"The people around me have thinned out."
Soyo let out a sigh.
"The air is turning cold, too."
So hungry, so thirsty, so cold, so lonely.
Still, no one had come to take her away.
But Soyo refused to accept it; she couldn't bring herself to give up.
She knew this intersection before her was the only clue about Chiose that she knew of in the real world...
What if she left and Chiose came? Wouldn't she miss her then?
The mere thought of missing Chiose all over again filled Soyo with dread.
She wanted so badly to see Mother—no matter which mother, she just wanted to see her.
Mother... she needed to find the time to tell her to stop pushing herself so hard.
After struggling for so many years, if she kept letting her body run nonstop, sooner or later something would go wrong—just like in the dream.
And then there was Chiose-mama...
Chiose...
Who exactly are you?
Why have I seen you as an adult and as a small child, yet the real you is only a teenager?
You... what secret art, what incantation did you cast upon me, to make me unable to let go of you like this?
I hate that you let me know you at all. Why did you have to show me that kind of [love] that hardly anyone in the whole world has ever truly possessed?
In this fast-food age where hearts have lost their old sincerity, the love you showed me was too fairy-tale-like, too beautiful and pure.
Why give me... Nagasaki Soyo... a pitiful girl... such love, only to snatch it away again?
Soyo crouched down against the streetlamp, and under the setting sun her shadow was slowly swallowed by the shadows of the buildings.
"I miss you."
"When will you come and pick me up?"
"You'll... appear, right? You'll appear, won't you?"
Chiose, I will surely wait for you.
I definitely will...
The ghost of the crossroads grew hazy before the oncoming night.
She seemed to hear a creaking, croaking sound coming from an intersection not far off, like some kind of pet's cry.
That was probably a crow.
"Haah."
Going home, pressing cheek to cheek with her little sister, cooking, washing up, sharing dinner together—and just like that, another day had passed.
"Big sis, did anything interesting happen at school today?"
"Yes—big sis filled a whole notebook with Kyoumoto's name at school, to express how much big sis misses Kyoumoto."
Actually, she'd also written down Soyo, Tomori, and Taki.
"Whaat! How embarrassing! Is it really okay for big sis not to pay attention in class?"
"You can just trust me! I'm quite formidable, you know."
Chiose swallowed the rice in her mouth and slowly wiped the corner of her lips with a napkin.
Tomorrow was Friday—Takamatsu Tomori and Shiina Taki were coming over to visit her home!
Chiose was really looking forward to her friends' arrival... In the real world, this was the very first time friends had ever come to play at her house.
Mm... that one time with Sakiko didn't count! After all, Sakiko had barely finished a single cup of tea before Chiose dragged her out to go job-hunting.
Chiose brushed a grain of rice off the side of Kyoumoto's face and, without hesitation, popped it into her own mouth.
She remembered that this morning Sakiko had seemed to tell her something.
Sakiko had said she'd found a job that paid pretty well, and had asked whether Chiose wanted to go along with her.
Chiose hadn't thought about it for long before flatly refusing.
After all, time in reality wasn't for making money! That was something to do in the Simulation; real time was meant to be spent savoring cheerful everyday life with the girls.
After dinner, Kyoumoto sat on the living room sofa listening to the radio, and Chiose noticed the child's complexion looked better than before, too.
That was because the family had money now, right? Sure enough, a little cash really does nourish a person.
"Feel like having some fruit? When big sis goes out to take out the trash, she can buy a little for Little Kyou."
"Really? Then I want blueberries!"
"Why do you want blueberries?"
"Because Kyoumoto heard that blueberries can help restore healthy eyesight! Little Kyou wants to see what big sis looks like... But aren't blueberries kind of expensive? If they're too pricey, then never mind."
"They're not expensive at all."
The urge welling up inside her to ruffle Kyoumoto's head was unstoppable.
After Chiose thoroughly enjoyed a moment of the "massage service" Kyoumoto's little head gave her palm, she changed into casual clothes and headed out the door.
Here's hoping that tonight, there'd be no worries!
...
How Nagasaki Soyo wished that tonight... there'd be no worries.
Endless fantasies swirled through her mind, making Soyo want to laugh again and again, yet unable to make a single sound.
She leaned against the wall by the roadside, the streetlamp not far off.
But she didn't dare go near it.
Compared to that jarring sense of being surrounded by light, hiding alone, concealed within the darkness, made Soyo feel far more at ease.
Mm... but then again, maybe standing under the streetlamp would make her more visible, and that would make it easier for Little Chiose to find her.
A moment ago Soyo had dozed off for a while.
In her fantasy she'd seen a mother who loved her, coming every day to pick her up from school and bring her home; she also had a daughter who loved her, clinging to her every day begging for hugs—hahahaha, it was too dreamlike.
"I really, really want a complete [home]... Why is it that I don't have... a home?"
Her voice was small, so small that even Soyo herself could barely make it out, and it was soft and timid, too—like a tiny plate of rice cakes.
So happy! The world of fantasy really was so happy!
"If only I could live in that fantasy forever."
The cruelty of the real world contrasted far too starkly with the beauty of her fantasy, so much so that now every passing second was like a knife carving into her soul.
In reality, the only one who still loved her was probably her mother—but her mother had been in a low mood lately, and was busy with work besides.
"If only I hadn't been so busy with work back then, if only I had..."
Over the course of the whole day, Soyo had already murmured [if only] countless times, but the problem was that none of those [if only] scenarios people spoke of actually existed.
She couldn't tell whether it was an illusion or whether the weather had truly turned, but Soyo felt colder and colder.
The ground was icy, its texture wretched, and the air seemed to have already frozen over.
It was only spring now... Ah! Didn't Little Chiose pass away in spring, too?
And Chiose-mama, Chiose-mama, she...
Countless phantoms that did not exist flashed through Soyo's mind, her eyelids drooping ceaselessly, an indescribable weariness spreading out from deep within her body with every breath.
She had spent an entire day without eating, without drinking, without answering calls, without checking messages, just waiting for Chiose to appear.
"Go to sleep now, Soyo."
From deep within her heart seemed to come Chiose-mama's voice.
Mother? Is that you? It is... No, it's not you; you've already gone.
Before her eyes surfaced the letter her mother had written to her, and her daughter's doodles inside the wardrobe.
She missed them so much—she really, truly wanted to see them again.
Blinking countless times within a single minute, Soyo felt she really couldn't hold on much longer.
Rain began to fall from the sky—not heavy, but more than enough to chill the heart.
Soyo's vision was growing blurry, but a figure that suddenly appeared within her sight instantly jolted her back to alertness.
Long white hair trembling with each step, red-gold pupils gleaming in the dead of night—a girl was drawing closer to me...
You... you're—?
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