's what I find so strange. Humans are social creatures. When a person first becomes aware of how they appear to others, they can't help but be bewildered."
"Huh?"
"After you defeated Makima and started living with Nayuta, you must have become more aware of what it means to live in society. You must have realized your own immaturity. You may think that academic qualifications are just that—academic background—but you can't stop your anxiety about the future from growing...isn't that right?"
"That's why I'm studying. I've memorized the multiplication tables, and I can even speak a little English. I am Denji very much! ...How about that?"
"That's all? How can that be all? It's really strange."
The interview demon crosses its legs and tilts its head.
"With that level of competence, you won't become president, nor will you be treated as a decent human being... You understand that, don't you?"
"I know, but..."
"But?"
"Do you mean, 'I can't think that far ahead'?"
"What is that? I'd like to know for future reference."
"Aren't you the interview demon? I've never had an interview so I don't know, but is this what interviews are like?"
"That's fine. I'm interested."
"Oh really? Well, that's fine."
Hmm.
Perhaps because I was dreaming, or perhaps because it was something important to me, I couldn't bring myself to ignore it.
I slowly turned my head and thought about it.
I'm an idiot, so I might never become president. I might lose out on a lot of things in the future because of my stupidity. But I'm not too worried about that.
Why?
The faces that come to mind are those of Aki and Power.
It's true that everything went wrong because I was stupid.
So I decided to stop being an idiot.
...But that doesn't mean you can become smart right away.
The adults from the same town. My high school classmates. Those people around me are incredibly smart, probably because they've lived normal lives their whole lives. They seem to know some kind of unseen rules. I'm way behind. The gap might never close.
I think, "Wow!"
But that's not the important point.
"...When you hug Nayuta, she's so soft and fluffy, yet you can still feel her firmness."
I felt as though the interviewer's demon was glaring at me with a puzzled expression on the other side of a face that was blurred out in a mosaic pattern.
"It's warm and smells nice. I can sleep really well in it."
"What is that?"
"The story is that I like Nayuta."
"that's why?"
"But Nayuta is a demon, right? The Demon of Control. He's thought to be a really bad guy. ...Well, that might actually be the case, and even if I scold him, there might be nothing I can do. If that happens, everyone will want to get rid of Nayuta, right?"
"Well, I suppose that's what would happen."
"I don't like that."
If I had to name one thing that's terrifying in this world...
The problem was that Nayuta would be gone.
"But how can I protect them? ...I think I just need to get stronger! But even Pochita, who was the strongest, was defeated by Makima. ...There's no such thing as an invincible person in this world. So what do I do? There's a limit to what I can do alone...That's where genius comes in! I had an idea. If I can't do it alone...I'll just get others to cooperate."
I gripped the can of juice in my hand and threw it towards the darkness.
"So, Mr. President, if we have lots of allies, the chances of succeeding increase, right?"
"I see..."
My mouth is so sweet it makes me thirsty.
I sent a thought to the vending machine, "If this is really just a dream...", and with a clunk, the next drink rolled out.
I picked it up and checked the label.
Canned beer.
"There are probably a lot of other things I could do. But I don't know them right now, so I'll just study."
"So, you don't have to be the president, right? As long as you can protect Nayuta."
"Yeah. And the president has other advantages too."
"What do you mean?"
"When I hugged Reze from behind the other day, it felt so right. It was like, 'Ah, this is it.' I realized I really do love her."
"So you want to protect her too?"
"Yeah. You might not need my help, though."
"Hmm"
The interview devil tilts its upper body just a little.
"I'm appalled."
"yes?"
"After all, it's just sexual desire."
"I want to have sex."
"That's not what I meant."
"Oh really?"
I opened a can of beer.
I thought, "If this is just a dream, then no one will get mad at me," and took a sip.
Ugh. It's bitter.
"A lover is just another person. It's not forever. I thought you understood that."
I just ignored him and threw my can of beer aside.
I'm fine without another drink. It's a bit of a waste, though.
"You're a man, so you can love many. It's your reproductive instinct. But women are different. They are creatures that move on to find just one superior mate. ...Didn't you consider the possibility that you might be abandoned?"
