1. Birthday's gift
I know that I am far away from being an ordinary boy.
This was the first sentence the boy wrote in his first diary ever. It was a gift from his parents for his 10th birthday. They thought it was a good idea to give him a diary because he wrote remarkably well at an early age. The diary was a small one, measuring 20x13cm, with a blue cover. Even the papers inside were blue with white lines to write on.
After that day, a new hue graced the boy's room! His room was clad in different shades of green because most of the things precious to the boy were green.
Dear gentle reader, you will not give as much attention to the diary and its color as you will to what the boy wrote in it, I am sure of that. By now, you probably have a few questions swirling in your mind: Why does the boy think he is not ordinary? Is he truly abnormal or is he unrecognizably gifted?
Let me tell you something, dear reader, the boy was right. He was not ordinary, not really. However, he had not yet learned to see the bright side of being different.
If we check all of the dictionaries in the world in every language, we will find that an "ordinary person" is defined as a normal human being, a person who isn't extraordinarily different in any way.
The boy, however, had his own understanding of what it meant to be ordinary and penned it in his new diary:
An ordinary boy does ordinary things. He can eat sweeties. He can play football. He can run. He can handle a heavy backpack. He can go to school every single day and not only for the exams. An ordinary boy can have friends to share interests, ideas, and adventures with.
Well, the boy considered, at least no one stared when he went outside anymore. No one gawked at him, wondering if he belonged on Earth with the rest of them. They used to look and look and never turn away. That really hurts, the boy admitted to the blue pages of his diary.
The boy used to sit in front of the window of his room, watching the other kids go to school, wearing their uniforms, and holding their colorful backpacks. They walked with their friends in groups of five or six, sharing peals of laughter. When the boy was younger, he used to cry when he saw the other children like that. But, dear reader, they weren't tears of jealousy, but agony. In those moments he couldn't ignore the crushing weight of being helpless and alone.
It is sad, is not it, Reader? For a boy so young to be incapable of doing the simplest things. The things that everyone else seemed to be able to do and feel so easily. Being ordinary was the boy's deepest wish.
Every year, on my birthday, the boy wrote in his diary, I wish that I could wake up from the horrible nightmare that is my life. That the feelings of weakness, helplessness, and loneliness could vanish before the end of my next birthday. I want to wake up from this pain.
My mom, my dad, and my sibling always ask me the same question every year: "What do you want this new year?" Every year, I just smile and say "nothing". They laugh as usual and they insist on knowing, so I tell them I want a new toy that I do not have. Last year I said I wanted a camera, and they brought me one, but deep down I wanted nothing but to be an ordinary boy who can do ordinary things.
The boy took a deep breath and added
With my condition, that wish will always only a wish. I never tell my family about what I truly want because I know it will ruin their happy mood.
He smiled to himself thinking, there is a voice inside telling me that I will be more than just an ordinary boy all I must do is to be patient. Be patient…Be patient and bright things will come.
The boy felt this feeling for the first time when he read a quote hanging from the board of his father's office. His father had a habit of pinning up a new inspirational quote every day, but he loved this quote so much that it still sits on the corner of the board. Thinking of it now, the boy added it to the blue pages of his diary.
I say
be patient
because you must.
There is no sense
in shaking the tree
when there are no fruits
ripe enough
for you to catch.
Enough for today, the boy thought, closing his dairy. It was ten o'clock and high time he prepared himself for bed.
The boy was getting used to people's reactions toward him. At least, that is what he told his parents. After a very long list of painful moments and accidents, he understood how people responded to him. He had his first major incident when he was just six years old. He noticed that a child far away was giving him a peculiar look.
That day had been a lovely one for a walk despite the wet and cold from the rain. The boy had gone out with his mother to play in the park. He remembered holding his mother's hand happily. They had stopped at the toy store at the end of the block. His mom showed him some of the new cars that he might love. The cars came in various sizes and multiple different colors.
