Agung's soul practically started to exit his body. He looked at the ceiling, then at the floor, then at the small, unassuming door that led to the guest bedrooms of the Takami Ryokan.
"Wait..." Agung whispered, his voice cracking like a dry leaf. "You're telling me... that right now... while I've been sitting here singing *Kowareyasuki* off-key and complaining about my old salary... **seven of them** are asleep just down the hallway?"
Mari leaned in, her eyes twinkling with that signature "Shiny!" mischief. She patted his cheek with a hand that smelled faintly of expensive perfume and chaos.
"Don't worry, *darling*~!" Mari chirped, her English accent more pronounced as she enjoyed his suffering. "It's not all fourteen! It's just seven in Chika-chan's big guest bedroom. That would be Umi-chi's boy, Kotori-chan's girl, Maki-chan's little doctor... and the Nijigasaki crew: Kanata's Kureha, Ai-chi's twin hurricanes, and Lanzhu's little princess."
Agung gulped. Seven children. Behind one sliding paper door.
"Whilst mine, Dia-chan's, and Yohane-chan's little angels are still at our own homes," Mari added, waving a dismissive hand. "We didn't want to cause a *total* stampede at the Ryokan. Seven is a party, fourteen is a riot!"
Agung looked at the door to the hallway, then back at the "Auntie Squad" (Chika, You, and Hanamaru) who were now vibrating with suppressed laughter.
"Seven kids," Agung muttered, his face turning a ghostly shade of pale. "Seven kids are currently sleeping in a room managed by Chika. That means any second now, one of them is going to wake up, realize their 'deadbeat' dad is back, and the peace of Numazu is going to be shattered forever."
He looked at Umi, who was still standing over him like a stern sentinel.
"Umi-chan," Agung said, his voice trembling. "Your son... the one you said is a practitioner of discipline... is he... is he a morning person? Does he wake up with a 'Love Arrow Shoot' or does he prefer a quiet breakfast?"
"He wakes up at 4:00 AM for practice," Umi said, checking the clock.
Agung's eyes bugged out. 3:45 AM.
"I have fifteen minutes," Agung gasped, frantically grabbing his chopsticks and shoveled the last of the miso-potato into his mouth. "Fifteen minutes before I transition from 'Panda' to 'Target Practice.' Chika! Hide the chocolate! Kanata! Keep that credit card ready, we might need to buy a literal bouncy castle to distract them!"
He stood up, his round "Panda" belly shaking slightly as he tried to find his balance.
"I came here expecting a mystery," Agung groaned, "but I'm living in a 4-koma comedy manga. Seven kids in the next room... seven more on the way... and a wife who wants to turn me into a target."
He looked at the girls, his expression softening despite the terror. "Well, Pekalongan taught me one thing: if you're going to face a storm, you do it with a full stomach and a clean broom. Let's go. Open the door. Let the 'Panda' meet his dynasty."
Just then, from the back of the house, a small, sleepy voice cried out: *"Mama? Is Papa's ghost still singing?"*
Agung froze. "Ghost? They think I'm a ghost?!"