Lu Fen lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling.
The buns were gone — both of them, chive and egg. He had eaten them very slowly, chewing bite by bite, wanting the taste to linger in his mouth a little longer.
Now it was gone.
He touched the corner of his mouth. Still lifted. It had stayed lifted from the alley entrance all the way into his room, from standing to lying down. It hadn't gone down.
He turned over to face the wall.
There was a water stain on the wall, shaped a bit like a rabbit. He stared at that rabbit, but her face was in his mind.
The way she had squatted at his door. The way her eyes had dodged a little when she said, "I had something to do at home." The way her finger had touched his hand when she handed him the buns.
He remembered that temperature.
A little cooler than the buns, but not cold either.
He turned over again to face the ceiling.
What had happened at her home?
He hadn't asked. She hadn't said.
He had wanted to ask. He opened his mouth, but the words didn't come out.
He didn't know why he hadn't asked. Maybe he was afraid. Maybe he felt he didn't have the right. Maybe he was afraid that if he asked, she would stop coming.
He thought and thought, and then he fell asleep.
---
The next morning — knocking.
He sat up, paused for a second, then walked quickly to the door and opened it.
No one was there.
On the ground sat a plastic bag — steamed buns, soy milk.
He glanced toward the stairwell. No one.
He picked it up, went back inside, sat down, and ate.
He took a bite. Meat filling.
He chewed, the corner of his mouth lifted.
When he finished, he stood up, walked to the door, and stood there for a few seconds. Then he closed the door and went to work.
---
When he arrived at the crematorium, Old Liu was smoking at the entrance. He saw Lu Fen, and his gaze paused on Lu Fen's face for a moment.
Lu Fen walked over. Old Liu handed him a cigarette. He took it.
They squatted and smoked.
When they finished, Old Liu stood up and walked inside. After two steps, he turned back and said, "The corner of your mouth isn't lifted today."
Lu Fen froze for a second.
Old Liu had already gone inside.
He squatted there and touched the corner of his mouth. Flat.
He stood up and walked inside.
---
A lot of work today. Five people to burn. He worked from morning until night and didn't even have time for lunch.
When he got off work, it was already dark. He was so tired his back ached and his legs were sore. His hands were even shaking as he changed his clothes.
He walked out the door, stood at the entrance, and looked around.
No one.
He stood there for a few seconds, then started walking back.
When he reached the entrance of his alley, he looked toward his door from a distance.
No one.
He walked over, stood at his door, and looked down at the ground.
No plastic bag.
He stood there for a few seconds, opened the door, and went inside.
The room was dark. He didn't turn on the light. He sat on the edge of the bed. After sitting for a while, he reached under his pillow and felt around. The knife was still there.
He pulled out his phone and glanced at it.
No messages.
He tucked his phone back into his pocket, lay down, and stared at the ceiling.
His stomach growled. He hadn't eaten all day.
But he didn't feel like moving.
---
He didn't know how long had passed when he heard a sound outside.
A motorcycle.
He sat up.
The sound grew closer, then stopped.
He stood up, walked to the door, and stood there without opening it.
Footsteps.
A knock.
He opened the door.
She was standing there, carrying two plastic bags. One held a food container. The other held steamed buns.
She looked at him. "Why didn't you turn on the light?"
He said, "I didn't."
She glanced inside. It was pitch black. Then she handed him the things she was carrying. "Here."
He took them.
She didn't leave. She just stood there at the door.
He stood there too.
They stood there for a few seconds. Then she said, "Aren't you going to let me in?"
He froze for a second, then stepped aside.
She came in, stood in the room, and looked around. There was just a bed, a cabinet, and a chair. Nothing on the walls.
She said, "This is where you live?"
He said, "Yeah."
She didn't say anything. She walked to the chair and sat down.
He was still standing at the door, holding the plastic bags.
She said, "Close the door. It's windy."
He closed the door, walked over, and put the plastic bags on the bed.
She said, "Eat."
He sat down, opened the food container — braised pork, shredded potatoes, rice. Still steaming.
He picked up his chopsticks and took a bite.
The pork was tender, sweet and savory, perfect with rice.
He ate. She watched.
After a few bites, he said, "Did you eat?"
She said, "I did."
He kept eating.
Halfway through, something occurred to him. He looked up at her. "Why did you come today?"
She said, "I was passing by."
He said, "Passing by from where?"
She didn't speak.
He looked at her.
She felt a little uncomfortable under his gaze and turned her face away. "Eat your food."
He lowered his head and kept eating.
The corner of his mouth lifted.
---
When he finished eating, he put the lid back on the container and set it aside.
She was still sitting there. She hadn't left.
He didn't know what to say either.
They just sat there, neither speaking.
After a while, she suddenly said, "Don't try to handle that Lame Li thing on your own."
He froze for a second.
She said, "I asked around about that guy. He keeps seven or eight thugs under him. If it comes to a real fight, you'll lose."
He said, "I know."
She said, "If you know, why did you go corner him at the chess card room?"
He froze for a second. "How do you know that?"
She didn't speak.
He looked at her.
She said, "I saw you that night. When you came out of the chess card room."
He said, "You followed me?"
She said, "I was passing by."
He said, "Passing by again?"
She didn't speak.
They looked at each other for a few seconds.
She looked away first. She stood up. "Alright, I'm going."
He stood up too.
She walked to the door, then turned back to look at him. "Eat those buns tomorrow morning. Don't let them go bad."
He said, "Okay."
She pulled the door open and went out.
He followed her to the door and watched her walk toward the entrance of the alley.
After a few steps, she suddenly turned back. "Lu Fen."
He froze for a second.
She said, "I'll keep an eye on Lame Li for you."
Then she turned and left.
He stood at the door, watching her figure disappear into the night.
He stood there for a long time.
Then he looked down at the buns in his hand and smiled.
---