His mother always noticed other people's reactions toward her child, but she never directed the boy's attention to it. A little piece of the boy died inside whenever the other children ran away from him like he was the big bad wolf trying to eat the other sheep. They treated him like he didn't belong. His mom knew how terribly painful those experiences were for him and
always did her best to never make her little boy feel like an outcast.
To this day, she always tells him how special he is.
Yes Reader, that's what all mothers do. Every child is special in his mother's eyes, and her love is enough to keep our hearts beating.
They ended up buying a new toy car that trip. The boy requested the mini red one with other toys. He did not like the color red very much, but that car gained his admiration. After that, they went straight to the park still holding hands. When his mom retold the story, she said that he was so thrilled with the toy that he could hardly wait for her to park the car before hopping out to play.
Up to that moment, everything seemed fine to the boy. In the park, there was a big pond full of ducks. The boy used to come with his mother, father, or brother to feed them. The ducks remembered him and would all gather around whenever he was by the water. On that visit, he hadn't brought anything to feed them, he just came to play.
In the meantime, there was a bunch of kids playing together. The boy felt happy. He thought that it would be a good idea to share his new toy with them. He left his mother's hand and ran a bit fast, to go play with them.
"Hi! Hey! Good morning!" He said in his happy babyish voice, waving to them with his toys clutched in his two tiny hands.
He repeated this greeting until he reached them. As he did, they turned around to see who had joined them. When they saw him, they looked at him with terrified looks and started screaming as loud as they could. Moreover, they left the place, running toward the familiarity of their mothers. The mothers hurried to comfort their kids, looking upon the boy with eyes full of wonder and curiosity.
The boy remained speechless. He could not understand what was going on. He froze in place and started shaking before he turned around to see his mother who stood and watched the scene from a distance. She smiled at her son. He did not smile back. Instead, he ran to her, covered his head with her coat, and cried silently.
His mother had heard the other mothers whispering about his large head full of veins. After the shock wore off, the kids stopped screaming and started saying other things.
Mean things…
"Alien!" they murmured with looks of accusation. When the boy left his mother's side and came closer, the other children shouted at him with discomfort still etched in their faces.
Even though he heard what they were murmuring, the boy tried one more time to be friendly, but it was a useless attempt.
He turned around, his mother behind him. She remained as calm as she possibly could while the boy poured out his heart.
"I have a big head, but I am not an alien. Aliens do not exist, right, Mom?" The boy was confused and could not understand why everything had happened. His mother laughed gently to lighten to mood,
"Yes Love, aliens do not exist." She took his hands and held them firmly. He could tell that she was about to say something important. "Don't worry Love, you just need to show them what your big head can do," she said in a proud tone. "It's okay to cry now. It's even okay for you to cry later, but Love, you are brave like no other I have ever known. Remember boy, you are unlike anyone else. You are special. And one day you will feel blessed that you are as such." She smiled that kind, maternal smile that required the boy to smile back. However, he did not return her smile this time.
"I do not want to play anymore," he admitted. "Let's go home Mom, please." He was tired and depressed. The experience ruined the day for him before it even began.
"Are you sure, Love?" his mother asked. He replied that he was. He took his mom's hand and kept his head down the whole way home.
The screams of the kids remained in the boy's mind for days after. Whenever he saw his face in the mirror, he remembered their words, their shouts, and the faces they made.
"Life is so annoying!" he shouted one day in front of the mirror.
Yes, Reader, life can be very annoying and challenging. We ordinary people (ordinary according to the boy) who do ordinary things cannot forget these tough memories easily, as much as we try. Ordinary people find that almost everything is related to the bad moments in our lives. Some of us may overlook these moments, while others may not forget at all. It all depends on how much that wound is bleeding. However, time is the best cure. These bad times may leave marks, but with time, the pain can lessen.
For the boy, the wound opened that day bled often. Stupid things like this happened all the time, but he had never noticed before. He had never heard such mean words before and never saw the ugly faces people gave him. He was too busy with his life. But from that day on, he started to notice every hesitant move, every unpleasant look, and every unkind word. After that day, it was hard for the boy to ignore the pain and pretend like there was nothing wrong.