"I don't like that."
"To live to protect the woman you love—it sounds nice, but it doesn't change the fact that you're entrusting the direction of your life to the choices of others. Why not at least enter into a contract called marriage first? ...Although, one is a demon, and the other is unregistered and doesn't belong to society... I don't think you can really bind each other."
"You sound like you're really happy when you say it."
"Of course. It's my reason for living."
I clasped my fingers behind my head and gazed at the night sky.
A single moon floats in the sky. That's all. If it's hidden by clouds, darkness will envelop everything.
"I wonder if I got rejected... But I can't know for sure."
"...So you're not saying you trust them?"
"Because I don't know. I don't know what's going on in Nayuta's or Reze's minds."
"Maybe we can peek at Nayuta's side?"
"Checking every day is too much of a hassle."
"Hmm..."
"I wonder if I got dumped. I wonder if I got dumped, but at worst, I'd be happy as long as she's still alive."
The moonlight may sometimes be blocked.
But compared to the shattered memories, it's enough if they just float around, even if they're on the other side of the clouds. That's what I think.
...I've been rejected!
"There's one thing I've come to understand. And that is... you don't seem like you'll be my prey."
"I see."
The interview demon mutters, "Well then," and stands up. He wipes the dirt off his backside and straightens his posture.
"It seems my time limit is almost up. Nayuta has noticed me in the real world. I'm just a weak demon... I'll be crushed in an instant. So I'll be taking my leave now."
"Are you going to run away?"
"Yes, I'll make my escape. I intend to continue conducting interviews in a low-key manner, and to expose the reality of those who are unable to face themselves and are escaping from reality."
"That's a really nasty guy."
"Thank you for the interview today."
The businessman-like man bowed, bending at a right angle at the waist.
Then, she suddenly looked up and gave me a meaningful stare.
"What is it?"
"Hayakawa Denji-kun—I wish you continued success in your endeavors."
@
"--ji. Denji."
I hear a voice.
The familiar voice gently seeped into my earlobes.
"Uh, ah, Nayuta...?"
When I opened my eyes, I saw Nayuta's face.
Beyond that is the ceiling. My room.
When I finally managed to catch my breath, I realized I was drenched in sweat.
It seems I was asleep.
"Nayuta..."
I felt an irresistible urge to touch it and see for myself, so I reached out my hand towards Nayuta's composed face, only to have it slapped away.
That's awful.
A pair of dark eyes returned my gaze. They didn't seem to be rejecting me, but I couldn't read what they were thinking either.
"Is something wrong?"
"Ah, yeah... It was kind of a crappy dream."
"dream?"
"Ah, I had a shitty dream."
"what kind"
"I don't remember."
"Okay, I'll watch it."
Before I could nod, he placed his hand over my forehead.
I wonder what I'm doing. Watching? My dream...?
"..."
Five seconds.
Ten seconds.
"..."
Nayuta did not move.
He looked just like a doctor in the middle of an examination. I became concerned and looked serious too. But even after he took more than 30 breaths, Nayuta didn't move a muscle. What's going on? I had a feeling he was about to be told he had some terrible illness.
"Nayuta?"
"..."
"Hey, Nayuta"
"Not really"
"teeth?"
Nayuta stood up, avoiding eye contact. I felt a slight tension in her shoulders. "It's nothing," she muttered, shuffling her bare feet to the door. Something felt off.
It stopped dead in its tracks.
My back is talking.
"It seems Denji was possessed by an evil demon."
"Hmm. What kind of person is that?"
"It's nothing serious. He's already run away. It won't affect Denji."
"I see."
Okay then.
get up.
My sweat-soaked clothes were sticking to me and it felt awful. I thought I'd take a bath. I started to take off my shirt, but then I realized Nayuta was still standing in front of the door.
I wonder what it is.
"...It's okay. Denji won't run away so easily; he's possessed by a much worse devil."
No sooner had she said it than Nayuta opened the door and left.
"bean paste?"
The door creaks and shakes, not closing completely.
What's that?
That day's dinner had an extra dish.
I don't really understand why, but I'm lucky!
Bonus episode: Let's begin today's stressful interview. The end.